₦airaland Forum

Lateralmaths:
what do you mean by you don't think it was rape? that line erased every other thing you wrote.

IamGodsGrace:
please can we communicate further? I need these words in my lige

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

victorian:
Such aunties are to be arrested.. That's very terrible! Children both male and female should voice out when raped! Men raped by women should also arrest such mentally unstable women
Women too should arrest such men who rapes. It's completely bad.

Parents should be close to their kids, so when such things happen, the children will easily tell their parents.

When I was very little, I should be 7years old then, my cousin who was way older tried raping me, he started with fingering me. I was like what's the uncle doing? He said I shouldn't tell my parents and he will buy chocolate for me tomorrow. In my mind I was like this is wrong, why is he touching me this way? And this guy came for the weekend.
Omo! Immediately my parents came back from work, late in the night
I ran to my mum and told her what happened. She was very angry, she told my dad and the cousin was really spoken harshly that night and sent off very early the next day. So parents be close to your kids, and they will tell u virtually anything or threats from extended family or strangers.
Such boys should voice out to their mums or dad. Cut off such evil quickly!

OLUPRECIOUS:
What should u do...
The first thing u can do is to forgive him and also forgive urself. Virginity is a pride of a lady but u don't need to be a virgin before u can have happy home(I mean virginity does not guarantee you happy home). 2ndly, open up to your spiritual father or mother or somebody you can confide with..tell him or her your predicament (don't kill yourself or die in silent) as it is now, u need help u can no longer help your self. As regards to d guy, forget about him and move on with your life . He is not your husband, he just took advantage of u and ur weakness, if u give him second chance or allow him into your life again, he will ruin your life completely and cause more damage to ur injury(I wonder why u said u still love him). Please run for your life. Lastly, rededicate your life to Jesus Christ, allow Him to pilot and take complete control of ur life, listen to music and christian sermon. Observe your quiet time and tell God to connect you with a right man. Peace be unto you.

smileing:
I was hopping to see a concrete evidence to confirm that he is not the one
was blinded by love too

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

MarieSucre:
No he honest, some men also demonised men here by telling her she was foolish to go and see a man at all. Check the previous comments.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

smileing:
ok
I ve not considered reporting him but if I do I don't think I have a strong evidence apart from the broken hymen.
is there anything else I need to know before reporting him that ll substantiate my evidence

smileing:
He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.


Aunty, this part is the one thing that'd haunt your night long into the marriage if you get in. You've courted for a yr and he hasn't improved. If your help can't improve his spirituality (which is the fundamental solution), then you should probably wait. Pray for a man as Godfearing as you'd want. CRITICAL.

99miles:
Mad people everywhere !

insperyadyou:
you've had many unpleasant experiences. What do we call them?

MarieSucre:
He might still turn out to be a good husband?? loool a rapist WTF

smileing:
ok
I ve not considered reporting him but if I do I don't think I have a strong evidence apart from the broken hymen.
is there anything else I need to know before reporting him that ll substantiate my evidence

joytothewise:
My contribution is : forgive him and let him go.... you have your faults! Since you have gone to Pastors and they told you NO No, but taking him to court blah blah... is not Godly.... he feels guilty already !!!

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

Goldmaxx:
you have big boobies ooo :oyou have big boobies ooo

smileing:
I was hopping to see a concrete evidence to confirm that he is not the one
was blinded by love too

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Diso60090:
Which pastor? Suleman will do part 2 of this hardcore movie

faith123456:
I dnt think he raped you, he luvs you so much that he couldn't hold himself that fateful day, tho he has been holding himself all this while, and it just happened that day and you never saw it coming neither did he, the bitter truth is that you luv him so much and can't report or get him arrested, you both luv each other,and he is ready for marriage, I would advise you accept his proposal and move on, try to forgive him, cos I know he might have gone on his knees to plead for ur forgiveness, it just happened dear.