₦airaland Forum

godfrey01:
the girl I am planning of getting hooked up to , say she is AS, me I am AB. last result from the blood donation I did confirmed I am AB.. hope AS and AB getting married nor go bring wahala for our children, because my dad has never spent a dime treating me till date meaning that I have never be down health wise, And me I don't want to give birth to a child that will be draining my income to the health sector....

You are the second Nigerian I am hearing is AB, I did some research about it some years back because one guy that wanted to marry me was AB and I am AS. I couldn't really get anything conclusive( the relationship didn't get to grow so I didn't bother asking around any more) except that the AB genotype is not really common among us here.

You should ask an hematologist.

The same happened to me,my child's mother lied. most of our ladies from south west don't have ethics. Well my second child had sickle cell and he died 3 months ago when he was 2 years 5 months, Its selfishness for any lady to do that , to lie because of marriage. My son suffered , he always had pains. we were always sleeping in hospitals. I have not married my child's mother . I do have hatred for her for lying and putting a child through that. SS is not a joke. No child deserves sickle cell and no relationship is worth having a child with SS. No "man of god" can cure sickle cell. If a man says they can perform that miracle, let us test them first by injecting them with HIV

You sound like a Christian and if truly you are a Christian, these are the options available for you if you are mindful of eternity.
1. NO divorce, NO re-marry except she is dead
2. You can not send her parking or kill because she is not just your wife alone but also mother of your child.
3. Accept your cross and ready to carry it with more love to her. accept been deceived and enjoy the implication of your choice.
4. 3 days fasting and prayer can heal your sick home and wounded happiness.
God bless your home

muzeze77:
The same happened to me,my child's mother lied. most of our ladies from south west don't have ethics. Well my second child had sickle cell and he died 3 months ago when he was 2 years 5 months, Its selfishness for any lady to do that , to lie because of marriage. My son suffered , he always had pains. we were always sleeping in hospitals. I have not married my child's mother . I do have hatred for her for lying and putting a child through that. SS is not a joke. No child deserves sickle cell and no relationship is worth having a child with SS. No "man of god" can cure sickle cell. If a man says they can perform that miracle, let us test them first by injecting them with HIV

You are very correct by saying no MAN can cure SS but agree with me that GOD can use even you to cure HIV, SS and even ebola if God wishes. never say never

NoToPile:
That's a wrong info please

It's a 25 percent or one in four chances for EVERY pregnancy

Shut up and read my follow up comments.

MarieSucre:
When we say marriage is not an achievement, you people will tag us angry, bitter feminist. This is what happens when you keep saying "marriage! marriage! marriage! Shiloh 2030! Shiloh 2045! And then women start doing desperately dangerously nonsense.

Oga she lied to you, you knew what you wanted out of marriage but she deceived you, and it seems children are important to you. Be wary and don't be guilted by anybody. If she lied about this one thing. What else was she also lying about?

You sound bittered though, what is the mean of .... and it seems children are important to you?. Have you help the man in need help by anyway through your needless hatred for his wife. You really sound unlovable.

muzeze77:
The same happened to me,my child's mother lied. most of our ladies from south west don't have ethics. Well my second child had sickle cell and he died 3 months ago when he was 2 years 5 months, Its selfishness for any lady to do that , to lie because of marriage. My son suffered , he always had pains. we were always sleeping in hospitals. I have not married my child's mother . I do have hatred for her for lying and putting a child through that. SS is not a joke. No child deserves sickle cell and no relationship is worth having a child with SS. No "man of god" can cure sickle cell. If a man says they can perform that miracle, let us test them first by injecting them with HIV

stop there. No man can but God can. Last week 2 Hiv patients got heal. God heals everyday I challenge you to bring the sickle cell child to Salvation Ministry. Just believe and see God in action.

otherway:
Shut up and read my follow up comments.

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

My brother, your marriage was built on the foundations of deception therefore it can never last nor stand.

God has exposed your fake wife and her lying parents for the evil that they are.

You have every right to request for a divorce as the foundation is faulty and can never last.

Don't let anyone deceive you again that it will work. Be smart and move on with your life.

