₦airaland Forum

Ugosample:
what does bring pregnant have to do with anything

Men are not biologically designed to carry babies

So that does not count

then you must be crazy o, pregnancy doesn't count? that's first of all the most important part and we carry it for 9freaking months of not sleeping comfortably for most. so shut up.

Newboss:
People need to know that a ring is not needed to create a family

If you have a child, you already have a family

Good or bad is up to your parenting skills

too bad a lot of Nigerians don t seem to get that

Having a ring on your finger does not save one from gekbg deadbeat

infact, most deadbeat parents wear rings

djon78:
Ah that one na normal thing for black Americans. You go see one woman born for many different men and be collecting child support. Na from them babymama was learnt by our celebrities.

What is still keeping some of us sane is our parents example. Because a lot of our parents had good marriages. My parents have lived in peace together for 40 years.

So we have no reason not to be responsible

Yeah dats true
Even d bad eggs among d females don go hide under d roof of church, na after marriage day day show their real self,

Person gat too look b4 he leap o,

xendra:
then you must be crazy o, pregnancy doesn't count? that's first of all the most important part and we carry it for 9freaking months of not sleeping comfortably for most. so shut up.

you are missing the point

getting pregnant is a biological thing

This thread is talking about the roles of both genders

Being pregnant is a biological thing that ONLY WOMEN CAN DO

so that does not count in this case

Not that it's not important, but it does not count IN THIS CASE.

Ugosample:
I agree with most of what you said

apart from this part

"They were taught right"

That's a lie

Most Nigerians were not taught right.

Beating kids like goats is not equivalent to teaching right.

Well, correcting a child in love by using the rod has been an African way of instilling morals and it's been working quite good till the generation of woke parents came into being.
I'm not an advocate of beating kids like animals but there's a need to correct them using the rod at times. Even the Bible says "Spare the rod and spoil the child".

Johnbosco1:
Wonderful piece by OP, if I may...

One of the greatest reasons why we have broken homes I must say, is LACK OF TOLERANCE AND PASSION TO BECOME EVEN that is so prevalent amongst mothers. It has become a Pandora's box with cans of Worm inside that is so much eating up marriages and it seems everyone has failed to comprehend it.

Besides the terrible state of our country which I believe contributes to the rate of broken marriages, mothers on the other hand, seem to have forgotten how important they are to their Children. They have neglected the most important bond on earth, "mothers-child-bond".

While I was growing up, I could point out so many irresponsible men that have had successful marriage because of the breed of awesome women(wives) they had. But today, the so called "responsible men" are not making it to a successful five years in marriage, let alone the irresponsible ones. But why is that?

I spoke to a lady who the husband had accused of cheating and her response to me was in the light of this "yes he cheated on me with my best friend and I felt the need to become even, so I cheated on him with his best friend too". What the heck! What's even more annoying, was that she had with her, their four and six year old kids who were being cuddled by their father while she explained her part of the story to me. I was speechless. I felt ashamed, not to talk more, disturbed. This experience made me rethink in a heartbeat about those days as a child when I watched Mom and Dad argue(never about cheating) and I felt that Dad was always at fault, that there was no shred of guilt, whatsoever on mom. Was my discernment really fair on Dad at those moments? Or was I being sentimental because of this "mother-child-bond" that binds Mom and all of my Siblings together? Whether or not these were the right thoughts at that point in time was not my problem.

While the behaviors of the parents have an impact on their child(ren), mothers however have been known to have the greatest impact. In fact, a family without a mother has had a hugh vacuum no one would ever fill for a very long time if not forever. Children tend to capitalize and act more on their mother's behavior so easily than they will with their father.

Irresponsibility among fathers have always been but what we see now is nothing close to being irresponsible. They are pure "proud fakeass efekefe ungrateful yawoyawo overstylish fathers" who find it so hard to say "thank you" to their wives after eating a meal prepared by them.

It pains me so much when I see many cute couples' pre-wedding and wedding photos on Nairaland/others just to realize that they may not live up to those "early love, trust, happiness and vow". Weeping.... Someone please get me a hanky...hmmmm....wiping my nose, then eyes....

