₦airaland Forum

dukeprince50:
no he won't, he will get over it, break up with him with time you will also get over it, both of you will just think back and smile, but if you can't stay without him then cut down those admirers, don't even put them in friendzone. Focus on Gbenga, earning a trust is not easy, you can earn sm1 trust in 2yrs and if u break d trust, it could take even a lifetime to get it back.
If he insults you again, tell him how u feel and there is no way he should punish you everyday for a mistake you did and regretted, don't sound like a victim but make h know u really feel bad about your actions then tell him you can't be in a tormenting r/ship and u want to stay away from him a little to heal, don't call him for a week, there is a 90% chance he will muss u and want u back.
wen he calls you, snub his first call that will make him want u more but pick his second call, if he says he is sorry, no do shakara, just accept his apology and go with him.

Yemaica:
So I have been dating Gbenga for about 3 years now, A serious relationship intending to become a married life very very soon but I am at the point where I am not sure if he is the right person for me to marry.

I have been given it some thought lately and I am very confused.

Please Nairalanders I need your help, I believe that the point of view from someone tht don’t know me is very important because he/she will speak plainly without the fear of hurting my feelings.

Gbenga and I started off like the classics, He came to seek my elder sister’s approval before I could say yes. And my pastor’s too. He is very honest and caring,he can spend his last kobo on me and go home broke. I can remember when I asked him what his intention was before I brought him to my sister. He said will not promise me all the money in the world but he would make sure I never regret any moment with him.

..Fast forward to the beginning of the whole wahala…[b][/b]

I must confess I did hurt Gbenga and I have learnt from my mistake and I am changed. During the first year of our relationship cheated on him more than once for reasons I later realized to be stupid and ashamed of. Gbenga forgave me and made me promise never to do it again.

Ever since, Things never remained the same again. Initially, Gbenga like my best friend, my mentor advising and guiding me through in every aspect of my life. But after the issue we had, My boyfriend became over protective, always trying to make sure I don’t repeat the same mistake again. He move from being a mentor to being my obsessed and wicked secondary school counsellor. That’s is not even a problem for me, I can deal with that. But what I can’t deal with is:
• He claimed that I don’t love him, that if I really do, it will be written all over me. OKAY I started showing that I really love him.
• He came back again saying that I am trying to please him, he doesn’t want to be pleased that I should show him how much I love him in my own way. I WAS CONFUSED AT HEARING THIS, I still am and I am trying but I think too much intelligence is worrying this guy. But I am trying.


I don’t really have friends or time to make one because of the nature of my job. Majority of my friends are guys who mostly started off from toasting me then ended up in my friends’ zone and all this I tell Gbenga. Sometimes he act normal and we joke about it and he advices me to stay clear of their cunny strategies and other time is a different story entirely, He gives me this attitude especially when I make new ones.

..Something happened recently that stroked a cord in my nerve...

Gbenga is always telling my how dumb I can be around guys, saying that I can be easily manipulated and guys can easily bed with me because I lack the etiquette and sense to counter them or even detecting they are scammers. I swear I usually boil when he starts preaching this sermon on my head.

Yemaica:
So I have been dating Gbenga for about 3 years now, A serious relationship intending to become a married life very very soon but I am at the point where I am not sure if he is the right person for me to marry.

I have been given it some thought lately and I am very confused.

Please Nairalanders I need your help, I believe that the point of view from someone tht don’t know me is very important because he/she will speak plainly without the fear of hurting my feelings.

Gbenga and I started off like the classics, He came to seek my elder sister’s approval before I could say yes. And my pastor’s too. He is very honest and caring,he can spend his last kobo on me and go home broke. I can remember when I asked him what his intention was before I brought him to my sister. He said will not promise me all the money in the world but he would make sure I never regret any moment with him.

..Fast forward to the beginning of the whole wahala…[b][/b]

I must confess I did hurt Gbenga and I have learnt from my mistake and I am changed. During the first year of our relationship cheated on him more than once for reasons I later realized to be stupid and ashamed of. Gbenga forgave me and made me promise never to do it again.

