₦airaland Forum

amhelpless:
having baby mamas is far better than marriage nowadays, I already have 2 baby mamas just waiting for my ex that left me when I was broke then, she has been trying to come back now, I can't wait to get her pregnant, by the time the baby is 3 months , I will get another baby Mama.

that will make it 4 kids.. boom!!
I'm done with child bearing..
I can't come and die because of one lazy girl.

Willie2015:
U may not know the whole story....

the husband may have been the whole cause....

He got no option than to endure it...

Dude! Caused nothing. I wanted to wish you a lady like her as a wife but, I will just let it slide.

Josephamstrong1:
Men of todaaaaaaay!
How did we get here?
Back in day, you don't hear all these shitty cow dung stories about wives fighting and stabbing or trying to stab their husbands. As a matter of fact, we married more than two wives and yet we have them under control.
And here we are, can't even manage a relationship, talk more of one wife in a marriage.
The land needs cleansing.
The gods need to be appeased.

I tell you.So many weak men everywhere these days.Sometimes,I wonder how and where they grew up.Really terrible,no wonder many girls these days are misbehaving,showing rude and animalistic characters,challenging and insulting guys without remorse cos they have stayed with so many weak men hence they feel all men are like that.
Aru!

Josephamstrong1:
Men of todaaaaaaay!
How did we get here?
Back in day, you don't hear all these shitty cow dung stories about wives fighting and stabbing or trying to stab their husbands. As a matter of fact, we married more than two wives and yet we have them under control.
And here we are, can't even manage a relationship, talk more of one wife in a marriage.
The land needs cleansing.
The gods need to be appeased.
Aru!

royalamour:
Please don't mind the typos and other errors.

Acidosis:
You didn't address the ex issues before your wedding. Marriage will not automatically erase a woman's feelings toward an ex. If she didn't get over her ex before marriage, she won't in marriage. Aside the change of name and that band, marriage changes nothing. A cheat and a careless person will always remain the same until a conscious effort is made; it doesn't matter where you conduct your wedding, Paris or Rome.

More importantly, the world these days don't give a fck about married women, you can go ahead to wear 25 wedding bands. The same kind of conversations you hold before marriage will always come back to live. Those randy buddies won't care whether you're married to a Pope or a Senator.
Gone are the days were people consciously respect married women. A married woman that wants to be respected needs to respect herself before marriage.

Bottom line, your wife hasn't changed. You only decided to get played at the onset. I bet you didn't even care to know about her past (you're probably one of those folks who claim they don't care about the past). Oh well, the past will always come to haunt those who fail to address them. Getting to know about these exes after 2 years in marriage shows the kind of courtship you had.

On whether to divorce her or not? I think you should listen to your in-laws. When your own in-law tells you to quit after several attempts to correct their daughter, trust me, only a f00l will advise you to continue. I don't know more than her parents who raised and trained her. They probably even know more than you do, so listen to them and listen to that inner voice.

Now unless you're marrying a total virgin, you need to dig deep without raising trust issues. Don't ever make the mistake you made in this marriage in your next attempt.

All the best bruv.

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

Willie2015:
U dont always know the whole story until you hear from the other party....
I have seen a case just like this Ops story ....
We all blamed the wife ...
We had to convened a meeting with both families....
When the wife started telling us how the husband gave her HIV...
For over year, she is always feeling sick ..... while the husband is taking his own drugs secretly...
And she didnt even know that she is positive till a friend persuade her to do a test.
Na so everybody mouth heavy for the meeting.....

ChiefSweetus:
Buddha... I made my penultimate comment without knowing you were on this thread.
I am surprised (and slightly disappointed) to see such a reticent submission from you ...

MyGeneration:
Guy just settle down go bar buy one bottle of McDonald's dowels drink enough to get u high but not too much then look for somebody around that sells weed ask for Arizona smoke up as u walk home just start thinking about your wife and all she has put you through I swear by the time u get home the highness plus the annoyance and the frustration u go beat sense enter her head that day. When u finish throw her like load outside anything way want happen make e happen.

ocelot2006:
This is why I'm a strong proponent for courtships over one year long. It gives both partners time to know each other, and any form of pretense slowly, but surely, breaks down OR begins to wither, thus exposing the real person behind the mask.

