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Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by PatrickOkunima(m): 9:33am On Sep 01, 2018
tabithababy:
.

How much is the piece of advice

It's 100% FREE! It's not all matters we discuss in public.
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Nobody: 9:36am On Sep 01, 2018
GreatDad19:
Hello nlanders

This is an update to my old thread from last month https://www.nairaland.com/4647838/wifes-vagina-loose-please

I experienced some negative feedback but was able to receive help from a generous lady who sent me a pm and advised me on what to do. I ended up buying what this said lady suggested for my wife and I thought at this point maybe this issue would be solved. Despite me avoiding this situation for years, I finally decided to address it after frustration.

After purchasing this item, I sat down with my wife in the calmest way possible to explain how I’ve not been satisfied sexually due to her giving birth. I explained to her that I felt her vagina had loosened after the birth of our child and I handed over the product that I had bought for her. My wife stayed silent all throughout the time I spoke to her. When I finished talking she gave me a very nasty look and left the room without saying a word and also eased as she left. Since that day I have been living in pure misery.

My wife has refused to sleep in the same bed with me, she has deprived me of sex. She barely cooks. Every time I try to talk to her, she shuts me or up or she doesn’t respond. She’s constantly on her phone talking to one friend or the other. Completely disrespecting me in my own house. Yesterday night was the last straw and we got into a heated fight. She compared me to one of her ex’s and claimed that it was a mistake that she married me. I ended up calling her all sorts of names and told her to leave my house. I called her mother, and she was begging on her behalf but I’m no longer tolerating her nasty behaviour. It was God that stopped me from slapping her yesterday, because I’ve never been insulted like that all my life. This morning she’s packed her stuff and she has left with our daughter.
At this point I’m falling out of love with this ungrateful woman. Since the birth of our child it’s been hell and I’ve tried my best. At this point I don’t know if I should just leave my wife or try to reconcile. I have tried to my best ability but she’s very ungrateful and miserable. I believe our marriage is dead at this point and I don’t think there’s any way to revive it. She has completely let herself go emotionally and physically. She doesn’t care about herself nor myself.

I just want to know the next wise step to take
Thanks.

I'm sorry for the situation but let me give me opinion...
1) If ur wife tells u that your dick is too small for her since after u got married and she has been looking for herbs and finally she brings one for you to drink.In all honesty,I know you will not take it lightly with her,you won't even see it as hwe trying to help,but a bruise to your ego... I just want u to imagine how she would have felt after u said these things to her,more so, it's your baby she had. I can confirm to you that there are many married women who have not birthed yet have wide vaginas.
2) Pls don't be deceived by all the posts u see on nairaland , vaginas are naturally elastic and would return to shape after childbirth. The sex workers and runs girls who claim to have tighter ones use an awful lot of things to tighten (alums,lemon,lime,native potions).The consequenxe is an increase in cervical cancer which is at an alarmingly high rate in the country now and these liquids also take a till on the men who patronize then,some end up with ED.

Unfortunately most men just have sex and not make love. Difference being that sex appeala to the physical act and body,but love making appeals to the emotion,feelings, and can only happen wen the partner truly love each other

Inconclusion, only you can save this marriage if you want to. U need to ask if u truly love this woman from your heart. Remember you are not perfect yourself with your own shortcomings. Buy true love covers all the flaws because the partners are not just sexmates they are friends,companions, share things,play with each other.

Imagine one good evening u both having a nice funny conversation with her and u both laugh so hard ,giggle and take a bath together then onto the bed,,,,size won't matter at that point,body shape won't matter ,you just want to bond with her soul ...that is love,and what marriage should be....Love the wife of your youth take care of your children ..

If u marry another, she born, it slacks wat will you do, chase her away again...

I'm not judging u for expressing yourself, I'm saying u should pay more attention to building a connection of love and everything will fall in place irrespective of both your shortcomings

Don't mind this generation that is sex crazed, sex is overrated . People make permanent decisions over a 3-10minute pleasure. at the expense of value of life ..
Pls fix your home

16 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by sheettle(m): 9:53am On Sep 01, 2018
Roland17:
Young man, there are so many things wrong with your approach. You have single-handedly and selfishly I must add ruined your marriage.

Did you seriously think a single conversation about a lose vagina would be enough? It should be a continuous reassuring conversation. You did not even discuss the problem with her before researching and concluding on a possible solution on your own. As if that was not enough you went ahead to present a solution during the first conversation!!!! You have traumatized your wife emotionally and rather than stick with her with patience and understanding considering your horrendous approach, you engaged her in verbal altercations to the point she moved out of the house.

