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Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? - Family (10) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? (40669 Views)

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Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 3:04pm On Jul 05, 2018
jaxxy:


I dont subscribe to picking prostitutes it's a bad lifestyles I'd rather u got a gal or babymama, and ur kids u dont want them to eat ur money too? Besides not every gal is intrested in ur money look and who's independent then. U can find such
I also don't really like the idea of using prostitutes that is why I intend on just picking out one and sticking to that one and let our arrangement develop to friendship. I have done that before, it worked out well.

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by bukatyne(f): 3:07pm On Jul 05, 2018
crackhaus:
Eternal bachelorhood is becoming more popular in developed societies, not sure how you will fare in Nigeria though where it's a culture to make someone's private business everybody else's business.

Eventually you will get fed up with the side talk, back talk, spiritual talk, and just marry to silence it all. grin

Let's see how the eternal bachelors fare in 20 years time.

Serial monogamy is more sustainable than eternal bachelorhood except he is a baby daddy then it is another level.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by bukatyne(f): 3:11pm On Jul 05, 2018
marttol:
SNOOPDOG

BABA AJA

Anyways, make una laff small

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cheesy

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2 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Windflower(f): 3:27pm On Jul 05, 2018
m784n:
why put good woman first ?
Lol
Cos a good woman will make a good home
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by dankol: 3:40pm On Jul 05, 2018
hmm... I strongly share the op sentiment. the Truth is... people like him..me are being realistic.. we don't hide under uncertainty. I saw where someone wrote.. he is scared of taking responsibility.. no.. that's not it.. on the contrary.. he is being responsible for himself and avoid being irresponsible as the issues pile up. Marriage does not guarantee that you won't be lonely. I have seen several married folks lonely.. so live your fantasy marriage and let us.live ours too.. my only issue is.. I don't know how to break it to my parents that marriage is not in my dictionary.. it would be hell that day when they find out.. hahahahahaha
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by greatman247(m): 4:35pm On Jul 05, 2018
Acidosis:



I don't even know where to start. Well it's all about our belief systems. In my own world, babymama is not better than marriage, but that's my own view and I'm sticking to it. Sleeping with random girls and paying them off can never be right in my book.

Yes, people have been staying unmarried for decades (we have reverend fathers and nuns), and most of them are fine like that because they're never lonely. In fact, many of them get paid for doing next to nothing, live on church funds, donations, etc but these ones have sworn to abstain from sex and any form of romance.

Advising people to sleep around and pay for sex is very very immoral even in those countries you call advanced. They're not all morally bankrupt. Just so you know, there are more sex workers in Nigeria than most of these advanced countries and it is actually easier to get random sex in Nigeria.


You cant say been married is way more better. If marriage is way more better how come 90% of married people are unhappy and experiencing various trouble, distrust, divorce and break up. Pls do your research or take a break and visit Nigerian court, and you will see a lot divorce cases. Never, if one decides to stay single you can either get random girls and embrace the pay as you go and flex your life and have peace of mind, love must not be involve and you must not live together, just fun and satisfaction. Or you have a steady girl friend, here love can be attached to this kind of relationship but it must not lead to engagement or marriage I.e. if you want to stay single and still not engage in immorality, and that way you still have peace of mind. You guys can decide to either live together or not to live together.

What you like you don't expect others to like it. Everyone must have opinions. What you call immorality is enjoyable by others. Who told you, married people don't engage in immorality? A lot of married people cheats and irresponsible and sometimes, its a mutual thing between the married couple in some other instances. I have seen some couple engage in party or foursome with other partners. I have also seen others engage in orgy, I have seen married couple cheat on each others. All those are also immoralities and its found in marriages. A man can allow his wife to Bleep with another man and another woman can watch while the husband make love to another woman and still they stay married. What do you call that also? Lol.

It depends on what you want. Immorality abound everywhere, not just when you're single and free. It also depend on your person and what you seek.

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Acidosis(m): 5:03pm On Jul 05, 2018
greatman247:



You cant say been married is way more better. If wedding is way more better how come 90% of married people are unhappy and experiencing various trouble, distrust, divorce and break up. Pls do your research or take a break and visit court, and you will see a lot divorce cases. Never, if one decides to stay single you can either get random girls and embrace the pay as you go and flex your life and have peace of mind, love must not be involve, just fun and satisfaction. Or you have a steady girl friend, here love can be attached to this kind of relationship but it must not lead to engagement or marriage, and that way you still have peace of mind. You guys can decide to either live together or not to live together.

