It's now a trending issue that the young men of nowadays are now so afraid of commitment in relationships and are shying away from settling down into marriages and starting families of their own. Most of the reasons given are about financial capabilities. This is largely untrue because there are other equally important factors such as emotional and psychological maturity. Although financial maturity is given the most prominent focus in our society. Here is to address the male perspective of individual wants from each partner pertaining to relationships, commitment and building a family together.
Men desire women that can give them these 3 vibes - mother vibes, friend vibes and daughter vibes, without actually demanding for it either verbally or otherwise. It's just a natural instinct that man men don't even know they possess or exhibit.
Firstly, the mother vibes. It's a natural arrangement, in most family settings, that the male child gets attached to his mother and the female child gets attached to the father. And most male children evolve into men having this natural love and the urge to make their mothers happy, having realised the worth and sacrifices involved with motherhood, most especially with how the society paints the picture. So when a man wants to settle down, he needs and desires someone who will try and take over the mother figure in his life without actually asking for it. In most cases, a young man makes the decision about who he wants to get married to when he sees a homely young woman that does most duties he must have seen his mother do while growing up. These duties include cooking good foods, taking good care of the home, scolding when necessary and with love and more importantly, showing care and support for whatever hustle he chooses. Afterall, behind every successful man, there's always a supportive and caring woman. A young woman that posseses most or all of these warms his way into a man's heart more easily because apart from just doing these things for the man, he's rest assured that the same woman will raise his family for him just the way he wants it and feels right. These are the motherly vibes that men expect of women without actually having to ask or beg for it.
The friend vibes. Just as we know, as a person evolves into adulthood, we lose more friends than we make new ones, especially when a man and a woman settle down to start raising a family together as the family automatically becomes the main priority of both partners. A man desires a woman that would come into his life and take over some of the duties of his friends. These duties include being there with and for him when he is partaking in his favorite sports, his favorite outings, his business and hustle and every other little things friends do for one another. When a female indulges in sports that are majorly for men, she's accorded respect, and this can be seen when a woman follows her man to watch a football match at a viewing center. Men desire women that would come into their lives and not take away all their favorite activities which they enjoy doing with their guys. Men are not afraid of cutting out on the number of friends they have, they just want to know that their new best friend, who they are planning to spend the rest of their lives with, can enjoy the same things they enjoy doing with their "boys".
The daughter vibes. Let it be known that as soon as a boy evolves into a man, he's bestowed with the knowledge that being a man comes with a lot of responsibilities. And the most important responsibility of a man is to provide for his family. This, he has to start by taking care of his girlfriend and probable future wife. No man is actually afraid to spend on his woman, once he knows that this woman actually belongs to him alone. Our society dictates that a boy has to start fending for himself at an early age which would bring the maturity to understand that he has to be able to provide for his future family too, which starts from taking care of his girlfriend. But nowadays, men don't want liabilities anymore. They want to give where they are receiving.
Relationships of every form are about giving and receiving. Most people don't want to continue giving where they are not receiving. Our current society is filled with the mentality that the only things most of our ladies can give in a relationship is sex and this is very true to a believable extent. Funny enough, the female folk are the ones that need a man to put a ring on it and change their marital status and surname, and that's just the plain undiluted truth. It actually takes more than sex to hold down a man forever. Sex is now so cheap that it can be gotten almost anywhere. This just means that guys are now looking out for more from the female folk before they take the big step of commitment and settling down to start a family. The young men of nowadays desire these 3 aforementioned vibes from the lady they are planning to marry without having to ask for it because they could see these attributes in their own mothers. It's highly likely that most of our young women nowadays are not being instilled with these values as part of their transition into womanhood anymore like the days of our own mothers, but these are values that can be learnt, practised and adopted over time. I am of the opinion that a woman needs a man's respect more than his love if she is ever going to enjoy any form of union with him. It's highly likely for a man to cheat on a woman he loves because he feels he can love many at a time but it's very unlikely for a man to cheat on a woman he respects because his ego is involved in this. These discussed values go a long way in securing a man's heart and ultimately his respect. I honestly hope this article addresses this issue to a reasonable extent and there can be a change in our mindset as we move forward in our love and relationship lives. Thanks for reading.
My name is Olaoluwa Oyeniran, a Philosopher and Public Speaker. Contact details are 08137451122. Email address: laolord4ever@yahoo.com

Nice

Tajbol4splend:
Guys arent shying away from marriage, they look to be because they dont have the resources to manage family, barely would you see rich guy intended not to marry

Don't mind the o.p

Mother vibe? Sister vibe?

Lemme reserve my comment. Those that will marry will do so.

without the Partriarchy marriage makes no sense.

what if you do all these and he still doesn't propose

Money is the issue. It answereth all things.

Nice article

Tajbol4splend:
Guys arent shying away from marriage, they look to be because they dont have the resources to manage family, barely would you see rich guy intended not to marry

that's not true and you can see from the rising number of guys that are rich but only want baby mamas because they don't see the need to get married since marriages are mainly for procreation and continuation of lineage and family name. Not all of this issue is about financial independence

NiggaBoi:
that's not true and you can see from the rising number of guys that are rich but only want baby mamas because they don't see the need to get married since marriages are mainly for procreation and continuation of lineage and family name. Not all of this issue is about financial independence

If you talking about celebrities, you are off the hood

Please the mods should give this piece more publicity Lalasticlala Seun Ishilove Tosyne2much

Tajbol4splend:




If you talking about celebrities, you are off the hood

Are celebrities the only rich people around? Even young men that are not rich and share the mindset of not getting married are increasing in number on a steady

NiggaBoi:
Are celebrities the only rich people around? Even young men that are not rich and share the mindset of not getting married are increasing in number on a steady

Majority of people with normal lives want to marry

NiggaBoi:
Are celebrities the only rich people around? Even young men that are not rich and share the mindset of not getting married are increasing in number on a steady

Like myself. I don't intend to marry, but i have baby mama. I'm not poor either.

Therefore i vote for your points.

Tajbol4splend:
Guys arent shying away from marriage, they look to be because they dont have the resources to manage family, barely would you see rich guy intended not to marry

that is not totally true.we have lots of young men with reasonable financial clout,who are not interested in getting married.marriage has lots its taste... baby mama ti take. over

Thank you guys for testifying to my claims.

lies, money is the only reason