At this junction, you've to get your husband involved because you can't get rid of this guy alone.

ceeceeuwa:

Tell your husband, then change your line after that...

I will tell him. Any need changing line? The guy knows my family compound. We are from the same hometown.

Quiescere:
At this junction, you've to get your husband involved because you can't get rid of this guy alone.

Thanks. I will do that.

I will simply advice you open up to your husband with all honesty. Please don't hide anything. Tell him the whole truth and since he married you as a non virgin he will understand.
The interesting part is when your ex calls your husband to blackmail you or say thrash your husband will just brush it aside. Your ex words won't carry any weight.

HAPPY MARRIED LIFE. Kindly let us knw about the turns of event. Will be praying 4 u

Tunmise100:
I will simply advice you open up to your husband with all honesty. Please don't hide anything. Tell him the whole truth and since he married you as a non virgin he will understand.
The interesting part is when your ex calls your husband to blackmail you or say thrash your husband will just brush it aside. Your ex words won't carry any weight.

HAPPY MARRIED LIFE. Kindly let us knw about the turns of event. Will be praying 4 u

Thank you sir.

This is some precarious web to be entangled in and I do feel your pains.

However, at a point in your narrative, you did give a vibe (wrongly or rightly) as one who kept seeing this ex even after marriage, if this is the case, you haven't been fair to your husband and have further dug yourself deeper in this quagmire.

From the way, the guy keeps coming back and asking for sex even after so long, it is safe to think that there is some special sexual fetish you both enjoyed which you are scared of him spilling.

At any rate, the deed has been done and you have got to get your life and freedom back from his control, so I'd say let your hubby in on this issue just as you have narrated it out here.

Keep strong, this too shall pass.
Peace.

I don't understand. Do you guys have any written agreement?

What's so hard in denying ever making any agreement with him since 2016? Simply say he is your ex.

The bargain/agreement nonsense won't go down well with your husband, trust me.

Acidosis:



I don't understand. Do you guys have any written agreement?

What's so hard in denying ever making any agreement with him since 2016? Simply say he is your ex.

The bargain/agreement nonsense won't go down well with your husband, trust me.

Hello what do you mean by "won't go down well"?

I am about telling my husband everything after his dinner.
Kindly explain your point please..
Thank you

SifonAbasi:


Hello what do you mean by "won't go down well"?

I am about telling my husband everything after his dinner.
Kindly explain your point please..
Thank you

Goodluck




Don't forget to tell us the outcome in every step
Today
Tomorrow
Next week
Keep us posted

Dyt:

Goodluck


Don't forget to tell us the outcome in every step Today Tomorrow Next week Keep us posted

I will. God bless you all.

To people accusing her that she must have cheated on her husband since they got married, that's unfair. If she has done that, nothing stops her from doing it again with same guy.
The guy feels cheated out of their agreement, and he may truly say some untruths.
What kind of a man still insists on sleeping with a married woman because of an agreement of sex for cash made when she was single?
She has offered refunds of the money, yet he has refused that. Must he sleep with another man's wife? I can't trust such a man to be honest.

sifon , just tell your husband the whole truth and nothing but the truth , ur fear about the man telling lies to ur husband is unfounded. Just tell him and get this issue off ur mind.

You are confused ke? You were a business woman who traded by barter with a consistent client...now you've liquidated, the client better parks well. Its either he collects the money or completely forget it

By the way, you were quite a darling

never grant him madam , just tell him that you are not for that anymore..... meanwhile inform your husband and if the guy treating your life just inform the security . past is past , may Allah grant you forgiveness but never go back to it.

Dyt:


Goodluck




Don't forget to tell us the outcome in every step
Today
Tomorrow
Next week
Keep us posted

Outcome ko, Outcome Ni ! She's going to pack out of the house & return to her father's house, Just watch

Biko I was just joking oh Plizzzzz

I know for a fact that some guys when they don’t get the sex they expected, they get very mean and evil. I completely understand her fear of him saying lies to hurt her.

Really, what’s surprising about expecting lies from a guy who insists on getting sex as his payment from a married women. I would bet he’d totally lie like crazy so please y’all cut the judgment.

cococandy:
I know for a fact that some guys when they don’t get the sex they expected, they get very mean and evil. I completely under her fear of him saying lies to hurt her.

Really, what’s surprising about expecting lies from a guy who insists on getting sex as his payment from a married women. I would bet he’d totally lie like crazy so please y’all cut the judgment.

eyinjuege:
To people accusing her that she must have cheated on her husband since they got married, that's unfair. If she has done that, nothing stops her from doing it again with same guy.
The guy feels cheated out of their agreement, and he may truly say some untruths.

