Take heart

I put it to you that you were not raped. but rather you were carried away by emotions and surrendered to his lustful advances

also after getting negative Revelations from pastors. you now feel you have eaten your cake.

any advise to prosecute him is not wise

pray for forgiveness and move on change your mindset of being used....
you have not lost your value at all.
you still deserve the best.

Getting married to a man who raped you will forever haunt you.

Kindly take a walk, heal and wait for that loving man who will respect and appreciate you.

Causes of temptation must be removed.

A lot of people are telling him to report him to the authorities. Did all of you read between lines? He likes this guy, can't leave him, wants to be flowered on her wedding night etc. Rape is rape. But this was someone she's dating. The Op knows too well, that dating someone comes with consequences. Why date someone if you can't pay the price?

You did mention how much this dude have spend on you.

You can't marry him or your family will not allow you marry him. His financial stability is what is driving you towards him. If not, why would you be so close to him in a way he would have taken advantage of you?

If you know you don't love him that much, why date him?

You are just looking for sympathy here. Move on with your life, life is not perfect, it doesn't always work the way we planned it.

You made a mistake in the first place by putting yourself in such situation. He didn't kidnap you and rape you.

You can report him if that makes you happy and accuse him of rape. But I Know very well your conscience is killing you.

You lead him on, made him believe he's the right person for you. Now you are trying to do what women do best.

Some of here don't even know the whole story.

I will never support rape, but women think in a certain way.

If reporting him makes you feel better, go ahead!

But I know you will not. From your replies I can see you feel bad about the whole situation.

Those who are telling you that he's not your husband, how did they know?

Had it been they said otherwise, would have married him?

Stop listening to what people are saying.

It also looks like you are not yet mature enough.

You still don't want to settle down. You still want to play around.

This is my final take. If you like him, marry him. If you don't, then move on. Other guys here are saying get him arrested. They are not saints. 95% of women lost their virginity out of their onw will. Not rape, but similar to this type of situation. It feels sad sex afterwards. But don't let that ruin you. Like you said, you are just looking to reshape your mind set. Had it been this guy kidnapped you and all that. Then I will be on the side of you reporting him and going through with all the drama.

Don't date if you don't want sex, don't visit a guy in his house if you don't want sex, don't accept money and gifts from a guy if you don't want sex. Don't just be around any guys in an excluded area or place.

Nothing is free in this life. And nobody is perfect.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

Did He Rape U Or It Was Consentual? Cuz Dis Ur Story Get K-leg.

let her go drag herself in the mud when she also stand the chance of letting go. If the said fiance isn't attractive to the O.P, she wouldn't have gave in to him. If you've bn fooled by a lady before you'd know better. And he sees himself as the Ops' husband already, he probably wanted to make sure he's not being fooled. OP is pained now because they can't marry each other because 'spiritually', they are not meant, if the thing had eventually worked out, she'd have bn less pained and still it's still not the guys' fault they won't be together at the end, 'It just doesn't end up happening'. OP is just feeling what every other girls do feel after breakup.. They all (including the non virgins, even professional prostitutes) always regret giving their bodies to the men that never keep them. Her own major issue is just the 'Virginity and Wedding night ecstasy (or probably fantasy)'. I am against rape and if she thinks she can take the shames, let her see the end of the man that would have bn her husband if not for spiritual (Religion) reason.

U spoke my mind! She's feeling used cos her spiritualists adviced her against marrying him, op is just pained she lost her virginity to a man she does'nt want to marry n looking for ways to get back at d innocent man, even contemplating reporting to d police, haba!. He did not dump her, he wants to do d needful, marry her, n even tho d op claims to love him, she still wants to dump him cos of her spiritualists advise, n nobody among d teenage advisers here, sees anything wrong with that. Reverse d scenario n watch them attack d guy for looking for an excuse to dump her.

thorpido:
Do you consider reporting him to the authorities? What he did is rape and he has no excuses for doing that.

You don't think your people will like him,in your heart of hearts,you don't really think he is the one.
You should wear your shoes to walk,innit?

Have you heard the guys own side of the story, fear girls.. Someone you claimed to love, spend time with him, perhaps kissing and smooching and what where you expecting.. It's her first time of having sex, that's why she blamed the man, due to the fear of having sex for the first time.. It's not easy to deflower a lady even with her own consent, talk more of rape without her permission... Girls will always blame, d man.. Girls will say they don't want sex, but little kiss and romance with them, they will like to have it and still be shouting no, leave me and when you want to get up from their body, you will discover how firm they held you with their legs not to get up and they will moarn more, giving a go ahead order.. After which they will get their self and blame you, for doing that.. Rubbish..