Your wife is human and even if we are not talking of the psychological trauma, diminished dignity and lost sense of pride she is currently struggling with, how about the physical, biological and medical implications of using something that is not even prescribed by a medical professional on her own body!!! Come on man!!! this is so wrong and I pray you read some wisdom in my post.

The basic strategies of problem solving involve
1. Identifying the problem
2. Analyzing the problem
3. Developing multiple solution/options
4. Evaluating options/ solution
5. Picking appropriate solution
6. Test identified solution
7. Continue to evaluate identified solution

In your own case, you only utilized number 1 and 6 for a problem that does not affect you alone, a problem that requires inputs from another party for it to be successful.

I can go on and on!!! You are soooo wrong in so many ways..If you still love your marriage and wife, you had better humble yourself and drop the useless ego and apologize to her. You have really hurt that woman with your approach, attitude and poor decision making skills.

This is one of my facilitators at RSW. Well done 'sah'.

1 Like

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by GreatDad19: 10:10am On Sep 01, 2018
PatrickOkunima:


You should have discussed with her before buying the product. It's a big mistake on your part. Send me an email: patrickokunima@gmail.com I want to give you a piece of advice that may save your marriage. What I want to tell you is not for public consumption. There are a lot of single guys here, most of them under 20 who will come and give you advice on how to run your marital affairs. How can you advice someone on something you have not experienced? I'm expecting your mail.
hello sir, I’ve sent you an email !
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Flowers95: 10:32am On Sep 01, 2018
The title of your thread alone is very condescending and it shows you lack empathy towards your wife. I will not put that blame on you 100% as I believe your wife is quite childish and emotionally incapable of handling marital situations. But you sir handled this situation the wrong way but from observing your comments it seems you are ready to right your wrongs. Marriage is all about ups and downs, I believe your marriage will still blossom after this. It’s just one of those things.

Ignore those insulting you on this thread as they are raged from a woman’s perspective and are almost putting themselves in your wives shoes instead of analysing the situation from an unbiased point of view. As a woman myself, I understand it but don’t get annoyed by this, it’s our nature. My advice to you is, give yourself and your wife some space. You need to time to re-evaluate a lot of things. This situation was simply caused by miscommunication and I believe it’s not necessarily about the size of your wife’s private part alone. After about a week, go and find your wife, drop all your ego, pride, stubbornness and all the necessary things that feed into the division of two people. Pour your heart out, tell her everything and explain to her how you feel. Apologise to her if possible, I’m sure she will also do the same. After the reconciliation, never hold on to anything or keep anything away from her. It causes problems and leads to fights like this. You said your wife is sensitive, use that to your advantage. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Focus on your tone, mannerisms and words when expressing yourself to her and you’ll be fine.
Goodluck.

2 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by PatrickOkunima(m): 11:30am On Sep 01, 2018
Email replied.
GreatDad19:
hello sir, I’ve sent you an email !
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Prognose: 12:15pm On Sep 01, 2018
Lol, what a mess.
Op will never talk about anything sex to his wife again grin
This is why some married men just keep quiet and sort themselves out by themselves.

Op give it a little time and then go and bring her back. Make e no be say na pussy break your family.
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by keryj(f): 12:44pm On Sep 01, 2018
You better run after your wife and apologise seriously. Buy her some gift yo make feelings warm again. Do things you know she really love.

Lastly, you can choose to go enlarge your rod in other to be more satisfied. ( wonder why you didn't think of this in the first place)

2 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Tyche(m): 12:56pm On Sep 01, 2018
yettymuse:


... I love a BIG dick, YES! meaty and fleshy with raging veins, the type that shifts womb! ... It is just sex! It is not oxygen!

You need Jesus grin
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by KingsleyLoadedB(m): 1:14pm On Sep 01, 2018
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Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by armyofone(m): 1:31pm On Sep 01, 2018
Op, get out of my house? Wow! That's huge!!!
Don't forget double apologies from you to her.
You just told her the house is yours alone...you no try at all. You drove your wife out for given birth to your child?
Uwa sef - smh

8 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by MetroBaba1(m): 1:31pm On Sep 01, 2018
Shugavee:
I really don’t like the hypocrisy I am seeing on this thread!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to his wife about sex!!!!! NOTHING, except of course he said it in a rule matter,,, or u prefer him to cheat outside n pretends to her? Then when the cheat story comes on nairaland u say *why didn’t u talk to ur wife* if u can’t comunicate sex with ur wife,,, who else will u do that with? It might hv hurt her feelings but d no reach all this drama please.