I am sad. I sometimes feel scared of what the future holds. Should I remain single? Should I join the click of men that are producing "babymamas upandown"? No way! I love kids and I can't stand the thought of them not enjoying both their parents simultaneously like I did. I still do. And if my Mum and Dad can do it, I sure as hail can do it, even better.

If you are reading this, this is challenge to you. Others have failed doesn't mean yours will. You can do better. You are far better than them. I wish us courage, real love, trust, "our significant rib". I wish us well.


PS. LETTER TO MY DEAR FUTURE WIFE!!!

Dear future wife,

If you are reading this, I promise to give you all the love and attention in the world that I can give plus 100% of my vow.

Please kindly cross my path IF you are ready to give all to me

Yours future Hubby,
Johnbosco

It's not fair putting this on women tho

We should have NEVER made it seem OK for men to be "irresponsible" or have a free pass btw.

Now the women have had enough, and everything don scatter.

The day a lot of men retrace their steps, things will turn out a whole lot better

The world's problem is godlessness. Many values that people hold are not in tandem with happiness they seek.

Gleefreak125:
Well, correcting a child in love by using the rod has been an African way of instilling morals and it's been working quite good till the generation of woke parents came into being.
I'm not an advocate of beating kids like animals but there's a need to correct them using the rod at times. Even the Bible says "Spare the rod and spoil the child".

Wrong again

Flogging people like goats was not "instilling" morals at any time in our history

if that is the case, why is the society filled with so much evil practiced by people across are groups?


Africans have always been morally bankrupt fellows ; just that these days, we can't coceak it anymore

Omudia11:
Seems you didn't read the post. It has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that children born out of wedlock are more likely to end up as liabilities to the society.

that is very untrue!!!

xendra:
ode, when last you carry pregnancy? our role can never be equal, women do more

and you have to insult to pass your comment

xendra:
then you must be crazy o, pregnancy doesn't count? that's first of all the most important part and we carry it for 9freaking months of not sleeping comfortably for most. so shut up.

you are too aggressive...take it easy

Ugosample:
Wrong again

Flogging people like goats was not "instilling" morals at any time in our history

if that is the case, why is the society filled with so much evil practiced by people across are groups?


Africans have always been morally bankrupt fellows ; just that these days, we can't coceak it anymore

OK, then. I'd like to know how you were trained and who you plan on training your wards. If the rod will be totally out of the equation, that's fine but remember "Madness lies in the heart of a child and with a rod will you chase such out".

Ugosample:
you are missing the point

getting pregnant is a biological thing

This thread is talking about the roles of both genders

Being pregnant is a biological thing that ONLY WOMEN CAN DO

so that does not count in this case

Not that it's not important, but it does not count IN THIS CASE.

my dear leave biology, these are all family roles and before men became lazy or life became harder, it was solely the role of the man to protect and provide for his family as it is for the woman to bare children and cater for the man and his.

mogbojaiye:
Yeah dats true
Even d bad eggs among d females don go hide under d roof of church, na after marriage day day show their real self,

Person gat too look b4 he leap o,

Sure look well but you most of all be prayerful.

God no go gree make you marry woman wet go make your life miserable and also make sure you be good man.

Because sometimes na when man bad to a woman she will give you trouble back.

But when you are good to her, your hands are clean, whatever happen God will fight for you, evil no go come your way.

majekdom2:
It is because the wrong people marry. People with different values, with no complements. It’s as simple as this. Irresponsible men have been around, it is not new. It is only getting worse and the main factor is the environment called Nigeria. Compare the children called born free in South Africa and the children born after the Rwanda Genocide to the children born after 1999 in Nigeria. As Nigeria changed for the better, why would you expect a better family?

