Marriage is a societal and religious construct. I always wonder why ladies always take marriage rites and traditions so serious that atmes they betray their own feelings just to get married.

I am of the opinion that marriage has never helped the male folks except to limit their independence. The worldview that it is to a man's sole benefit that he is survived by his offspring or be considered irrelevant is a fallacy.

The emergence of any new life till adulthood favours the female folks most while the male folks take wholesome responsibility of upkeep and sustainability of the child.

Marriage is a shackle to male freedom. He gives up his independence and emotional stability to a woman in exchange of what please? What does marriage offer to a man aside procreation cos I know a well-to-do man can contract a lady for procreation purposes only and pay her off?

I have observed the life of most married men and discovered that peace, stability, comfort and independence elude them.

OK... let's hear from ladies since I'm a man

Goddys:
Marriage is a societal and religious construct. I always wonder why ladies always take marriage rites and traditions so serious that atmes they betray their own feelings just to get married.

I am of the opinion that marriage has never helped the male folks except to limit their independence. The worldview that it is to a man's sole benefit that he is survived by his offspring or be considered irrelevant is a fallacy.

The emergence of any new life till adulthood favours the female folks most while the male folks take wholesome responsibility of upkeep and sustainability of the child.

Marriage is a shackle to male freedom. He gives up his independence and emotional stability to a woman in exchange of what please? What does marriage offer to a man aside procreation cos I know a well-to-do man can contract a lady for procreation purposes only and pay her off?

I have observed the life of most married men and discovered that peace, stability, comfort and independence elude them.

Judging from your writeup op
Its either you are not married
OR
you married the wrong woman

Marriage takes away your freedom?
Really?
It takes maturity to stay committed to one person

Not every lady wants marriage, we like our freedom too. The thought of going to bed with a bag of chips, instead of cooking a big meal for a husband & kids, sounds more enticing to me. Another thing is, when you live alone things stay the same, you don't have to tidy up after someone else. You can also do whatever the hell you want without having to check-in with the "head office" before making decisions or going anywhere. So basically, you're a free bird & life is on your terms.

Sigh. Looks divine from where I'm sitting.

XhosaNostra:
Not every lady wants marriage, we like our freedom too. The thought of going to bed with a bag of chips, instead of cooking a big meal for a husband & kids, sounds more enticing to me. Another thing is, when you live alone things stay the same, you don't have to tidy up after someone else. You can also do whatever the hell you want without having to check-in with the "head office" before making decisions or going anywhere. So basically, you're a free bird & life is on your terms.

Sigh. Looks devine from where I'm sitting.

true!

XhosaNostra:
Not every lady wants marriage, we like our freedom too. The thought of going to bed with a bag of chips, instead of cooking a big meal for a husband & kids, sounds more enticing to me. Another thing is, when you live alone things stay the same, you don't have to tidy up after someone else. You can also do whatever the hell you want without having to check-in with the "head office" before making decisions or going anywhere. So basically, you're a free bird & life is on your terms.

Sigh. Looks divine from where I'm sitting.

Nice one

Marriage is just overrated in Nigeria sha

Goddys:
Marriage is a societal and religious construct. I always wonder why ladies always take marriage rites and traditions so serious that atmes they betray their own feelings just to get married.

I am of the opinion that marriage has never helped the male folks except to limit their independence. The worldview that it is to a man's sole benefit that he is survived by his offspring or be considered irrelevant is a fallacy.

The emergence of any new life till adulthood favours the female folks most while the male folks take wholesome responsibility of upkeep and sustainability of the child.

Marriage is a shackle to male freedom. He gives up his independence and emotional stability to a woman in exchange of what please? What does marriage offer to a man aside procreation cos I know a well-to-do man can contract a lady for procreation purposes only and pay her off?

I have observed the life of most married men and discovered that peace, stability, comfort and independence elude them.

its both ways!! That's why I like Oprah Winfrey style!!!

XhosaNostra:
Not every lady wants marriage, we like our freedom too. The thought of going to bed with a bag of chips, instead of cooking a big meal for a husband & kids, sounds more enticing to me. Another thing is, when you live alone things stay the same, you don't have to tidy up after someone else. You can also do whatever the hell you want without having to check-in with the "head office" before making decisions or going anywhere. So basically, you're a free bird & life is on your terms.

Sigh. Looks divine from where I'm sitting.

The though of waking up to breakfast on your bed or having a chef doing the meal for the home doesnt occur to you.

