₦airaland Forum

sarahade:
Black American girls are lazy and crazy. Shebi n.a. green card you dey find you go see red card.
You better run for your life

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself.

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself.

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

Mobilia:
Ogalanyaidi,
Brother may I ask you a real, hardcore question please?
Why would you decide to want to marry an American, (a woman living in another country), while you are there in Canada where there are tons of Nigerian females and Black Canadians?
You could have easily gotten a woman in Canada...very easily (Black, African, European, Indian, Asian etc.).
Could it be though, that you had plans/dreams of coming to the U.S. to maybe further your studies once finished in Canada or to possibly work here? Did you clearly communicate that to her?

Honestly, I find this scenario quite unusual....
Cause a Black American woman, more oftentimes than not, is not going to just up and leave the U.S. to go and live with a foreigner in another country....at least not without a plan/direction. Most Black Americans don't see a concrete enough reason to leave (family, friends, job, schooling and the familiar etc) and take up residency in a foreign country....
That's like a 1-2 out of 10 chance that a female would do that.
I wonder where you met her?
I've read some of the comments and am quite appalled at how quickly the females (especially) jumped on and insulted the "akata".
But you had a role to play also. You should have gotten to thoroughly know the woman you wanted to marry...which takes time.
Perhaps sir, you can chalk this incident up to an unfortunate one....and know that in the future, you may want to enter into a relationship with the "right" motives or at least clearly communicate what you really want.
Be honest, you paid for all those things expecting a return on your "investment". Had it worked, then you would have hit the "jackpot"...so to speak.
Perhaps it's best to just date Nigerian women and hustle to get the permanent residency in whatever country you eventually determine to be the best one.
The "toilet" situation may have been just a case of a cultural misunderstanding. Black Americans and Black Africans have so much strife, ignorance and tension between each other...which is beyond saddening.
I would never...stereotype an entire ethnicity because of a number of challenged ones.

sarahade:
Black American girls are lazy and crazy. Shebi n.a. green card you dey find you go see red card.
You better run for your life

EVILFOREST:
Hahahaha Gaga
Pity the guy small naaaaa
Na GREEN CARD runs oooo
The WRONG LADY collide am
The guy for try locate some nice ladies or mothers whose daughters are there

Mobilia:
SIRTee15,
Sorry you had such a terrible experience.
I should be saying the same thing about Nigerian men (just based on Nairaland)...
But I won't
Cause there are just as many ripe (good)apples as there are rotten (bad) ones.

khiaa:
Shut your lying thoughts.

1990news:
You enter trap because of punany, and now you're tired of chopping, you come dey complain?.


Naija men dey disgrace me, so a black American girl over shadow you?

Altern8:
In your shoes, I would wait it out. When the visa expires and the fees are due, she would be deported. Don’t let her provoke you to violence. Just hang in there.

I would have said to eject her but things may get out of hand in the process and you could be slammed with a damaging domestic violence case. So be careful. Play the broke card well and stick to your story. Keep your financial information secret and wait till the storm blows over.

Shii like this happens when we consider good looks above all other qualities in a potential partner.

emmyid:
The personal text on your Profile is just so annoying. Who wants your money(if at all you have any), who want you to take them to the U. S. What are you feeling like? Mtcheeeeeew

Ogalanyaidi:
This is where I'm basing my defence. I've told her that she shouldn't smell what she doesn't eat. I lied on my resume so I don't think she should concern herself with my finance.

mgtow:
It's amazing how every day a new maga is born. No further comment.

khiaa:
MGTOW really, in Nigeria? A lot of people connect MGTOW with down-low homosexuals. I'm not saying you are I'm just wondering did you know that?

mgtow:
It's not connected to that as far as I know. I can understand why a woman would think that though.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Nwanne what happened to our homely igbo girls that you had to go for an akata? Physical qualities?

Better use the God given sense we igbos have and push the leech out of your life and if you not careful, she will set you up. Imagine advising that your mum should use plastic bucket! Chim

Ogalanyaidi:
That's the height of the insult. They saw the advice as an honest one. I asked them if they use bucket to shit there in America.

Suulola:
You probably didn't try hard enough to find a single Nigerian or non-Nigerian woman in Canada (because I'm sure they're many), but you wanted an American woman for some reason.


IA. It's unusual to move someone into your place just like that. Who does that? It takes time to know someone. With the U.S and Canada being so close what he should've done is ask her to visit him, or he visits her. Either one would've allowed him to see her lifestyle and habits. But just moving someone in so soon is somehow. He had his own intentions to begin with but probably won't admit it.

emmyid:
I got so pissed reading this. This is a major problem with African Americans. They are so lazy, hence, hate on hard working Africans over there who are more successful. Imagine her saying you work your Azz out because you are from a poor country?

Bro, please no fall my hands. What you are going through is not new to me. You are one of the gullible and foolish tenths. Please, let her go back to her rich country. Get you a hard working Nigerian lady and stop disgracing us. You sound like one with inferiority complex

sarahade:
My brother im telling you white women better pass them.
Even black American men use African women anyhow just because of paper.
It's crazy I swear.

sarahade:
My brother im telling you white women better pass them.
Even black American men use African women anyhow just because of paper.
It's crazy I swear.

Mobilia:
Sir,
Please calm down....please.
You are extremely angry....and cannot understand what I've written.
You can kindly ignore the text...but it will stay up there for now. No guy has to "pm" me if he doesn't want to...
If the "shoe doesn't fit, please don't wear it."
This has been most of my experience on Nairaland ok?
I'm sorry that all the "akatas" in America that you have dated have mistreated you...I really am.
Just stay away from them ok?
You are looking to pick a fight...but I'm not gonna engage you in one.
Take care

emmyid:
The personal text on your Profile is just so annoying. Who wants your money(if at all you have any), who want you to take them to the U. S. What are you feeling like? Mtcheeeeeew

khiaa:
Is there something superior about a Naija man that prevents him from being played by a black American woman as opposed to any other woman?

fancy4eve:
Kai Kai Kai, I lyk dis ur question.