What you like you don't expect others to like it. Everyone must have opinions. What you call immorality is enjoyable by other. Who told you, married people don't engage in immorality? Some married people cheats and its a mutual thing between the married couple in some other instances. I have seen some couple engage in party or foursome. I have also seen others engage in orgy, I have seen married couple cheat on each others. All those are also immoralities and its found in marriages. A man can allow his wife to Bleep with another man and another woman can watch while the husband make love to another woman and still they stay married. What do you call that also? Lol.

It depends on what you want. Immorality abound everywhere, not just when you're single and free. It also depend on your person and what you seek.

One thing about we (humans) is that we are selective hypocrites. I'm sure you have at one point or the other speak against Fulani herdsmen for loving their animals more than fellow human beings. I'm sure you have, at one point or the other, condemned young girls for embracing prostitution, I'm also sure you must have condemned children for hawking on the streets. We forget that not everyone is cut out for school runs, yet you and I sit and watch the government force the 6-3-3-4 system on us.
Why can't a child start business from childhood, if we are all free to do as we desire?

How did you know it was right to go to school if following the norm was that bad? Were you enrolled in a school or was it your utmost choice to attend? You saw the need to attend because others were doing it, right?

Here is my summary, as much as we are all entitled to our personal opinions, the world system would continue to be governed by ethics, traditions, morals, forces, written and unwritten laws. It applies to all countries, developed or not. If USA is as free as you were made to believe, you and I wouldn't need a US visa, a work permit, a green card.

Mind you, I don't expect everyone to like or appreciate the institution called marriage. In fact, my initial post wasn't tied to his choice to stay unmarried, but nature has given us some unavoidable and inescapable feelings which is why I highlighted those points. Don't always listen to the one-sided views of divorcees. Secretly many of them desire to be married again, to a good man/woman as the case may be.

Whether my opinion counts or not, it doesn't matter. Nature will speak for itself in due time.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by newjosboy: 5:19pm On Jul 05, 2018
mhd5757:
Hey nairalanders, what do you think? Is this normal? Marriage doesn't appeal to me at all same as having kids, I prefer having dogs even now i have 2 of them and as soon as I get a job and make enough money I plan on getting 3 more making them 5 in number. I know most people, the first thing they want to do as soon as they get a job is to get married and have kids but not me, I'm also not interested in having a girlfriend, though I used to have one back then when I was in the university but we were forced to leave each other being that she had to go back to her country and I had to come back to Nigeria.
After that I got another girl here in Nigeria, but I had to leave her because she was too expensive and she was draining me financially. After that, I just lost interest in relationships and I decided to be single, I decided that even if I feel the need to lay with a woman I can just go to an ashawo hotel or get a steady woman who I can be calling any time I need company. I think this is the lifestyle that suits me especially in this harsh economy, its easier for me. If I get married and have kids imagine all the money I'm going to have to be spending, excess groceries, all kinds of bills, school fees and the list goes on.
At least having a steady woman to call like maybe once a week can't be as expensive as getting married and supporting a wife.
Also having dogs can't be as expensive as raising kids, with dogs all I need to do is to buy their feed, their grooming products and pay for their medical bills and probably training fees too but with kids and a wife imagine all the bills, the lists keep compiling and they never end.
What is your take on this? What do you think?

If you have a lady that you would be inviting once week, you will still pay her transport, pay for refreshments, and pay for service she renders and still pay her for some unforseen needs she might pop once in a while, invariably, you are still spending. Something you mentioned you are running away from. Why not just stick to masturbation. Shi shi you won't spend I swear!

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by mmsen: 5:21pm On Jul 05, 2018
TEYA:

No one said he should give birth to "multiple poorly clothed" kids. He should also caster for them!

If he doesn't want children why are you trying to pressure him into having them?

Does Nigeria need more reluctant, unprepared parents?