What kind of a man still insists on sleeping with a married woman because of an agreement of sex for cash made when she was single?
She has offered refunds of the money, yet he has refused that. Must he sleep with another man's wife? I can't trust such a man to be honest.

She must have slept with that guy while in marriage, if not she won't be scared of lies from the guy without proofs.

donstan18:



She must have slept with that guy while in marriage, if not she won't be scared of lies from the guy without proofs.

What proof has the guy got even if he slept with her while married? Pictures? She can always say it was before they got married.
If she's done it with him before while married, why not do it again with him? Why the sudden change of heart? She might as well continie sleeping with him, and the husband still wouldn't suspect.
If the guy would refuse a refund of his money, and still insist on sleeping with a married woman because of their agreement made months/years ago before she got married then such a guy is not trust worthy. She also happens to know him, and his character. Nothing stops him from lying if he doesn't get his way.
I still choose to believe her story, as it would be easier to continue sleeping with the guy if she's done it before when married.

cruchenutii:


Outcome ko, Outcome Ni ! She's going to pack out of the house & return to her father's house, Just watch

Biko I was just joking oh Plizzzzz

Shhhhhh
You don't speak

SifonAbasi:

I will.
God bless you all.

Oya madam
What happened ehhhhh

eyinjuege:

What kind of a man still insists on sleeping with a married woman because of an agreement of sex for cash made when she was single?
She has offered refunds of the money, yet he has refused that. Must he sleep with another man's wife? I can't trust such a man to be honest.

A man who wants a woman so bad that he will do anything foolish to hang on to the hope of having her.

From the OP's story,

1. The guy has not had anyone else since her
2. He was helping till he started sex for cash
3. He willingly gave her money when she wasn't able to fulfill her own part and waited. If it was just transactional, he wouldn't give her the money till she was able to sleep with him.

I will bet that what's doing him is that she married someone else behind him.

cococandy:
I know for a fact that some guys when they don’t get the sex they expected, they get very mean and evil. I completely under her fear of him saying lies to hurt her.

Really, what’s surprising about expecting lies from a guy who insists on getting sex as his payment from a married women. I would bet he’d totally lie like crazy so please y’all cut the judgment.

Sounds like he’s got a terrible crush on her.

Would be interesting to read his side of the story though.

There is something about this story that makes me want to cry . Most of our ladies have turned to disguised prostitute either by chance or intentionally. More than half of the ladies in higher institutions today sleep their way through school. They sleep with their lecturers for grade, sleep with the mates of their fathers for money, sleep with their boyfriends for fun.

Its really worse when a parent expects a child , a student for that matter to cater for them . I don understand how a mother will know that her daughter is a disguised LovePeddler and still continue to collect money from her knowing fully well the daughter is not working or earning.

Lastly the kind of greed that this generation is dealing with does not give any flicker of hope, most girls now see davidos chioma as a role model.

What hope is their for the hard working man ? Google the most searched things in Nigeria on the internet by Nigerian youths and you will realise that the future of Nigeria is bleaker that its current state of electricity.

@op am sorry I do not have any words for you

EfemenaXY:


Sounds like he’s got a terrible crush on her.

Would be interesting to read his side of the story though.

Honestly.

I can almost imagine his side.

Something tells me that if she was able to contact him before the wedding, he would have told her not to.

Good afternoon my good people of Nairaland. Happy Sunday!

Yesterday after a dinner with my husband, I told him everything about me and my ex.
My husband asked me a lot of questions concerning my ex like "Where's he from? What's he into? How did we meet?" A lot of questions about him. I was very honest with him and told him everything. Even told him that he (my ex) disvirgined me.

After telling him everything, my husband response was "okay". I noticed his countenance changed.

He sat for few minutes in the sitting room then went to the bedroom and slept.

Normally we always pray before going to bed no matter how tired we are but yesterday my husband went to bed without praying and I was scared to ask him why he didn't pray.

Early this morning he was moody. He told me not to make breakfast that we will eat when we returned. He went into the restroom had his bathe then dresses up and I did same.

My husband face wasn't bright. We entered the car, he started it and we drove off.

While on the road we were both silent. All of a sudden he diverted from the church route to another route. I wanted asking him where we are heading to but I remained calmed.

Before I could know it, I saw him heading to my village road. I pee on myself. I asked him where we are heading to he told me not to worry.

I began begging him with tears in my eyes. He increases the volume of the car's radio just to distract me.

After 45mins drive, we arrived my village and he asked me to show him the guy's compound so I took him there.
We met the guy's mother, we greeted her then my husband told her everything I told him.

The old woman begged us to forgive her son. My husband collected the guy's number and called him in his mom's presence.
My husband was friendly on the phone. He thanked my ex for the help he rendered to me then told him to send his acct number that he will send him back his money.