Zuluhead:

The though of waking up to breakfast on your bed or having a chef doing the meal for the home doesnt occur to you.

That sounds nice too, but sometimes you just wanna be alone. A part-time husband, maybe?

XhosaNostra:
Not every lady wants marriage, we like our freedom too. The thought of going to bed with a bag of chips, instead of cooking a big meal for a husband & kids, sounds more enticing to me. Another thing is, when you live alone things stay the same, you don't have to tidy up after someone else. You can also do whatever the hell you want without having to check-in with the "head office" before making decisions or going anywhere. So basically, you're a free bird & life is on your terms.

Sigh. Looks divine from where I'm sitting.

You sound so tough. But we know you ain't. You shall soon find love.

XhosaNostra:



That sounds nice too, but sometimes you just wanna be alone. A part-time husband, maybe?

u know if u get all that, na u no go wan leave the boy last last!!

boiz2men:



You sound so tough. But we know you ain't. You shall soon find love.

I'm not against love. I love love. I just don't believe people should get married to prove their commitment to each other. I'm also not a person that dates around a lot, I believe in monogamy, I'm only not feeling the idea of a traditional marriage. I really like my personal space.

Shugavee:
its both ways!! That's why I like Oprah Winfrey style!!!

See your face . Then tomorrow you start creating threads on marriages all over the forum. Funny you

Marriage is highly over-rated these days. I love my single life (don't need no woman monitoring my every move).

so why waste her time dating her if you know you can't marry her. .mtchew

Shugavee:
u know if u get all that, na u no go wan leave the boy last last!!

Hahaha. You think so? He sounds like a gem, doesn't he?
Perhaps I'd give an exception to that. I mean who doesn't wanna live in style?

XhosaNostra:


I'm not against love. I love love. I just don't believe people should get married to prove their commitment to each other. I'm also not a person that dates around a lot, I believe in monogamy, I'm only not feeling the idea of a traditional marriage. I really like my personal space.

very cool

It must not always end in marriage. That's where people get it wrong. The conditions should be stated right from the start.

When I go into a relationship with a lady I tell her it's just a fling and nothing serious will ever come out of this. The mistakes most guys make is when they lead the lady on and she just keeps hanging on, hoping and wishing for what will never be. If it's a fling say it's a fling, no time for pretense.

XhosaNostra:



Hahaha. You think so? He sounds like a gem, doesn't he?
Perhaps I'd give an exception to that. I mean who doesn't wanna live in style?

lol

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:


See your face . Then tomorrow you start creating threads on marriages all over the forum. Funny you

Marriage is highly over-rated these days. I love my single life (don't need no woman monitoring my every move).

camon shatap!!! I know u need a hug!!! Single guys can sha pretend like they dont need a woman!!

This OP sounds either frustrated or rejected. Marriage is a beautiful thing only our hearts could make it ugly. It not only makes you focus but responsible. Women/Ladies are doing men the favour by marrying them and not the reverse. ''He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God'' not she who finds a husband!

Shugavee:
camon shatap!!! I know u need a hug!!! Single guys can sha pretend like they dont need a woman!!

I am in a good mood this morning, so no fights today (lucky you)

I can be very difficult and I know this. So the lucky lady has to be very patient with a cool temperament (like Mother Theresa) if I am ever going to settle down with one woman.

Don't generalize, not all women are crazy over the marriage thing or are willing to do anything to get a husband.

I'm a glad you said you are of the " opinion ". Here is a different opinion; many women have not been " helped " by marriage either . They have to go to work like the man does , bring up the kids , take care of the home . In many of these relationships, you will find out the man only has one duty , to bring home the paycheck. While the woman slaves away in both the job and home front. So who benefits the most here ? . In this write up, you only focused on the scenario of a man being the sole breadwinner and the woman being the home maker.

Btw , if you marry the wrong person , you will surely suffer. People have a tendency of marrying people because they feel they owe them that, " we've been together for 5 years , so it makes sense to tie the knot". Not necessarily, you should first look out for your own happiness and sanity before considering how someone else will be hurt by your decision not to marry them.
You mentioned;

*Stability , do you have a clear plan on how you will achieve both your dreams without one having to give up a lot of themselves ? . If you have sat down and considered both your situations and come up with a workable plan, and stick to it , why won't you have stability?.
* peace , do your temperaments complement each other ? You can't have two hot heads in a healthy relationship and expect peace . Do you have an understanding of how you will handle time with friends and extended family ?. What about party life , are guys going to do it together, or are you both done with that? This is very important as it can lead to a lot of conflicts .
* comfort, if you choose someone who sees things the way you do , I don't see why you should be uncomfortable. You will both have peace of mind if you are clear about what you want, and don't run around pretending you are OK with something even when you hate it. Transparency from the get go is key.
* independence, I'm not sure what you mean by this. But if you are talking about roaming the streets anytime you want without letting your partner know or them being ok with it, then you shouldn't be in a serious relationship. You can have your *me *time , and chill with your mates without your partner but they have to know where and until when. It's called being responsible and considerate .