As for the advice, someone rightly pointed out that the relationship has turned toxic. I strongly recommend that he moves out OR take his wife back to her parents, then file for divorce.

id4sho:
My dear things are happening but many folks think it's a joke. My own dad died cuz of this similar shit, hope he has boys that will later take dat house

BuddhaPalm:
Chief my man...

I have a feeling this is all mental masturbātion for this guy.

He won't take any action.

Saffi:
You’re indirectly making your life a living hell but you are yet to see it. Time will tell. Nothing wrong with marriage, just look properly, before you jump.

amhelpless:
I don't believe that, i will do anything to run away from Nigerians girls who are just opportunist with their believe that marriage is a free meal ticket and escape route for their family from poverty because you married them, my Mama is a retired principal she love kids , I can not allow one lazy hungry girl to come and stab me.
after dating my ex thru 300 level, law sch year, nysc year paying bills , she then told me one NNPC guy asked her out? anyway the guy has dumped her and she want to come back, I must make her a baby mama, that is the only way to recover what I spent on her.
she was the one who changed my manner of approach.

ChiefSweetus:
Lol True.
P.s. bro, you keep calling me that name and I cannot fathom why. Hope we edit at nearly same time and keep our social media footprint as anonymous error-free as possible. Thanks.

MoxxxxO123:
In as much as you are experiencing this tough situation in your marriage divorce won't be a way out of this, firstly you take it to God in prayers..For the sake of your well being and your son find a way to act blind to her while you still make efforts for the marriage.dont seek divorce or separation at this time

EfemenaXY:
Divorce. Divorce. Divorce.

Divorce isn’t always the answer to marital problems and should never be taken lightly especially when there are children involved.

This should only ever be the last resort if all else has failed.

Besides, there’s always three sides to every story:

~ His side
~ Her side
~ The truth

Based purely on your side of the story, you need to do some serious soul searching and ask yourself why your wife changed overnight.

The first few years of marriage are the honeymoon stage. You courted this woman for 11 months. That’s quite a while to have studied her. There is no way a person can keep up the pretence for 11 long months (unless yours was a long distance relationship?). There must have been red flags. You just chose to ignore them.

Nonetheless, there HAS to be a reason why she’s suddenly turned 360^os on you. Obviously there appears to be:

1. An emotional black hole in your relationship. The ex turning up is a symptom of the underlying issues with your marriage. A woman would only turn to an ex or another man if her emotional needs aren’t being met. For example when discussing with your wife, do you seek her opinion / input or do you wave aside her views? Do you say “Thank you” to make her feel appreciated when she gives / does something you are a recipient of? What is your sex life like with her? Do you take the time to satisfy her needs? Or is it all about you, you, and you? Is life with you one endless boring routine? Or do you make efforts to spice it up?

2. Trust Issues. When a wife starts stashing away huge sums of cash in secret, it means she’s preparing a nest egg for herself and her kids without you in the picture. Most times this action arises from betrayal or if she perceives you to have betrayed her. Have you ever cheated on her? Or done something to make her feel insecure in your union?

3. Immaturity. A refusal to acknowledge one’s fault / mistake and apologise accordingly is usually down to misplaced pride and immaturity. Wisdom comes with age. How old is your wife?

For a marriage to work, both parties have to roll up their sleeves and get stuck in. You have to ask yourself if there’s any part of you that wants to salvage the marriage. If you do, then you need to ask your wife if she’s still interested in the marriage too.

If the answer is “yes” from both of you, then both of you need to make the effort to save it. Start by seeking help from a neutral third party such as a marriage counsellor. Book a couple of sessions with them so you and wifey can talk through your issues.

Your problems didn’t start today. They’ve festered for over four years so you need to be patient and not expect everything to be miraculously resolved in one day. A lot of patience, perseverance, and constant communication will be needed to get your relationship back to a healthy state.

It is well.

royalamour:
Please don't mind the typos and other errors.

sandra50:
Which boys?2 of his sons are boko Haram..they joined their mother in killing their father just because the mother started taking care of them after the mother sold his house..cares..rendered his business useless all in the name of doing politics that she never won any but kept sleeping around with them.

He told me my daughter..all my children no one is by myself..they have all left me because I nolonger have money..this was the last discussion I had with him and so many other things he said before he had stroke like 3 months later which lead to his death for weeks later.
I don't even know if it's the woman that covered him with a nylon back so she wouldn't have to carry his poo for long because he told me we wouldn't even know if they kill him in that house.

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

Powerexpert:
Is she holding a gun to your head?