Yes, irresponsible men have been around but most women were too timid and naive to walk away, society also played its part in keeping these women in such bondage. My mom was married to my dad in late 80's, he was a womanizer, he had more wives after her but she couldnt complain cos society supported it. He used her as a punching bag 4 years but she remained with him because family believed he was correcting her. No woman will take such from any man these days, thats d difference between then and now

kazyhm:
You case is even worst Satan this Satan that

Thats how powerful that guy is o! He can deceive u to make u believe that he doesn't have a hand in any of our problems. Quite alright, we have ourselves to blame for a lot of tings that befall us but the scriptures clearly point out the tricks and deceits of the devil. Besides, wat do u think? Shey bible no get better advice in?

kazyhm:
You case is even worst Satan this Satan that

Thats how powerful that guy is o! He can deceive u to make u believe that he doesn't have a hand in any of our problems. Quite alright, we have ourselves to blame for a lot of tings that befall us but the scriptures clearly point out the tricks and deceits of the devil. Besides, wat do u think? Shey bible no get better advice ni?

Johnbosco1:
Wonderful piece by OP, if I may...

One of the greatest reasons why we have broken homes I must say, is LACK OF TOLERANCE AND PASSION TO BECOME EVEN that is so prevalent amongst mothers. It has become a Pandora's box with cans of Worm inside that is so much eating up marriages and it seems everyone has failed to comprehend it.

Besides the terrible state of our country which I believe contributes to the rate of broken marriages, mothers on the other hand, seem to have forgotten how important they are to their Children. They have neglected the most important bond on earth, "mothers-child-bond".

While I was growing up, I could point out so many irresponsible men that have had successful marriage because of the breed of awesome women(wives) they had. But today, the so called "responsible men" are not making it to a successful five years in marriage, let alone the irresponsible ones. But why is that?

I spoke to a lady who the husband had accused of cheating and her response to me was in the light of this "yes he cheated on me with my best friend and I felt the need to become even, so I cheated on him with his best friend too". What the heck! What's even more annoying, was that she had with her, their four and six year old kids who were being cuddled by their father while she explained her part of the story to me. I was speechless. I felt ashamed, not to talk more, disturbed. This experience made me rethink in a heartbeat about those days as a child when I watched Mom and Dad argue(never about cheating) and I felt that Dad was always at fault, that there was no shred of guilt, whatsoever on mom. Was my discernment really fair on Dad at those moments? Or was I being sentimental because of this "mother-child-bond" that binds Mom and all of my Siblings together? Whether or not these were the right thoughts at that point in time was not my problem.

While the behaviors of the parents have an impact on their child(ren), mothers however have been known to have the greatest impact. In fact, a family without a mother has had a hugh vacuum no one would ever fill for a very long time if not forever. Children tend to capitalize and act more on their mother's behavior so easily than they will with their father.

Irresponsibility among fathers have always been but what we see now is nothing close to being irresponsible. They are pure "proud fakeass efekefe ungrateful yawoyawo overstylish fathers" who find it so hard to say "thank you" to their wives after eating a meal prepared by them.

It pains me so much when I see many cute couples' pre-wedding and wedding photos on Nairaland/others just to realize that they may not live up to those "early love, trust, happiness and vow". Weeping.... Someone please get me a hanky...hmmmm....wiping my nose, then eyes....

I am sad. I sometimes feel scared of what the future holds. Should I remain single? Should I join the click of men that are producing "babymamas upandown"? No way! I love kids and I can't stand the thought of them not enjoying both their parents simultaneously like I did. I still do. And if my Mum and Dad can do it, I sure as hail can do it, even better.

If you are reading this, this is challenge to you. Others have failed doesn't mean yours will. You can do better. You are far better than them. I wish us courage, real love, trust, "our significant rib". I wish us well.


PS. LETTER TO MY DEAR FUTURE WIFE!!!

Dear future wife,

If you are reading this, I promise to give you all the love and attention in the world that I can give plus 100% of my vow.

Please kindly cross my path IF you are ready to give all to me

Yours future Hubby,
Johnbosco

Good one

Actually we are all living a life of fiction. Parents neglect both their duties. A mother that is supposed to be a good house wife is out there trying to stand on her own by propagating feminism. And what do you expect from a father that live in a society that legalized nudity?

Ugosample:
It's not fair putting this on women tho

We should have NEVER made it seem OK for men to be "irresponsible" or have a free pass btw.

Now the women have had enough, and everything don scatter.