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Rejoice5000(f): 6:15pm On Jul 05, 2018
Rubyventures:


That is the prayer of most third world country parents, no one can see into the future and children are entitled to live their own lives. Don't jinx fate there are no guarantees in life.
If i can wear cheap cloths,deny my comfort jst to set the child to a good standard why won't dat child look after me.forget third world parents na grammer bi dat.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by greatman247(m): 6:26pm On Jul 05, 2018
Acidosis:


One thing about we (humans) is that we are selective hypocrites. I'm sure you have at one point or the other speak against Fulani herdsmen for loving their animals more than fellow human beings. I'm sure you have, at one point or the other, condemned young girls for embracing prostitution, I'm also sure you must have condemned children for hawking on the streets. We forget that not everyone is cut out for school runs, yet you and I sit and watch the government force the 6-3-3-4 system on us.
Why can't a child start business from childhood, if we are all free to do as we desire?

How did you know it was right to go to school if following the norm was that bad? Were you enrolled in a school or was it your utmost choice to attend? You saw the need to attend because others were doing it, right?

Here is my summary, as much as we are all entitled to our personal opinions, the world system would continue to be governed by ethics, traditions, morals, forces, written and unwritten laws. It applies to all countries, developed or not. If USA is as free as you were made to believe, you and I wouldn't need a US visa, a work permit, a green card.

Mind you, I don't expect everyone to like or appreciate the institution called marriage. In fact, my initial post wasn't tied to his choice to stay unmarried, but nature has given us some unavoidable and inescapable feelings which is why I highlighted those points. Don't always listen to the one-sided views of divorcees. Secretly many of them desire to be married again, to a good man/woman as the case may be.

Whether my opinion counts or not, it doesn't matter. Nature will speak for itself in due time.

Majorly, to get freedom you have to seek it. don't expect govt to do everything for you especially in a country like Nigeria. I have been hustling from childhood. Breaking free from my pastors and my parent who caged me from childhood. And I made it eventually. So the question of freedom really rest on the followers more than the leaders. Leaders might not do anything about your issues if you continue to keep quiet. In other countries like USA and Egypt when things don't go the right way for citizens, they storm the street in protest but in Nigeria people stay put and expect God to come down and change their situations. Of course development will continue to elude you. Since the leaders have secured their lives and those of their families for generations to come they don't care about you the followers.

Yes nature will speak for itself in due time. A visitor's inability to get US Visa, or greencard is not the fault of the country. USA is free mostly their policies is America first, don't give a damn about visitors except you are an investor and not Muslim. But the country is so free to their citizens that's why they have high crime rates. But Nigeria is not free to visitors and citizen. That makes Nigeria a zoo. A country full of bad leaders and followers alike. Citizens are mostly hypocrites.

When I was infant, I had no choice to know if Education was right for me or not. But I started having my own mind when I was 10 years. I was born into Deeper Life, and stood my ground against my dad's wish to enforce the church into all of his children. I told him I will stop attending and I did at age 10 and he let me be. No one can cow me into what I don't want to do. I don't condemn ladies that prostitute cos I'm not hypocrite. I believe they are hustling and I Bleep different girls and I do also believe, most acclaimed decent or innocent girl friends or married women or single that have more than one boy friends or Bleep more than one dick that claim innocent are all prostitutes. I don't care how anyone sees it. The only different between them and professional prostitute is the fact that they lied about their real personality and professional prostitutes speak the truth and come clean. So you don't know me. I'm not hypocrite, if I am I will not have speak against marriage and bad sides of marriage as a union.

And what you term immorality is not in the sight of God and in some men face. Let's just leave that side.

I have been able to make you see the immorality you speak about in single and free people also exist in marriage that you supported. That's my point. Another man's meal is another man's poison, so don't say marriage is best cos it has a lot of bad. Many people in marriages are sad, and many in marriages hide their real identities I.e. they speak about prostitution and then engage in it privately. Some married women still have boy friends servicing them behind their husbands and many married men also Bleep random ladies and pay them. My own is if you are married and claim marriage is good don't exhibit the bad side of marriage. Don't double date, don't abuse your wife, don't beat your wife, follow all what your bible says about marriage, don't Bleep another pussy except that of your wife, don't slide into other single ladies DM. Most Nigerians are fucking hypocrites. That's my points.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by TEYA: 6:31pm On Jul 05, 2018
mmsen:


If he doesn't want children why are you trying to pressure him into having them?