Ever since, Things never remained the same again. Initially, Gbenga like my best friend, my mentor advising and guiding me through in every aspect of my life. But after the issue we had, My boyfriend became over protective, always trying to make sure I don’t repeat the same mistake again. He move from being a mentor to being my obsessed and wicked secondary school counsellor. That’s is not even a problem for me, I can deal with that. But what I can’t deal with is:
• He claimed that I don’t love him, that if I really do, it will be written all over me. OKAY I started showing that I really love him.
• He came back again saying that I am trying to please him, he doesn’t want to be pleased that I should show him how much I love him in my own way. I WAS CONFUSED AT HEARING THIS, I still am and I am trying but I think too much intelligence is worrying this guy. But I am trying.


I don’t really have friends or time to make one because of the nature of my job. Majority of my friends are guys who mostly started off from toasting me then ended up in my friends’ zone and all this I tell Gbenga. Sometimes he act normal and we joke about it and he advices me to stay clear of their cunny strategies and other time is a different story entirely, He gives me this attitude especially when I make new ones.

..Something happened recently that stroked a cord in my nerve...

Gbenga is always telling my how dumb I can be around guys, saying that I can be easily manipulated and guys can easily bed with me because I lack the etiquette and sense to counter them or even detecting they are scammers. I swear I usually boil when he starts preaching this sermon on my head.

Yemaica:
I really wish i could give full details but cant.

If that is your resolve- to leave him, How will i do that?

After everything i have done. to the man that made me who i am today, ready to defy all odds to marry a girl of another tribe.

How can i do that without breaking his heart?

Yemaica:
So I have been dating Gbenga for about 3 years now, A serious relationship intending to become a married life very very soon but I am at the point where I am not sure if he is the right person for me to marry.

I have been given it some thought lately and I am very confused.

Please Nairalanders I need your help, I believe that the point of view from someone tht don’t know me is very important because he/she will speak plainly without the fear of hurting my feelings.

Gbenga and I started off like the classics, He came to seek my elder sister’s approval before I could say yes. And my pastor’s too. He is very honest and caring,he can spend his last kobo on me and go home broke. I can remember when I asked him what his intention was before I brought him to my sister. He said will not promise me all the money in the world but he would make sure I never regret any moment with him.

..Fast forward to the beginning of the whole wahala…[b][/b]

I must confess I did hurt Gbenga and I have learnt from my mistake and I am changed. During the first year of our relationship cheated on him more than once for reasons I later realized to be stupid and ashamed of. Gbenga forgave me and made me promise never to do it again.

Ever since, Things never remained the same again. Initially, Gbenga like my best friend, my mentor advising and guiding me through in every aspect of my life. But after the issue we had, My boyfriend became over protective, always trying to make sure I don’t repeat the same mistake again. He move from being a mentor to being my obsessed and wicked secondary school counsellor. That’s is not even a problem for me, I can deal with that. But what I can’t deal with is:
• He claimed that I don’t love him, that if I really do, it will be written all over me. OKAY I started showing that I really love him.
• He came back again saying that I am trying to please him, he doesn’t want to be pleased that I should show him how much I love him in my own way. I WAS CONFUSED AT HEARING THIS, I still am and I am trying but I think too much intelligence is worrying this guy. But I am trying.


I don’t really have friends or time to make one because of the nature of my job. Majority of my friends are guys who mostly started off from toasting me then ended up in my friends’ zone and all this I tell Gbenga. Sometimes he act normal and we joke about it and he advices me to stay clear of their cunny strategies and other time is a different story entirely, He gives me this attitude especially when I make new ones.

..Something happened recently that stroked a cord in my nerve...

Gbenga is always telling my how dumb I can be around guys, saying that I can be easily manipulated and guys can easily bed with me because I lack the etiquette and sense to counter them or even detecting they are scammers. I swear I usually boil when he starts preaching this sermon on my head.

Kingdollar28:
#ungreatful_thing

Abfinest007:
marry him fast bcus these kind of men are hard to get .he will change when u guys are finally married

Yemaica:
It feels like a lifes work. like a long term punishment. Please how do you think i can make it right. i am loosing it already.

Newboss:
Nice guys are always the ultimate losers.

Leave that guy and move on.

Yemaica:
So there is this man in my neighborhood I respect alot, I know his family very well, they were my patient in the hospital I used to work with. About 4 weeks ago he called my line requesting that I meet his junior brother (olumide). Was a bit intrigued, I asked him why bust he was beating around the bush. i told him that I am in a serious relationship but he pleaded that there is no harm that I should just meet with him. Out of respect I agreed.

