Is it normal that no one has ever gifted me anything on special occasions? I'm talking about Valentine, birthday and Christmas. I am 29, and since I became anything close to an adult, I've never had anyone care for me enough to show me love on these special days. Not from family, not from friends.

I am currently not dating and things are really rough for me right now, but I've gifted people in the past. I know some members here will say I'm feeling entitled to the outcome of other people's efforts, but that's really not the point. I just want to experience love and feel loved no matter how small. I can't ask for much.

Having people gift you things is a big flex. I'm not even talking about people coming through for one when one needs help because that one na long story.

So, guys, is this normal? Is it very much normal that feel unloved over this? I'm really over thinking it for sure, but I can't help it.

Olodo24:
Is it normal that no one has ever gifted me anything on special occasions? I'm talking about Valentine, birthday and Christmas. I am 29, and since I became anything close to an adult, I've never had anyone care for me enough to show me love on these special days. Not from family, not from friends. I am currently not dating and things are really rough for me right now, but I've gifted people in the past. I know some members here will say I'm feeling entitled to the outcome of other people's efforts, but that's really not the point. I just want to experience love and feel loved no matter how small. I can't ask for much. Having people gift you things is a big flex. I'm not even talking about people coming through for one when one needs help because that one na long story. So, guys, is this normal? Is it very much normal that feel unloved over this? I'm really over thinking it for sure, but I can't help it.

Do you at least give presents to others? Or you expect them to give you first before you give to them?

It is quite normal to not receive particularly when it is not the native culture and when you have not invested in making yourself a giver to those around you, to maybe encourage them to give as well.

Its normal for black men from africa to not have received gifts

Remember the parable of the sower? Give like that, however bad it may be, at least one would germinate and someone will reciprocate the gesture.

One important factor is changing of environment. When it comes to people, please don't settle for less. I'm grateful I have been able to change my immediate environment like 3 to 4 times in the past 3 years against all odds. Trust me, some set of people will appreciate you more, especially if you are not a bad person.

Same with me , I don't even celebrate my birthday, I just see my birthday as a normal day, I hate Christmas and everything that has to do with this pagan festival

You just want to get that feeling of receiving gift from someone. Buy a gift, something you would like, package it well then keep it till it's your special day then give it to any random person to give it to you as a gift from him to you.

ikeno:
You just want to get that feeling of receiving gift from someone. Buy a gift, something you would like, package it well then keep it till it's your special day then give it to any random person to give it to you as a gift from him to you.

I don't think that's a good thing to do. Anybody that wants to gift me anything should buy it with his money.

Kobojunkie:
Do you at least give presents to others? Or you expect them to give you first before you give to them?

It is quite normal to not receive particularly when it is not the native culture and when you have not invested in making yourself a giver to those around you, to maybe encourage them to give as well.

I have given to people several times in the past. But it seems no one cares when it comes to me

tensazangetsu20:
Its normal for black men from africa to not have received gifts

Very correct.

tensazangetsu20:
Its normal for black men from africa to not have received gifts

You are brutal man. Brutal honesty!

This life is rigged for the average black African male.

I have received gifts from family, but not from friends because I don't maintain friendship. One silent act no one talks about is the habit of gifting those who don't need it or already have.

I bet you're still broke and it's the reason no one is gifting you. If you become rich today, you will see so many 'eye service' people queuing up to present you with gifts that you don't need.

Yes. It is normal, when your perception of a gift is limited to a package item with fine gift wrappings.

Gerrard59:
You are brutal man. Brutal honesty!

This life is rigged for the average black African male.

Really? Smh.


What even in his comment is "brutally honest" or "life nugget-y?"

Today, guys are saying they're men and they don't care and don't want stuff deemed too 'estrogen-y' and 'feminine', tomorrow they're having a problem with the standards they've created and cosplaying ✨ oppression ✨, instead of addressing the source.