Does Nigeria need more reluctant, unprepared parents?
Lol If he is sure he does not need a child, it is his life, but since he brought it to a public forum, he is bound to get my opinion!
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Talkwell: 6:33pm On Jul 05, 2018
BuddhaPalm:


Hehehe...
You’re kinda “normal” actually.
There are TONS of people exactly like you.
There’s even a movement called “Men Going Their Own Way”.
Here’s a community of people just like you: www.reddit.com/r/mgtow/
Just be mindful of the more toxic comments.
Never thought someone would mention this subreddit. grin
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by SpencerM(m): 7:49pm On Jul 05, 2018
mhd5757:
Hey nairalanders, what do you think? Is this normal? Marriage doesn't appeal to me at all same as having kids, I prefer having dogs even now i have 2 of them and as soon as I get a job and make enough money I plan on getting 3 more making them 5 in number. I know most people, the first thing they want to do as soon as they get a job is to get married and have kids but not me, I'm also not interested in having a girlfriend, though I used to have one back then when I was in the university but we were forced to leave each other being that she had to go back to her country and I had to come back to Nigeria.
After that I got another girl here in Nigeria, but I had to leave her because she was too expensive and she was draining me financially. After that, I just lost interest in relationships and I decided to be single, I decided that even if I feel the need to lay with a woman I can just go to an ashawo hotel or get a steady woman who I can be calling any time I need company. I think this is the lifestyle that suits me especially in this harsh economy, its easier for me. If I get married and have kids imagine all the money I'm going to have to be spending, excess groceries, all kinds of bills, school fees and the list goes on.
At least having a steady woman to call like maybe once a week can't be as expensive as getting married and supporting a wife.
Also having dogs can't be as expensive as raising kids, with dogs all I need to do is to buy their feed, their grooming products and pay for their medical bills and probably training fees too but with kids and a wife imagine all the bills, the lists keep compiling and they never end.
What is your take on this? What do you think?

trust mi your not alone..pls wats specie of dog is best, plan on getting one too..Single life pays(Personal belief)
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 8:22pm On Jul 05, 2018
SpencerM:


trust mi your not alone..pls wats specie of dog is best, plan on getting one too..Single life pays(Personal belief)
Depends on what you are looking for, me, I like keeping them not just as pets but also security so I prefer dogs like Rottweiler, Pitbull and GSD but the GSD is a bit soft in security unless if you are lucky to get one that is vicious like the one that i have now but I still like them anyway because of their appearance.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 8:25pm On Jul 05, 2018
newjosboy:


If you have a lady that you would be inviting once week, you will still pay her transport, pay for refreshments, and pay for service she renders and still pay her for some unforseen needs she might pop once in a while, invariably, you are still spending. Something you mentioned you are running away from. Why not just stick to masturbation. Shi shi you won't spend I swear!
I will spend but it will not be as much as if I have a family, that one is small thing I can live with it.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by agrovick(m): 9:01pm On Jul 05, 2018
Mein Nigger
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Rhea(f): 11:37pm On Jul 05, 2018
themodernman:


Gosh have you seen a dog mounted by a man's "juicy nuts" b4?

Ashewo kobokobo!

You mean ya nuts grin grin cheesy cheesy
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by sweetilicious(f): 11:41pm On Jul 05, 2018
aaronson:
You normal bro.

Marriage is only a social construct. Love is series of chemical reactions in the brain that compels human to breed. Marriage is just the platform that enables both love and breeding seem moral or legal, Man made this up! No consequences if you breed or love outside of marriage, it's only a personal choice. The only down side of it is you would need somebody to keep you company when you aging. Loneliness causes depression and at that point money would seem irrelevant so, what's the point of having lots of money if one lives a miserable life of solitude? This results to suicide sometimes.

I, typing this is guilty of being introvert and solitude but the internet is my play ground. Trust me, I'm worst because I shut down my Facebook page so nobody I know reaches out to me. Back to your decision.

It's not a bad thing after all, I think the same as you sometimes as well and other times I think otherwise. Reason being, Kids gives people new meaning to live for especially when you married.
Alike
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 12:04am On Jul 06, 2018
sweetilicious:
Alike
My case is different lol, Bet if you allow me, I would prove to you.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by themodernman: 1:27am On Jul 06, 2018
Rhea:


You mean ya nuts grin grin cheesy cheesy

Yeah my nuts working you out like the gif in your profile wink
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 2:34am On Jul 06, 2018
mhd5757:

I will spend but it will not be as much as if I have a family, that one is small thing I can live with it.

