greggng:


Thank you for coming down here to seek advice . My brother you are a blessed man don't allow the devil to pollute your mind. I am not a prophet but that child you are avoiding now is gonna be a Good luck to you. She is gonna become someone of great important all thanks to you accepting her as your own. I am talking from experience . Accept that child as yiur own and never you treat her like a stranger. Remember me when God starts using her in your life.

I don't pollute people's minds

cvibe2:


Op, you shouldn't even be bringing this up as a topic. How is your wife's daughter really affecting you?

I've seen a man take care and even sponsor to study abroad the 3 kids his wife brought into the marriage from a previous relationship that didnt work out. You, you are here lamenting.

Go and also ask that man that married that Tuface' s baby Mama called Sumbo Adeoye if I remember rightly.

You can't just expect your wife to throw her daughter out of her life.

Sumbo ajaba now adeoye.

I shared my personal experience too

maestroferddi:
The salient point you made is that he should not have married a woman with a child without factoring in the implications...

Otherwise you appear not to understand male psychology. Forget the simplistic comments cascading down here, it is not easy to keep another man's offering under one's roof.

If the man was never married when he met the woman, the child has the potential of reminding the man of what couldn't have been. I hope you know what I mean.

The man should make peace with himself and pray for God's reassurance to accept the child.

My point is that the matter doesn't look as simple as you guys make it look...

you get brain...people think it is easy taking someone else child into your home..it ain't easy......the the. guy should have put it I to consideration before getting married to his wife..now he has no choice than to allow the gal into the home..else he will be seen as wicked......

So you people are tossing the innocent child around cos of what people will say and whatever like it's her fault. this can demoralise the child in future please, or you think because she's small she doesn't know what's going on? Be sympathetic..... Abeg allow your wife take her child in biko, after all she didn't hide it from you..... I see nothing wrong in taking her as your own, if you can't accept your wife's child then I doubt you'll ever lend a helping hand to outsider..... Just do proper documentation cos that silly sperm donor may wake up one day to start nonsense.... God bless your family

I'm just pissed off reading this.. Op smh for you.

Accept the child my friemd

dominique:


So what is wrong with her being with you? Is she subhuman? You can't claim to love your wife and can't stand the child that came from her. How do you think your wife will feel knowing that her baby is being maltreated somewhere because you don't want her under your roof? Honestly you're being inconsiderate, you should never have married a single mum if you can't stand her child.

If hes inconsiderate wat will u say about the. Childs father who threw his daughter out bcis hes married? Not dat d woman demanded custody? The truth is he can't be forced to take the child, sameway if the reverse was the case he can't force his own child on the lady especially if this was cleared up b4 their marriage. The lady and her ex have to sort it out since the kid can't stay in any of their homes because they are both married. I wud say the father(ex) has to keep the child and accommodate her in his new home or find an alternative. I really feel for this kid.

Never you ever refer to your as such.
Stand on your ground. You're not married to your family. You're married to your wife.

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus she is "AFTER ONE"

You were fully aware that your wife has a daughter before you married her not that she kept it a secret from you.Agreed that the daughter living with you was not the initial plan but then circumstances have changed.

In this case I think accepting the girl will be the better thing to do because:

1 From your write up, she is not going about it in a forceful way but pleading. She even sent the girl to her mum pending when you have a change of mind.

2 Sir, if the table is to be turned around and you find yourself in your wife's position, what exactly would you want her to do?

Please reconsider your decision.I know it may be hard for you because it was not in the initial plan. But then the girl in question is your wife's flesh and blood.how happy do you think she will be in your home knowing fully well that her daughter is homeless, all thanks to you her husband.

One of my guiding principle in life is " Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you".
Apply this principle Sir and you will wholeheartedly accept the girl.

If you're thinking of rejecting your wife's child then oga you're a wicked soul.

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that

misolataiwo:
Just a quick one, please check Mclure Twins on YouTube for just one hour and see the way the twins relate with their dad, you will be very surprised to hear that the man is not their real dad, he is their step dad!

Thank you maybe Kardashian family will come to mind .
Their stepfather did most of the work and today you can see result

Sap0:

abi..how can a man call his own wife "after one" on the internet

Total rubbish and uncalled for

tiredoflife:
Person wey marry babalawo pikin suppose know say one day him go chop ebo

lmao..I agree.. person wey marry after one..wetin he expect?