If ur husband bleeps u everyday n eventual stop except u r a cheat u would be troubled.

Except his manners were wrong!!! He did nothing morally unacceptable.That may probably not be the only issue they r even hving ,, cause if it is then the lady has a problem that we don’t know about!!

I don’t support nonsense

Sister, This Is The Only Reasonable Comment I've Seen/Read On This Thread So Far.
Our Reasoning Mentality Is So Low In Nigeria And Africa.

Can Those Commenting Handle A Slack Pussy? Why Are People So Stupid These Days?

3 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by MetroBaba1(m): 1:36pm On Sep 01, 2018
GreatDad19:
Hello nlanders

This is an update to my old thread from last month https://www.nairaland.com/4647838/wifes-vagina-loose-please

I experienced some negative feedback but was able to receive help from a generous lady who sent me a pm and advised me on what to do. I ended up buying what this said lady suggested for my wife and I thought at this point maybe this issue would be solved. Despite me avoiding this situation for years, I finally decided to address it after frustration.

After purchasing this item, I sat down with my wife in the calmest way possible to explain how I’ve not been satisfied sexually due to her giving birth. I explained to her that I felt her vagina had loosened after the birth of our child and I handed over the product that I had bought for her. My wife stayed silent all throughout the time I spoke to her. When I finished talking she gave me a very nasty look and left the room without saying a word and also eased as she left. Since that day I have been living in pure misery.

My wife has refused to sleep in the same bed with me, she has deprived me of sex. She barely cooks. Every time I try to talk to her, she shuts me or up or she doesn’t respond. She’s constantly on her phone talking to one friend or the other. Completely disrespecting me in my own house. Yesterday night was the last straw and we got into a heated fight. She compared me to one of her ex’s and claimed that it was a mistake that she married me. I ended up calling her all sorts of names and told her to leave my house. I called her mother, and she was begging on her behalf but I’m no longer tolerating her nasty behaviour. It was God that stopped me from slapping her yesterday, because I’ve never been insulted like that all my life. This morning she’s packed her stuff and she has left with our daughter.
At this point I’m falling out of love with this ungrateful woman. Since the birth of our child it’s been hell and I’ve tried my best. At this point I don’t know if I should just leave my wife or try to reconcile. I have tried to my best ability but she’s very ungrateful and miserable. I believe our marriage is dead at this point and I don’t think there’s any way to revive it. She has completely let herself go emotionally and physically. She doesn’t care about herself nor myself.

I just want to know the next wise step to take

Thanks.

Kindly Reply My PM.
This Is Something Sensitive.
Only For Matured Man.
I See Children Ranting Without Reasoning
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by GreatDad19: 1:43pm On Sep 01, 2018
MetroBaba1:


Kindly Reply My PM.
This Is Something Sensitive.
Only For Matured Man.
I See Children Ranting Without Reasoning
I have sent you a Pm sir !
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by trilobite: 2:41pm On Sep 01, 2018
Shugavee:
I really don’t like the hypocrisy I am seeing on this thread!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to his wife about sex!!!!! NOTHING, except of course he said it in a rule matter,,, or u prefer him to cheat outside n pretends to her? Then when the cheat story comes on nairaland u say *why didn’t u talk to ur wife* if u can’t comunicate sex with ur wife,,, who else will u do that with? It might hv hurt her feelings but d no reach all this drama please.

If ur husband bleeps u everyday n eventual stop except u r a cheat u would be troubled.

Except his manners were wrong!!! He did nothing morally unacceptable.That may probably not be the only issue they r even hving ,, cause if it is then the lady has a problem that we don’t know about!!

