jaxxy:


A child from a relationship isn’t a sperm donor and he has legal rights. He doesn’t have to marry her disrespectful ass to claim pertanity his child. She shud have impregnated herself now.

He has no fucjing right to the child. Only thing he has right over is sperm not child.

Brotherly, Calm down. You don't need to bother yourself much. since they don't need your assistance at this early stage , kindly leave them alone and focus on building yourself. a time is coming, they'll need you.

Melian:


You're a selfish person. You want the child but you don't want the momma. See your mouth like baby mama. Men like you aren't worth it. I'm glad the mother doesn't need your financial support, you'd have shown her wehn with this your selfish attitude.

Chill out. Take it easy.

This can't happen to me sha. Wahalli the sperm donor wouldn't have access to the child. I would reason this way if I was younger. But with maturity, I know that the wellbeing of the child must be considered first more than anything. Every child has a right to fatherly care and love. But the question is, is this lunatic op worthy?

Rebornhombre:
I'm going through the same, OP let her be, this a battle you can never win, just visit your daughter your daughter, it because they see you as cool headed, they never jam better craze. You must miss your daughter, i know how that feels, this is the sacrifice you have to make until she comes to age where she would understand.

Well, i really Dont get this whole thing but i think marriage is d issue here. D lady is angry because d guy refuse to marry her neither did he tell her he needed a baby mama, it not right. Probably she felt used thats y she is acting up. I was suppose to marry my baby's dad but genotype stood in and i couldn't risk it. My son is almost three and we never had any of these, although we argued about his food, i wanted exclusive breast feeding and move on to natural food but he wants those formular stuff. After much argument, we brought our parents in and they supported me. Same way we resolved other issues. Everything nor be fight

tzoracle:


Train your IQ first to comprehend before you look for who to train

You are the stupid one here with an IQ less than 0.

You are on this thread to advise the OP and not to be showing the world how mentally disturbed you are.

I don't have time to waste on kids who don't have anything meaningful to contribute, all they go about doing is quoting people and showing the world how brain dead they are.

We know your type, braindead kid.

faithfull18:
Why do you men always do this, you think the woman isn't good enough for you to marry but she is always good for you to have sex with.


Even if you start a court process, I doubt you will win the case.

From all indications, she can duly take care of the child without your input.

I don't know how to advise you because I don't even support premarital sex to start with.

I hope this is coming from a virgin, if not be quiet

faithfull18:

I don't argue with stupid teenagers who don't know their left from right.

I repeat, he most likely won't get custody.

Get that into your fogged head with no brain.

U are actually a very dull imbe.cile

The supposed teenager up there had enough sense than you can muster

ednut1:
. Na u sabi. From wetin he write na him dey at fault jor. She said food had finished and u refused to send money cos u sent 2 days ago. Nawa

Don't be surprised if the amount sent doesn't exceed 10,000.

His problem is simply that the woman isn't dependent on him. He's finding it difficult to accept that. In retaliation he became distant. They're not married but he wants to be treated as a husband. Not everyone will bow to that desire of his.

He sounds like he was not there for two years. His only contribution is a box of juice and biscuits towards his child. How much does that cost? That's his offer for fatherhood. And he's surprised her parents refused the offer? He drove his car that he fueled with who knows how much to deliver juice and biscuits. Those old people have certainly seen the cream of it all.

He should move on. He's forcing himself on her. He doesn't even think she can speak English. If she was broke he would not want them. But because she doesn't need him he wants to be involved.

eniolorunfe:
Hmmm... Calling/Turning a lady to your baby mama without her full consent...Make una dey fear God oh!!!

Young ladies, pls stay woke! It seems there are many men around nowadays that are seeking whom to turn to baby mama without consent. Don't let that be your story!!!

It's easy for men to bail and come up with different excuses because they are not the ones carrying the pregnancy.

@OP, what if the lady had aborted that pregnancy? After all, she also had plans she had to forestall for her to keep the child.