Bro sincerely speaking as a guy in his very 30's who has been both married and single. I can tell u marriage is a scam and overly overrated in this part of the world. To put the icing on the cake: in this Buhari economy and the poisoned brain of naija girls with a bad sense of entitlement That social media has ruined. who's motto is: " if u no get money hide ur face? Are you ready to deal with nosey and entitled in-laws? Are you ready to spike your blood pressure?

95percent of married naija men are soar and bitter and very unhappy but they won't tell you what they face but still encourage you to marry. They remain in those marriages out of fear of becoming a divorcee and how society will rate and laugh at them. Divorce in Nigeria is synonimous to the mark of Cain. So they fake it and add a smile to potray responsibility to a society that doesn't care if you drop dead tomorrow. They have mad beef for single dudes.

If a naija woman see you finish ur doomed. It's far better to work in another city and visit twice a month then the marriage would be renewed like the mornings. But staying morning to night with naija wife hahahah. Omo e no easy o. The way our women are wired now are so so different from our mothers.

I am not anti marriage but the issue is Nigerian Marriages may kill you. It is usually not based on love but selfish intentions. Don't be happy if u propose and she agrees o. You may just be her meal ticket or her 3rd choice(1st and 2nd no wan marry am but they want fuc*k) she settles for you to remove the shame of being over 26 and unmarried grin

See my guy, naija marriage na involvement. Don't think of marrying or bringing kids into this world if you don't have a very stable income of 500k per month and above pls!

Try and travel to some exotic African countries or Europe. You may meet that special woman who will melt ur heart and be loyal to you forever! Try Kenya or Rwanda or Botswana. But NAIJA babe?? Baba better train those dogs. They are better off! cheesy

3 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Ziggylady(f): 11:42am On Jul 06, 2018
soberdrunk:
Oh my!! What a pity!! These sisters of the marine kingdom can be very wicked sha!!! See how they have taken this young man and locked him inside "TRANSPARENT GROUNDNUT BOTTLE" and even put cushion inside so that the young man will be extremely comfortable inside......... angry



Lmao!!.... cheesy cheesy..
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Biglittlelois(f): 1:31pm On Jul 06, 2018
Austema:
I like you signature, is a great inspiration


Thanks smiley
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by crackhaus: 2:18pm On Jul 06, 2018
bukatyne:


Let's see how the eternal bachelors fare in 20 years time.

Serial monogamy is more sustainable than eternal bachelorhood except he is a baby daddy then it is another level.

What's the difference between the two?
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 3:35pm On Jul 06, 2018
davillian:

When you start making money all these you just typed will change .
Deciding not to get married or have kids is fine but your reasons for such decision is just childish .
When I start getting money and become rich, I would rather use it to open up a kennel rather than get married.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by davillian(m): 3:43pm On Jul 06, 2018
mhd5757:

When I start getting money and become rich, I would rather use it to open up a kennel rather than get married.
This same boy that doesn't want a family but dogs as life partners cheesy cheesy cheesy.
We go tie you like ram and take you to tb Joshua for deliverance
The dog spirit must come out
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by ladygudhead(f): 3:44pm On Jul 06, 2018
Rubbiish:

The bold is quite laughable...Haven't u seen parents killed by their children sir?
You haven't killed your parents yet or have you?
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Rubbiish(m): 6:00pm On Jul 06, 2018
ladygudhead:
You haven't killed your parents yet or have you?
Lol...u are funny
But u have read stories of children who killed their parents?
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by ladygudhead(f): 6:14pm On Jul 06, 2018
Rubbiish:

Lol...u are funny
But u have read stories of children who killed their parents?
The joke is on you dear.And i have answered your question sir.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Rubbiish(m): 6:16pm On Jul 06, 2018
ladygudhead:
The joke is on you dear.And i have answered your question sir.
U haven't answered my question ma'am...
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by ladygudhead(f): 6:25pm On Jul 06, 2018
Rubbiish:

U haven't answered my question ma'am...
guy i don't have ba3 n am too strong to type.Thanks love! mmuaah!

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