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My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by linearity: 1:35am On May 23, 2018
donstan18:
I need to be honest with you Mr man.

Your agreement with him was to SERVE him and getting settled after seven years. This is part of the service you are to render.

There's a thing line between serving an OGA and learning skills from an OGA.

You pay to learn skills, while you get paid to serve. Any mistake you make now out of anger will have your years of services with him wasted.

Nothing comes easy, even in universities, you don't just learn from lecturers, you work for them in some cases so long as you are aiming a particular goal.


Be guided Bruv, keep enduring, it's not easy to stay with a married uncle, not atall. But some goals worth the stress.

It could be a trap or a planned game to mess you up, don't fall for it.

It's your right to leave, but it'll be your loss.

After 7 years, and he refuses to settle you, you can then freely use them for rituals. God will understand.
Not true!

The agreement was him to serve in a specific discipline, which is at his business and not to be a house boy.

He is also suppose to be learning the trade and accumulating his contacts and networks that may be needed, when he is settled and on his own.

Running a few errands in the house okay, but not converting him to a full house help, while the business is going on.

I am pretty sure that, at the onset had his uncle disclosed to him that, he will be coming to become a house boy and not to learn a trade, he would have rejected the offer.

That not withstanding, he is in a delicate position...my advice is don’t keep it bottled up inside you, confide in your parents...they will be in a better position to talk to your uncle. If you talk to him, given the African culture, he might feel disrespected. Also, be prepare for the worst case scenario as he might decide to kick you out, since he need more of a house boy now than an a trade apprentice and you have indicated that, you don’t want to be a houseboy.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by linearity: 1:44am On May 23, 2018
Diamond23:
Y I said so z because he might v served him for 3-4yrs. If u know how most of behave den u understand ma reasons. Sometimes dey even discharge der apprentice once z time for settlement xo in order not to give one stupid excuse he should just v patient.sitting him down discussing abt d agreement might be seeing as a sign of disrespect to him
Something tells me that, his uncle is in the category of masters whom you have described can dismiss their apprentice for any reason just so that, they wouldn’t settle him/her.

A man that, can not keep an agreement for apprentice to serve under his business in order to learn the trade can’t be trusted to honor that same agreement he has violate to settle the guy after seven years.

He has definitely changed the terms and spirit of the agreement and converted the guy into a houseboy, there is no need hoping that something magical will happen if he stayed for the remaining 4 yrs.

More so, people don’t easily release their house help after a defined period of time unless they become a burden, and as such my guess is; he is still going to be there and continue as houseboy even after 4yrs.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Diamond23(f): 6:33am On May 23, 2018
linearity:
Something tells me that, his uncle is in the category of masters whom you have described can dismiss their apprentice for any reason just so that, they wouldn’t settle him/her.

A man that, can not keep an agreement for apprentice to serve under his business in order to learn the trade can’t be trusted to honor that same agreement he has violate to settle the guy after seven years.

He has definitely changed the terms and spirit of the agreement and converted the guy into a houseboy, there is no need hoping that something magical will happen if he stayed for the remaining 4 yrs.

More so, people don’t easily release their house help after a defined period of time unless they become a burden, and as such my guess is; he is still going to be there and continue as houseboy even after 4yrs.
My dear breaching of agreement is synonymous among most of d Ogas/Masters.His case z even small compared to wot i c everyday most of dem go through. A man dat allows his nwaboy to prepare hz dinner even after been married z a sign of weakness frm d man.in Igbo der z a name we bear ....JIDEOFOR......sorry! Can’t explain it in English.xo fault will not be found frm hz side cux wen d tym comes nobody will believe hz side of d story cause dey believe okenye adighi atu asi....... xo if am still to advise it will be JIDEOFOR,JISIKE, NWEENDIDI...... but if ur family Z well to do Nd u v learnt enoff to guide u den take d bold step Nd confront him, if not keep ur pace
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Diamond23(f): 7:00am On May 23, 2018
donstan18:
I need to be honest with you Mr man.

Your agreement with him was to SERVE him and getting settled after seven years. This is part of the service you are to render.

There's a thing line between serving an OGA and learning skills from an OGA.

You pay to learn skills, while you get paid to serve. Any mistake you make now out of anger will have your years of services with him wasted.

Nothing comes easy, even in universities, you don't just learn from lecturers, you work for them in some cases so long as you are aiming a particular goal.


