ObservantFellow:


Aunty, let him remain there until he builds his own house. Then both of you can park into the house while you rent yours out and use the proceeds to support the family. Whatever you do, don't change the name on that house anytime soon.

Am really shock at how we have lost our values. So because of property we want this beautiful family to be scattered. Haba na

You're begging him? Are you kidding me? Is this some Nollywood home movie?
The man was about to kick you out with your children and you're begging?
If you really believe he's a good man maybe cause of the heat of things he said some stupid things that you believe he didn't mean and you think he loves you and your children, suggest a joint ownership to him. If he really cares then he shouldn't have a problem with that no matter how big his ego is. If he refuses then let him be. He's not worth the headache.

Amberon11:
I wonder wear such men are bred, God help us.
No wonder boacken have the worst IQ in all of humanity. Someone asked his wife and kids to move out and they could've been out if not for the smartness of the woman and you're here saying thrash.

Pls receive sense because at the moment you have none.

I saw the rest of your other post.

I wanted to reply, but it would be a waste of intelligence.

I hope the woman in question is not as dumb as you.

I won’t comment until I hear both sides of the story.

What was the cause of the quarrel ?

padresolomon:


Am really shock at how we have lost our values. So because of property we want this beautiful family to be scattered. Haba na

It would have been scattered anyway if the man chases the wife outta the house. Who says he wouldn't do it again if the house becomes his?

Aunty do not change it oh, if you change it he will throw you out. Find another partner or sugar son

It seems many people here did not see where the lady said her husband is a good man.

That means his action is not the norm. He has been a good husband before then.

The lady have still not told us what prompted him asking her to leave his house.
It may be something very terrible or may even be meaningless outburst on the husband's part.


By the time she wrecks her home based on your collective advise, we won't be there to shoulder the responsibility.


Wisdom is the principal thing.

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

To what end?

Someone points a gun at you and fires, oops! no bullet.
Then he asks you to load the gun for him. Once you do, what do you expect would happen.
There is a reason he doesn't want your name on YOUR OWN house.

He has already shown you his mind. Somewhere from the onset, you had a hunch to put the house in your name. Now years later, the hunch has paid off. You do not need to 'die' in a marriage like most of our women do only to being less happy than when they were single just to satisfy the public by bearing the title MRS.

I hope you do not cause your own sorrow.
P.S Keep your papers safe and inform your lawyer.

Wishing you well - Teemy

Amberon11:
I wonder wear such men are bred, God help us.
No wonder boacken have the worst IQ in all of humanity. Someone asked his wife and kids to move out and they could've been out if not for the smartness of the woman and you're here saying thrash.

Pls receive sense because at the moment you have none.

Niggress.
M sure if we were to test your intelligence It'd be far away from the average black man. Maybe you're just the blackest black man/woman there is! Rili? Jus take a critical look at the crap you wrote. Goes to show just how smart you are

Your husband must be devil in disguise.
Don't change the name to his name. If he decides to leave, life must go on.

Everything is worth fighting for but nothing is worth dieing for

michaelwilli:

Why would a husband make such threat?

Have you asked what the woman did?

The woman did not say what she did probably because she knows she has done terribly.

sacramento1212:
Except you guys had a disagreement from the onset, where i fault you was using your name as the sole owner of the property from the onset.

Even if he used his own share of the money for the parents as you indicated, i see no reason why you shouldn't have used Mr & Mrs XYZ as the property owner since you never had any issue with him using his own funds for the parents.

Your husband is upset and i wouldn't advise changing the name at this time since he has refused joint names for the change as that would be dangerous. I suggest you involve families since he told you to pack out of the house which further triggered all these problems.

Finally, your husband's version of what happened might be different from this thread you created but my advise is based on what you have written here.

Mr and Mrs Xyz is not advisable,anyone can be mr and Mrs Xyz.its ought to be Mr John Smith and Mrs Annabelle (her fathers name) Smith .

If he doesn't want to live in your house, he should rent a house for the family. Don't make the mistake of changing it to his name. Or you will find yourself out of that house in the future. Simple

padresolomon:


Am really shock at how we have lost our values. So because of property we want this beautiful family to be scattered. Haba na

What useless values are we talking about here? There was a business venture. The man opted to use his own share different from what the woman opted to use hers for. Take a minute here and think what if she had used hers to open up a random business venture, what house are we talking about again?

