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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons (52839 Views)
Should I Divorce Or Remain Subjected To This Punishment For My Infidelity? / Should I Divorce My Wife? / Should I divorce my wife for this? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by galaxy2020(m): 9:54am On Jan 02, 2019 |
It's obvious she doesn't respect u as her husband. It's also possible hr ex is bleepng her secretly. You are definately not incharge of ur home. You tolerate too much b**'s**t. 7 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Daeylar(f): 9:54am On Jan 02, 2019 |
This thread is something else. I don't understand from this part. She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep .she picked up a knife to stab you, I'm not interested in the deepness or not of the cut, but she picked up a knife to stab you, and SHE ACTUALLY STABBED YOU and yet you still stayed married and even impregnated her, to this point where her dad has to tell you that you should consider your Health and leave her Why did you stay?? I don't know how to get a divorce fast but I'm glad you're finally leaving. Please divorce, before we read on FP Woman is arrested for stabbing her husband to death. And take your son with you, She is cannot be trusted with him before she stabs him in a fit of rage. 12 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Osezzua(m): 9:55am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Did I just hear u say U don't wanna die before ur time? U are dead already if u continue living with that woman. From ur story, it seems u can afford to rent at least, a one-bedroom flat. Go n get another apartment and stay away from her for now. Plzzzzzzzzzzz 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by AntiWailer: 9:55am On Jan 02, 2019 |
lol "She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person." The day any woman attempt this. That is the end of the whole rubbish we call whatever. I even made it clear, if u destroy my properties, it is over cos i am sure that same spirit go tell u to 'chuck' me knife in my dreams. Now be a man. Forget divorce nonsense or proceedings. Get your clothes one after the other and walk away. Leave the house for her. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by obonujoker(m): 9:55am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Hoodbilonia: Lol... Baba... You don't make me overlaff o.... |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Evercurious(f): 9:55am On Jan 02, 2019 |
royalamour: YOU KNOW YOUR FAULT? YOU RE TOO NICE TO A FAULT... THATS YOUR WEAKNESS AND SHE KNOWS 7 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by KingAzari: 9:55am On Jan 02, 2019 |
royalamour: You are from another planet, I swear. I have been married for 6 year and I can't take 5% of what you just narrated above. I had some disagreement that bothered on her constant nagging and bickering with my wife last month and I left home for 4 days. It took both families, friends and even my boss to make me go back to my house. I don't like violence; domestic or otherwise, so i had to bail out of the house when it was obvious that the real intent of my wife that day was to provoke to the point of beating her. I just took a few things and jumped into my car and left. What i will suggest is that you find a place to stay and go to work while the impasse rages. I do not know how old your child is but make sure your plan includes your child/children. 6 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Scetrocom: 9:56am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Vcent50: (Thanks for this beautiful advise) Op. Please apply wisdom to tackle the situation. Marital unfaithfulness from wife is a serious issue and could claim your life if care is not taking. If you are a strong believer, go and pray seriously about the way forward and seek the intervention of genuine brethren and minister of God that can genuinely assist you in prayer. Avoid confrontation as much as possible. Meticulously map out how to separate from her on the ground of marital unfaithfulness and ensure you legalise it. Prepare to change your location after divorce and make solid plan for your baby. I don't support divorce, but when there is marital unfaithfulness and life is under threat, you are free to take a step to prevent the unthinkable. 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Newboss(m): 9:57am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Nice, go ahead bro Nice guys suffer this shìt a lot. I see why folks go hard on ladies 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by deafeyez: 9:57am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Cigo1:He can't beat her. His wife looks thick while he might be average in height. From his expression, he looks like a weakling. How dare my wife bring a third party woman to my home. May God help us sha. 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by ehissi(m): 9:58am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Tþ |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by 15ssDRIVE(m): 9:58am On Jan 02, 2019 |
First line of action: excape -run 4 ur life. Make sure you do it better than Usain Bolt. If money dey,leave everything for her...... the one way man hustle for they finish,Na the one dem dash you with force go last ? Lawyers go dey him house dey gbadun with him wife,when dem go come dey call ambulance for your enemy...... again run pass usain bolt. Your life Na the paramount tin here oh. |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Onyi22(f): 9:59am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Hmmmmmm |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by justmenoni: 9:59am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Doesn't sound real to me, haba!!! 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by dukeo(m): 9:59am On Jan 02, 2019 |
royalamour: After the marriage, apart from all the texts do you have evidence that she's been with another man? |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by anonymuz(m): 9:59am On Jan 02, 2019 |
demelza:true talk. |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by ehissi(m): 10:00am On Jan 02, 2019 |