Without consent you say, because she was blind when they were having sex. When they say no sex before marriage, young folks will not listen. This advice favours the female gender, but no they won't listen.This issue is as a result of two irresponsible adults,if you want to advice do that without blaming any party.

ifyalways:
Communication break down. All this problem started because of how you told her you don't have money . Since the child stays with the mother, there are some concessions you'd have to make (even if you don't really like it) just for peace to reign. example, the incident of starting school much earlier than agreed. You could have handled it better by either sending them a token of whatever u have or gently tell her you are broke for now but will send whatever u have later as opposed to sticking your feet down and insisting on September. It's not stupidity, it's called wisdom aka stooping to conquer.

From your story, the lady and/or her family can comfortably take care of the toddler. I don't know any court that will grant you custody of the child but you'd get visitation rights for sure if that's what you're fighting for. And also the mandatory monthly child support that you'd have to pay.

Im not sure going to court now is the best idea. Can you take a back seat from visiting and communicating with the lady directly and have either or both of your parents visit hers and have a chat with her parents( not her) i believe your parents will be calm and handle hers well no matter the level of provocation,if any, by the girls Mother. Please don't send only your mom o, we women are known to be petty.

No mother will like you or support you after you knocked up her daughter and refused to marry her so don't be surprised the mom did not caution the daughter while she was exchanging words with you. If you married her properly, her reaction to that incident would have been the opposite. I'm not making excuses for her moms behaviour Please, just trying to see things from a typical Naija moms angle.

If that fails then head to court. Since they stay in Delta, I presume the issue can only be sorted at family welfare courts in Delta state. Obviously,The lady wanted marriage from you and since that is not forthcoming, she's acting out.

Head to which court? What proof does he have as the father of the child? A woman you impregnated , abounded and she went through medical difficulty because of a child you are coming to claim and yet not good for you to marry. I wish men who have married years without a child will come your way and advise you.
You may be toying with your real wife and family.
Discuss with your father if he is around or any of your trusted maternal uncles. You need elders' wisdom.

Melian:


He has no fucjing right to the child. Only thing he has right over is sperm not child.

U think Ure in a jungle system? The law has sense when humans choose to forget theirs. In the us the govt can even take ur child from u, giving birth to child doesn’t give u license to misbehave. Keep dreaming.

nijabazaar:

U are actually a very dull imbe.cile
The supposed teenager up there had enough sense than you can muster

Like begets like.
You would definitely support your kind.
You are mentally slow, deal with it.

toluleke:
He just said most of the better part . The child stArted school in April why no go and see things a woman know the child better you should have paid in April and not be adamant na money dey cos issues pass the best is settle legal actions will cause more hatred and beef.

he's very arrogant , thinking biscuit and juice can make up for changing diapers and sleepless nights , the lady must have pressurized him for them to get married when she newly got pregnant but he was probably dragging his feet and he still went ahead to let the parent paid 1m hospital bill when she gave birth in terrible condition spending months in the hospital, still refused to pay his daughter school fee over flimsy excuse, still talking about taking them to court! very arrogant.
I wish its possible to return your semen back to you.

faithfull18:
Why do you men always do this, you think the woman isn't good enough for you to marry but she is always good for you to have sex with.


Even if you start a court process, I doubt you will win the case.

From all indications, she can duly take care of the child without your input.

I don't know how to advise you because I don't even support premarital sex to start with.

Why do u lure a man to sex in expectation of a ring... Do you think sex is a ticket to marriage.

Op must have paid heavily more than #500-#3000 payable to a sex worker without feelings or any sense of responsibility attached.

Be wise lady! She or you could be good in bed or as a sex object...but that won't buy till death do us part Union.

That Union is more valuable than sex!

Kidaholic:


Wasn't his mom visiting back then when they (parent and child) would be side talking with their language and giving his mom awful body language? As a matured parent that they ought to be, couldn't they have told her what the problem is?

