₦airaland Forum

abimic:
Correct nigga.... At least you gave pocohantas a try, I won't be surprised you guys get married some years to come... It happened on twitter, it can happen on nairaland. Just that she dey talk sha, but I know you can tame her unlike the op using slap instead.

lol ,no mind her, chicken in real life,warrior on the internet.... na network providers fault ,gifting them 10mb steadily without proper investigation on what they use it for...

Pocahontas ...see someone here wishing good for you but you really need to stop being dirty for that to play out...

pocohantas:
There are different types of uncles. Biological, Romantic, Spiritual and Academic.

I didn't even read the story, but this is just epic!

Decision is all urs....I never saw anywhere u said she cheated. What she did was while u were not dating, and since *u don't knw wat took u to her Facebook wall*, my advice to u is to leave her for the sake of her. I can see u harbour anger due to ur discovery and it will be eating u up anytime u see her....is it the kind of marriage u want?? But if u are d type that can completely let go, then u have to sit her down and u guys be open and talk about it and d way forward...my opinion though...

I stop reading at the part where you said, I gave her three hot slap

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

Give her another chance bro!!!just make sure you don't rush into marrying her now!!take more time to know if truly she's changed and if you are convinced enough then go ahead...just no worry bruv na so our sisters be for here even the married men are going through hell lol

Hanseel1:
If common sense could be sexually transmitted you'd allow him to pass through you?

The earlier you realize most people on social media are frustrated and stupid, the best you can do is ignore them.

LOL, that reply isn't as serious as you're interpreting it.
Yes, I have realised this. Happy Sunday, hope you are good?

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

... Cast your stone first if you never eye any girl since or even follow any girl talk.. C'mon she has demonstrated how sorry she was by even going as far as deleting her Facebook account. You never ask God for forgiveness ni? Why are we humans find it very hard to forgive! You will ever be guilty as long as you keep saying "our Lords prayer" that is if you are a Christian. How can you not forgive those that trespass against you and you want God to be forgiving your atrocities. Mr man, don't listen to all these people here telling you to discard your fiancee, please forgive her as long as she's willing to work on her weakness. Support her to overcome that. Just make sure she's genuinely sorry for her actions and ready to correct all her mistakes

[sup][/sup]

pocohantas:
There are different types of uncles. Biological, Romantic, Spiritual and Academic. Undercover oloshos are very familiar with the romantic uncle.


Mayweather!

Anyway, are you single now?
Make another babe enter set.
You shouldn't be asking this question.

young man my advise is this if u have not sent ur nude to a lady don't forgive her but is u have then forgive her.cos if u have sent ur nude to lady remember is still someone's girlfriend or fiancé

we all have our past and we all deserve a second term

Gidilagoon:
Lol.. Thanks Bro. I’m hurt but I will be fine las las

@Gidilagoon, you love her, don't you?

You slapped her because of the love you have for her, note that.

You can only justify the slap you gave her if you forgive her and give her the LAST CHANCE.

DRAW THE LINE, CLEARLY TELLING HER OF YOUR OWN PRESCRIBED DOs and DON'Ts. Let her know that if she cross any of the lines, you will be done with her forever.

Next, postpone the date of wedding her for a reasonable period within which you observe her genuine change or otherwise lifestyle.

Lastly, draw closer to God, yourself and her. Otherwise, you will get only eye service. This applies to all women, not her alone

mimimile93:
Even the married ones are prostitutes..

Any Nigerian lady born from the 80s whether married or single is a prostitute..

I respect the ones at the brothels.. They keep it real.

Not the ones disguised as girlfriends and wives..

Much respect for this writeup..........very deep thought!

Hope the aunty is not coming because of the 3 hot slaps

She sent nudes. U not sure she cheated o... what About those that see evidence of sex had!?


U never marry am!

I don’t know if what u want! She has nothing to say. All You gotta do is forgive.

Ppl say once a cheat, always a cheat... Well I don’t reallly believe that yet...

donstan18:
One thing we should know is that until a lady is married, she's still single and a packaged prostitute.

She might be seen as a retired one once she's married. The earlier we get this the better for us.

Even a wise and intelligent Nigerian lady will agree with me that they are packaged prostitute parading as girlfriend.

OP, you shouldn't have slapped her, she's not your wife, you don't own her, you assumed she must have dated so many men, but you didn't tell us how many ladies you've dated.

Once your girlfriend cheat or misbehave. Kindly break up or forgive.

Don't hit a woman who is not your wife because she cheated. Don't even hit a woman atall, even if she's your wife.

Your action didn't make you a man, learn to act less and think smart when provoked by a woman.

If a Lady hit you first you've every right to hit her. It's justified.


Don't hit a woman but if she hit you, hit her back.

If she insult you - insult her back not hit.

If she punch you - punch her back
If she slap you - slap her back.

I perceive a sense of entitlement here. You slapped her and confidently come here to state it while thinking you deserve a good woman.
You honestly do not deserve any good woman as a wife. Unfortunately, I do not know this girl friend of yours else I would have advised her never to make the mistake of settling with a man like you (Its a pity her relatives do not see it this way).
You are writing all sorts about her while I'm sure you have serious flaws & one of which you have shown here by raising your hand to slap this Lady.
Please don't marry her, she obviously deserves a better man that will respect her (I just hope she will see things this way).
I am ashamed as man that you did this and felt it was right.

