₦airaland Forum

Nigerian ladies with desperation to get married..as if it a ticket to one paradise like that.. Now see!!

My brother, my own advice is since you said you don't wanna have a child from her again.. And if you still need more children, you have no option than to divorce her. She wasn't faithful at first. Those are the kind of wives that are capable of stabbing their husbands to death over night.

You can't but pains and suffering with your hard earned money in the name of marriage. I can boldly tell you that your wife is not a good Christian. If she was, she would understand the dangers ahead, and if she truly loved you, she wouldn't deceived you. Or is she uneducated that she didn't understand the meaning of Genotype?

Love with deception, is that one love?

PefHouse:
Why are many people ignorant about this issue, you had the opportunity even after u married, your lack of research is mind boggling.

I will still advice any AS-AS couple to go ahead with marriage if it will make them happy, just know your options. I know several couples who are both AS and have many children, one couple even has 5 kids, free of SS and they are happier than any AA couple I couple I know. Go ahead with your wife and check the genotype of your child before birth

Here are ur missed opportunities

- You married without a plan even after u knew both of u were AS. I laughed at the part that she failed the test, did u pass the test?
- After marriage you decided to conceived without exploring other conception options like genetic selection and IVF
- You conceived without doing a check on the genotype of the fetus at 10-12 weeks CVS
- You refused to check again at 12-15 weeks ameosynthesis
- You are making another mistake by destroying your home and still not researching how u can avoid the problem next time.

Go and get professional medical advice, speak to a genetist, its not all problems u bring to nairaland, more than half here are ignorant, but will still advice u anyway.

Mend your marriage and do your research, anyone still giving birth to SS children in 2018 shd be prosecuted, you either know your options, come to terms with them and plan. OR u avoid the marriage.

It is good as he brought it to NL, as anyone who wants to learn will learn. Did you know that I personally learnt from what you write here?

The girl and her family are not trying at all... though the girl luv u soo much. She soo self fish because she does not want to trade u with any1. Continue with her she can till give u SA by surprise... belive me. But na she go suffer ham pass.

This is a marriage of confusion! An hilarious marriage hahaha

1. She's a single mother

2. You are both AS after confirming from two different labs, dey tell you say na lie, yet you continue

3.As a Yoruba, you name the boy ikechukwu lolzz,

4. Lastly you have an SS as a son!


Bros who you offend?
The marriage was a joke from the beginning.

I'm sure your father in-law will be laughing uncontrollable by now
LMFAO!!

The girl and her family are not trying at all... though the girl luv u soo much. She soo self fish because she does not want to trade u with any1. Continue with her she can still give u AA by surprise... believe me. But na she go suffer ham pass.

extremelygolden:
Unfortunately the deed has been done already and you can't abandon her and your son now. A stitch in time, they say, saves nine, and there's no need crying over split milk.

I think the decision to pause bearing another child with her suffices. I just pray a miracle occurs and Ikechukwu is completely and permanently healed.

...in all u said nothing.no tangible tin to learn from anything u said except using this thread to practice idioms expression...

This is wickedness of the highest order. What kind of nonsense is this bikonu? I am a woman i cannot do such to a man in the name of getting married. Upon that she already has a child out of wedlock with another man she still had the heart to deceive u into this mess.

Pls op, there's nothing u'll do to ever be happy in this marriage. My advice is divorce her immediately don't even waste time. This is a deceit on the highest level.

Even if u decide to move on with her there's a probability of having another SS child. Divorce her asap for your own good. The wickedness is unbearable.

God forbid!!!

Cooleasy:
Ha! I find your personal story very touching. You have already seen too much blood! I respect you and I feel for you. I pray that God gives you happiness and also that He decrees 'never again' to tears and sorrow in your life. Amen.

Ha! Have seen much blood that will last me for a life time.
I tell God when my second brother was about giving up in my arms, that God if I see another death around me, I will just loose it. I won't be able to take it anymore. Please let these deaths stop! Those periods was heartwrenching. I pray no one witness their loved ones dying on their arms.. It's a terrible thing to go through in life. The helplessness cannot be described. May God help us.

Amen and amen to the bolded. Amen Lord Jesus.. Thank you.
God bless you amen

DonroxyII:
Ikechukwu indeed .... Why not Ike Eba

How this ur response take be advise he seeks

obi4eze:
Hmm...
This is deep. I really sympathize with you but I think you are to blame. Two different medical laboratories gave her genotype as AS but you still went ahead. Even if you divorce her look at what your poor son would be going through because you weren't a man but bowed to deceptive pressure.
It's your cross. Carry it!

