₦airaland Forum

I hate white wedding is not our culture.

Misplaced priorities with misconceptions. Pastors are not expected to be the yardstick. Six years down the line now with a reasonable cap on your head? Be wise

Ayoothniel1:
Left to me, though am a strong Christian but due to the immoralities all these church ladies have committed in the past before running to church for salvation I’ll insist one gets pregnant before we can even do traditional wedding cos some beautiful ladies in church don’t even have a womb that can House a child due to the life they have lived in the past

I concur

YoungDaNaval:
My Brother. if I cross sword for my colleagues and them no cross for me....wetin I gain??

It's a must my man.... Can we chat privately please.... Actually I'm a sea scout and will like to know more of sea activities. My mail holakhan01@gmail.com

You choose to live beyond your bar,you can as well enjoy your self inflicted singlar life..

Op can, I tell you something. Read your Bible on marriage. cohabitation is bad. That young man is not your husband.

BiafranBushBoy:
You missed me?

I missed you...

Make sure you go to church tomorrow...

I might not attend from the look of things

ultimate77:
Who wrote this story again?
ok, tell the person its all lies. pictures or we will not believe it.
in short, i cant take this rubbish from you oP. just come and apologie.



Nigga... here it was a catholic church and the Bolded was in charge.



when did catholic church start having pastors? Niggga stop this trash make thunder no locate you o.

I thought I was the only one that saw that discrepancy. The lady could vividly recall all that transpired but missed that simple mistake. Nice story anyway.

Bring the writer here!!!

Gabriel99:
I and my wife waited for 4 years and didn't get this naughty in the last important hours, no disrespect ma'am..but it's all lies, It's either you are trying to get to someone that is holy or you're trying to discredit purity in marriage. I see this message as directly insulting a Christian holy living.

such wait is blissful when both are sincere and committed in the relationship.
I have begin to think I can only do that with a virgin...not my desire before.

Three reasons why he couldn't wait further... Firstly, he already did the traditional marriage so she is his wife and he has traditional authority to sleep with her. Secondly, you know the feeling when you are pressed, when you are about getting relief(as you enter the toilet) that's when the pressure is highest and remember they started sleeping in the same room. Finally, she is not a virgin, so it was logically wrong to insist that she wanted the first sex to be special when the hymen has been broken long ago. Do you believe in no sex before marriage? Cos I don't and mind you a man that wants to leave will leave sex or no sex, it's the behavior and character that keeps a man

BecaciaBarbie:
Cooked up story.....he waited 2 years but couldn't wait for few weeks or months? Really?

I'm so sorry about this. It's well. Please call me 07032103579.

safarigirl:
Before I go on...... Madam, traditional marriage is superior to any church marriage there is.

Once the traditional marriage is done, it is seen as marriage in the eyes of God and if you had any sense, you would not be waiting for the white man's traditional marriage before you had sex. It is pastor that killed whatever you have.... But let me keep reading

the man even tried....me can't sleep with a woman I have paid her dowry in same roof and still deny me sex....I will send her to parents...

so annoying.

DMerciful:
Three reasons why he couldn't wait further... Firstly, he already did the traditional marriage so she is his wife and he has traditional authority to sleep with her. Secondly, you know the feeling when you are pressed, when you are about getting relief(as you enter the toilet) that's when the pressure is highest and remember they started sleeping in the same room. Finally, she is not a virgin, so it was logically wrong to insist that she wanted the first sex to be special when the hymen has been broken long ago. Do you believe in no sex before marriage? Cos I don't and mind you a man that wants to leave will leave sex or no sex, it's the behavior and character that keeps a man

I still believe in no sex before marriage...
many still do....I think it is the best.
just that there are many insincere people around...

Imagine if my wife is the only woman I have had sex with.... would have been unadventurous. Going through this life and sleeping with only one woman, does not make sense

Humility017:
I still believe in no sex before marriage...
many still do....I think it is the best.
just that there are many insincere people around...

stevelaw:
I'm so sorry about this. It's well. Please call me 07032103579.

It was copied from a blog.....

holaoni:
It's a must my man.... Can we chat privately please.... Actually I'm a sea scout and will like to know more of sea activities. My mail holakhan01@gmail.com

Roger that!

ultimate77:
Who wrote this story again?
ok, tell the person its all lies. pictures or we will not believe it.
in short, i cant take this rubbish from you oP. just come and apologie.



Nigga... here it was a catholic church and the Bolded was in charge.



when did catholic church start having pastors? Niggga stop this trash make thunder no locate you o.

Pastors are also called priest in some churches. Don't just attach this to the Catholics.

DMerciful:
Imagine if my wife is the only woman I have had sex with.... would have been unadventurous. Going through this life and sleeping with only one woman, does not make sense

Lol.... but I am a Christian.
I am to live the Bible way....and not my own way.
I don't know your beliefs tho...but as Christian
I believe in sexual purity.

