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Princewell2012:


The reason why this case is different is because this woman is well to do right May be thats why everybody is consetrating on the property, what if it is the other ways round? Am sure nobody will hear about it.

Have the woman told you why her husband wanted her out in the first place? You should know that this story is not complete. Have you heard the other side of the story? May be the woman might be Rollin on the begging if she don't have that property? But now instead of her showing remorse she is threatening her husband. Yes I called it a threat. At this junction the man felt l insecure and decided to leave the so called property for the woman.

But you want her to break her marriage because of this so callled property hmmm

Mind you this man might not even mean what he is saying it might be a mere threat to bend his wife to oder, because no reasonable man will send his wife and children out of the home. Believe me that story is not complete she was only looking for sympathisers so she can Cook up anything to gain it.

I knows why I made that comments that if she is still interested in her marriage she should do the needful though you will not understanding.

I have comes across so many cases of this such and by the grace of God I were able to reconciled them.

Finally you said you don't want to insult me, but I have put it to you that you have already done so.

Shalom.

I'm sorry in anyway I spoke rudely... But yet sir, we can't say d man doesn't mean it... A man that change his work place to another state is not a good man...

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

Then he has ulterior motives.
If he doesn't want joint ownership, let him be, his brain would reset soon enough!

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dingbang:
How did you manage to put your name as the owner or the house without letting him know? You are a snitch

Shut up jor.

*******

Everyone is saying she shoud use Mr and Mrs ABC, that is soooo wrong oo. In the law for a case to be valid, use Mr X and Mrs Y ABC. Where X is the man's first name, Y is woman's first name while ABC is their Surname.

If he remarries that other woman is also Mrs, so her Mrs must be defined in the document.


To the poster, how did you manage to get the property document in your name and also keep it away from him for years?? You have betrayed him. There is no way his own money wasnt part of the proerty in question. If you both built it why dont both of you run the document together? Why did he not also ask to see the document all the while?

Secondly and most importantly, dont ever, i mean dont try to change the document to his name alone, once that is done, you are out forever. The only ground you should compromise on is join ownership.

My dear Sister, do not...I repeat, do not change the name to his name oooo ...Come to a compromise....Agree to change the name but to that of your First Son or First daughter. Dont allow sentiment cover your eyes ooo.I have seen this before. In the event that he throws you out, another women will be brought in to eat the fruit of your Labour. Please be wise....and again, avoid bringing Pastors into your family talk...try to resolve the issue within yourselves. Again, stop acting so desperate begging him like that. Tell him your concession and Leave him. When he is tired, he will come back home...over begging will make him adamant...he would not have begged you that way when he threw you out. Be wise...love with your heart but use your head.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

pls change the name to both,Mr /Mrs because it belong to both. else if dispute not settle at the end, the house can be sold and share the money among, life goes on

justjeff:
he is not a gentleman. I just wonder what action he will take if it's in his name. In marriage what belongs to you also belongs to him. I feel your pain but don't change the name. At most let it be joint. He will regret his actions. Just stay cool and talk less. Silence is golden

forget that gentle man talk. she did wrong. sine both of them planned to build the house together, the documents is supposed to be having both of their names. That's betrayal na. if she built the house when she was still single then no problem but she said they planned it together. it na you discover that kind thing, you go vex pass the husband sef. anything jointly owned or jointly planned in a marriage should have both partner's names - whether it's bought by the man or the woman

HRHQueenPhil:
wow, dis is serious
1. invite ur pastor or someone he highly respects and a lawyer.

2. kneel down and beg him in their midst and ask d lawyer 2 change it 2 his name.( this is if u want peace}

now, if u are scared he would turn around and throw u out l8a,
1. call a lawyer and file for a divorce
2. sell d house, invest d money and move 2 a smaller house

It is well with u

she should not change it to his name but to both of their names since both of them planned and worked towards achieving it. anything both partners work towards achieving in a marriage regardless of who invested more should be in the name of both partners.

Eketem:


Wetin concern me, she can't take care of 3 kids alone at least she has a house let her join being homeless and taking care of 3 kids.

I have no words for weak women who stick to weakness even when God has shown them signs clearly

Don't mind her, my mum left my dad with five kids she had no job, no house, didn't even know where to start from but she took us all.