The man, for all his values, was ready to send her and innocent kids out so that probably another woman would come sit on it, irrespective of how it was gotten. So, you do believe the beautiful family is still together in this condition?

For me, the kids are a bigger priority at this stage. She should secure their future first. If the house is a sure way now, so be it.

RedAlert08:

Mr/Mrs Adviser, you better get your ass busy.

CSTR1005:

I just tire.

The woman said he is a good man .

And she annoyed him with God knows what for him to threaten her to pack out , and then later exposed the fact that she betrayed him earlier in an ego deflating way.

And some people here are demonizing a good man.

Very correct.

I am reading this from page to page and all I see is that THE ANSWER TO THIS ISSUE IS IN THE TITLE.

I have seen very intelligent posts and not-so-bright ones. @Heseesall, The person destroying her marriage because of pride here is you and not your husband as you'd like us to believe.

# You've always had your way with your "good" husband and are very shocked that he is not being a sucker this once. You initially thought it was a joke and that he'd come around like he's always done.

# Your action portrayed you as one of those women who think money is everything (our Yoruba call it "ojuorolari" -someone not accustomed to wealth, literally).Properly put - Greedy. Your words suggest that your family has repeatedly warned you about this. It is the reason you know they'll condemn your action over a "mere property".

# You have brought the symptoms of your failed management to the www, and conveniently left out the main reason your "good" husband asked you and 'your children' out of your matrimonial home. Why would a good man do that? Infidelity? I know good men stop being good when conversations get to that.

# It is obvious your husband doesn't need the property. Let me shock you - He probably even knew this a long time ago and never thought much about it. He is shocked that what was important to you during that moment of his anger was the ownership of the house instead of showing remorse for your action (which led to his sending you out, which we still don't know yet).

# One of the goods and ironically the biggest danger of social media, is the plurality of uncensored opinions. You'd rather be left more confused with the amount of information thrown at you on here. Interestingly however, go back to yourself. The answer is with you.

# Don't change the name to his. Yes. I"d rather in the children's name like some suggest here. But in the heat of this moment, tell him you have agreed. When peace has been restored, tell him you have a much better idea. Then throw the idea of the children's name. A good man should buy that.

#Ultimately, I have read from memoirs of the dying and aged and their caregivers that at the end it is family that matters. Not marriage. Not properties. But I see the one that is closest of the two.

It is your call.

If he doesn't want to live in your house, he should rent a house for the family. Don't make the mistake of changing it to his name. Or you will find yourself out of that house in the future. As long as the money is yours (from your own share of the business) you are perfectly right in ensuring the property is in your name. Look, if he want to break the marriage because of the property, it just show the kind of person he is. He want to steal the property from you. Simple

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

just had to write my own like instead of ticking it Like like .....

I am already having the feeling he wants to live with someone else both from trying to get her out and him shifting location.

My dear, call your husband and add his name to the properties.
Betrayal is a bitter pill men can't swallow.
Like u said, ' he is a good man'. They are very hard to find.

I'm itching to hear the man's part of the story. May not tally with hers.

LewsTherin:


Ok, got that.

Now like I said, normally, I am all for playing the fool in a relationship but your husband has set a bad precedent. First, he changed a joint agreement meant for your joint family in favour of his own family. Then he kicked you out of his house (as he thought it was). Then he insists you use your share of a joint decision, a decision that he reneged on, for his own benefit. Insisted on that twice ie before he knew it was in yiur name and after he knew it was in your name.

That is not good. Basically he has shown he is willing to abandon you and your kids if he “feels” like it. Sweetheart, no offense intended, but you don't have a good husband.

My advice to you and those in similar straits is
First, pray for your husband. Pray for God to change his person, to change his ways. If he claims to be a Christian, he sure as heck isn't showing Christ-like characters

Plan for your kids. Not to the exemption of your husband, but until he shows he can be different, plan to be able to live without him for your kids. I didn't say leave him. I said to be able to live without him. Different things.