Op take this Advice to heart.

iupac120:
This is a serious issue. Op, you're now a married man and sending your wife away will not be the solution. The mistake you made initially was threatening for AS and your wife decided to play along which is deception on her part. My genotype is AS but before I develop feeling for any lady the first thing to ask is your genotype before I would disclose mine .
secondly, you didn't stand you ground after the mandatory test which would have averted this episode from playing and giving the poor child pains and resource drain on your family.
However, sit your wife down and discuss with her. She will always be part of you and as a Christian, divorce is not seeked lightly.
The next approach to take is to seek for medical counselling from professionals in genotype and get first-hand information on the way forward for the marriage.
Finally, as a man always stand on your opinions once they don't contradict God's commandments.

[quote author=Aremolekunowo post=70194217][/quote]If you need children you have two options

1. marry another wife that has AA

2. If you are not into polygamy, divorce her and marry AA wife

If you don't need children, you have two options

1. Forgive her and continue to coupulate with a strong contraceptive

2. Divorce her because she may lie again and it may ruin your life

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

No body lied to you

You deceived yourself, you were aware of everything

You got a medical report twice and ingnored it. Believeing there will be a magic, when it blow up in your face now. You are blaming someone else.

Nonsense

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

It's your fault. You caused it, you have to deal/live with the consequences. God was merciful enough to 'open your eyes' at the right time, but you choosed to be bullied into the marriage. I honestly can't advise you to end your marriage, its up to you to decide.
Your marriage is fundamentally flawed in being built on deception and manipulation; thats evil. I doubt if God is in the relationship. Even if you choose to manage it, no guarantees it would last, cos the foundation is faulty.

For your son, there is hope. Stem cell transplant is possible and obtainable in Nigeria. If God provides for you, you should consider that early enough before the boy develops complications. Its expensive, but it would give both you and the child peace of mind. Again, you can hope and pray his condition is not severe. If you start early enough to give him good care, he would grow up a relatively healthy child. START NOW! Forget about children until you sort this issue of your wife out.

I see you about to repeat the same mistake again. Let whatever decision you take now be solely yours. Refuse to be influenced. At the end of the day, na you go deal with the consequences. Those that begged and manipulated you earlier, are now begging and feigning regret, if you allow that influence your decision, na you sabi.

You are a man, make a decision NOW! No one can do it for you. May God grant you courage to do the right thing.

And don't be deceived into marrying another wife while this one is still there. You are creating a bigger problem for yourself. You either continue with her, or disolve the marriage responsibly before you move on. Don't allow any 'man of God' to deceive you into hoping for a miracle of AA for other children if you continue with your wife.

Consider your options, count the cost and decide. With God on your side (if you know Him), you would conquer.

Lesson for others: The decision for Marriage has a life-long implication. If you allow yourself be deceived into it, or build it on falsehood, you and you alone would reap the fruits therefrom

czarina:
That marriage is invalid for the single reason that it was built on lies. Let's wait for for the elders




meanwhile, check my profile if you live in Jos and environs

God bless you Bro... there was no marriage in the first place

pls forgive your wife

OrangeDream:
She's 27. I would'nt know honestly cos it's more of a distance relationship. And she hardly tells me when she's ill cos in my own understanding, she does'nt want to scare me off. But i was once told how it goes with her anytime she's in crisis. I do travel to visit her once in a while.

Hmm, long distance relationship covers alot of loopholes . And I bet you, if you tell your family, they won't support your making her your wife, cause she's a sickler.
Are u ready for the bumpy ride ahead? She won't die, if that's what u are scared of,cause she's in her 20s.

But be rest assured crisis will come. Are u ready to see her go through unbearable pains, with tears streaming down her eyes, even after taking her medications? And u feel helpless cause u can't understand whatelse to do, than to wait patiently while the pains reduces. Are u ready to spend money on her medications every raining or cold weather season?
If you feel your love for her is strong enough to go through it all. Then go ahead, marry her.
But if u were my brother, I will tell u to withdraw from making her your wife. It's not an easy ride at all.
The emotional torture is even more than the money u will spend.