I don’t support nonsense

You read my mind!! He did nothing wrong by communicating. Only offence might be the way he wants about it. She will come around.
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by GreatDad19: 2:42pm On Sep 01, 2018
Rizzoli:


I'm sorry for the situation but let me give me opinion...
1) If ur wife tells u that your dick is too small for her since after u got married and she has been looking for herbs and finally she brings one for you to drink.In all honesty,I know you will not take it lightly with her,you won't even see it as hwe trying to help,but a bruise to your ego... I just want u to imagine how she would have felt after u said these things to her,more so, it's your baby she had. I can confirm to you that there are many married women who have not birthed yet have wide vaginas.
2) Pls don't be deceived by all the posts u see on nairaland , vaginas are naturally elastic and would return to shape after childbirth. The sex workers and runs girls who claim to have tighter ones use an awful lot of things to tighten (alums,lemon,lime,native potions).The consequenxe is an increase in cervical cancer which is at an alarmingly high rate in the country now and these liquids also take a till on the men who patronize then,some end up with ED.

Unfortunately most men just have sex and not make love. Difference being that sex appeala to the physical act and body,but love making appeals to the emotion,feelings, and can only happen wen the partner truly love each other

Inconclusion, only you can save this marriage if you want to. U need to ask if u truly love this woman from your heart. Remember you are not perfect yourself with your own shortcomings. Buy true love covers all the flaws because the partners are not just sexmates they are friends,companions, share things,play with each other.

Imagine one good evening u both having a nice funny conversation with her and u both laugh so hard ,giggle and take a bath together then onto the bed,,,,size won't matter at that point,body shape won't matter ,you just want to bond with her soul ...that is love,and what marriage should be....Love the wife of your youth take care of your children ..

If u marry another, she born, it slacks wat will you do, chase her away again...

I'm not judging u for expressing yourself, I'm saying u should pay more attention to building a connection of love and everything will fall in place irrespective of both your shortcomings

Don't mind this generation that is sex crazed, sex is overrated . People make permanent decisions over a 3-10minute pleasure. at the expense of value of life ..
Pls fix your home
Sir this has nothing to do with sex. Although yes sex is important to me as it should be, but it’s deeper than that. It’s her attitude and reactions to things that is making small issues into bigger ones. I know my wife, she over reacts to everything hence me delaying ‘the talk’ with her in the first place. No matter how much I try to adjust my tone or words to her, she must always find a problem with it. Well I’ve received good advice today, and I believe there is still hope.

1 Like

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by TV01(m): 4:22pm On Sep 01, 2018
GreatDad19 good evening,

I applaud the way you’ve laid yourself bare here and, unflinchingly taken the kind of thunderous condemnation that can get hurled around. In all you’ve have remained resolutely focused on your desired, and dare I say the right, outcome – restoration of your home. I sincerely hope that this concludes with your testimony to the same!

Do forgive me if I am a little expansive, I like to address the specific and the more general. I’ve read through your 2 threads and get the sense that in all you are a responsible, earnest and serious guy – looking to do your best for your wife and family. That makes you a leader, as you well should be as a man, a husband, and a father.

Do not let imprecation about your less than perfect approach or manner get to you. None of us are, least of all those that are demanding it of you. Whenever I am asked to say a few words at weddings or to an intending couple, I always say to the groom “whether it’s her fault, or your fault, it’s your responsibility”. I see you taking responsibility here – every comment that does not acknowledge that and seek to deride you is mere gainsaying.

I hear your frustration – loudly! You work hard to provide for your family and sex is a right and one of the main things men typically delight in within marriage. It is more than just physical, although those benefits are myriad. It re-affirms the bond and is the one place only the two of you go.

You should actually have moved faster. I have been there, and will say this much. After tackling the issue head on, things were even better than before. Set your sights high, you don’t just want the restoration of your sex life, you want to elevate it to another level. Beyond mere relief, beyond the perfunctory, to the kind you mentally record and playback with a dopey smile on your face when you should be hard at work grin

Always take stock of your marriage – all areas - and if anything is slipping or awry, take steps to address it sooner rather than later, lest it become entrenched and nigh on intractable.

I can see why you confided in friends, they have generally got your back – especially longstanding ones. But please don’t. At most, one trusted person, preferably an elder, versed in marital issues, as opposed to a peer. You can’t always tell where friendships are going or will end. Your friends may be objective, but no wiser and, one person is sharing, more is broadcasting.

As to the oversensitivity issue, bro’, that is not atypical for your average woman, it’s one of the main ways we differ. You can praise her all day and make one constructive remark. The remark will override all else that came before and possibly much of what comes after. Dude, that thing will seed and grow fruit you will be eating for a long time.

While most men can shrug off most critiscm or spite, most women internalise and fuel their anxieties or insecurities – all the more if they are carrying past trauma that you may not even be aware of.