A lady that has dated married men is a no no for me. Reason is nemesis and the future of my marriage and kids.

She deleted her Facebook account because of her misdeeds and changed her phone number. I think without anyone telling her she has realized she is about to destroy her future with her actions. You need to give her another chance and help her be a better person. Trust me there is no different lady out there all is different packaging. But from the onset you shouldn't have change her phone number you need to trust her and allow her to make some mistakes which you will correct. You are the man

if u have not cheated since u started dating her dont forgive, but if u have forgive her d black sheep u know is better than the wolf in sheep clothing.

Hanseel1:
If a Lady hit you first you've every right to hit her. It's justified.


Don't hit a woman but if she hit you, hit her back.

If she insult you - insult her back not hit.

If she punch you - punch her back
If she slap you - slap her back.

send me a transcript of whatever your drinking. you deserve a carton of it

pocohantas:
You need common sense more. If only it were sexually transmitted, I might oblige you. So, the world can have one less dunderhead to worry about.

SAVAGE!!!

Kpac:
I am coming out of my comment retirement to honestly give you an advice you so much seek for.

Foremost on my advice is that you should kindly henceforth not seek a life-saving, destiny-shaping advice like the one above on a fast degrading forum like this which has also been occupied vigorously by an equally degrading different kinds of people, these days. Its like a deer going to the den of Lions to ask for advice on how to treat Mr Rabbit his neighbor. What kind of advice do you really think their brains can process?. Their minds are adequately corrupt, they have sawdust and carbide stuffed in the brains and the remaining part of the functional part has been eroded by codeine. Just so they don't win is why i am typing this, else you take a wrong advice that would affect your life, not theirs.

Lets move on from there, you have to realize that its getting more difficult for real guys to get ladies worthy of marriage these days, and its getting worse by the day. When a lady is on facebook, instagram, wechat, whatsapp, has a badoo profile, at the same time on twitter, active on nairaland, etc, it would take a real huge grace of God to have such lady not get Vulnerable and have date so many guys as you have pointed out about your fiancee. If this didn't happen now, it would have still happened after your wedding and could turn so ugly then. I am a realist and i strictly don't deceive myself. With what you have said about your fiancee, she did a terrible mistake (which she wouldn't have regretted if you have not caught her) but she quickly followed it with sincere steps of remorse, regret and remission. She deleted her facebook account and changed her number. Whew ! Thats a huge one. Most of the ladies on this forum giving you wrong advice would NEVER changed their phone number for any man. Your fiancee did this and that shows a lot of sacrifice for a lady in this generation.

She has engaged her aunt and maybe others, and that requires taking in some great shame to have done that. If she never wanted you and loved you, she would have used that 3 Italian slaps you gave her and the German dragging her out of your house as her great Alibi to make it look like you also a devil yourself. But she did not. Despite your embarrassing shortcoming, which you need to work on yourself, she has not stopped at anything (so far) to do anything she thinks could help you decide to forgive her.

You are not a saint either, we have had many ladies too who asked for advice if they should go on to marry a guy who gave them 3 Japanese slaps and dragged them from his house Fashola-style. Though what you discovered of your beloved fiancee was heartbreaking but please, you also need to look inside the mirror and ask yourself if you really think you're matured enough to get married. You seem to have a long way to go with your temperament - which of course collapses a marriage even faster than adultery.

As for she dating many guys in the past, its unfortunate, but she actually trusted all those guys is why she dated them but they had nothing to offer her. The past is the past and should be left in the past. If you guys love each other so and very much and have decided to mutually live your lives with each other, then Behold, all things have become new. Dont get married to her and be taunting her with her past again. That singular act breaks a woman's heart harder than seeing their husband on their maid. A man has to have a big matured mind and a huge restraining mind to be a successful husband.

In a nut shell, its human to make mistakes and its human to forgive. Nigerians hate that word forgiveness and that's why our society has been rounding a no-progress circle for ages. You can even deduce that from our beloved Nigerian film, they would never forgive any evil doer in their films, If they cannot find any quicker and harsher death for that evil doer, who has even repented, the next scene you would see is that the person walks away after bitterly rolling on the floor and asking for forgiveness, then suddenly a car speed to him/her, hits him/her and the person dies instantly. That's when they can end that film. They cant even give the person a chance to get to the hospital before he / she dies. Never. So its in our culture to hate to forgive, but you have to forgive your fiancee because she has really done everything she could after that interesting discovery.

Finally, please ensure its not just Facebook she deletes. Try to call her your own self, in a calm voice (cos she would have probably gotten so afraid of you after those slaps and drags), ask her to come meet you, then do your manly talks to ask her to tell you everything she thinks you should know now before you find out at anytime in the future and it gets too late. I assure you that you would need to sincerely talk very well, long and convince her she can trust you whereas you should also be very very prepared to be matured enough to hear anything and immediately shove it to the past. When she has confessed everything, you guys should jointly make decisions that would not affect your marriage henceforth. So, if she has a secret badoo profile for example, or she even has a username on a nude website, you should both there and then delete them all and please take her back to start a new life.