Like you have been adviced, get an independent third party to mediate and see how that goes. I understand why you don't want to let your family know but it is dicey if they don't especially as he has involved his family from the beginning. I don't agree, but I understand. Maybe a compromise will be to tell your dad. Not your mum, not your sisters. Women by nature are very emotional and they can let their emotions overwhelm them. Tell your dad in confidence and ask him to keep it that way.

Finally, under no circumstances whatsoever should you add his name to that document. In mediations, the best you should do is to place the property in a trust for your children. Children! Not you, not him, not Mr and Mrs. Put it in the names of ALL your kids with a caveat that it cannot be sold by any one until all kids are above 18 years old.

Most of all, seek mediation and pray a lot for him.

My own advice.

I'm just gonna like reasonable comments and this is one.....like

Look lady,something fishy is going on,he has another babe,why would a man quarrel with u,next thing is to pack out,he found out you couldn't ,then he is transferring out of the state immediately, something fishy is going on,but I advise u add his name to the property,but this is how u add it,don't write Mr and Mrs sosossososo,anybody can be Mrs sosososos,write your full names Mrs charity ssososososo then his full names too,this saved my mummy's friend when her husband wanted to sell their property at omole,it got to court,since her full names were there, he couldn't sell it,so just put his name there too as it keeps a link between two of u. Then u know your husband more than everyone here,do something to appease him fast,pray if u have to so that the relocation he is planning won't work out. He must not leave the same state,if not babe,your marriage might be overrrrr.

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

If he wnts his name to be in charge,...den he's nt bn fair.

Sorry to say,...i am a married man, i knw d height/level of his anger right nw, i deeply knw hw he feels.

I am suspecting "INFIDELITY".

I am nt intruding into ur family affairs, no....or, wnt u to tell us wat made him so aggravated to dis point upto d extent of him wanting to throw u out with HIS OWN KIDS.

Anyways, wetin concern me, i av my own family issues.
"Every Aboki wit him kettle".

O
Y
O

Pearl05:



Let's say ur husband name is mike and your name is joy, surname Philips.

You can change it to Mr. Mike and Mrs. Joy Phillips.

Not advisable. Anyone can be Mrs “joy Philips”

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

Ah

naob:


If you change the name, you are still at a risk of loosing the marriage. Who says he won't chase you out when another issue occurs (not that I'm saying/hoping it would)?

A man that can chase his children out because of an offence or misunderstanding with his wife can do anything.

Besides, to me the man is somehow dumb (no offence to the wife). So it takes an argument to know about the ownership of a house you've been staying in for sometime? You didn't bother to check the documents all this while?

Bro, I hope u comprehend, we're on d same page?

Madam don't change that property to his name! So if it was his he would have comfortably asked you to leave? Just ignore him while praying to God to direct you. Don't invite anybody that will make you do otherwise biko. Btw, seems like that man is from Imo state

bukatyne:


He wants to fully own a house he did not build?

Hmmmm.

You said your husband is a good man; you are the only person with the licence to declare him good so he is.

The next question is 'What did you do to piss off a good husband so much that he wanted you to pack out and when you couldn't, abandoned you in the house?'

Before a good man according to OP will abandon his wife & kids or wnt to throw dem out......
Hmmmm, am seriously suspecting infidelity. Dnt knw wer to point fingers at.

Hope DNA issue isn't involved though.

Jst saying.

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

I understand we are in Africa but the explanation of u breakin up for property is not your fault..... Maybe if you and your children are outside you will prefer to explain that one abi?
Last last meet mature minds....A neutral person person o..like a marriage counselor not all dose traditional fanatic that would always want to favour the men.

HEseesall:



When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, at least i compromised for jointly,

If he refuses to accept Mr. and Mrs. then I am afraid your husband has hidden agenda. You can suggest changing the name to your kids' so the two of you know it is in your children's name. MAKE him understand that you want it to be in the kid's name. If he refused, then take the bold step. Move on with your life. What if he renders you homeless or sells the house after changing the name to his? What will you do? Be wise. I am a man. And no man will ever tell his wife to get out of the house and leave with innocent kids.