But now she is yours. It becomes your mandate to instil that sense of security and joy in her, by lovingly building her up. Be firm, be frank, but never verbally caustic, no matter the provocation. And try to not come across as condemnatory, it will build her confidence in sharing things and communicating with you, as opposed to making her clam up or go on the offensive.

It is that communication that will be the bedrock, and the way this issue has been difficult to address and festered indicates you have much to do here. As you have laid yourself bare here, do so with her. Not in a way that presents you as weak, or even vulnerable – that is dangerous to the dynamic – but in a way that lets her see she is the first port of call and your trusted confidante.

It would be hard for any spouse to think that their personal issues – and really sensitive ones – are being openly discussed. No, no, no, thrice no. It can progress to a point where the elder I mentioned is superfluous and friends are nowhere. All they see is that smile and your sense of uxory.

So you’ve been derided for you non-project management approach to situations. Listen, I’m a qualified coach and often neglect to apply the model in my personal life. Yes you could have been more considered, played a slightly longer game – it has been 2 years after all – and approached more warily, with the scene properly set.

Pick your self up, dust yourself off, learn the lessons and re-engage. Acknowledge your own cack-handedness, and hands up for the unpleasantness, its violence and has no place in a loving home. But do stress that you know things are not right and you’d like a progressive solution.

Allow your wife lead the conversation and take things at her own pace, but be sure to moderate and not let things slip or fade away. Don’t lose sight of the desired outcome – ensuring she knows what this is and is on-board. There is in all likelihood no quick or easy fix here. The first requirement is the acknowledgement, then the joint will to progress.

Before I forget. I know how easy it is to be flattered by the attentions of others. Most men can be distracted even without attention, but please guard your heart. I don’t believe deep down it’s a road you want to travel, but situations like this can open up a pathway – even if unintended. All the more reason to fix-up at home, that is the best preventative.

Go and get your wife back and get to work. The peace you crave shall be yours, with joy atop

All the best as you build your home and happy shagging cool

Best
TV

...if you believe drop to your knees, if not I can heartily recommend The Lord Jesus Christ...for the joy that is set before you...

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by somehow: 4:36pm On Sep 01, 2018
jesmond3945:
Mr man I want to ask you this question can you carry a child in your belly for 9 months, go through vaginal labour and come out the same?. Let me tell you what you did, you just told your wife that all the sacrifice she took birthing your child worth less than that piece of product you just bought. You took a knife and cut her to pieces. You must go and kneel before her and ask for forgiveness. My wife has a baby girl too and I can tell you there are ways to enjoy intimacy with your wife even with her slacked walls. Google is your friend, watch videos and learn. Go and beg your wife and bring her back to your house.

This is not so reasonable sha.

Can a woman produce sperm?

If a man is with a womb and a vaginal, he can get pregnant and go through labour just like every other female living thing.
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by AFONAMARO: 4:39pm On Sep 01, 2018
GreatDad19:
Hello nlanders

This is an update to my old thread from last month https://www.nairaland.com/4647838/wifes-vagina-loose-please

I experienced some negative feedback but was able to receive help from a generous lady who sent me a pm and advised me on what to do. I ended up buying what this said lady suggested for my wife and I thought at this point maybe this issue would be solved. Despite me avoiding this situation for years, I finally decided to address it after frustration.

After purchasing this item, I sat down with my wife in the calmest way possible to explain how I’ve not been satisfied sexually due to her giving birth. I explained to her that I felt her vagina had loosened after the birth of our child and I handed over the product that I had bought for her. My wife stayed silent all throughout the time I spoke to her. When I finished talking she gave me a very nasty look and left the room without saying a word and also eased as she left. Since that day I have been living in pure misery.

My wife has refused to sleep in the same bed with me, she has deprived me of sex. She barely cooks. Every time I try to talk to her, she shuts me or up or she doesn’t respond. She’s constantly on her phone talking to one friend or the other. Completely disrespecting me in my own house. Yesterday night was the last straw and we got into a heated fight. She compared me to one of her ex’s and claimed that it was a mistake that she married me. I ended up calling her all sorts of names and told her to leave my house. I called her mother, and she was begging on her behalf but I’m no longer tolerating her nasty behaviour. It was God that stopped me from slapping her yesterday, because I’ve never been insulted like that all my life. This morning she’s packed her stuff and she has left with our daughter.
At this point I’m falling out of love with this ungrateful woman. Since the birth of our child it’s been hell and I’ve tried my best. At this point I don’t know if I should just leave my wife or try to reconcile. I have tried to my best ability but she’s very ungrateful and miserable. I believe our marriage is dead at this point and I don’t think there’s any way to revive it. She has completely let herself go emotionally and physically. She doesn’t care about herself nor myself.