Honestly, its very disappointing from the lady's parent and I think that pursuing this legally is the best

don’t mind these ladies that think using pregnancy to tie a man Down is the best way to go about this marriage thingy ,I would advice the op to stay clear for the now if they can foot the bills no problem in the nearest future your daughter will locate you just make sure you make provisions Down for her she will grow with time to know these things herself a custody battle will lead him nowhere in this harsh economy they will make contact with you just be patient

Xisnin:
I thought baby mamaism is heavenly made and far better than marriage?

What you are experiencing is resentment for destroying her chances of marriage.
You should have been upfront about your baby mama intentions before impregnating her.

From your writeup, you have no money for prolonged custody battle and given
the age of your daughter and the Nigerian culture, you cannot win the case even
if you try. Even if you do manage to get visitation rights, the woman's family will make
your life a hell.

Go back and beg for forgiveness and hope they accept and give you easy
conditions. Otherwise, forget that you have a daughter until she is an adult.

No mind them "team babymama", they think it is easy. The worst woman to pull that shit with, is a woman who has her own money. She will forget your existence while you struggle with your ego

Bro.I will send u a pm.
You sure know how it rolls.

Bonjelomo:
Bro!

I'm a Senior officer at the Lagos State Child's Rights Office.

I don't understand how your state manages child's welfare issues. But over here in Lagos, the odds are in YOUR FAVOUR.

The case is called Access Denial. It is usually handled at ZERO COST. You don't even need any damn lawyer.

Walk down to the Child Rights/Welfare office. Make a case.

Dem no born dem well make them no show up with ur pikin.

You will be given ACCESS RIGHTS at your desired venue. Most likely 2 hours, 2ce every months, u go just gatz buy Jedi for the Officer wey go dey in charge. lols.

But be ready to pay the regular monthly upkeep, cos the office of child's welfare office doesn't play with that.

As a female child, when the child is 5, she will start following u home for weekends.

Baba u are the winner here.

When ur child is 7, u will apply to get her Custody. All you need to prove is Responsibility. Lobatan!

I swear, just negodu...na u get ur pikin.

Go and do the right thing MARRY her case close

Earthbound:

Chill out. Take it easy.

It's not fair. It's not just fair. I don't think you understand the emotional trauma the said lady must have been through. That said, I don't understand how educated women have premarital sex without condom. It's stupid. Silly. Some will have premarital sex and wail that the man dumped them. While the the rest of that category will get pregnant, and get dumped for getting pregnant. I'm sure if pregnancy had not set in, the stupid op would still have been fucking her. And she too go still open legs believing it'll end in praise. Women need to wise up.

faithfull18:

Like begets like.

You would definitely support your kind.

You are mentally slow, deal with it.

I still repeat you are very dull , partially disjointed imbe.cile...

How is that hard to understand??

faithfull18:

You are the stupid one here with an IQ less than 0.

You are on this thread to advise the OP and not to be showing the world how mentally disturbed you are.

I don't have time to waste on kids who don't have anything meaningful to contribute, all they go about doing is quoting people and showing the world how brain dead they are.

We know your type, braindead kid.

LOL

I am a 'kid' quite alright but no 'adult' would quote me two times just to throw tantrums, see oponu who wants to train someone on civility

Is it a must that op must marry the girl ? they fvcked, she got pregnant and gave birth but op does not like her again, shikina
All this stupid feminists

jaxxy:


U think Ure in a jungle system? The law has sense when humans choose to forget theirs. In the us the govt can even take ur child from u, giving birth to child doesn’t give u license to misbehave. Keep dreaming.

I think it's foolhardy, no offense, to use the U.S as a case study here. This is Nigeria not US

jeff1607:


if a woman really wants to get pregnant bro there's nothing you can do.


why not let them be ,get married and move on with your life.