In other words you support couples marrying as virgins? Cos that's the condition to respect no sex before marriage

LadyHeaven:
I am an ardent supporter of NO sex till marriage, but this story Issa big lie

Though this story looks like a mere fabrication.
But let's consider some issues: marriage is contracted when both man and woman give their consent as in Genesis 2:24 and in Mark 10 :8.
It became a church affair in 12th century when it became a sacremtal order. No particular dress code.
The White component part of it is a follow up to how Queen Victoria dressed during her marriage.
The sex in marriage can take place once the party involved agreed to the cause and if both parents of either side approve of their being together. At least our grannies maintained families before the the modern day era.

Ok

driand:
No sex b4 marriage is good for those who can, but I broke up with my fiancée months ago when I couldn't continue with the pretence and hypocrisy, so the the I was straffing outside didn't deserve marriage abi? What nonsense? I called off the relationship and took the other girl seriously but unfortunately we can't marry and we both understand that...

And where does that leave you? You honestly think you made the right decision?

DMerciful:
In other words you support couples marrying as virgins? Cos that's the condition to respect no sex before marriage

YESsir

Op u wud make a nice story teller. I almosted believe ur script was true legit.

Who even cancels his marriage over trivial issues like no sex arguments/fights after waiting so long. Yes u cud get upset bt not to the point u can’t reconcile haba!

Ps:Useless sex was the only thing keeping u guys together.

Iffa hear say i no chrome any babe i date before marriage.....

Even virgins want to hv sex b4 marriage talk less of big Toto like u

placeofallure:
After my traditional marriage, I was also forming good girl and refuse to go sleep over at my husband's new apartment. I erroneously thought sex unlimited should wait till after church wedding which was a few months away. He needed me of course, we need to arrange many things in the house. My mum! She practically chased me away! She said "Oya kia! Lo ba Oko e!" in fact we stayed together for the rest of the months in between.

And did you have sex during that period?

This one wey you dey smile like this... You sure say you be one if you not yet married? If you are married, were you before marriage cos I not trust that smile

LadyHeaven:
YESsir

Luckygurl:


I might not attend from the look of things

Aiight...

Stay safe.

My pastor say.. My pastor say...
Who blessed the union of ur pastor
Rubbish

Justice310:
I met him in church one Sunday morning. He sat next to me and I couldn’t help it but recognize the kind of gentleman he was. He was soft spoken and had this shyness on her face anytime he tried to talk to me. During the service, I realized he was finding it uneasy to sing along with the church because he didn’t come along with a hymn book. I shared mine. We both sang from the same hymn book and got closer as the service progressed.

After the last grace was said by the priest and the church dispersed, he turned to me and said thank you. I smiled and asked his name. “I’m Martin,” he said.

“Nice meeting you Martin” I responded. But before I could turn around and leave, he told me;

"Actually, this is my first time being here.” Amid smiles he continued. “and it’s great finding a friend at my first time in church. Do you mind if I called you sometimes?”

We exchanged contacts and left each other’s presence. Truth be told, I was going through the hardest times of my life. The man I’ve dated for about two years just called it quit and I was very devastated. I was nursing my wounds when Martin came along. He kept crossing my mind all week but I resolved not to call him until he does.

He never called until we met in church again the next Sunday. Inwardly, I felt guilty for thinking about him the way I did all week. That’s girlish. But we had another good service together, singing from the same hymn book and making fun under our breath.

After the service, he called when he got home. We started chatting on Whatsapp and grew closer together as the days pass. I shared my story of broken relationships with him and he was kind enough to offer soothing words. He didn’t judge me. He didn’t condemn my actions or sought to give directions as to how I should have handled things. He gained my trust that way and I opened up more.

He told me a little bit about himself. Nothing of note though, but I was happy he was overcoming his shyness. We grew closer and closer until finally, after about six months later, he made it obvious that he wanted us to date.

He didn’t propose to me. I don’t remember him telling me he loved me or wanted to be with me. He loved to act than to use words. We spoke more about it and decided to be in a relationship. He already knew my fears and easily accepted the conditions I laid down for the relationship. I told him; “I don’t want sex now. At least, if it should happen, it should happen after marriage, that is if you have any intention to marry me.” He only nodded and smiled. That day in his room, I remember we had our first kiss.

It was awesome! A lot of things started running through my head. Hey, I wasn’t a nun. I’ve had sex before and kisses this intense usually lead to sex. I remember grabbing him intensely like my whole life depended on him. I was shaking. I wanted something more than the kiss but I held on. He was gentle. The farthest he could go was to hold my head in between his palms, look me in the eyes and kissed intensely. I couldn’t breathe. I gathered the little strength in me and pulled away. I was panting like I’ve been running around for hours. The next words that came out were; “No more kisses until marriage. I mean it.”

For the next two years, we didn’t kiss and we never had sex. The farthest we went was to hold hands, lean on each other and occasionally cuddle. Martin was a good boy and I loved him dearly. We decided to get married after two years of being together. When we started counseling, our pastor wanted to be sure if we’ve had sex before. We had all the pride in us when we answered no. I don’t know if he believed us but we were telling the truth and didn’t care if he did. He only told us to be careful since it’s at this stage that all manner of temptations creep in. We knew our strength. We were sure we could scale above all temptations.