The day a lot of men retrace their steps, things will turn out a whole lot better

U took it out of my mouth. I fear marriage not because i come from a broken home but because i watched my mom sacrifice her life for a man who i Cant confidently say loves her. I know when i get married, i would not want to have a broken home but what if my husband turns out to be like my dad after marriage? It simply means i will live like my mom. endure beatings, working tirelessly to feed my kids and say school fees, watch my husband bring other women to our house etc. D thought of it makes me sick

Omudia11:
Dude, if you know what is going on in America now you will thank God there's still sanity in Nigeria.

I just want the end of humanity, there's nothing interesting about it anymore.

ypeace:
Several research has shown that children who are raised by 2 parents, who are both responsible and dedicated, usually perform well in school. Not only that, the risk for emotional and behavioural problems are lower among children in 2-parent households on average. Crime statistics show that people from stable families are much less likely to be involved in crime than those from fragmented homes.


@op or anyone, please I am interested in the result of these research and statistics. Links to them will be appreciated.

Thanks.

Lol, i Dont know who conducted these researches.

gloria34:
U took it out of my mouth. I fear marriage not because i come from a broken home but because i watched my mom sacrifice her life for a man who i Cant confidently say loves her. I know when i get married, i would not want to have a broken home but what if my husband turns out to be like my dad after marriage? It simply means i will live like my mom. endure beatings, working tirelessly to feed my kids and say school fees, watch my husband bring other women to our house etc. D thought of it makes me sick

you got my point

Boys who grew up in such homes (and I kid you not, a lot of boys in Nigeria did) saw such as normal, and when their partners today are having NONE OF THAT, they are the ones complaining that "women have grown wings" and all that bullshit


No woman should put up with such fvckery, and because SO many women have put up with such fvckery, the men have seen it as a norm and that women should put uo with all that because "he has done her a favour and saved her from shame and being an ""evening newspapers"" by marrying her."

Anyways

DavidEsq:
Thats how powerful that guy is o! He can deceive u to make u believe that he doesn't have a hand in any of our problems. Quite alright, we have ourselves to blame for a lot of tings that befall us but the scriptures clearly point out the tricks and deceits of the devil. Besides, wat do u think? Shey bible no get better advice ni?

Which Bible dey advice you ?

Ugosample:
you got my point

Boys who grew up in such homes (and I kid you not, a lot of boys in Nigeria did) saw such as normal, and when their partners today are having NONE OF THAT, they are the ones complaining that "women have grown wings" and all that bullshit


No woman should put up with such fvckery, and because SO many women have put up with such fvckery, the men have seen it as a norm and that women should put uo with all that because "he has done her a favour and saved her from shame and being an ""evening newspapers"" by marrying her."

Anyways

this is d reason 4 increasing divorce. We also have very irresponsible girls but its higher in boys. Better Nigeria we pray. Happy new year in advance

gloria34:
Yes, irresponsible men have been around but most women were too timid and naive to walk away, society also played its part in keeping these women in such bondage. My mom was married to my dad in late 80's, he was a womanizer, he had more wives after her but she couldnt complain cos society supported it. He used her as a punching bag 4 years but she remained with him because family believed he was correcting her. No woman will take such from any man these days, thats d difference between then and now

sorry about your mum. Any man who hits a woman is the weakest of men. Some women still stay in this relationships but then you are right. This menance can only be curbed when women have more independence and this is largely dependent on the economy and religion.

kazyhm:
Which Bible dey advice you ?

U don't have one?

DavidEsq:
U don't have one?

Stop blaming Satan for your mistakes

Satan is just nowhere in particular



Human is the evil doer.


Stop consoling yourself with imaginary tales

kazyhm:
Stop blaming Satan for your mistakes

Satan is just nowhere in particular



Human is the evil doer.


Stop consoling yourself with imaginary tales

Can u point out where I so blamed the Old Scratch?

majekdom2:
sorry about your mum. Any man who hits a woman is the weakest of men. Some women still stay in this relationships but then you are right. This menance can only be curbed when women have more independence and this is largely dependent on the economy and religion.

