₦airaland Forum

Yes, it's very possible. My younger brother uses a different surname from me. I'm using my grandfather's name as my surname while my younger brother is using my father's name as his.... So, it's not a big deal here...

Morwendy:
Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

Morwendy, he is right. Save yourself the headache. He is not scamming you. Normally , Nigeria culture intend children to use their paternal's name not their immediate father's name. But some persons can decide to use their immediate father's name. Like me for instance, I do use my immediate father's name not my paternal's name. So you see, is a normal thing here.

Please, pay no attention to those who called you names saying you've disrespected Nigerians or your husband. You have not in any way said so and neither have you implied that he's a scammer.

However, I personally think you're being scammed. That's how I see it from this perspective.

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers didn't

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers didn't

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

I don't think your questions caused any offence or demeanored Nigerians in any way.... There are many immature people on this forum lately and you may have to deal with them in order to get meaningful advice from other sensible nairalanders...

Two more points if he is a scammer he must be the most patient one I know !!!!! 8 years to scam u when u are not the queen of England ?

Name change some possibilities
1 legal troubles or immigration troubles
2 changed to English name to avoid discrimination
Eg from OFUNAGORO to JAMES
3 to confirm with the documents he used to work ( belonged to somebody else )
4 very common in the eastern Nigeria for those who believe in the osu caste system their names reflect that they are osu - they change it to an English name and don’t tell you which village they are from so u cannot trace thier past - he says he is from Owerri - he may have given the name of Abigail town so he cannot be traced to his ancestral home .

5 names associated with old juju or shrines are often changed to break that association - religious English names we often chosen if for example he became a Christian

Using the old name - he may not have told the whole family that he changed it - he is only going for burial after that he returns .

Business - someone else addressed everybody registers business most times they are inactive he may not have told u cos there is nothing to tell . I have a registered business in Nigeria - I have not conducted any business , the businesss doesn’t even have a bank account . It’s just in case there is an opportunity.

Arranged Wife - u said u guys have no kids , he may be comfortable with that but nigerian families never are . They may have arranged som body for him to pass on the lineage - does he have other kids ? Does he have a male kid ? Nigerian men must have a boy !!!! All these things are factors . At least you know he refused that should be reassuring !!!!

File for him and move on , he probably hasn’t told u becos u won’t understand .

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers didn't

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

He is 49 and no kid? Did he tell you he has already got kids back in Nigeria?

Morwendy:
I don't think he's a gold digger, we both work hard for what we have and that has never been an issue. I just wonder how he has his grandfathers name (paternal not maternal) and a business that I didnt know about. He has no property that I'm aware of until his fathers passing recently but he doesnt have documents for his fathers properties yet. No documents until he got the ID card just before we married.

Yes, it's done.

Mostly in southern and eastern Nigeria.

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

this should not be a problem for you at all. since he has been married with you for over 8years. That isnt even the issue. It could be that he got to europe or where ever it is you are through illegal means and had to change or use another person's papers to do so. maybe he thinks you would not understand if he relates it with you. You sound like you are not Nigerian. I dont think its something you should be worried about though. I know a few people who have done stuff like this, using other names to get to europe. I would advice you to not listen to many people on here because they do not have an iota of idea what they are talking about because most of them are just kids who have not seen the other side of life. But you need to ask him so he tells you the truth to satisfy your conscience.

I've seen people who have different surnames from their siblings. Not very common, but it happens.

HRtechnique:
I'm guessing you are a very young girl and not married hence your uninformed opinion.

Do you know what 8 years of marriage is?

People separate in months, divorce in one year, two years, go through hell for four years, eat, sleep together, fight, argue, live together for 365 days times 8.

Learn to bridle your tongue sister so that you don't destroy someone's life because we know nothing about their marriage but can only give our opinions on our beds like we know the man.