I just want to know the next wise step to take

Thanks.

Landlord, are you actually saying your marriage has broken down because of sex? You mean tight vagina is what has been keeping you married to your wife?

I am highly disappointed in how most of us handle our family issues, you brought your matrimonial issue to a forum to run your wife down, a supposed woman you chose above every other woman, the mother of your child. Shame!!!

You asked her to leave your house she obliged, yet you are here crying wolf.

There are better ways of passing a point without hurting the other party. You got her a kit to help tighten her VJ, good; then why not present the matter in a more respectful manner. What would have happened if you chose words like, sweet, I just got you a kit to help you become my personal champion like never before. Baby, with this kit we are headed for cloud 9 like never before. You know I love you and care about all that concerns you my love.

You expect a woman you made to feel her only worth is in making her VJ tight just for your perusal at will to be happy with you after your preaching?

Shame!!!

4 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Prognose: 5:10pm On Sep 01, 2018
TV01:
GreatDad19 good evening,

I applaud the way you’ve laid yourself bare here and, unflinchingly taken the kind of thunderous condemnation that can get hurled around. In all you’ve have remained resolutely focused on your desired, and dare I say the right, outcome – restoration of your home. I sincerely hope that this concludes with your testimony to the same!

Do forgive me if I am a little expansive, I like to address the specific and the more general. I’ve read through your 2 threads and get the sense that in all you are a responsible, earnest and serious guy – looking to do your best for your wife and family. That makes you a leader, as you well should be as a man, a husband, and a father.

Do not let imprecation about your less than perfect approach or manner get to you. None of us are, least of all those that are demanding it of you. Whenever I am asked to say a few words at weddings or to an intending couple, I always say to the groom “whether it’s her fault, or your fault, it’s your responsibility”. I see you taking responsibility here – every comment that does not acknowledge that and seek to deride you is mere gainsaying.

I hear your frustration – loudly! You work hard to provide for your family and sex is a right and one of the main things men typically delight in within marriage. It is more than just physical, although those benefits are myriad. It re-affirms the bond and is the one place only the two of you go.

You should actually have moved faster. I have been there, and will say this much. After tackling the issue head on, things were even better than before. Set your sights high, you don’t just want the restoration of your sex life, you want to elevate it to another level. Beyond mere relief, beyond the perfunctory, to the kind you mentally record and playback with a dopey smile on your face when you should be hard at work grin

Always take stock of your marriage – all areas - and if anything is slipping or awry, take steps to address it sooner rather than later, lest it become entrenched and nigh on intractable.

I can see why you confided in friends, they have generally got your back – especially longstanding ones. But please don’t. At most, one trusted person, preferably an elder, versed in marital issues, as opposed to a peer. You can’t always tell where friendships are going or will end. Your friends may be objective, but no wiser and, one person is sharing, more is broadcasting.

As to the oversensitivity issue, bro’, that is not atypical for your average woman, it’s one of the main ways we differ. You can praise her all day and make one constructive remark. The remark will override all else that came before and possibly much of what comes after. Dude, that thing will seed and grow fruit you will be eating for a long time.

While most men can shrug off most critiscm or spite, most women internalise and fuel their anxieties or insecurities – all the more if they are carrying past trauma that you may not even be aware of.

But now she is yours. It becomes your mandate to instil that sense of security and joy in her, by lovingly building her up. Be firm, be frank, but never verbally caustic, no matter the provocation. And try to not come across as condemnatory, it will build her confidence in sharing things and communicating with you, as opposed to making her clam up or go on the offensive.

It is that communication that will be the bedrock and the way this issue has been difficult to address and festered indicates you have much to do here. As you have laid yourself bare here, do so with here. Not in a way that presents you as weak, or even vulnerable – that is dangerous to the dynamic – but in a way that lets her see she is the first port of call and your trusted confidante.

It would be hard for any spouse to think that their personal issues – and really sensitive ones – are being openly discussed. No, no, no, thrice no. It can progress to a point where the elder I mentioned is superfluous and friends are nowhere. All they see is that smile and your sense of uxory.