Be guided Bruv, keep enduring, it's not easy to stay with a married uncle, not atall. But some goals worth the stress.

It could be a trap or a planned game to mess you up, don't fall for it.

It's your right to leave, but it'll be your loss.

After 7 years, and he refuses to settle you, you can then freely use them for rituals. God will understand.
Just saw this now!!!, best advice xo far. Sonoflord come and carry dz advice tie it round ur waist nd let it be a guide to u why moving abt wit ur apprenticeship buh I dnt support d oda idea of ritualism grin
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by ghettochild4u(m): 7:01am On May 23, 2018
donstan18:
I need to be honest with you Mr man.

Your agreement with him was to SERVE him and getting settled after seven years. This is part of the service you are to render.

There's a thing line between serving an OGA and learning skills from an OGA.

You pay to learn skills, while you get paid to serve. Any mistake you make now out of anger will have your years of services with him wasted.

Nothing comes easy, even in universities, you don't just learn from lecturers, you work for them in some cases so long as you are aiming a particular goal.


Be guided Bruv, keep enduring, it's not easy to stay with a married uncle, not atall. But some goals worth the stress.

It could be a trap or a planned game to mess you up, don't fall for it.

It's your right to leave, but it'll be your loss.

After 7 years, and he refuses to settle you, you can then freely use them for rituals. God will understand.
Lol... use dem for ritual... God will understand....
So to avoid using them for ritual
He should let his parents know what he's going thru
Am sure d OP meant to serve him in his trade not be a manservant to his wife...
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by ghettochild4u(m): 7:09am On May 23, 2018
Diamond23:
Y I said so z because he might v served him for 3-4yrs. If u know how most of behave den u understand ma reasons. Sometimes dey even discharge der apprentice once z time for settlement xo in order not to give one stupid excuse he should just v patient.sitting him down discussing abt d agreement might be seeing as a sign of disrespect to him
I agree with u...
This is why some boys carry their oga money run
when they noticed he's deviated from agreement and seem the type that will tell dem stories when settlement comes..
These Oga plenty for lagos wella..
They become so reliant on this boys that they weigh d price of letting him go.. then they start to misbehave..
I know someone here in south africa serving oga... they opened a shop for him to sell hairpiece (hair extensions).
They give him 10 rand for feeding daily... 10 rand is 280 naira presently.. it's was 250 b4....
U can imagine..
What the guy does now is that... he's saving extra money he's making or stealing if i shd call it n giving his nigerian gf to keep in her acct.. cos hes planning to quit this year
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by ghettochild4u(m): 7:11am On May 23, 2018
Sonoflord:
they are destabilising my emotions and you say I should have patience.

No ooh

How much with he settle me with after 7yrs just 1000000 I could possible make if I was only my own. But that's not what am counting.
Better u leave n chase ur dreams. No time
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by EzendiEgo1: 7:16am On May 23, 2018
ghettochild4u:
I agree with u...
This is why some boys carry their oga money run
when they noticed he's deviated from agreement and seem the type that will tell dem stories when settlement comes..
These Oga plenty for lagos wella..
They become so reliant on this boys that they weigh d price of letting him go.. then they start to misbehave..
I know someone here in south africa serving oga... they opened a shop for him to sell hairpiece (hair extensions).
They give him 10 rand for feeding daily... 10 rand is 280 naira presently.. it's was 250 b4....
U can imagine..
What the guy does now is that... he's saving extra money he's making or stealing if i shd call it n[b]giving his nigerian gf to keep in her acct.. cos hes planning to quit this year [/b]
that's a very bad decision for a guy to make

Why giving your girlfriend money to keep for you
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by UDUJ(m): 7:20am On May 23, 2018
donstan18:
I need to be honest with you Mr man.

Your agreement with him was to SERVE him and getting settled after seven years. This is part of the service you are to render.

There's a thing line between serving an OGA and learning skills from an OGA.

You pay to learn skills, while you get paid to serve. Any mistake you make now out of anger will have your years of services with him wasted.

Nothing comes easy, even in universities, you don't just learn from lecturers, you work for them in some cases so long as you are aiming a particular goal.


Be guided Bruv, keep enduring, it's not easy to stay with a married uncle, not atall. But some goals worth the stress.

It could be a trap or a planned game to mess you up, don't fall for it.