She said they both work hard for what they have today.
It's not her fault that she wants to know some things based on the recent developments in her marriage but it's not in our place to mar it.

i have problem with all your comment, you are just trying to defend the man. I still stand on my word, the woman has every right to doubt the man because he keeps secrets and secondly Nigeria men are known to be fraudsters.. so don't blame the lady. her instincts might be wrong but she has every right to think that way.. am not married yet, so? shay the priest and rev.sister giving marital advice are married? your sense of reasoning is shallow coupled with pride .. you don't have to tell me if I have opinions or not.. 20yrs of marriage do crash because of trust issues not to talk of 8yrs.. if you really want to save this marriage then stop making the lady feel inferior. advice her to talk to her husband and settle issues. gosh! u ain't talking like a Nigeria learned man.

EmpresFIDEL:
i have problem with all your comment, you are just trying to defend the man. I still stand on my word, the woman has every right to doubt the man because he keeps secrets and secondly Nigeria men are known to be fraudsters.. so don't blame the lady. her instincts might be wrong but she has every right to think that way.. am not married yet, so? shay the priest and rev.sister giving marital advice are married? your sense of reasoning is shallow coupled with pride .. you don't have to tell me if I have opinions or not.. 20yrs of marriage do crash because of trust issues not to talk of 8yrs.. if you really want to save this marriage then stop making the lady feel inferior. advice her to talk to her husband and settle issues. gosh! u ain't talking like a Nigeria learned man.

MAN!! sorry, how old are you? You talk like a child! Nigerian men are not fraudsters!

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers didn't

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

Thanks for remaining civil and calm in the face of provocative comments. Goodluck.

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

The surname is no big deal. My elder sister uses my father's name as her surname. The rest of us siblings use our grandfather's.

QueenSuccubus:



I have no idea as well..it's kinda weird that he has a different surname.. If that's the case, anyone of them in Ng can juz choose a surname they want? And my question is --- when are they allowed to change it?

Have u seen his birth certificate or school diplomas?

Anyway, this is too complicated for me..lemme ask my TRUE-BLUE Ng friends to confirm..

Cc
RadicallyBlunt
Martin0
Dafeyankee
Itzjwizzy

you're calling on the elders! Its not even only the name. He's been lying to her abt his website too. He probably has lied abt so many other things she's yet to find out. How funny it is to marry and find out after years that you don't even know who you married

People saying he can't scam you after eight years.... Hahahaha... Ive seen a man who has been married to his Japanese American wife for about 20 years now. They have 3 kids one together and the man has perfected plans to leave her after everything hes gained from her.

I have siblings who live in Europe. About four of them bear different surnames for different reasons. It's no big to us.

The question I have for you is have you given birth to children, which surname are you using for them .I have two surname s equally. Do not be afraid he can do away with you and your children.

RadicallyBlunt:
you're calling on the elders! Its not even only the name. He's been lying to her abt his website too. He probably has lied abt so many other things she's yet to find out. How funny it is to marry and find out after years that you don't even know who you married

But im confused as well..I read some comments here that IT IS POSSIBLE to change ur surname in Ng...Haba! How? I don't understand that someone will juz change his/her last name anyhow sha.. If that's the case, then the person will be very hard to trace & his roots ooo..

trapQ:
People saying he can't scam you after eight years.... Hahahaha... Ive seen a man who has been married to his Japanese American wife for about 20 years now. They have 3 kids one together and the man has perfected plans to leave her after everything hes gained from her.

Come don’t come and spoil somebody market - my guy just de lose guard for another person matter

Cyosaro:
I have siblings who live in Europe. About four of them bear different surnames for different reasons. It's no big to us.

Haba! Ur not serious ooo

Why they do that?

QueenSuccubus:


But im confused as well..I read some comments here that IT IS POSSIBLE to change ur surname in Ng...Haba! How? I don't understand that someone will juz change his/her last name anyhow sha.. If that's the case, then the person will be very hard to trace & his roots ooo..