I fixed a date (Christmas eve).A couple of hours before I went to see olumide,I sent gbenga a text that was going to see someone(I later knew that my boyfriend was about to buy me n my elder sis Christmas chicken when he got the text… we ended up eating frozen chicken for Christmas). I went to meet olumide and we had a chat, I told him I am in a serious relationship and he said OK. Immediately I transferred him to my friends zone. Later I spoke with Gbenga and explained everything to him. He was not mad except for the chicken part.

Since then, Olumide calls me to check on me, he was even the first person to call and wish me Happy new year, He made mention in the 1st date that he is into business which caught my interest. So about 2 weeks ago after work right after my shift my boyfriend called and I told him that I was going to see Olumide. He said OKAY NO PROBLEM. I met with Olumide and realized that the business I thought I was interested in never held any water and he was not really into it, he used the meeting as an opportunity to see me again.

After wards, I had a conversation with Gbenga regarding the meeting and how pissed I was to find out that the guy just wanted to see me again. TO MY SURPRISE Gbenga calmly and passionately injected insults into my blood stream in form of an advice. It was so painful it pierced my heart real time as I was reacting with rivers of tears on my face.

I don’t think I can do this anymore.

Ishilove:
This is cold. If he insults you, give him double. If you don't have the liver, desire or motivation to give him double, walk out on him and give him the cold treatment.

Yemaica:
I should not be doing this but i dont know if what i am doing is right telling the world about my problems. i dont want to make another mistake i will regret for the rest of my life.

Yemaica:
So there is this man in my neighborhood I respect alot, I know his family very well, they were my patient in the hospital I used to work with. About 4 weeks ago he called my line requesting that I meet his junior brother (olumide). Was a bit intrigued, I asked him why bust he was beating around the bush. i told him that I am in a serious relationship but he pleaded that there is no harm that I should just meet with him. Out of respect I agreed.

I fixed a date (Christmas eve).A couple of hours before I went to see olumide,I sent gbenga a text that was going to see someone(I later knew that my boyfriend was about to buy me n my elder sis Christmas chicken when he got the text… we ended up eating frozen chicken for Christmas). I went to meet olumide and we had a chat, I told him I am in a serious relationship and he said OK. Immediately I transferred him to my friends zone. Later I spoke with Gbenga and explained everything to him. He was not mad except for the chicken part.

Since then, Olumide calls me to check on me, he was even the first person to call and wish me Happy new year, He made mention in the 1st date that he is into business which caught my interest. So about 2 weeks ago after work right after my shift my boyfriend called and I told him that I was going to see Olumide. He said OKAY NO PROBLEM. I met with Olumide and realized that the business I thought I was interested in never held any water and he was not really into it, he used the meeting as an opportunity to see me again.

After wards, I had a conversation with Gbenga regarding the meeting and how pissed I was to find out that the guy just wanted to see me again. TO MY SURPRISE Gbenga calmly and passionately injected insults into my blood stream in form of an advice. It was so painful it pierced my heart real time as I was reacting with rivers of tears on my face.

I don’t think I can do this anymore.

funmisticqueen:
ask for time out and tell him the reason why is that you are tired of the emotional manipulation since you cheated. Tell him that he never really forgave you. Tell him that he might not trust you anymore but his bwhavior has become toxic and has to stop. Then stop.seeimg both him and olumide for a while. This is very important. Tell him you can only accept him back when he truly forgives you.

This will not be by what he says but his action.(dont tell him this, you shou'd observe him) and forestall all marriage plans for now and test him. Maybe for a year and show that he can trust you. Cos expecting things to go back to square one is too much.

By the way who is richer and has a more established career among the two? Keep olumide in the archives of your friend zone and treat him that way by first coing upnwith excuses when he wants to see you. It doesnt speak well for you when you are easily diatracted by men. If he can snatch you. He probably will label you as easy so stall olumide see how persistent he is.

GiantParrot:
Op,
Let him go. You two are not compatible. Do him a favour by giving him room to find someone who would be a better fit for him. It is a shame he does not have enough self respect to leave you.