They stay in such marriages because they are scared of the stigma that goes with divorce. people will say they could not manage their homes and all that stuff, some stay because they have no source of income, their parents believed that as girls, all they need is a husband who can feed them. I really Dont see things getting better soon

The OP is shallow in many ways. If more men are irresponsible then how do women who go on to be breadwinners become wives of irresponsible men? The norm is that women marry ready made men who are financially ready for marriage. So how does it turn out that women are breadwinners and their once ready made husbands are now irresponsible? The emphasis on irresponsible husbands is completely flawed. Are irresponsible men the sole driver of divorces, single parenthood and broken homes? Marital failure is the result of character failure in either of the partners in a conjugal union... when marriages fail both parties to the marriage bear the brunt. If a women cries foul that her husband is irresponsible then she must be irresponsible to start with because it takes an irresponsible woman to say "yes" to an irresponsible man...

Yea. The problem won’t marriahes today is that women are not willing to tolerate abuse and disrespect from their husbands. How dare they?

Your post is a whole load of bullshit that encourages male misbehavior and passes all the buck on the women to keep tolerating bullshit in order to keep their so called marriages.

Your post is disgusting to say the least.

Johnbosco1:
Wonderful piece by OP, if I may...

One of the greatest reasons why we have broken homes I must say, is LACK OF TOLERANCE AND PASSION TO BECOME EVEN that is so prevalent amongst mothers . It has become a Pandora's box with cans of Worm inside that is so much eating up marriages and it seems everyone has failed to comprehend it.

Besides the terrible state of our country which I believe contributes to the rate of broken marriages, mothers on the other hand, seem to have forgotten how important they are to their Children. They have neglected the most important bond on earth, "mothers-child-bond".

While I was growing up, I could point out so many irresponsible men that have had successful marriage because of the breed of awesome women(wives) they had . But today, the so called "responsible men" are not making it to a successful five years in marriage, let alone the irresponsible ones. But why is that?

I spoke to a lady who the husband had accused of cheating and her response to me was in the light of this "yes he cheated on me with my best friend and I felt the need to become even, so I cheated on him with his best friend too". What the heck! What's even more annoying, was that she had with her, their four and six year old kids who were being cuddled by their father while she explained her part of the story to me. I was speechless. I felt ashamed, not to talk more, disturbed. This experience made me rethink in a heartbeat about those days as a child when I watched Mom and Dad argue(never about cheating) and I felt that Dad was always at fault, that there was no shred of guilt, whatsoever on mom. Was my discernment really fair on Dad at those moments? Or was I being sentimental because of this "mother-child-bond" that binds Mom and all of my Siblings together? Whether or not these were the right thoughts at that point in time was not my problem.

While the behaviors of the parents have an impact on their child(ren), mothers however have been known to have the greatest impact . In fact, a family without a mother has had a hugh vacuum no one would ever fill for a very long time if not forever. Children tend to capitalize and act more on their mother's behavior so easily than they will with their father.

Irresponsibility among fathers have always been but what we see now is nothing close to being irresponsible. They are pure "proud fakeass efekefe ungrateful yawoyawo overstylish fathers" who find it so hard to say "thank you" to their wives after eating a meal prepared by them.

It pains me so much when I see many cute couples' pre-wedding and wedding photos on Nairaland/others just to realize that they may not live up to those "early love, trust, happiness and vow". Weeping.... Someone please get me a hanky...hmmmm....wiping my nose, then eyes....

I am sad. I sometimes feel scared of what the future holds. Should I remain single? Should I join the click of men that are producing "babymamas upandown"? No way! I love kids and I can't stand the thought of them not enjoying both their parents simultaneously like I did. I still do. And if my Mum and Dad can do it, I sure as hail can do it, even better.

If you are reading this, this is challenge to you. Others have failed doesn't mean yours will. You can do better. You are far better than them. I wish us courage, real love, trust, "our significant rib". I wish us well.


PS. LETTER TO MY DEAR FUTURE WIFE!!!

Dear future wife,

If you are reading this, I promise to give you all the love and attention in the world that I can give plus 100% of my vow.

Please kindly cross my path IF you are ready to give all to me

Yours future Hubby,
Johnbosco