So you’ve been derided for you non-project management approach to situations. Listen, I’m a qualified coach and often neglect to apply the model in my personal life. Yes you could have been more considered, played a slightly longer game – it has been 2 years after all – and approached more warily, with the scene properly set.

Pick your self up, dust yourself off, learn the lessons and re-engage. Acknowledge your own cack-handedness, and hands up for the unpleasantness, its violence and has no place in a loving home. But do stress that you know things are not right and you’d like a progressive solution.

Allow your wife lead the conversation and take things at her own pace, but be sure to moderate and not let things slip or fade away. Don’t lose sight of the desired outcome – ensuring she knows what this is and is on-board. There is in all likelihood no quick or easy fix here. The first requirement is the acknowledgement, then the joint will to progress.

Before I forget. I know how easy it is to be flattered by the attentions of others. Most men can be distracted even without attention, but please guard your heart. I don’t believe deep down it’s a road you want to travel, but situations like this can open up a pathway – even if unintended. All the more reason to fix-up at home, that is the best preventative.

Go and get your wife back and get to work. The peace you crave shall be yours, with joy atop

All the best as you build your home and happy shagging cool

Best
TV

...if you believe drop to your knees, if not I can heartily recommend The Lord Jesus Christ...for the joy that is set before you...

TV is back! grin
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by jesmond3945: 5:23pm On Sep 01, 2018
somehow:


This is not so reasonable sha.

Can a woman produce sperm?

If a man is with a womb and a vaginal, he can get pregnant and go through labour just like every other female living thing.
are you a man or woman? Cos if you are a woman you won't talk like this. I was with my wife through every episode and I can tell you it wasn't funny. So are you a man or woman? And are you married?

1 Like

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by somehow: 5:45pm On Sep 01, 2018
jesmond3945:
are you a man or woman? Cos if you are a woman you won't talk like this. I was with my wife through every episode and I can tell you it wasn't funny. So are you a man or woman? And are you married?

Wether i am a man or a woman doesn't change nature.

It's natural for females to give birth, hence the reason for their body structure. The body was created that way to give birth.

I don't want to compare a living thing with non living thing, if not, i would have used an example.


All female animal (biologically) were made to accomodate bearing offerings. Rats, snakes, dogs, humans, monkeys, fish, et.c.

Do you even know that some animals must die to give birth? Yet the world hasn't ended.

Just as females have their own functions, so are the males!
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by jesmond3945: 5:47pm On Sep 01, 2018
somehow:


Wether i am a man or a woman doesn't change nature.

It's natural for females to give birth, hence the reason for their body structure. The body was created that way to give birth.

I don't want to compare a living thing with non living thing, if not, i would have used an example.


All female animal (biologically) were made to accomodate bearing offerings. Rats, snakes, dogs, humans, monkeys, fish, et.c.

Do you even know that some animals must die to give birth? Yet the world hasn't ended.

Just as females have their own functions, so are the males!
I know you are a biology student but I want to ask did you study the psychology of giving birth in school?

2 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by somehow: 5:57pm On Sep 01, 2018
jesmond3945:
I know you are a biology student but I want to ask did you study the psychology of giving birth in school?

Leave that aside and lets talk only about what females and their body was created to do.

All females have a vaginal, womb, breast for milk (mammals) and every other thing needed by the toing to develope which the male counterparts don't have, but the males have what the femals do not not have because they were created for different functions.

Giving birth is the job of the females as created and nothing extra ordinary apart from the miracle of creation done by God on both sexes.
Simple!
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by appsdope(m): 6:13pm On Sep 01, 2018
somehow:


Leave that aside and lets talk only about what females and their body was created to do.

All females have a vaginal, womb, breast for milk (mammals) and every other thing needed by the toing to develope which the male counterparts don't have, but the males have what the femals do not not have because they were created for different functions.

Giving birth is the job of the females as created and nothing extra ordinary apart from the miracle of creation done by God on both sexes.
Simple!

STFU! Childbirth isn't easy. Psychologically and physically. Let OP go and talk to her.. If he likes let him go and bring a third party into this. The more people hear about it, the worse it gets. The solution is between you two. You should know what makes her happy. Just do that and then u bought discuss it.

3 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by jesmond3945: 6:43pm On Sep 01, 2018
somehow:


Leave that aside and lets talk only about what females and their body was created to do.

All females have a vaginal, womb, breast for milk (mammals) and every other thing needed by the toing to develope which the male counterparts don't have, but the males have what the femals do not not have because they were created for different functions.

