₦airaland Forum

Gofwane:
hey mr man, a word of advice please: you should just make your point without insulting me. Never you ever, i mean ever insult me again.

I believe that's fair enough

Who dah f**k is u

Gofwane:
Please nairalanders, help me out!

I'm in luv with this slay Queen that looks like a twin sister to Rihanna. We started dating in 2009 though there were couple of problems that kept us apart for almost a year or two cos i moved out of town. But our paths just kept crossing.

We hooked up about 2 years ago and started a long distance relationship and since then, she has been talking of we setting down. She even told me that next year won't end without her getting married.

But here are the problems i'm faced with though I've not told her about some of them.

1= I'm a student and in ND2 though I'm working but the paycheck is nothing to write home about. She is also a student though about to go for nysc


2= I had a very serious problem in school and chances are i will have to start all over again.


3= recently, she told me of how she is looking forward to becoming a career woman devoting all her time to work and nothing else. That really did hit me with a bang because that is not the type of wife i want. I need a wife that will really have time for the kids. I told her about it and her response really shocked me. In her words, " we will have to get a house girl then "

I mean WTF men!!



4= she also told me that she doesn't want to get pregnant the normal natural way because she doesn't want to start looking old quickly. If it isn't IVF, then we will have to adopt or nothing else.
Now i don't have a problem with adopting a kid, in fact i swore an oath to God that if i was able to get a stable or a bit stable life, I'm going to adopt a child and be a blessing to him or her because I'm an orphan though i grew up with my grandmother. The problem is i will need a good wife with a lot of time to help raise the kid and our kids.

... so with these problems, i clearly can't see a future with her so i want to let her go - the earlier the better. But i don't know how to go about it. To make matters worse, she keeps pressuring me about me or she coming over cos she is addicted to me!
The last time we had an issue, it really didn't go down well with her that she nearly harmed herself were it not for her sister that got to know about it and intervened on time.


So please is there anyone here that can suggest to me how i should handle this issue without anyone getting hurt?

Thanks.

I lost interest in reading when I got to "I am in ND2".. Thought you guys stayed apart so you could complete maybe an MSc or a PhD. Guy, look your front and focus on yourself first.

ibietela2:
Did you read were he said he is 28? You still expect a 28YRS old man to focus only on studies?

yes he should..

PrimadonnaO:
Just face your studies.

The best advice given.

Iseoluwani:
Who dah f**k is u

ok then, your choice.

Bamz:
It's a very delicate case, this one. I sense a precarious breakup but I think it can b
www.google.com.ng/amp/s/m.wikihow.com/Break-Up-With-Someone-Who-Is-Threatening-Suicide%3famp=1

Cheers mate.

thanks man. I appreciate

Opentokwowledge:
It's never too early or too late to start planning. IMHO anyways, your age doesn't necessarily have to mean you're qualified for marriage. Does it?
It's a subjective ish though, as there is no precision tool/gauge to measure the range of psychological or material fitness one must reach before being qualified for admission into the marriage institution.
I've never been married myself so, I might not be in the best position to tell you what to expect when you get there. However, judging by the standards your purported love is craving and your attitude towards it, It is no brainer that you're not lorry enough to carry her luggage and some other ones that might come with anybody else e.g getting an housekeeper while she's making money. This was why I came charging you to set your priorities right and close off your mind to commitment for the time being, enjoying life as they come . If you feel you're game enough for marriage though, by all means, carry on!

thanks bro. What i actually need is a method to use in ending the relationship.

runsgirl:
Go and finish your studies and get a job. Leave trouble that you cannot afford

that's what i want to do. I just need a safe method to use cos the girl is quite emotional.

XhosaNostra:
Can I ask something 1st. If she decides to compromise, would you give the relationship a chance or perhaps there're other things you're unhappy about in the relationship?

Well, for me, my happiness is important. I can't remain in an unhappy situation for obligation or anything. If I see something has no chance of working out, I'll state my reasons & exit. I really don't negotiate or care how they feel about my decision to leave. It's selfish but I don't know how to do it any other way because all I keep thinking about is my own wellbeing.

to answer your first question, i honestly will consider giving the relationship a chance if she is willing to compromise but only if i'm sure that she is doing that willingly and it won't be an issue in the future.