XhosaNostra:



That sounds nice too, but sometimes you just wanna be alone. A part-time husband, maybe?

Of course you have your own room and chamber whenever you wanna be alone or a vacations to relax the brain who handle that.

Lionessza:

Don't generalize, not all women are crazy over the marriage thing or are willing to do anything to get a husband.

I'm a glad you said you are of the " opinion ". Here is a different opinion; many women have not been " helped " by marriage either . They have to go to work like the man does , bring up the kids , take care of the home . In many of these relationships, you will find out the man only has one duty , to bring home the paycheck. While the woman slaves away in both the job and home front. So who benefits the most here ? . In this write up, you only focused on the scenario of a man being the sole breadwinner and the woman being the home maker.

Btw , if you marry the wrong person , you will surely suffer. People have a tendency of marrying people because they feel they owe them that, " we've been together for 5 years , so it makes sense to tie the knot". Not necessarily, you should first look out for your own happiness and sanity before considering how someone else will be hurt by your decision not to marry them.
You mentioned;

*Stability , do you have a clear plan on how you will achieve both your dreams without one having to give up a lot of themselves ? . If you have sat down and considered both your situations and come up with a workable plan, and stick to it , why won't you have stability?.
* peace , do your temperaments complement each other ? You can't have two hot heads in a healthy relationship and expect peace . Do you have an understanding of how you will handle time with friends and extended family ?. What about party life , are guys going to do it together, or are you both done with that? This is very important as it can lead to a lot of conflicts .
* comfort, if you choose someone who sees things the way you do , I don't see why you should be uncomfortable. You will both have peace of mind if you are clear about what you want, and don't run around pretending you are OK with something even when you hate it. Transparency from the get go is key.
* independence, I'm not sure what you mean by this. But if you are talking about roaming the streets anytime you want without letting your partner know or them being ok with it, then you shouldn't be in a serious relationship. You can have your *me *time , and chill with your mates without your partner but they have to know where and until when. It's called being responsible and considerate .

Claireshan1 , you need to read this

Marriage isn't a trophy

Pusyiter:
This OP sounds either frustrated or rejected. Marriage is a beautiful thing only our hearts could make it ugly. It not only makes you focus but responsible. Women/Ladies are doing men the favour by marrying them and not the reverse. ''He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God'' not she who finds a husband!

nice one!!

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:
It must not always end in marriage. That's where people get it wrong. The conditions should be stated right from the start.

When I go into a relationship with a lady I tell her it's just a fling and nothing serious will ever come out of this. The mistakes most guys make is when they lead the lady on and she just keeps hanging on, hoping and wishing for what will never be. If it's a fling say it's a fling, no time for pretense.

And any right thinking lady will agreed to that? So a girl will be there for sleeping around with you for what benefits? Material gains? Oh please! A girl that agrees to that has other motives.

Pearl05:



And any right thinking lady will agreed to that? So a girl will be there for sleeping around with you for what benefits? Material gains? Oh please! A girl that agrees to that has other motives.

Yes material benefits from me. It's a win win situation. It's safer that way.

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:


Yes material benefits from me. It's a win win situation. It's safer that way.

Lol! when you hear material benefits, you be thinking he can provide the lady with elephant � but he ends up giving her rabbit � with some sense of accomplishment sef.

Pearl05:




Lol! when you hear material benefits, you be thinking he can provide the lady with elephant � but he ends up giving her rabbit � with some sense of accomplishment sef.

What kind of benefits do you want when we are not married?

At least I don't go about deceiving them and promising them marriage

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:


What kind of benefits do you want when we are not married?

At least I don't go about deceiving them and promising them marriage

Good, a woman with good head over her shoulder can provide for herself beyond the so called benefits you offered to give. The so called flings abi friends with benefits doesn't usually end well. One party will always feel cheated.


Fine you started out stating the rules of the game but at a point she or you starts having feelings for the other, that's where things goes south.