HEseesall:



Thanks, i am thinking of telling our pastor, i dont want to tell my family cos they may antagonise him, thanks for your imput

Let them all know o and let him be aware they all know about it in case he wants to try another stunt in the future, those people can calm his nerves down. Pls consider using Mr and Mrs but if at all you concluded on making him the sole owner, let my people be aware of it, as many as possible sef

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

am sorry to say this, but I must.

if u change it to his name, that will be the end of ur marriage, u will lose everything, I mean everything.

At worse, change it to Mr & Mrs

NB: That your husband doesn't love you, stop deceiving yourself. You are free to ignore this, but its the truth. Once his name gets on the property document, second wife or sugar girl (away match loading)

HEseesall:



I am not a blogger who wants traffic, you can choose not to believe if you want, i just need advice and other options,

For the sake of your love for him, it's good youu change it to both of your names but honestly he doesn't deserve it

Most Often, I get angry when people come to talk trash on the topic they are ignorant of . How will a woman who is married to a man she loves do something and keep it secret to her husband? This is betrayal of trust. If the marriage is blessed with children , then why conceal a secret to a man you love . I advice that the documents should bear both names as in mr and mrs xxxx and that will cause no problem. Those suggesting that she should not change it to bear both names are misleading the woman and such advice could be catastrophic.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

.

If you agree to change the name on the documents for whatever reason, make SURE that you put both of your names on it.
Do not write Mr & Mrs ......., write your full names separately on it or better still, consult a lawyer.

Acidosis:


Same thing I have been saying.


The OP needs to apologize to her man asap.

Most of the comments on the first page will destroy her home.

Yes sir and that was why i mentioned that previously. The woman in question was first of all at fault here. Putting her name as the sole owner of the property without the consent of the husband on a property jointly built by both parties is fraud to me. That was what further angered the man even though his choice of words were wrong. But sincerely, this woman messed up big time.

So f it was in his name he would have kicked you out ? that is exactly why he wants you to change it to his name so that any disagreement he will tell you to pack out ! First things first - if my husband throws my load out that’s the end of the marriage ! It’s the height of disrespect to treat your wife like she means nothing - but since you are not hotheaded like me - lol , I still think you should NEVER change the name to his name or even joint ownership! He has already shown you what he is capable of if the house belongs to him ! Behavior like what he displayed should be nipped in the bud very quickly ! It will be a gross miscalculation for you to reward his behavior- he will only get worse ! Do not beg him since you didn’t send him out in the first place ! If he doesn’t want to leave be in a house with your name then you guys can go and rent somewhere while you put up your house for rent and use the money for the family till he gets another deal to build his own house . , Just be patient and stick to your guns - u guys need to renegotiate the terms of engagement of your marriage - for someone who throws tantrums like this I wonder what else he would have put you through! Be strong ! I hope it works out !

Your husband is greedy and self-centered, he can kick you out and replace you easily with this mindset.

HEseesall:



When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, at least i compromised for jointly,

Graxie:
My dear tell your family, what do you mean by they will antagonize him? What if he has succeeded in chasing you out? Won't your family know? Do you want to die in silent? Please before pastor, first tell your papa and mama. Meanwhile, if this narration is true, count your loses, you are a single mom. He feels betrayed, he knows he doesn't have upper hand to humiliate you that's why he took transfer. Move on, such men are chauvinist, they don't care!!!

You are obviously single and at best with a casual boy friend who you may drop and pick up another at will. Therefore you lack the experience yourself to advise a married woman ( with children) who is seeking how to put her marriage back in shape. Until such a time you are able to attract a responsible man to marry you, don't offer such an infantile advise to a married woman again.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

You're married to a very greedy man.

If he refuses to back down, you may agree to a joint ownership. But don't make the mistake of signing over that house to him, you have to look out for your kids' welfare!

That being said, if you had bought the land in both of your names, initially, all this wahala would have been avoided. You did what you did in bad faith, but he has now proved you right by trying to throw you out and also insisting on sole ownership. Your assessment of his character was quite accurate, you were trying to secure yourself from day one. I wonder why people get married who don't actually trust each other from the beginning

HEseesall:



Thanks, i am thinking of telling our pastor, i dont want to tell my family cos they may antagonise him, thanks for your imput

Sense fall on u
Ur Pastor is not God & faces his own home problem but won't tell u
Most pastors are not in control of their home u people should follow with sense
Ur parents are the God u see, honor them so that ur days will be long
Tell ur parents what ur passing through & the advice they give u is the best not a pastor who have his own interest at hand

sacramento1212:


Yes sir and that was why i mentioned that previously. The woman in question was first of all at fault here. Putting her name as the sole owner of the property without the consent of the husband on a property jointly built by both parties is fraud to me. That was what further angered the man even though his choice of words were wrong. But sincerely, this woman messed up big time.

the property was built with her money - read the article well ! He used his own money for his mother ! If he had built the house he would have put it in his own name so he can send her packing anytime - so why should she put his name on what she used her money to build ?

dafemnet:
Wives be submissive to ur husbands and husbands love ur wives so they can both live in peace. A woman that can't be submissive to her husband should leave the husband and stay single afterall there are so many single women in their 40s,50s,60s etc

Why say the woman should stay single, ? Because of what? Is her ex husband the only man in the world?

Some of you won't come down from the clouds and realise men abound plentifully on this earth and a woman can always make her choice from the pick of men, or she can CHOOSE to remain single.