It's your right to leave, but it'll be your loss.

After 7 years, and he refuses to settle you, you can then freely use them for rituals. God will understand.
grin grin cheesy The boldfaced, this dude you always crack me up cheesy grin

Let me know whenever you're in Lagos bro. Madman grin
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by ghettochild4u(m): 7:22am On May 23, 2018
Sonoflord:
there's no good thing am going to see than 1000000 afterwards.

Have you been in a situation that destabilize your emotions or make you feel Dejected every day.

I have endure enough bro for 2yrs+ I had been enduring bro
Ok bro..
Count how many pipl says leave n compare to those who says endure..
Whichever one tallies with ur mind...
Go for it...
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by ghettochild4u(m): 7:23am On May 23, 2018
donstan18:
Mr man. I'm obviously not a type that will be touched with a well sympathy constructed stories.

Now let me ask. Will you love to live with him while you serve him or rent a house with your money while you serve him for years.

Our problem is that we hate challenges, we all want it to be going smoothly. The single uncle you use to know is now not the married uncle you know.

Furthermore on advice; make his wife your friend.
Why will even marry a woman who won't cook for me n b dependent on my boy...
Hell No, I wonder how some igbo men dey think sef
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by donstan18: 7:26am On May 23, 2018
UDUJ:
grin grin cheesy The boldfaced, this dude you always crack me up cheesy grin

Let me know whenever you're in Lagos bro. Madman grin
Lol, 1% relationship with Lagos. grin
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Sonoflord(op): 7:34am On May 23, 2018
ghettochild4u:
Better u leave n chase ur dreams. No time
thanks bro
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by wristbangle: 7:34am On May 23, 2018
Sonoflord:
they are destabilising my emotions and you say I should have patience.

No ooh

How much with he settle me with after 7yrs just 1000000 I could possible make if I was only my own. But that's not what am counting.
How sure he would settle you when the period of service elapse?

Your future rests on the decision you make today. Discuss about your displeasure routine with your uncle and if the itinerary remains unchanged, it's better you quit instead of wasting precious moment of life gaining nothing.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Sonoflord(op):
Diamond23:
Just saw this now!!!, best advice xo far. Sonoflord come and carry dz advice tie it round ur waist nd let it be a guide to u why moving abt wit ur apprenticeship buh I dnt support d oda idea of ritualism grin
even if I will have to enduring this suffering it will never pass this year.

I have made up my mind to meet him and tell him what I have been passing through in his house. The highest thing he will do, is to ask me to leave his house which o will gladly do.


Good morning thank you for your advise sister
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Sonoflord(op): 7:56am On May 23, 2018
wristbangle:
How sure he would settle you when the period of service elapse?

Your future rests on the decision you make today. Discuss about your displeasure routine with your uncle and if the itinerary remains unchanged, it's better you quit instead of wasting precious moment of life gaining nothing.
even if he settled me or not am not too attache to the settlement. All I need is to build contact, customer and so on not what am experiencing in his house
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Diamond23(f): 7:58am On May 23, 2018
ghettochild4u:
I agree with u...
This is why some boys carry their oga money run
when they noticed he's deviated from agreement and seem the type that will tell dem stories when settlement comes..
These Oga plenty for lagos wella..
They become so reliant on this boys that they weigh d price of letting him go.. then they start to misbehave..
I know someone here in south africa serving oga... they opened a shop for him to sell hairpiece (hair extensions).
They give him 10 rand for feeding daily... 10 rand is 280 naira presently.. it's was 250 b4....
U can imagine..
What the guy does now is that... he's saving extra money he's making or stealing if i shd call it n giving his nigerian gf to keep in her acct.. cos hes planning to quit this year
just tell him dat he might be jumping frm frying pan to fire by giving hz g.f money to save for him. That method nearly send a friend bk to d villa cux wen he came bk nd demanded for d money the story was not a sweet one.....bk to d tori.....most of dem r d colonial masters of our tym.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Sonoflord(op): 8:00am On May 23, 2018
ghettochild4u:
Why will even marry a woman who won't cook for me n b dependent on my boy...
Hell No, I wonder how some igbo men dey think sef
my brother not that am speaking against but a married woman should care for her husband more than herself.

Can you imagine that since last year she had not clean her husband room or wash his clothes.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Diamond23(f): 8:01am On May 23, 2018
Sonoflord:
even if I will have to enduring this suffering it will never pass this year.