Look at where we are today , God is really good for we never imagined we will be as prosperous as we are now, we give Glory to God's name.

Here is a woman who has a job, a house, and just three kids not five and am sure she also has a car and is living comfortably.

Don't change anything....... Some men are wicked Dan devil

HEseesall:


I used my part of the money which is not wrong, i expected him to know that

what you did is very wrong. if you had told him you were going to use your name in the documents your marriage would not have lasted to this time. both of you had the plan to build a family house, what you should have done is put both of your names in the documents. women like you don't go into marriage with open mind. you expected what is happening now a long time ago through your actions. no man will take what you just did

divinelove:
you are his wife so building the house with your name alone is a big red flag, moreso without his knowledge what type of wife does that? It shows you are preparing for divorce.

There are two sides to a story and I know you are not telling us the whole truth. In the building of the house there is no way the man could not have made a lot of contribution n sacrifice (may be not financial) to see it completed believing it's our house, complete betrayal.

If you are a Christian then always Know that your husband is your head.

He asked you to leave the house but believe me he doesn't mean it, it's just a way for men to show they are in charge.

There is alot of trust issues already but the only way out is to have joint ownership that allows him 60% if you still wants him as your husband. There is no way he will stay in a house u own alone as the wife.

No sense in what you wrote Mr Man. your article reeks of idiocy

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

if he doesn't want it jointly, then you should let him be. both of you had ulterior motives from the onset

wittyt98:
ma I'll advice you not to change the name on the documents to your husband's. he clearly is a very selfish and wicked man who would've made u pack out of that house if it was his to begin with.

my late aunty made a mistake of giving all her life savings to her husband to do business with so they could complete the house they both were building thinking he was a responsible man only for the man to change after a short while. he started finding faults in everything she does and used that as an excuse to start dating young girls and before my aunty knew what's up he had impregnated his young girlfriend and intends to marry her. my aunty was forced to move out of the house they both built when she couldn't bear the whole pain and betrayal. long story short her husband got married to the young girlfriend ,completed and moved his new bae into their house "his house now cus the document is in his name" and that's how my aunty lost out completely. she dealt with the pain and depression till she finally died few years later due to sickness.

your parents didn't pay your school fees and all only for you to give out your house to a very greedy man all in the name of marriage. it's your house, its your money, it's your property. you own it

don't let anyone make u take a decision you're later gonna regret cus I know how Nigerian marriage works and how they try to put the whole blame on the wife or ask her to give up on what she's fighting for because the husband is the head of the family and all that rubbish.

you're both heads madam
don't let anyone deceive you
own your property!!

Thank you ooo, I don't understand why a woman cant own properties simply because she married.

I am married and my properties are in my name, have not seen the person that will tell me to change it to my husband's name. His properties are in his name too and everyone is happy.

I don't even understand the whole rationale behind putting his name and giving him joint ownership when it's your house, only your name deserves to be on the document. Haba
You claim you are thinking about the kids then why is he not also thinking about them too and threatening divorce is he not their father or you gave birth to them alone?.

HEseesall:



When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, attention least i compromised for jointly,

you said you pple agreed that your share would be used to buy a property. he saw the Money as family money but you saw the other part as your share. both of you had the plan initially, you should have made the ownership a joint one

bukatyne:


He wants to fully own a house he did not build?

Hmmmm.

You said your husband is a good man; you are the only person with the licence to declare him good so he is.

The next question is 'What did you do to piss off a good husband so much that he wanted you to pack out and when you couldn't, abandoned you in the house?'

was this question answered...


Abeg wetin she do way the man wan pursue am...??

jadyclem:


what you did is very wrong. if you had told him you were going to use your name in the documents your marriage would not have lasted to this time. both of you had the plan to build a family house, what you should have done is put both of your names in the documents. women like you don't go into marriage with open mind. you expected what is happening now a long time ago through your actions. no man will take what you just did

Yes they had plans but he went and used his money to build a house for his family like she doesn't have parents too abi?.

If same thing happens to your son when gets married what will you say?

Demure1:
Yes they had plans but he went and used his money to build a house for his family like she doesn't have parents too abi?.

Dalerudaleru. Are you married?

She gave the impression that hubby's parents were in dire need. She never suggested that hers were.
If you are responsibly married, then you should know that while striking a balance in terms of expenditure on the two sets of in-laws can be hard, when one side has a dire need, the burden doesn't get transferred only to the spouse from that side.