Think carefully, marry someone who lives within your town. Or take some leave off work, especially during the raining season, travel to where she lives and spend a month with her. Whatever u see and witness will give u the final decision and step to take.

That's all I can say.

This is what the sovereign Lord says;

Proverb 22:3

" The shrewed one sees the danger and conceals himself, but the inexperienced keep right on going and suffer the consequences"

...A word is enough for the wise
...The one who has ears let him hear.

Is it just me or what? I honestly don't buy this story. Too cheap.

My brother is a very sad news but u can not marry another woman again because if u marry any woman now u won't make heaven because God did not support second wife. there is nothingu can do about it than to put it in prayer for God to give u AA children.

You really made a mistake, you fell for her cheap lies, I won't advice you to divorce her, you have to live with her like that and pray for miracle to happen.

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

see my brother , u have suffered !!
I really feel for u ! , family pressure is very powerful!
now a poor boy has been brought into this world to suffer




so the solution is kick her out by force!!
not u ,get some sort of security( like police) to do it

infact as I am thinking of it sef ur wife and her family are vexing even me sef

divorce her!

leave that woman and her family, they've brought suffering to bought suffering to both u and ur child because of desperation ( selfish Ness) to be married!!


ps don't listen to those that tell u not to divorce her , it's not their life!!
it's not them that is going through this !

u can go ahead and pray and fast for days for a miracle and whether it happens or not

divorce her , don't listen to any religious or cultural shenanigans

barikay:
stop there. No man can but God can. Last week 2 Hiv patients got heal. God heals everyday I challenge you to bring the sickle cell child to Salvation Ministry. Just believe and see God in action.

my Brother even though I believe in the God, No pastor or man of god can cure sickle cell... Religion institution have become a problem in our society and I think we as a people need to use wisdom when dealing with delicate issues like Sickle cell, both parties should know their genotype and make sure they are compatible, God help those who help themselves rather than running from pillar to post in search of Miracles from all these dubious men of god

Aremolekunowo:
Greetings to my people of nairalanders, I met my wife around 2015 and we dated for almost a year and attended all the necessary church and family teachings.

She told me she was a single mother, and all the men that dated her before I came to her left her because of that,I promise I won't leave her for having a baby outside wedlock.

The relationship keep on growing and I told her about my AS genotype and I made it clear to her that nothing will make me marry AS lady because of sickle cell children palavar. she told me that she is genotype AA. We continue our relationship did introduction and fixed our wedding date, now a month and two weeks to our wedding we went for mandatory test in our church clinic behold she failed the genotype test it was AS, right there I told her I no dey do again, she rejected the result and claimed vehemently that she is AA. second day we did confirmatory test it was still the same thing.

Her parents called me and told me both of them were AA and there is no way their daughter can be AS gene. they later brought some previous test (fake) of her AA stuff. I was bullied by every one around to go ahead since it was just few weeks to the wedding that it was manipulations, though my spirit was not willing again but I was compelled by all to go ahead that the thing has change back to AA she also said so that it has changed back to original AA. We go ahead and marry sha. She took in immediately after nine month she gave birth to a baby boy which I named Ikechukwu though we are both Yoruba's but I love Igbo people so much because I grew up with many of them. After some months after birth, Ikechukwu begin some strange sickness we begin to take the boy in and outside hospitals, spending the little income I was getting I decided to do Genotype test for d boy my wife resist it but I went ahead behold it was SS(sickle cell)

immediately I show her the result she went on her knees begging me, I called her father and informed him about it he invites me to his place and he too was begging me that he was also AS and not AA as he claimed before; now every is begging me again that I should not break my marriage that is based on deception, I have done everything that will make her leave my house except violent she refused to go. Every one is bullying me and begging me again, now non of them have supported me in any way for the boy expensive treatment.

IK is now a year old, am not willing to have another child with her again, please my people what should I do , and what's the best way to make her leave my house for at leat 2 to 3 years? please advice your brother and son, thanks and sorry for the long epistle God bless you all.

I feel sad for u bro.
Is ur wife ibo?