Our marriage arrangement was to have the traditional wedding and then do the church wedding in six months later. We started having troubles. The urge to have sex became greater. After all, we were going to marry so what stops us from having sex? In my mind, I wanted our first sex to be special. I wanted to blow his mind off during our first sex and what better moment to do it than to wait for the honeymoon? this thought kept me going. Two weeks before the traditional marriage, we spent most nights together in the same room and on the same bed. We had a lot of errands and arrangements to do and it was better we stayed together. But sex had a way of creeping into our minds.

I remember one night it turned into a serious scuffle. Martin wanted it. I’ve never seen him so aggressive. He was pushing and struggling with me to allow him to have s*x. To him, we were already married and didn’t see the reason to still cover the cookie. I implored. I fought him. At some point, I wanted to scream. What the pastor said was ringing loud in my ears; “it’s at this stage that all manner of temptations creep in.” Amid threats of screaming and loud prayers, I won and slept in peace. That wasn’t the last. We kept having series of minor fights because of s*x.

Days to the traditional wedding was tough. We could go all day without talking to each other. He was angry and I was angry. S*x was killing the beautiful thing we had together. But we soldiered on.

Finally, we did the traditional wedding. The pastor was there to pray and bless the union. During his sermon, he complimented us for staying chaste all this while and told us to still be strong and keep it till after the church wedding. I could see my husband restless and with a subtle frown.

The night after the traditional wedding we had a fight. Our first fight as husband and wife happened on a night we ought to be happy together. What brought the fight? SEX! Not That I didn’t want to have sex, I wanted to but the time wasn’t right. So I told him; “Didn’t you hear what the pastor said? This is not the real marriage so we can’t have sex. Hold it together. We are only six months away.”

After saying this, my new name was launched; “Madam-We-Can’t-Have-Sex, I hear you but tomorrow, I’ll have s*x somewhere else.” Did you hear what he just called me? Madam-We-Can’t-Have-S*x? At this point, I didn’t care who he would have sex with if only that would make him stay off me till our honeymoon.

For a week, we lived in the same room but talked less to each other. He was always angry with me. What a way to start a married life. I was determined. To me, that was the right thing to do. The church frowns on sex before marriage, not that I also frown on it, I had a different motivation. I wanted the first sex to be unforgettable. I was saving my best for last and for no one but him. So why was he rushing?

Then one night things got worse. Martin came home with a friend. He was too drunk he couldn’t have made it home without the help of his friend. We had spent two arduous months together. I was sad for him. “Is he going through all that because of sex?” I asked myself.

I left him in the coach till he woke up at dawn and came to sleep next to me. He was smelling like a rotten fish. I couldn’t stand it so I woke up, picked a pillow and started walking away to sleep in the coach. He pulled me over and tried forcing himself on me. We’ve been through this tussle over and over again and I always won. I was used to it. This time, something was different. He was stronger and determined.

We struggled and fought for about fifteen minutes. He seemed to get stronger by the minutes while I was losing steam. He managed to tear off my pant and held my two hands apart with his two hands. We were both left with our legs to struggle with. I got tired and realized I couldn’t fight any longer. I kept my calm. He sensed the victory and quickly dashed over to have me. That was when I raised my right knee and unfortunately, my knee caught him in the balls. He fell over and screamed out loud. He suddenly got frozen. I’ve never been scared in my life. I thought I had killed him.

I tried calming him down but he kept whining in pains. Neighbors who heard him screaming started knocking on our door. I rushed to put on a dress and opened up the door. It was very embarrassing seeing neighbors in my room trying to help him regain his calm. After a lot of going up and down, he regained his calm. We were left alone.

The next morning, he packed what he had in the house and left. I didn’t ask him any question. I feared he might hit me. I left to my parent. I kept playing out the incidence in my mind over and over again. I kept asking myself; “Did I take this no sex thing too far.” I believe I did. He never picked my calls for three days. My parent and I went to meet him and his parent to try and resolve the issue but he didn’t listen to a word of what we had to say. All he said was he wanted a divorce. Two weeks later, his parent and other family members came over to dissolve the marriage.

That was it. My marriage lasted for only two and half months. What breaks my heart is the fact that I gave sex to those who didn’t deserve it. They had sex and left anyway. This one—Martin did everything right but I allowed fear to take over my senses. Recently, I heard from another pastor saying that traditional marriage is also marriage and sex is allowed after traditional marriage. If that was true, how stupid could I be? I was married and I didn’t even know it?

Three and half years after our break-up, I attended a wedding—Martin’s wedding with another lady I knew so well. I’m here, still single after six years of our breakup. Guess what, I had a boyfriend. We had sex but the relationship didn’t go well so we broke up. Back to single again.



http://silentbeads.com/not-sex-marriage-destroyed-marriage/#.W5RCDGko80M

I will leave too if I were in his shoes. Not because of sex but for the fact that you will listen n obey your pastor rather than your husband!

Marriage is marriage, irrespective of the type. You were already married after the trad ceremony why still deny him sex? Because ur pastor says u are still not married? Why did he bless you at the trad wedding?