It just takes going to court and putting it in newspaper that’s all

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

Some people do have different namestyles by adopting thier fathers first name or other names in the lineage.

No one wakes up in the morning and decides to change his name just like that. There's a proper procedures in doing so officially.

It must be done by the court with an affidavit to support and newspapers publication anything short of this is a scam.

Morwendy:
Thanks but when I'm about to pay £2.5k for his leave to remain and hes been busy setting up his secret company in Nigeria, I think I may be permitted to think that when he's a permanent resident next month, he has plans to be changing things?

Sorry dear, but you've been scammed. He's got another wife in Nigeria probably.

Do you guys have kids?

Pay no mind to those who say having a different surname to your family members is no big deal.

True, some people do it yet your surname is the only way to trace your lineage. Changing it for the flimsiest excuse is a serious matter.

whobemumu:
It just takes going to court and putting it in newspaper that’s all

But that guy didn't go to court ... His sister done it on his behalf..

Seriously, i juz find it weird and honestly it's scary...

Don't be worried about tee surname. My husband has a different surname too. He took up the new surname when he came to Europe. I and the children use the new surname. He is known by a different name and surname entirely back in Nigeria. Do I care? No! I have been happily married for 15 years. Please rest your fears if you are worried about the surname alone. His permanent residence will definitely be in his new surname ain't? So why are you worried? About, All the other issues you have raised about his business and another wife, he may want to marry a Nigerian wife due to family pressure but it has nothing to do with changing his surname.

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

Fact is their is nothing wrong with that,I actually use my grand father's surname and not the name my dad used,my dad choose his father's first name as his surname at a point but I prefferd our original surname that's why I am stuck with it,I have also seen friends with last names different from thier siblings,it's usually synonymous with people from some parts of the igbo tribe but some other Nigerians do that too.
Secondly Its obvious you have serious insecurity issues and one of those that have bought into the ugly stereotype that Nigerian men are fraudsters,that's very bad of you and a clear sign that you need to work on your insecurity,learn to trust...

Boss13:
I am irritated by her. Let her say the truth, she does not want to file for him. She is here looking for justification and not answers. She has a hidden agenda. I just feel sad for the husband who has no clue that the wife is investigating him after 8 years of marriage.

But you think its alright for him to open a company without her knowledge? and he's never even mentioned it to her in passing till she found out by chance.
Is he being transparent?
That would set off alarm bells in any right thinking person's mind. I don't blame her, as nobody likes to be used. She's only human afterall.

I don't understand the essence of you coming online to talk about this, I mean you guys have lived for 8years, isn't that enough to be mad at him whenever you, and sort things out, it's obvious you totally distrust him, and I don't think it will be cool with him, if he finds out you've been snitching around....... Why don't you talk to him.... And see what he got, cos nothing we tell you here is enough to size your hubby's actions up... Instead it will lead to more distrust and snitching around of which he doesn't deserve..... Take your time sweet...

eyinjuege:
But you think its alright for him to open a company without her knowledge? and he's never even mentioned it to her in passing till she found out by chance.
Is he being transparent?
That would set off alarm bells in any right thinking person's mind. I don't blame her, as nobody likes to be used. She's only human afterall.

shut up there,what do you know? He set up a website without telling her and so effing what?

LivingFree:
You're in your 50s! Which means his 47? Do you guys have children? If the answer is no... You are being scammed

The writing is on the wall but you should just let him get his passport and see if he sticks around. 8 years in he probably loves you but he just loves himself more..

What tribe is he?

Watch what you say, you may be planting a seed in a farm you know little about the story

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

Dear Sis, don't let it bother you. My Dad is the only one in his family using his Grand-Dads name and his siblings uses their Dads name.
Now I use my great-Grand fathers name and my cousins uses my Grand-fathers name.
One of my brother is using my fathers first name as his surname till date and his kids are doing same, don't let it bother you,it's all about choices.