HEseesall:



Thanks, i am thinking of telling our pastor, i dont want to tell my family cos they may antagonise him, thanks for your imput

As a reminder, do not write MR and MRS, it's not recognized under the law. Write your full names separately and include "and" in between the names .
Make further enquiries from at least two lawyers

You did the wise thing from the start. Never ever change it. Else you WILL be thrown out eventually.

At least if you lose your husband you still got a place for you and your kids.


I'm sure it's in naija this nonsense is happening

U are a very smart woman, u've just outsmarted ur husband...he uses his own share for his parents and u used yours to build a house with ur name on d property..does he think u don't have parents too who u can dash money? What gave him d impression of spending his money on his parents and coming bk to urs? bcuz u're a woman? Had it been the name on d property is his, by now u might ave been with ur parents or on the street with kids. Well, my only advice is for you to tell ur dad about it, dnt let ur mum knows though b4 d issue will escalate and let him talk to ur husband about agreeing to change it to Mr & Mrs...that's the final solution and don't forget he's still the man of the house after evrythn has been settled...#peaceout

this lady just outsmarted the guy..the guy dull....how is he not aware albinitio that you put your name on the document!?....I have no advice for you....may the force be with you!!!

Bleep off all haters don't listen to any rubbish comment here what a Bleep!!!!!!!! aaaaah we did business you use your own spend for family and i use mind stick to plan now you want me to leave lie lie, but before i say anything which kind of business both of you did that you use yours build house

Just incase you decide to go for Mr & Mrs lagbaja option, know that there are a thousand and one Mrs lagbaja!... You can talk to anybody, but never talk to religious leaders. Your parents should be your shoulder right now!

Nigerian men! Double Tueh!!!

I am holding myself but seriously u are a big fool for even considering giving him what he wants, if I were ur father i would disown u immediately.

HEseesall:



The property only is in my name but we built it together

@ pataricatering you should be the one to read very well.

U never mention d kinda of disagreement u both had. As par d house, change d ownership to ur wards'name. Or ain't them d sole heir to all u both acquired? Lobatan!

Left for me I won't even share, if he has the guts to ask me to leave the house, for whatever reason, then it means am expandable to him. The problem is not the house being in ur name, its about his asking you to leave over what ever issue s u guys have.
Don't ever include his name and u better take those documents away a from the house.
Remember he asked you to leave before finding out the house is urs, count your teeth well.which means he's done, don't beg him, if he wants his home, he knows the way, if he doesn't, good riddance
Paraventure they finally convinced you to add his name, pls note, its no longer Mr and Mrs, nah, its john and titilayo

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

From what you wrote there you guys had misunderstanding not because of property na. Or am I the one mistaken?

@OP
To be honest with you,you are a good woman and a loving wife!
For the fact that you were even considering changing ur name to his on a property that you own is enough testament to your kindness and love for him!

However,I don't expect you to make him a sole owner by replacing your name with his!
If he could send you packing due to a disagreement btw both of you,imagine what he might do in future!

Just like what others have said,make it a joint ownership and if he refuses,he can take a walk with his stupid pride!

The begging is enough!
You can't keep begging some one who can't reason with you...!
Don't let him guilt trip you.....
Stand your ground during this period and like someone suggested,involve your parents esp your father....at this stage,you don't need to keep anything from him.....he will advise you on what to do!



I wish you well in your marriage!

iamkeyz:

Why should he build his own house?
Can't men live in a house built by women?

The man clearly has issues with living in a house in his wife's name. so the simple thing to do is build a house in his own name. then he can kick his wife out , at which point she will hrug and move into her own house.

too many guys want to play old school african man without putting in the work.

you want to be the big boss,then build your own effing house

sacramento1212:


That’s the very 1st mistake the woman made. She secured the land in her name and this same house according to her was jointly built by both parties. The man knowing the property was in her name felt betrayed and she, the woman further told the man this that it’s her property.

Thank you. Some persons are validating her without hearing the husband part of the story... Even if they agreed to build the house togeda, and circumstance made the man to spend his own part in hospital, that shouldn't make her register the house in her own name, Not even mr n Mrs... Can you imagine that? She is just telling you that you have used ur money in hospital, hence you are not part of the house ownership.

If you change the name on the property just know this man will chase you out of your own house eventually ! As someone said before he is a manipulator- he requested posting ! I’m so sure he did not request any posting - he just said it to threaten you ! Don’t fall for it ! I’m just so pissed at your predicament!

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

I wonder the type of a woman you are...

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

1st off hes not a good man, unless theres smtn ure not telling us. A man who asks u to leave his house due to an argument has issues or u hv bigger issues. In anycase the best that can happen is to put the house under a joint name. If he can't accept dat, let him go where ever he wants. If he loves u and the family he will have a rethink. Even if he leaves he still has to play his part as a father so it can't be up to u alone to takecare of them.

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

Better don't put only his name o. That man doesn't have good plans for you. The moment he sees his name on the papers your own don finish be that. Don't listen to those who will tell you to be submissive o. After you get chased out , it is still them that will say serves you right slay queen, she married him for the money and big house they will not consider that the house is yours in the first place. They will not give you one room in their house. Be wise. Let him fly to the moon if he wants. Please be safe. Such a man can kill.

The truth is that your husband will never forget the truth. Dont ever get sentimental about this or else one day you will find yourself and your kids sleeping outside.

Please appeal to him as much as you can but dont ever try changing the name. Humans will always be humans