My ex told my husband not to bother that he was just helping me as a friend.
That he is sorry, he thought I was joking when I told him I'm married.

My husband gave the phone to his mom and the old woman spoke with him (my ex) and warned him to stay away from me that I am a married woman.

My husband collected the phone and told my ex that for the help he offered me, he (my husband) is going to sponsor his wedding from start to finish whenever he (my ex) is ready to marry.

My husband also told him that his (my ex's) name will be on the police watchlist in case anything happens to his wife.

My ex was begging and promised never to hurt me.

We left their compound to my father's compound, greeted my mom and we headed back to the town.

On our way home, my husband was smiling all through and gave me the car to drive.

We branched an eatery to have our lunch and he bought me my favorite.

We just arrived home not quite long.

Thank you all for your kind advice yesterday. May God in His infinite mercies continues to bless you all and increases you all in wisdom and strengths.

I am highly grateful specially to:
donstan18
edoman2016
appsdope
Eketem
Merimental
bukatyne
eniolorunfe
ceeceeuwa
Quiescere
Tunmise100
gaby
Acidosis
Dyt
eyinjuege
Alaadin
sisisioge
azelab
Cruchenutii
Cococandy
EfemenaXY.

God bless you all.
Have a brighter week ahead.

You all are blessed beyond a curse.

Thank you.

SifonAbasi:
Good afternoon my good people of Nairaland. Happy Sunday!

Yesterday after a dinner with my husband, I told him everything about me and my ex.
My husband asked me a lot of questions concerning my ex like "Where's he from? What's he into? How did we meet?" A lot of questions about him. I was very honest with him and told him everything. Even told him that he (my ex) disvirgined me.

After telling him everything, my husband response was "okay". I noticed his countenance changed.

He sat for few minutes in the sitting room then went to the bedroom and slept.

Normally we always pray before going to bed no matter how tired we are but yesterday my husband went to bed without praying and I was scared to ask him why he didn't pray.

Early this morning he was moody. He told me not to make breakfast that we will eat when we returned. He went into the restroom had his bathe then dresses up and I did same.

My husband face wasn't bright. We entered the car, he started it and we drove off.

While on the road we were both silent. All of a sudden he diverted from the church route to another route. I wanted asking him where we are heading to but I remained calmed.

Before I could know it, I saw him heading to my village road. I pee on myself. I asked him where we are heading to he told me not to worry.

I began begging him with tears in my eyes. He increases the volume of the car's radio just to distract me.

After 45mins drive, we arrived my village and he asked me to show him the guy's compound so I took him there.
We met the guy's mother, we greeted her then my husband told her everything I told him.

The old woman begged us to forgive her son. My husband collected the guy's number and called him in his mom's presence.
My husband was friendly on the phone. He thanked my ex for the help he rendered to me then told him to send his acct number that he will send him back his money.

My ex told my husband not to bother that he was just helping me as a friend.
That he is sorry, he thought I was joking when I told him I'm married.

My husband gave the phone to his mom and the old woman spoke with him (my ex) and warned him to stay away from me that I am a married woman.

My husband collected the phone and told my ex that for the help he offered me, he (my husband) is going to sponsor his wedding from start to finish whenever he (my ex) is ready to marry.

My husband also told him that his (my ex's) name will be on the police watchlist in case anything happens to his wife.

My ex was begging and promised never to hurt me.

We left their compound to my father's compound, greeted my mom and we headed back to the town.

On our way home, my husband was smiling all through and gave me the car to drive.

We branched an eatery to have our lunch and he bought me my favorite.

We just arrived home not quite long.

Wow! please ensure you delete that guy from your memory (if that's possible). That's the least you could do.

SifonAbasi:
Good afternoon my good people of Nairaland. Happy Sunday!

Yesterday after a dinner with my husband, I told him everything about me and my ex.
My husband asked me a lot of questions concerning my ex like "Where's he from? What's he into? How did we meet?" A lot of questions about him. I was very honest with him and told him everything. Even told him that he (my ex) disvirgined me.

After telling him everything, my husband response was "okay". I noticed his countenance changed.

He sat for few minutes in the sitting room then went to the bedroom and slept.

Normally we always pray before going to bed no matter how tired we are but yesterday my husband went to bed without praying and I was scared to ask him why he didn't pray.

Early this morning he was moody. He told me not to make breakfast that we will eat when we returned. He went into the restroom had his bathe then dresses up and I did same.

My husband face wasn't bright. We entered the car, he started it and we drove off.

While on the road we were both silent. All of a sudden he diverted from the church route to another route. I wanted asking him where we are heading to but I remained calmed.

Before I could know it, I saw him heading to my village road. I pee on myself. I asked him where we are heading to he told me not to worry.

