₦airaland Forum

fearlessly and deeply!!!

Just because a relationship dynamic has shifted doesn’t mean that the love is gone. If it does, that wasn’t love.

I reflected today about all the love that I have experienced in my life so far. During the last decade (basically my entire adult life), I have been in three serious relationships, with completely different, but similarly amazing, people. I wanted to take a moment to fully acknowledge and appreciate my past.

While most people do nothing but complain about their ex’s, have a negative memory of their relationships, and often times, don’t talk to them anymore — I feel fortunate to not have had that experience with any of these three women. In matter of fact, I don’t even feel comfortable calling any of them an “ex”, as that has a negative connotation when they were really the loves of my life. They met me exactly where I was ready to be met at that point in my life.
Perhaps “former partner” is more accurate.

To me, the success of a relationship isn’t based on how long it lasted, but rather how deeply you loved when you were in it, and how much love and growth you still experienced after it.

It is not based on the chemicals that you thought meant Love when you first got into the relationship, but rather the actual love that was still there when you got out of it. Did you forgive them and did you forgive yourself? Did you still find a way to love them as a person even after all the pain? How are you a different person after being with this person? Do you wish nothing but the best for your former partners or do you still have bitterness that it didn’t workout? True unconditional love is you wanting them to be happy, even if it’s not with you.

The truth is I never had a failed relationship.

They were all unbelievably successful. And the testament to that is this simple fact: Not only do I still talk to my ex-girlfriends, but I am still in absolute love with each and every one of them, even though we don’t talk as much anymore.

What kind of person would want to hear their current partner say they’re still in love with their ex’s? One who understands what Love actually means. Often times, we confuse Love with life compatibility, intimacy, and relationship status. They are not mutually exclusive. Just because a relationship dynamic has shifted doesn’t mean that the love is not there. And just because we’re not sharing this life together in a romantic way and don’t talk everyday, doesn’t mean that they are no longer a part of who I am. The only reason that I’m able to love as deeply as I do now is because of my shortcomings in the past…because of the heart ache I experienced. Each person that we fall in love with is directly part of the butterfly effect of each person we fell in love with in the past, and how that relationship ended…

I’ve been able to experience such freedom in the love that I now have for my former partners.
When I explore a new love interest, my former partners do not react with jealousy or anger, but rather with support and appreciation. All three of them get genuinely excited, and even want to meet the person who’s making me happy. It makes me feel so humbled that I’ve been with such powerful women in my life that truly want to see me fully loved and appreciated. I sometimes don’t even know what I did to deserve this, and why I’ve been so lucky in love, but I am deeply grateful for it.

When we broke up, I never had the “You’ll never find someone better than me” attitude. Instead, I told them that I HOPE they find something even more expansive than what we had. As we are all constantly shifting, I acknowledge the fact that who they were when we dated, is not who they are today. It doesn’t take away from what we had
Because we loved each other the best way we knew how to at that time, we were able to grow as individuals. One partner isn’t “better” than the other. They are all connected to each other. They are all a part of each other. The ceiling of each relationship is the basement of the next one.

They all taught me what I want and didn’t want. What I value and what I can let go of. I am now only able to love as deeply as I do, because my former partners loved me as deeply as they did. Our lives are inner-connected. With all three of my former partners, we didn’t “break up” because we hated each other, but rather because we loved each other so much that we knew it was time to set each other free. We knew that we already served our purpose in each other’s lives, and it was time to expand individually. This is why we are still in each other’s lives. It is because we loved each other unconditionally, and still do. Remember, love is an infinite source and no one person has a monopoly on it in your life. You have found it in the past and you will find it again. You can even find it right now, if you choose.

To my former partners:

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I will never forget what we had, and will always honor the lessons you taught me. Thank you all for being part of my path. Thank you all for loving me through my darkest of times. You were clearly my soul mates, and were my angels during my spiritual evolution on this Earth.

I will never forget how much our relationship helped me grow. Not from a place of attachment to the past, but from a place of honoring the beautiful times we had together. Thank you for everything that you have taught me, and for giving me the opportunity to practice true unconditional love. For wanting to see me happy, even if it’s not with you anymore.

You are all beautiful human beings who mean so much to me, and you deserve nothing but the best. Love is not about time and space. It is about presence. Thank you for honoring who I was, and for accepting who I now am. Thank you for your forgiveness, and your apologies. Thank you for honoring what you felt at that time, and for trusting your own path. For the rest of this life, I will always care about you, love you, and wish you all the happiness and love that this life has to offer.

I carry all the past experiences I’ve had deep within my heart, as one accumulated energy of pure love. You have all expanded my heart and it is only because of the growing pains of that expansion, that I am now able to love fearlessly and deeply. It is because of you I am the man who I am today. I love you, and thank you.!!!

tanks 4 dis message dat makes me feel relief.it very hurt 2 end a relatnship u investd so much on bt i dnt tink he worth my cry,beg n praying endlesly 2 stil acept me back despite d fact he was d one offended me bt i tink i should let him be 4 d past 7months.i nw love him as my past.tanks so much

adedayoadeoye:
tanks 4 dis message dat makes me feel relief.it very hurt 2 end a relatnship u investd so much on bt i dnt tink he worth my cry,beg n praying endlesly 2 stil acept me back despite d fact he was d one offended me bt i tink i should let him be 4 d past 7months.i nw love him as my past.tanks so much

thanks my lady

I wish my former partner could see this letter

Always writing letters

Martin0:
thanks my lady

smile u are welcom

adedayoadeoye:
smile u are welcom

I great you twe twe

Martin0:
I great you twe twe

meaning

Me DAT always move on before we break up ni. No time to say "no time"

adedayoadeoye:
meaning

shuu greetings nor get two meanings Na

Martin0:
shuu greetings noor get two meanings Na

Ok

classicTutor:
Ok

weitin happen ee

Martin0:
shuu greetings nor get two meanings Na

i dnt understand dats y ask now ok o tanks

adedayoadeoye:
i dnt understand dats y ask now ok o tanks

good girl

Ur massage is quite touching, tanx 4 d relief .

fancy4eve:
Ur massage is quite touching, tanx 4 d relief .

you are welcome my dear! hope you are fine

why should I be good with my ex when she purposely hurt my feelings, my ex remains my past and I pray i don't cross path with her

keezy125:
why should I be good with my ex when she purposely hurt my feelings, my ex remains my past and I pray i don't cross path with her

na WA for you oo

Martin0:
good girl

i am nt a girl i'm a lady.smile

lolz
nice one

adedayoadeoye:
i am nt a girl i'm a lady.smile

oh OK oo good lady

Martin0:
oh OK oo good lady

better