I assure you, there are worse ones out there. The ones on this forum are even worse. If you were dating any of them, you would have been in jail now with that your temper cos you would have killed them and even hang their corpse.

Goodluck Bro.

Wow....................Just wow. U have just made moi morning sir

shurch:
Forgive her, court for another 6 month without sniffing on her fb or instagram , after 6 months do your research to be sure she as changed.
My guy you will know what if she's truly worth it after all.
Adios.

best advice

why must u slap the girl u want to marry. if u marry her, the all house will become john cena and undertaker in cage..

You 'll b in for alot more, get it over with. Else HBP loading

Gidilagoon:
Oh wow. Thank you so much. I was extremely provoked, that’s why I did that and I’m so much in love with her and letting go is so fucking hard, so that’s why I overreacted, but thanks,NOTED

First of all, you didnt need to change her number. That says you are insecure. You also dont need to track or spy on her. This is a bad sign that your relationship will be stormy. When you look at her social media accounts, you will always find something to cause you problems.

You have 0 trust on her, and she has given 0 reasons to trust her. From your description of her, she is lousy. Sending her nude to a guy is seriously indecent exposure of herself that speaks volumes about her character. This relationship is bound to keep hurting. The sooner you both realise it the better for you both.

I know we are supposed to forgive when necessary but we need to be wiser from our experiences. I dont see why you will not speak to her aunt.

donstan18:
One thing we should know is that until a lady is married, she's still single and a packaged prostitute.

She might be seen as a retired one once she's married. The earlier we get this the better for us.

Even a wise and intelligent Nigerian lady will agree with me that they are packaged prostitute parading as girlfriend.

OP, you shouldn't have slapped her, she's not your wife, you don't own her, you assumed she must have dated so many men, but you didn't tell us how many ladies you've dated.

Once your girlfriend cheat or misbehave. Kindly break up or forgive.

Don't hit a woman who is not your wife because she cheated. Don't even hit a woman atall, even if she's your wife.

Your action didn't make you a man, learn to act less and think smart when provoked by a woman.

God bless you for this! Wisdom will not depart from you.

@gidilagoon I'll break bottle on your head if I were that girl! Nonsense Na your pikin? You ain't even ashamed to come online and say you slapped a woman?

Your insecurities are overflowing! Hope you also changed your phone numbers? Hope you don't chat or have a side chic? Cos Na thunder go roast you if you are guilty of those and acting saint Obi.


You haven't even proposed to her your words" maybe sometime next year" maybe? You ain't even sure when you want to wife her and you want her Soley to you?
You are a wicked and mean soul.

Walking away isn't so hard why degrade her like that and still claim to love her?

I'm so pissed mehn.

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’tt kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I
Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

Man that resorts to violence after a disagreement with someone is that one a matured man?

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

she deserves a second chance.

Hei, i really want to comment cos u personally requested for mature & experienced advice,in d first place, ur major problem is INSECURITY you need to work on it,& u were totally wrong by slapping that girl, no matter what, to prove to you that she is still loyal, she never reacted negatively, rather she kept on begging & was calling relatives to come beg,i don't know if u hv a sister though, but if ur sister received such slap from her guy,am sure u wont condon it,this girl is still homely & could still be tamed,she loves & respects you Big time,such girls are rare in this era, do not use ur blessed wife to play card,A word is enough for the wise,meanwhile am married with 3 kids, based in USA so am talking from experience ,make ur decision bro....

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

The earlier the better since you know who she is she maybe change

Accept her back if she still loves you and wants to be with. Life is tougher these days, so much distractions such that without the Grace of God you can't really survive.

After all no one is perfect, maybe she gets bored easily and you not available to gain her attention.

I think its great thing for her family to get involved, meet her aunt and confide in her what your fiancée did, its always good to have someone you are accountable to, that should keep her in check.

But believe me, its a jungle out there, you might meet other ladies that would make your fiancée look like a saint.

So my conclusion, if you truly love her, forgive her and let it slide. But pls don't rush into marriage with her, give some time to study her properly.

Liftedhands:
God bless you for this! Wisdom will not depart from you.

@gidilagoon I'll break bottle on your head if I were that girl! Nonsense Na your pikin? You ain't even ashamed to come online and say you slapped a woman?

Your insecurities are overflowing! Hope you also changed your phone numbers? Hope you don't chat or have a side chic? Cos Na thunder go roast you if you are guilty of those and acting saint Obi.


You haven't even proposed to her your words" maybe sometime next year" maybe? You ain't even sure when you want to wife her and you want her Soley to you?
You are a wicked and mean soul.

Walking away isn't so hard why degrade her like that and still claim to love her?

I'm so pissed mehn.

Lol! That's the comedy we see from the live in lover arrangement... The girl has her blame and our darling op seff no try.... Brother it's all a hustle... Babes need the USD$$$ HOW MUCH YOU GIVE AM LAST?!