I have made up my mind to meet him and tell him what I have been passing through in his house. The highest thing he will do, is to ask me to leave his house which o will gladly do.


Good morning thank you for your advise sister
Same to u dear!, wish u well buh make sure u no touch him moni ooooooo grin cheesy
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Sonoflord(op): 8:05am On May 23, 2018
Diamond23:
Same to u dear!, wish u well buh make sure u no touch him moni ooooooo grin cheesy
I don't touch his money.

I will keep you inform after I meet next month and his decision.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Diamond23(f): 8:15am On May 23, 2018
Sonoflord:
I don't touch his money.

I will keep you inform after I meet next month and his decision.
Peace brotherly!
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by EzendiEgo1: 8:18am On May 23, 2018
Diamond23:
Peace brotherly!
you are so caring sisterly

I love people like you very much
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by NeeKlaus: 8:55am On May 23, 2018
mhisbliss:
You should've signed a written agreement with him before embarking on this futile journey to nowhere, but since you've wasted some productive years serving this man, you should inform your parents and tell them you'd want to have a chitchat with him to clarify things, then approach him in a respectful manner and tell him how you feel, make him know you're not getting any younger and make sure he gives you a tangible reason why he's doing this, then make him sit with your parents so you guys can duscuss when he'll settle you
A written agreement would be of little or no effect because the Law does not recognize a contract for personal services (i.e an agreement between a master and his servant.)

All he should do is reason with his Uncle so they can settle on an equal ground or he can take the more suitable option of walking out.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by mhisbliss(f): 9:29am On May 23, 2018
NeeKlaus:
A written agreement would be of little or no effect because the Law does not recognize a contract for personal services (i.e an agreement between a master and his servant.)

All he should do is reason with his Uncle so they can settle on an equal ground or he can take the more suitable option of walking out.
Really? Written agreements don't work? What part of the world are you from?
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Diamond23(f): 10:00am On May 23, 2018
EzendiEgo1:
you are so caring sisterly

I love people like you very much
Gracious kiss
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by NeeKlaus: 10:02am On May 23, 2018
mhisbliss:
Really? Written agreements don't work? What part of the world are you from?
I didn't say written agreements won't work, a valid agreement is binding by law. What I said is that the Law won't enforce a signed agreement made for personal services.

And I am from the Western part of Africa.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by rex444(m): 10:38am On May 23, 2018
I really don't buy the idea of serving anyone but yes with the way things are going in this country,one has to survive one way or the other .... Just be patient,you have come a long way. Do ur bid and when the time comes you will become your own boss....it's in d Bible...before you are served ,u must serve
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by pedrilo: 11:01am On May 23, 2018
endure bro, after the stipulated period u will be free and go away wit some money.
dnt let them force u out wit notin oh
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by EzendiEgo1: 11:56am On May 23, 2018
rex444:
I really don't buy the idea of serving anyone but yes with the way things are going in this country,one has to survive one way or the other .... Just be patient,you have come a long way. Do ur bid and when the time comes you will become your own boss....it's in d Bible...before you are served ,u must serve
the phrase is what they use in confusing my Igbo brothers
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by Sonoflord(op): 3:41pm On May 24, 2018
rex444:
I really don't buy the idea of serving anyone but yes with the way things are going in this country,one has to survive one way or the other .... Just be patient,you have come a long way. Do ur bid and when the time comes you will become your own boss....it's in d Bible...before you are served ,u must serve
pedrilo:
endure bro, after the stipulated period u will be free and go away wit some money.
dnt let them force u out wit notin oh
I should continuing enduring being a house maid for 3yrs from now while my mate are out there hustling building customer base.
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by pedrilo: 3:58pm On May 24, 2018
Sonoflord:
I should continuing enduring being a house maid for 3yrs from now while my mate are out there hustling building customer base.
bros no vex, if u already know wat to do, why did u come here?
u r very mad!
Re: My Emotions Is Hurting Me And I Don't Know What To Do, I Need Advice Please Nl by EzeDiEgo1: 4:19pm On May 24, 2018
pedrilo:
bros no vex, if u already know wat to do, why did u come here?
u r very mad!
you are so stupid

Had it been he replied to you the day he made this thread I would've say he is very mad.

people had advice early and he has made his decision but here you are insulting him for no reason
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