Well said. Minor correction: nice guys with low self esteem are losers, and deservingly so. Idiotic niceness is not a virtue. It is a character flaw. Such "nice" guys are enablers of decay in the value systems of any society. Because they incentivize wrong and classless behaviour in women/people, thereby making such behaviour more common place.

dukeprince50:
I'll put myself in gbengas shoe and advice you
you want to gain his love after cheating on him, that's really difficult. you said you will change but you still visit another man who has an interest in u and expect him to believe you didn't have sex with him?
My advice is that, you stay away from those men or stay out of gbengas life, he is going through worse everyday with the thought that you could have slept with someone since you can't close your legs and sleep with men multiple times.
If you want his trust back which I doubt, cut those admirers short, do not talk politely to them, if they ask you out, be rude to them, do not tell Gbenga that you are doing this to them but stylishly make him see how rude you are to them, Gbenga is a good man, cos if it was me, God know I'll never be with a cheating partner like u

Yemaica:
He will hate me forever.

Yemaica:
So there is this man in my neighborhood I respect alot, I know his family very well, they were my patient in the hospital I used to work with. About 4 weeks ago he called my line requesting that I meet his junior brother (olumide). Was a bit intrigued, I asked him why bust he was beating around the bush. i told him that I am in a serious relationship but he pleaded that there is no harm that I should just meet with him. Out of respect I agreed.

I fixed a date (Christmas eve).A couple of hours before I went to see olumide,I sent gbenga a text that was going to see someone(I later knew that my boyfriend was about to buy me n my elder sis Christmas chicken when he got the text… we ended up eating frozen chicken for Christmas). I went to meet olumide and we had a chat, I told him I am in a serious relationship and he said OK. Immediately I transferred him to my friends zone. Later I spoke with Gbenga and explained everything to him. He was not mad except for the chicken part.

Since then, Olumide calls me to check on me, he was even the first person to call and wish me Happy new year, He made mention in the 1st date that he is into business which caught my interest. So about 2 weeks ago after work right after my shift my boyfriend called and I told him that I was going to see Olumide. He said OKAY NO PROBLEM. I met with Olumide and realized that the business I thought I was interested in never held any water and he was not really into it, he used the meeting as an opportunity to see me again.

After wards, I had a conversation with Gbenga regarding the meeting and how pissed I was to find out that the guy just wanted to see me again. TO MY SURPRISE Gbenga calmly and passionately injected insults into my blood stream in form of an advice. It was so painful it pierced my heart real time as I was reacting with rivers of tears on my face.

I don’t think I can do this anymore.

Ishilove:
This is cold. If he insults you, give him double. If you don't have the liver, desire or motivation to give him double, walk out on him and give him the cold treatment.

Sushsu7:
U will end up messing this man life up if you two eventually get married,mean while na God go punish u idiot....ashawo

Omega30:
On a serious, you are cheap, dumb and loose. Leave the guy, and allow serious girls get him! You don't deserve the guy. Girls like you are the ones that made good guys turn to bad guys!!! I like business kor, I like buhari ni. Nonsense!!!

Yemaica:
He has a more fulfilling career for someone in his age. Designing stuffs he calls blueprint for business process and enterprise archit...
see i dont know what else to say.

Thank you

dairykidd:
She's a loose and careless bîtch & the Gbenga is a f00l for thinking she will ever change hence he's putting up with all her shît. What a lot of guys don't know is a hoe will always be a hoe... Never in ur life try to or think u can change her. You only end up changing ur health status, leaving u so close to the grave!!!
The worst part is when a hoe sees nothing wrong in her deeds.. Like imagine this girl (Op) storing/ collecting pipes like its a hobby while she still has the nerve to come here to blame that poor unfortunate boyfriend of hers...

Yemaica:
Nothing you would say can be compared to the amount sadness i am feeling.

Ishilove:
How long are you going to keep living in tension? How long will you keep enduring insults because of your royal fvckup? How long will you keep trying to prove to a grown ass man that you love him? (That's very immature, by the way)

You fvcked up by cheating and destroying his trust, and I don't see things getting better. You best move on and start afresh with someone else, and this time, BE FAITHFUL!

larryking540:
Exactly, ,i still don't get it
Is this lady a kid, ?a man tells u to meet with is younger brother, u should know wat dat means already na, business? Which business so I assume u are not contended with the one gbenga is into, so if the gbenga travells outside d country na men go day sleep for her hux every week cus it's already ovious

When a lady can't stay quietly on her own without needing approval from men it becomes a problem wen day are married to their man, ,,,

Wen a lady or a man cheat and the spouse finds out no matter how day forgive and forget the sore still remains there,

That's why oyibo person go just move on to have piece of mind and no doubt