I began begging him with tears in my eyes. He increases the volume of the car's radio just to distract me.

After 45mins drive, we arrived my village and he asked me to show him the guy's compound so I took him there.
We met the guy's mother, we greeted her then my husband told her everything I told him.

The old woman begged us to forgive her son. My husband collected the guy's number and called him in his mom's presence.
My husband was friendly on the phone. He thanked my ex for the help he rendered to me then told him to send his acct number that he will send him back his money.

My ex told my husband not to bother that he was just helping me as a friend.
That he is sorry, he thought I was joking when I told him I'm married.

My husband gave the phone to his mom and the old woman spoke with him (my ex) and warned him to stay away from me that I am a married woman.

My husband collected the phone and told my ex that for the help he offered me, he (my husband) is going to sponsor his wedding from start to finish whenever he (my ex) is ready to marry.

My husband also told him that his (my ex's) name will be on the police watchlist in case anything happens to his wife.

My ex was begging and promised never to hurt me.

We left their compound to my father's compound, greeted my mom and we headed back to the town.

On our way home, my husband was smiling all through and gave me the car to drive.

We branched an eatery to have our lunch and he bought me my favorite.

We just arrived home not quite long.

I like your husband, very wise man, emotionally intelligent no he said she said scenario I am glad this ended well.

Honesty pays. Don't beg anybody for money again ever.

Acidosis:



Wow! please ensure you delete that guy from your memory (if that's possible). That's the least you could do.

Thank you

Eketem:


I like your husband, very wise man, emotionally intelligent no he said she said scenario I am glad this ended well.

Honesty pays. Don't beg anybody for money again ever.

Thanks. God bless you

SifonAbasi:
Good afternoon my good people of Nairaland. Happy Sunday!

Yesterday after a dinner with my husband, I told him everything about me and my ex.
My husband asked me a lot of questions concerning my ex like "Where's he from? What's he into? How did we meet?" A lot of questions about him. I was very honest with him and told him everything. Even told him that he (my ex) disvirgined me.

After telling him everything, my husband response was "okay". I noticed his countenance changed.

He sat for few minutes in the sitting room then went to the bedroom and slept.

Normally we always pray before going to bed no matter how tired we are but yesterday my husband went to bed without praying and I was scared to ask him why he didn't pray.

Early this morning he was moody. He told me not to make breakfast that we will eat when we returned. He went into the restroom had his bathe then dresses up and I did same.

My husband face wasn't bright. We entered the car, he started it and we drove off.

While on the road we were both silent. All of a sudden he diverted from the church route to another route. I wanted asking him where we are heading to but I remained calmed.

Before I could know it, I saw him heading to my village road. I pee on myself. I asked him where we are heading to he told me not to worry.

I began begging him with tears in my eyes. He increases the volume of the car's radio just to distract me.

After 45mins drive, we arrived my village and he asked me to show him the guy's compound so I took him there.
We met the guy's mother, we greeted her then my husband told her everything I told him.

The old woman begged us to forgive her son. My husband collected the guy's number and called him in his mom's presence.
My husband was friendly on the phone. He thanked my ex for the help he rendered to me then told him to send his acct number that he will send him back his money.

My ex told my husband not to bother that he was just helping me as a friend.
That he is sorry, he thought I was joking when I told him I'm married.

My husband gave the phone to his mom and the old woman spoke with him (my ex) and warned him to stay away from me that I am a married woman.

My husband collected the phone and told my ex that for the help he offered me, he (my husband) is going to sponsor his wedding from start to finish whenever he (my ex) is ready to marry.

My husband also told him that his (my ex's) name will be on the police watchlist in case anything happens to his wife.

My ex was begging and promised never to hurt me.

We left their compound to my father's compound, greeted my mom and we headed back to the town.

On our way home, my husband was smiling all through and gave me the car to drive.

We branched an eatery to have our lunch and he bought me my favorite.

We just arrived home not quite long.

wow...beautiful ending...your hubby is the mvp, he's a real man. I love the way he took and handled the situation.

Enjoy your marriage sis..

SifonAbasi:
Thank you all for your kind advice yesterday. May God in His infinite mercies continues to bless you all and increases you all in wisdom and strengths.

I am highly grateful specially to:
donstan18
edoman2016
appsdope
Eketem
Merimental
bukatyne
eniolorunfe
ceeceeuwa
Quiescere
Tunmise100
gaby
Acidosis
Dyt
eyinjuege
Alaadin
sisisioge
azelab
Cruchenutii
Cococandy
EfemenaXY.

God bless you all.
Have a brighter week ahead.

You all are blessed beyond a curse.

Thank you.

God bless you sister, you deserve all the happiness.