Forget about the unfortunate son.
He is unfortunate
He'll live his destiny.
Call me insensitive but that's the bitter truth.

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

That family you married from is not a good family . Moving forward, you have to end that marriage. You 've no excuse for breeding ss children now that you 've gotten the knowledge. Don't believe in any form of deception like blackmailing you that God will perfect it. Move on with your life but always Take care of that mistake both of you have made. That marriage is doomed ...,that child won't forgive both of you.

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

Do not waste your time, aside the deceitful marriage she led you into, she is leading you into an everlasting life of sorrow and it will drain you.

Quit now before its too late, that child may survive but I doubt it though. I know of a family who lost three lovely kids in just few years due to sickle cell, the wife finally left infact she ran away and the man remarried. He is now blessed with two lovely kids.

If you have enough fund for bone marrow transplant which runs into millions or the stem cell( not too sure) then don't quit.

extremelygolden:
Unfortunately the deed has been done already and you can't abandon her and your son now. A stitch in time, they say, saves nine, and there's no need crying over split milk.

I think the decision to pause bearing another child with her suffices. I just pray a miracle occurs and Ikechukwu is completely and permanently healed.

Keep deceiving yourself.
I'll leave that marriage without second thought.
I won't even care about the UNFORTUNATE son who chose ss....
I WON'T LIVE MY LIFE FOR ANYONE.

@OP Any marriage built on lies, will not stand the true test of time, I think the best thing to do now is to meet your priest or Pastor to nullify the marriage. Lying to your partner for a case as serious as this is a crime against humanity.

But you messed up big time, 2 lab results from different laboratories would have been a pointer to you.

iupac120:
This is a serious issue. Op, you're now a married man and sending your wife away will not be the solution. The mistake you made initially was threatening for AS and your wife decided to play along which is deception on her part. My genotype is AS but before I develop feeling for any lady the first thing to ask is your genotype before I would disclose mine .
secondly, you didn't stand you ground after the mandatory test which would have averted this episode from playing and giving the poor child pains and resource drain on your family.
However, sit your wife down and discuss with her. She will always be part of you and as a Christian, divorce is not seeked lightly.
The next approach to take is to seek for medical counselling from professionals in genotype and get first-hand information on the way forward for the marriage.
Finally, as a man always stand on your opinions once they don't contradict God's commandments.

Keep deceiving yourself.
6 out of 10 girls that really like you will lie about their genotype. That's how girls are wired.
The only reason why you'd ask that question in the first place is because you're either as or ss

Exwizard:
seriously I don't get, after two different test, everyone was bullying you, so u went 9n with the marriage because of their bullies?

Do you have a small stature that allow anybody to bully you or what?

Guy just carry your cross

It could be bullying via emotional blackmail. I'm small-statured but dem no born d bully papa. say Wetin happen?! To d OP, may GOD grant u the wisdom on what to do my brother.

My brother broken relationship is better than broken marriage. But since its like this now, am a christian and ll not advise u to send her away because both of u share d blame. Keep her to help u to take care of Ikechukwu and may be seek for specialist doctors advise b4 next child. It can be handled medically. Take it easy who do u want to send her to now. If u hear she committed suicide u ll not like it

aonag:
Is it only in Africa or nigeria this AS SS thing happens? I have not seen oyibo person suffering from this... can someone help out please?

Lol..
Yes Sickle cell disease can also be called 'Black man's disease. The Caucasian genes do not carry the sickle genes and suffer sickle cell disease. I'll tell you why. Natural evolution

Evolution in it's bid to ensure the black race does not go into extinction due to malaria caused by Plasmodium sp made the black man 'develop' sickle genes 'AS'. This sickle genes made it difficult for malaria parasites to survive whence they enter the red cells. Red cells naturally live for 120 days but once the parasite enters a red cells in a man with sickle gene 'AS', a natural cascade is innately engineered to force that red cells to 'auto-destruct' by becoming gradually sickle and 'kills itself' and the malaria parasite within it. This ensures the parasite doesn't live long enough to multiply and cause more problems for the patient and it also explains why AS genotypes hardly suffer severe malaria symptoms and ultimately explains why black Africans in general had survived malaria but the malaria parasite kept the white man from being able to enter Africa and colonize it until they developed quinine from bark of Cinchona trees found in central and southern America.