I somewhat see this as the best advice. It will be practically hard for you to win the case
1. You didn't marry the woman so she can claim the baby is not yours; don't be surprised how far women can go when they want to spite you.
2. You admitted not paying the basic bills for the child's upkeep at pertinent times. While I don't blame you for this, knowing finances could have been an issue, their lawyer will blow the matter out of proportion by making you look irresponsible without means of taking care of your child.
3. The most important person is neither you nor your baby mama but the baby; you are a man and obviously still career oriented. You may not have the means and time to properly take care of the baby so I won't advise you to see for custody of the baby now.
Find elders within the baby mama family who your family can talk to and make amends on your seeing the child at apportioned time.

Importantly, work harder, focus on becoming bigger and more stable; I can promise you they will bring the child to you when she grows older. After all, you can't be Dangote's kid and allow your mom to dissuade you from meeting your father.
Just follow the path of peace in seeing your daughter

Tellemall:


Don't be surprised if the amount sent doesn't exceed 10,000.

His problem is simply that the woman isn't dependent on him. He's finding it difficult to accept that. In retaliation he became distant. They're not married but he wants to be treated as a husband. Not everyone will bow to that desire of his.

He sounds like he was not there for two years. His only contribution is a box of juice and biscuits towards his child. How much does that cost? That's his offer for fatherhood. And he's surprised her parents refused the offer? He drove his car that he fueled with who knows how much to deliver juice and biscuits. Those old people have certainly seen the cream of it all.

He should move on. He's forcing himself on her. He doesn't even think she can speak English. If she was broke he would not want them. But because she doesn't need him he wants to be involved.

True papi

nijabazaar:


I still repeat you are very dull , partially disjointed imbe.cile...

How is that hard to understand??

Hahahah, stupidity runs in your bloodline, I am not surprised.

Your kind lacks attention in the real world, you therefore come online to get it.

I don't converse with senseless persons like you.

This is officially the last response you will be getting from me.

You can keep talking to yourself for all I care.

I pray sense be restored to you this year.

Melian:


It's not fair. It's not just fair. I don't think you understand the emotional trauma the said lady must have been through. That said, I don't understand how educated women have premarital sex without condom. It's stupid. Silly. Some will have premarital sex and wail that the man dumped them. While the the rest of that category will get dumped after child birth. I'm sure if pregnancy had not come, the stupid op would still have been fucking her. And she too go still be open legs believing it'll end in marriage. Women need to wise up.

I think Nigerian women need to be orientated on birth control use. Like most guys, I would almost never Fûck anyone I'm dating with a condom, it's just wrong. That said, haven't you been in a relationship you just know isn't for the long term but you keep enjoying the perks of staying in the relationship? The OP is not at fault for wanting to have a relationship with his offspring. The babe sef no know say that child can reignite what was lost between them. Na impatience and pride kill both of them. Luckily for the kid, it seems both of them are financially stable.

My brother just go to welfare Dept of federal ministry of women affairs..as long as you are comfortable... you will have your child back with immediate effect..try it

You got her pregnant.
N1,000,000.00 was spent at child birth by her family and not you
You did not show any commitment towards marriage
You were still proving you were the man when the only thing you did was to impregnate someone's daughter out of wedlock
You continued analyzing her character short-comings thinking you are perfect.
MY FRIEND: Unknown to you, you were given a time limit to act as a responsible man but you failed and you want them to be nice to you continually.
My friend sit up and be a man. When you slept with her and got her pregnant, why didn't you think of the legal implications. And now the devil has planted a word in your heart by calling her "baby mama". You want the parents to still listen to you.
Who gives birth to a girl and expect her to be made a "baby mama" instead of proper marriage
I know that in Anambra the family of the girl will claim the baby under similar circumstances.
You want to go to court over a baby that almost kill the mother at childbirth abi.
Be careful o. And be wise and make peace, let pride not go first.

ogawisdom:


U r obviously a kid n far from an elder

A man who didn’t pay bride price can’t be the father of a kid... did you think before creating that post?

You are obviously a village stricken illiterate .