That marriage is invalid. Process your divorce.

That woman is satanic. Oh my God, such a poor child. If only people know what it feels like to live with such a disease....

Divorce her.

victorian:
Hmm, long distance relationship covers alot of loopholes . And I bet you, if you tell your family, they won't support your making her your wife, cause she's a sickler.
Are u ready for the bumpy ride ahead? She won't die, if that's what u are scared of,cause she's in her 20s.

But be rest assured crisis will come. Are u ready to see her go through unbearable pains, with tears streaming down her eyes, even after taking her medications? And u feel helpless cause u can't understand whatelse to do, than to wait patiently while the pains reduces. Are u ready to spend money on her medications every raining or cold weather season?
If you feel your love for her is strong enough to go through it all. Then go ahead, marry her.
But if u were my brother, I will tell u to withdraw from making her your wife. It's not an easy ride at all.
The emotional torture is even more than the money u will spend.

Think carefully, marry someone who lives within your town. Or take some leave off work, especially during the raining season, travel to where she lives and spend a month with her. Whatever u see and witness will give u the final decision and step to take.

That's all I can say.

Hummmm.. This is serious.What has always ring on my head is that, where will i find another like her? This is another major fear in me. What about child bearing? She's had one through CS. What are the chances left with her? How does it go with them please. Sorry, i will be asking alot more questions and i really don't feel comfortable disclosing everything online. May i have your contact please? Or let you have mine?.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to share your views here, please..Just post, no need to register...Some of my extended colleagues on the forum are really saying something saddd. Let's hear your experienced views there -

https://www.econjobrumors.com/topic/how-do-you-balance-working-hard-with-marriage

Read every post and you will be "flagabasted".

Between Men and Women, Who is the Devil?

cos, ladies are fond of saying, "men are evil, unworthy, poisonous and heartless"

now see the length women can go just to get what they selfishly want.
though, the opposite gender has its own, but let's not curse men, bcoz, all human beings are unfaithful.

this is wickedness. but I will still blame the OP cos he INTENTIONALLY fell into the woman's trap, which is not manly.

otherway:
So sad cos you are just unlucky.It is usually one in four children but it came first.

Untrue this. You clearly do not understand the 1 in 4 law.It is one in four (25percent) for each pregnancy. During a subsequent/ next pregnancy a 25 percent SS baby can win the probability rate and come again...each pregnancy is one in four
Another pregnancy can happen like that and we now have 3 kids with the SS genotype...who beat the probability odds to come into being
One in four is for EACH pregnancy
One in four does not mean that once you have an SS child, that the other babies you have will be free of it

I hope this is clearer to you now

Hmm...it cant work. it was based on intentional lies. it can never work. Leave her if she cant leave u...its sad really.

merahki:
Untrue this. You clearly do not understand the 1 in 4 law.It is one in four (25percent) for each pregnancy. During a subsequent/ next pregnancy a 25 percent SS baby can win the probability rate and come again...each pregnancy is one in four
Another pregnancy can happen like that and we now have 3 kids with the SS genotype...who beat the probability odds to come into being
One in four is for EACH pregnancy
One in four does not mean that once you have an SS child, that the other babies you have will be free of it

I hope this is clearer to you now

All of you quoting this are stupid.

I have sent a follow up comment on page 10 explaining in details what i mean cos we all are saying the same thing in different ways.

let me resend it.


Nah wah o. We are saying exactly the same thing. In same vane 1 in 4 chances could be AS or even AA.

When AS marries AS the following are the possible genotype of their children

AA
AS
AS
SS

The probability of having AA and SS is 0.25 but AS is 0.5.

There are no guarantee that any of your child will be AA or AS, they could all be AA,AS or SS which makes it a dangerous gamble.

MrHighSea:
1 out of 4 kids being SS?
Very wrong.
Infact, ur first 10 kids can be SS. Each is subjected to SS probability of 0.25.
Its dt bad.

you are the one that is wrong, didn't you do genetics in biology in SSS class, it is one out of four that will be SS, two will be AS, while one AA

@Esty57, pls read the first two replies above.
Those two posters agree with me.