She never gave the impression in her write-up that she was against spending on the hubby's family at that point. Her view (a very selfish one!) was that the burden for treating hubby's father and making them more comfortable should be borne by him alone. This lady has been selfish and calculating for a very long time.

I will hold that view till she provides additional information.

HEseesall:



When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, at least i compromised for jointly,

Just for clarity, were your contributions to this business equal? And on an ongoing basis has your husband shouldered the lions share of responsibility?

Did he ask you and your kids to pack out or just you?

What was the nature of the dispute that led to this standoff?

JAMESOJAY:
If same thing happens to your son when gets married what will you say?

HEseesall
Kindly answer this little question.
What would be your judgement

I totally disagree with you, before I got married to anybody, I came to this world alone and I will still die alone, why should I hustle, make my own money and put stuff that I buy in both our names? God forbid! We can have a joint account where we both donate equal amounts for the family's upkeep but for me to make my own money, invest it in properties and put it in both our names is pure bs.

With the increasing number of wicked men and deadbeat dads now, women should heed your advice at their own risk.

LewsTherin:


I both agree and disagree with this at the same time. Wierd, huh?

From the onset, yes. She should have made it a joint filing. I believe all property bought in a marriage should be jointly owned. Heck from the start, I would mot have “shared” the money in the first place. We would have used it jointly. That's what I do in my marriage. There is no his and her money. There is only our money. May be easier for me as we run a business together but hey, that's just me.

But seeing what has come out of this decision howbeit only from her side of the story, imagine what would have happened if the property was jointly owned. From the little I know, a Nigerian man can still kick his wife out of a house they jointly own. Tradition being stronger than law here. It will be said that even though both names are on the deed, he is still the husband and head of the house and still owns the house. Lawyers would be needed to untangle the mess.

I may be wrong but that's what I understand.

Just wondering the way people of dis generation think...
U only heard her own part of the Story ,which we don't know ow complete it is...
.
.
She made mention of "MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING WHICH WAS VERY INTENSE".....
.
.
No one care to hear/ask her Explain it..

Everyone just went to the Judgement throne dishing poos...



Madam HEseesall , Abeg explain that phrase in other to get a better advice from ppl....
@ least d@ will help a little

HEseesall:



The property only is in my name but we built it together

two people built and one person put its name.the man trusted you with everything, including his life .you said that your husband is a good man,meaning that you're a bad woman who is eating her cake and still want to have it.you must have backstabbed him,knowing that there is nothing he can do because you hold the key to everything.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

You didn't tell us what caused the disagreement. That would be the root of it all. Imagine if your husband was already feeling this much rage over this initial disagreement, how much more when he discovered after several years of sleeping in the same roof with his wife to discover that he was living in his wife's house after all. I'm Igbo, my mom has a house which she inherited from her mom and my dad would rather go and squat under the bridge than to live in my mom's house.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

This is crisis management at domestic level. I will advise you initiate a family reconciliation meeting inviting his family and yours. At the meeting let them know you are ready to change the title to Mr and Mrs but let the Mrs show your first name e.g if you are Mercy and your surname is Daniel while your husband's first name is James, you will change it to Mr and Mrs James and Mercy Daniel. You will also request to keep custody of the title . Don't hesitate to let the two families know the reason you made the title of the property in your name because you envisage this type of development.

proffemi:


Dalerudaleru. Are you married?

She gave the impression that hubby's parents were in dire need. She never suggested that hers were.
If you are responsibly married, then you should know that while striking a balance in terms of expenditure on the two sets of in-laws can be hard, when one side has a dire need, the burden doesn't get transferred only to the spouse from that side.

She never gave the impression in her write-up that she was against spending on the hubby's family at that point. Her view (a very selfish one!) was that the burden for treating hubby's father and making them more comfortable should be borne by him alone. This lady has been selfish and calculating for a very long time.

I will hold that view till she provides additional information.

Gberudani, I am happily married read my previous posts to get a better view of my marriage.

Are you married ?, because if you are also responsibly married you would know that if the table were turned and she used her own resources to help her family there's no way the man will put only her name on the document like he is imposing right now.

She said joint the man refused and said he wants only his name there and am sure no sensible person will agree to that rubbish.