Giving birth is the job of the females as created and nothing extra ordinary apart from the miracle of creation done by God on both sexes.
Simple!
lol so make we leave psychology enter biology?
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Amberon: 7:47pm On Sep 01, 2018
And your own insults are necessary right?
You just came here to insult and degrade your wife , calling her all sorts of names but you can't take half of that from another person. Let me tell you what nobody may have told you before... You have a very big problem.. talking about helping your wife, who else was supposed to help your wife if not you? Is that something to be boastful about? The minute you married her all her responsibilities became yours and your responsibilities became hers so don't acting like you deserve a standing ovation for doing the right thing. After all so many people have done much more than you but they don't brag about it.
GreatDad19:
Madam this talk is getting old. But even if this is the case, a man should suffer because of the way God made him? Never will I leave my wife because of a situation that I know can be fixed hence me trying to find a solution. I finally addressed it to her and what did I get in return? Attitude and disrespect. I have helped my wife in so many ways, that I do not want to go into detail because I did this out of the love I have for her. I’m not innocent and I’m a human being and have been as transparent as possible, but please respect the fact that I’m asking for genuine advice and your insults are very unnecessary. Thanks.

4 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Amberon: 8:30pm On Sep 01, 2018
You sef eh.m.you sounded all sweet in the first two paragraphs only to decimate him later.... grin
yettymuse:
This hurts really! You just shattered that woman's remaining dignity! Phew! So much ado about sex! I thought love overrides all this things!

I love a BIG dick, YES! meaty and fleshy with raging veins, the type that shifts womb! But if I find myself with a man below this standard and I love him, trust me, his small D would fill me and I'll teach him how to use it to my satisfaction. I'll see my fantasy in his reality. It is just sex! It is not oxygen! There is more to a healthy relationship than the sizes of our genital.

How about you increase the size of your small dick to fit into the new possie size? Nonsense!

Even your writeup is filled with so much distaste and disregard. You even called your woman miserable and ungrateful! So much disrespect! Tueh!!!!!
is she the cause of her problem? Which kain life be this one na. Na marriage be this one abi beer parlour joint?

You no try at all!
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Amberon: 8:33pm On Sep 01, 2018
Lmao, Nigerian men always looking at the slightest opportunity to vent their fraustrations at feminism. Oga, exactly what does feminism have to do with a man having a heated argument with his wife insulting her on a public forum and asking his wife to leave the home? Mumu.
Atk1nson:

Madam please keep your bitterness to yourself. When did it become a divorce-able offence for a spouse to advice his/her partners on ways to improve their sex life?

Please keep your feminist ranting, many can't be bothered

3 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Amberon: 8:47pm On Sep 01, 2018
Single women with kids marry everyday but that's not the bone of contention.
Now imagine if the reverse we're to be the case , that a woman asked her husband to leave her home (if she was actually the home owner) and even further came here to rain abuses on the man calling him miserable and ungrateful, what would have been your reaction? Wouldn't you have called her a bad woman? You men fail to tell yourselves the truth, the truth that you can't take half of what you give to your wives.

Yes op will find another woman but he will leave her again and keep leaving and the cycle will continue.
Ioannes:


I think both of you are to blame here.

How would you feel if your wife sat you down one evening and showed you a cream she bought for you and told you that your "staff of glory" is too small?

Exactly! I think you put the cart before the horse. Whatever sexual frustrations you are having should be discussed with her first and both of you should arrive at the solution together.

On the other hand please permit me to say that your wife is quite silly for her childish response and packing out of the house.

It's infinitely more difficult for a single mother to get remarried than for a divorced man.

It would ultimately be easy for you to move on with your life and look for a more respectful and younger lady with a tighter hole.

But I'd advice you for the sake of that child try to mend fences with your wife.

If she shuns your attempts at reconciliation then leave her be and watch as she eventually comes back to beg you.

4 Likes

Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Amberon: 8:50pm On Sep 01, 2018
Yes, it definitely does.
crackhaus:

I thought child birth didn't affect vag1na size. It does?
Re: Update On Wife’s Loose Vagina ! by Beremx(f): 8:58pm On Sep 01, 2018
The mistake you did was finding a solution to your wife's loose vaggy without telling her. That action alone will make her have negative thoughts about you. You failed in that aspect.

I wonder how a vagina will get loose after one delivery.


Please go and reconcile with your wife!

1 Like

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