Unfortunately when nature tries to solve a problem by evolution it may unknowingly create another to 'balance out' issues. It created AS to save the black man from extinction but when AS 'clashes' with another AS, the sickle genes become dominant in 25% of cases in offsprings and get 'turn on' permanently as they now SS. All the red cells become permanently 'sickle shaped', cannot live up to 120 days and cannot carry enough oxygen.

The white man ab initio didn't need nature's protection from the parasite as malaria was not a problem in his natural habitat so he didn't need the protective 'sickle gene' to fight malaria. White people are majorly AA.

That's too bad. How does she think she can have peace with such a huge lie. Even if not for the marriage, what about the child she just brought to this life to suffer and make life hard for both her and her husband? Take care of an aneamic child is not easy, and at the end of the day, most of them still die. She and her parents ate wicked people.

DonTim1:
My advice will be tough.

Euthanasia and divorce!

You deserve to be happy!

Euthanasia
Of who?
Lol
Mad man

If the foundation is faulty, what would the Righteous do? And I'm not even religious but that sums it up. A relationship built on deceit is sure to come crumbling. It's a different case of you are in the know about the situation and intentionally walk into it based on faith and belief. But that you're deceived into is not your fault. You're within your right to walk out of the marriage. And I don't like the sound of " Bully " that you've been using. If you're matured enough to walk into a marriage, then you should be able to stand against bullying. You can't even be bullied in the first place. Take a decision and stand by it.

File for divorce joo!

If they could lie to you about something as big as this, they can kill you, who knows what else they are hiding from you.

You should have reported the matter to the church given that you were not strong enough to withstand the pressure.

Nevertheless, staying in the marriage will make everyone in it miserable.

A regular marriage goes through highs and lows.
How will yours survive the certain lows to come. If it was I, I shall end the marriage, it was founded on premeditated lie.

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

@OP... It is so sad that the innocent child has to go through this pain. However, You dont need to divorce your wife as she is your wife despite the fact the union was based on deceit. Moreover, You and your wife should work together to help the poor boy's situation medically. Also, the deed has been done, there is possibility that your next three children to be SS free...since, there is only 1(one SS) as to every first 4(four) offsprings produce. There is only 25% chance of giving birth to an SS patient.

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

God is our savour, take the matter to a good man of God.

Never marry out of pity.

Never allow anyone decide for you on what concerns your life


Never you ignore the importance of Science


You caused it now you bear it.

Nothing. God can't do sha.


A friend who happens to be A Yoruba Radio presenter in Ibadan "Omo Oranmiyan" that's his Radio Name , he once told me they've discovered a potent cure for Sickle cell locally and he has the Mans contact.

I don't know how true this is but he seemed to be serious. I will make enquiry for you and pm you when I'm tru.

Stay blessed and keep praying. As to your marriage , no one will tell u what to do. You are a man

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

Don't not panic yet. There was a time some doctors did a talk show in LUTH on how the genotype of person can be changed. As at then it was about 2.5m. What they do is to take the a small amount of the bone marrow of a person that is AA and inject the person that is SS. It will now reproduce over time. According to the talk, they are not cutting anybody up. As at then, it was only done in UBTH. Uniben teaching hospital.You can make enquiries.

.

May God help you bro

iupac120:
This is a serious issue. Op, you're now a married man and sending your wife away will not be the solution. The mistake you made initially was threatening for AS and your wife decided to play along which is deception on her part. My genotype is AS but before I develop feeling for any lady the first thing to ask is your genotype before I would disclose mine .
secondly, you didn't stand you ground after the mandatory test which would have averted this episode from playing and giving the poor child pains and resource drain on your family.
However, sit your wife down and discuss with her. She will always be part of you and as a Christian, divorce is not seeked lightly.
The next approach to take is to seek for medical counselling from professionals in genotype and get first-hand information on the way forward for the marriage.
Finally, as a man always stand on your opinions once they don't contradict God's commandments.

why are you guys saying he shouldn't send his wife away? To keep making children that will come and suffer in this world? You people are funny.

extremelygolden:
Unfortunately the deed has been done already and you can't abandon her and your son now. A stitch in time, they say, saves nine, and there's no need crying over split milk.

I think the decision to pause bearing another child with her suffices. I just pray a miracle occurs and Ikechukwu is completely and permanently healed.

You're not serious... Maka chi!!

Werey, ikechukwu?

Ekweremadu nko, Alabosi, Oniro jati jati.