royalamour: Do not disturb or bother her anymore to perform any more duties as expected of a wife. I wish I could counsel you one-on-one on the best way to plan your divorce. But unfortunately, your story is filled with a lot of missing pieces. 1.Things I was expecting to see is, your family for instance, are they aware of all this and what is their take on your next move and what is their suggestions on a next move. 2. Your friends, tight buddies, what input or suggestions have they offered and what role have they played in your life so far since you got married. 3. What do you sincerely - And I mean sincerely - think you may have done or are still doing that encourages her consistent behaviour or shall we say misbehaviour. 4. Her family, what is the conclusion of her extended family concerning her behaviour. What kind of person do they now see her as now. 5. Have you ever been discovered in a misdemeanour of your own, be very brutally frank and honest with yourself; have you ever cheated on her and she found out, be 100% honest, and judge yourself as a man without sentiments. Have you acted out of line as a husband yes or no (And that "I am a man" bullshit doesnt apply here). 6. Most time during or outside an argument, what does she constantly accuse you of being or doing that she doesn't like. Typically what does she always say you do to her, as in her "you have started again", complain that you are fond of doing that she does not like. 7. Is she a house wife by chance or by choice? Because your story suggests that she is a house wife. Was it a consenual decision or did you insist that she doesn't work, because I perceive serious idleness on her part. 8. What is her level of education and where did you first meet? What did you guys used to do or go to for fun before you got married. 9. Where you guys physically intimate before you got married? Where you having sex before you got married, I ask because experience with most guys, show that their judgement in assessing girls for marriage is usually clouded by physical/sexually intimacy. She may be showing signs of misdemeanour but such things get waved off by guys who are on a natural high from good supply of "touching body". 10. How did you get married? Did you do traditional wedding in her parents place in their village or just in my father's how in town? Did you do church wedding or court wedding or both? If you did church wedding, was input has the church you wedded/attending made since you got married. If you are Muslim, what input has the alfa made since you got married. 11. When last did you pray for her or concerning what's happening! These and many other things I will need to know to give the best advice. For now; these are my do's and don'ts for you. For someone planning a divorce 1. But first, buy a spy glass that isnt so obvious and document your heart to heart conversations with her. From screen shot, to audio recordings to spy glass video recordings, give yourself 2 years, document as many anomalies that exist in your home. 2. Never, ever argue with your wife. I am a firm believer in the ability to live with your wife and never argue. It is an insult to do so, you are free to have different shades of opinion on a matter, even to disagree on a subject but an argument is nonsense. In an argument, the focus is on each other and not the issue and that's where people start to denigrate and deprecate each other. Simply call her and tell her your mind about how you feel about a thing/issue with sound reasons and leave it alone, if she agrees with it and respects you enough to comply; fine! .......if she doesn't hold your peace and ignore it. Since you are on your way to a divorce, just document it and move on. Never be vindictive in doing this at any stage. 3. Seriously consider what you want to start seeing in your home and let her know it. Do your best and continue to be the good husband that you ought to be. Ask yourself, what kind of place do you want your home to be. Take time out to call her once in a while and softly tell her some things she needs to start doing as your wife(not as a married woman, not as other women are doing it but as a woman living as your own wife); no insults, no heated debates, no arguments, no comparisons with other homes/women (See rule number one again for emphasis). 4. Maintain rule one and rule two consistently for 2 years. No matter how provoked you are by an acts she takes, simply talk to her and leave it at that. Never try to slap, insult, make comparison. Tell her gently, smile sef join, document and leave it. 5. Look for mininum of 2 people you can trust to be absolutely discreet. One ought to be family or closer/bolder than family, the other should be your attorney . You will need these 2 for sanity purpose because a man can only take so much before he loses his mind. Ensure you have a cloud storage website on the internet, e.g. 4shared.com or even your email where you preserve all the evidence acquired over 2 years. Your attorney should have that password. 6. Never confront her over anything you find abnormal for your home, if you must; document it - video or audio - and preserve it as well. Also ensure you have a member of her family that is aware of extraordinary things that should not happen - like her sleeping with someone else, or maintaining a close relationship with her ex. Take note, extraordinary things only 7. If you must report anything she does in this season, it is to be done for information purposes only. And it must be only when extremely necessary and no more. Outside your trust circle, which must include an attorney for divorce purposes, be very discreet with information on your home. N.B: a lawyer is not only necessary if you did a court wedding. If you did a proper traditional marriage, a customary court can also annul your marriage. Then after 2 years, a simple review of where you are in your life and what the evidence you have documented so far will determine how best to proceed....... I don't typically support/advice people to get a divorce, but waiting till she lace your meal with rat poison isn't a marriage either. Plus I am totally unware of her side to this story, so many fragments to this story is missing...... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Daeylar(f): 10:00am On Jan 02, 2019 |