I think I have even seen some of your comments sometimes agreeing with Pan that "men create the society, and women integrate into it". So how has men's general noncommittal attitude to celebratory things like birthday/event wishes, getting birthday cakes and gifts, doing photo shoots, coming to a surprise birthday bash and all that something "life" rigged? As if it was out of their control?

Let us remove women. Why do men not gift one another as well?

Magnoliaa:


Really? Smh.

What even in his comment is "brutally honest" or "life nugget-y?"

Today, guys are saying they're men and they don't care and don't want stuff deemed too 'estrogen-y' and 'feminine', tomorrow they're having a problem with the standards they've created and cosplaying ✨ oppression ✨, instead of addressing the source.

Let's just say the average human being is a hypocrite.

Let us remove women. Why do men not gift one another as well?

In my experience, physical gifts aren't what men exchange amongst themselves, but assistance in the form of interest-free loan, connections etc. That is how I see gifting a fellow man. That said too, men if they can afford it buy items for their male friends who have been of immense help/assistance to them. I wager that men gift fellow men watches on certain occasions.

tensazangetsu20:
Its normal for black men from africa to not have received gifts

And is this a good or bad thing?


I mean, they are African men. Why should this matter? Why do they want stuff that their emasculated counterparts in non-African states get from women who have a very high sense of equality and autonomy, and even the equal financial capability that affords them to get thoughtful, unique, and exquisite gifts for a man?

I would think not getting gifts should be a manly thing, given all the other arbitrarily decided standards of masculinity.

Gerrard59:
In my experience, physical gifts aren't what men exchange amongst themselves, but assistance in the form of interest-free loan, connections etc. That is how I see gifting a fellow man. That said too, men if they can afford it buy items for their male friends who have been of immense help/assistance to them. I wager that men gift fellow men watches on certain occasions.

Good then.

Let's hope the rest of the opinions this discussion will generate, if it hopefully will, will tow this line of multiple reasons, and not one wrongly focused on gender.


Whether it's the definition of 'gifting' that's the problem here, or it's simply due to culture or economic states, or just individual proclivities. Some people, men or women, just don't think in that manner. It's never occurred to them to be that kind of person.

I haven't received any gifts yet on these occasions too but I count it all blessings to able to gifts to others because I know one day someone special will appreciate me

You must be wicked, stingy human being who is looking forward to receive but never thought of giving to your fellow human being.

It yourself the gift then

Yes. its normal if you don't celebrate things and you have small circle of friends who don't have much either

I have never experienced such in my life. I don't give and I don't expect.

Kobojunkie:
Do you at least give presents to others? Or you expect them to give you first before you give to them?

It is quite normal to not receive particularly when it is not the native culture and when you have not invested in making yourself a giver to those around you, to maybe encourage them to give as well.

You clearly read he has given gift to people in the past

Yh

Olodo24:
Is it normal that no one has ever gifted me anything on special occasions? I'm talking about Valentine, birthday and Christmas. I am 29, and since I became anything close to an adult, I've never had anyone care for me enough to show me love on these special days. Not from family, not from friends.

I am currently not dating and things are really rough for me right now, but I've gifted people in the past. I know some members here will say I'm feeling entitled to the outcome of other people's efforts, but that's really not the point. I just want to experience love and feel loved no matter how small. I can't ask for much.

Having people gift you things is a big flex. I'm not even talking about people coming through for one when one needs help because that one na long story.

So, guys, is this normal? Is it very much normal that feel unloved over this? I'm really over thinking it for sure, but I can't help it.

It's spiritual

Ok

Are you an introvert?

Lolz... you're not the only one in this. Only 1 person gifted me money since the past 2 years while I've gifted about 20 - 30 people over the same period of time. I thought of this recently as majority of people remember to call me or chat me up (remember that I still exists) only when they need financial assistance from me. I think a lot of people prefer to receive from others while they find it hard (feel reluctant) to give from the little or much that they have.

Olodo24:
I have given to people several times in the past. But it seems no one cares when it comes to me

It is strange.

Perhaps you are not yet in love and have not given any gift to anyone to deserve same in return.....
I will give you one gift on Xmas day....pls do remind me