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

With the way you are going, please don't be hostile to that child if you want your marriage to work. You knew she had a child before marriage you should have put all the "what if" into consideration. The truth is your wife will never leave her child outside to be maltreated by another woman. If you want your wife to really show you love, treat that child the way you treat your kids and see.

bluefilm:
What kind of baby is this one that everyone is rejecting?

Chai.

Some people just have tough luck in this world and for so many of such persons, it starts right off from birth!

It's a pity.

I feel so sad for the girl. In between 2 parents dt dont want her. Smh. She will grow up and resent all her half siblings if shes abandoned like this.

This op is just a selfish demon. All these pple dt live fake lives, controlled by what people will say. They don't even know their own self. Zero character. Nonsense!

So nice to see a Nairaland thread devoid of tribal insults.

Amberon11:
If you're thinking of rejecting your wife's child then oga you're a wicked soul.

if he is wicked..then the father that threw her to the mother because he is getting married is what?

sexymoma:
You are just been selfish

Being

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus she is "AFTER ONE"

This is an unwise thing to say.

If you had a problem with her being after one, why marry her?

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus she is "AFTER ONE"

.
Sir, you're a man and the head of your family, don't let people control your family.

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

/
I believe that you are naturally wicked.

Are you telling me that you cannot train another person's child? But in this case, a child of your present wife. I cannot believe what I just read. A girl needs her mother to guide her through teenage years. I guess you already know what the future holds for you. You think you are better than those families that get wiped out in a single accident? I wish there is a way around it because I will advise your wife not to bring the girl close to a devil like you because you fit the profile of someone who will kill or maim a step-child with the level of hatred in your soul.

/

Nofav0rs:
The kids father couldn't have the kid anymore cuz he's now married yet wants your wife to have the kid knowing she's also married. TF! Why didn't he take the kid to his own parents?

If his (your wife's baby dad) wife loves him, why wouldn't she also accept the kid? Why should it be problem?

So many deadbeat dads everywhere

So what's your point bros.. Should he accept the kid or not?

jaxxy:


If hes inconsiderate wat will u say about the. Childs father who threw his daughter out bcis hes married? Not dat d woman demanded custody? The truth is he can't be forced to take the child, sameway if the reverse was the case he can't force his own child on the lady especially if this was cleared up b4 their marriage. The lady and her ex have to sort it out since the kid can't stay in any of their homes because they are both married. I wud say the father(ex) has to keep the child and accommodate her in his new home or find an alternative. I really feel for this kid.

I agree 100%

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that

You are a selfish wicked and thoughtless guy...very immature and need not to have gotten married to a single mum...do your worst nigga

JaffyJoe:


You guys are always quick to throw the "if you truly love her" tag around in cases like this. First of, sit down

I tire o.

Naija peeps can pretend.

Snake oil salesmen sincerity all over the place.

If this seedy outpouring of empathy I am reading here is genuine, how come our society is so wicked?

Take that girl as ur daughter... Do a proper documentation and adopt her as ur child , torture her, care for her , integrate her into ur family and you will see your wife going extra mile to please U.
If d mother is good, then ,there may be traits of the mother in her which will make her play a "big aunty" role to your children.
This is a test from God...if you fail, your are doomed. Take this advise and U will live to appreciate it in the nearest future.

Gosh... the tone of the post is sickening. You are doing the woman a favour tone, by even getting married to her. It should be a union of love and understanding, which one be she shdnt bring another's man child to me in my house, same womb that held that child held all of urs too, ur kids are siblings to this child. you should have even accepted the child fess then come and ask us what shd be ur ground rules. Nansense! Why shd u care what the kid becomes tomorrow like some are saying, can't u just take care of the child just because... Stop talking like u own the mother a did her a favour marrying her... I dnt blame you sha, its all these ladies that wnt hear u shdnt be opening leg anyhow, sex has become cheap and abused... the result? Poor kids like this, tossed around, she already knows who rejected her and she will never forget... poor child.

It's so funny how people talk. It's easier to give advice when you are not in that position. The child father denied his own child. The child grandma denied the same child. So, because he is the child stepfather, it is now his crime to take the child without us knowing his financial condition. I feel for u bro. However, make a decision you will stand by.

That what you sign up for

This is a fake story by the OP.

Odobopa:

So what's your point bros.. Should he accept the kid or not?

His decision. This should not be forced on him