demelza: I've always seen this said, but I've never believed this advice. I always feel that if a woman pretends like this just to get married, the man can still leave her and marry someone else no matter how submissive she is. Then it will be just unnecessary stress the woman put herself through 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Vtrd: 10:00am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Which type of men dey around nowadays sef? Woman stabbed you and you just dey look am? She is worse than an enemy. I would go treat myself first, but she knows I must not meet her at home when I get back. na she go divorce by herself. You are weak. 7 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by socialmediaman: 10:01am On Jan 02, 2019 |
EfemenaXY: This comes in very handy from a mature mind, hopefully OP and someone else learns from it. Captured my opinion as well. Would be great to hear from her side before drawing any conclusions. The marriage has certainly become very toxic and I sense a lot of selfishness and negligence possibly from both parties. There was a similar story I was privy to. Turned out she was desperate about marriage and overlooked his bossy and imposing character as well as his untruthfulness and rudeness too. She was a fighter too so she wanted her opinion heard. Long story short, it ended up in fist fights, lack of trust and unfaithfulness. 5 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by AmeLonRo(m): 10:01am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Every month we shall have a series of essay contests (maximum 600 words). This is to stimulate our writing, reading and communication skills. Three Winners of the essay contests will be chosen based on originality, structure and grammar. Winners each month will each get N400 airtime of any network sent to their phone numbers. For the month of January 2019, the essay contest is on the topic...... Continue at https://newkokoro.com/2019/01/02/win-n400-airtime-in-january-2019-essay-contest/ 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Incomparable(f): 10:01am On Jan 02, 2019 |
This is what always happens when a man desires a slave for a wife or vice visa then the bad ones study you and pretend along, just to hook you. Had it been, you are the type that shows love and allow your girl to be herself, there wouldn't be any need for a monster to pretend to be an angel, just to hook you. I pray God safes you from this mistake you've made. Next time, give more love than receiving, with that, the lady will feel too relax, and from there you'll know her true colour, otherwise, you will continue to get wolf in sheep's clothing as wife. People study other people's major weakness and use it as a strong weapon to defeat you. My opinion though. 6 Likes |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by hibrahim(m): 10:01am On Jan 02, 2019 |
BlacSmit: You said the truth in a funny way but it is not funny at all. My advice for the man is to run for his life. Even the bible said one of the conditions to divorce is if your partner is an unbeliever. The woman is a chronic unbeliever. Chai! May God separate us from evil |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Heineken(m): 10:03am On Jan 02, 2019 |
This is serious... Can I really take this? Imagine the stabbing...nawao |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by HolyTitus(m): 10:03am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Wow! Egbon, lemme koko commend you on your suuru and perseverance; i know you did all those things you did for her thinking pe o si ma ni change of mind for the better - only a few men could do that.......... But don't you think it's hightime you gift her the ominira she'd been craving for all these while before she gives your life ominira away this earth; i believe you got my illustration..... Move on with aye yin cos this life ehn; o simple gann, Olorun..... Pls, do the needful on time and let her learn the hard way. Peace out |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by permit(m): 10:04am On Jan 02, 2019 |
MoxxxxO123:thank you |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by thunderbabs: 10:04am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Atimes, i wonder how a learned person wld be asking stupid questions. Get a divorce lawyer now to facilitate the divorce or you myt not live to see 2020 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by DMerciful(m): 10:04am On Jan 02, 2019 |
You took all these shits in the name of marriage? Listen, marriage is not a do or die, if it becomes toxic,walk away fast. In all honesty, you are lucky to still be alive....Seek divorce as a matter of urgency and I expect you to separate first before something happens to you like a robbery case where you would be killed as the alibi royalamour: |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by brainhgeek(m): 10:05am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Why do I strangely feel like I need to read her own side of the story? 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Daeylar(f): 10:05am On Jan 02, 2019 |
Evercurious: Good question abeg. |
Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by Moukandjo: 10:06am On Jan 02, 2019 |
I repeat for the umpteenth time: Men, marry ONLY virgins to be, at least, sure of the mileage of your future wife's puna & also reduce the chances of Okafor's law like this happening; other attributes can follow after! Una no go gree! Instead, una go dey form virginity doesn't matter! Op, stay there until she gets pregnant for the ex & pushes it to you o!!! Shior!!! 8 Likes
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Re: How Can I Divorce Expressly? See My Reasons by uckennety(m): 10:06am On Jan 02, 2019 |
royalamour: Bros What are you waiting for? You don't need nairaland for wisdom Bros 1stly send your son away and throw that whóre out! But don't forget to beat her blue and black before doing it! Involve all kinds of things for her! As she could stab,shoot or kill you at any provocation! Don't go low or look at her as a girl! Look at her as your fellow man! Two men can't be married and stay happily ever after 3 Likes 1 Share |
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