₦airaland Forum

Martinez39:
SMH. So this is what you will do if you were in his shoes? And you think this will change things? The best thing to do is dissolve the marriage.

If you really think that's the easy way out, please do.

Capensis:
Will you pay attention and stop this victim mentality. It is either you will take advise, since you brought this matter to the court of public opinion, or you will narrate your experience, believe your wife is the worst woman and conclude that you are leaving a marriage. You are sounding emotional and your feedback system has totally clouded your judgment.

Pay attention:
Being a husband is a full-time job. Just like any job, it comes with serious responsibilities and repercussions if you fail to understand how the game is played.

1. It is your responsibility to get the money, pay the rent, pay kids school fees. You are the chief medical officer of your home, so everyone's health including your wife's and kids', are under your care.

2. You are the chief security officer of your home, you must check that all doors are locked at night and ensure the safety of everyone in the family.

3. You are the chief romance officer, you must master how to play women with sweet words, give her massage every evening, and make sweet love to her during the massage sessions, and I mean this. Get a massage table, it goes for about 180K to 300K for a good one. If you cant afford that, then buy massage mat. Prepare the oil and get some candles.

4. You must join her in the kitchen, even if there is a maid to do the chores and help her out, you must learn this. Wash those plates sometimes.

5. You must lie down with that woman on bed after sex, hold her face, and tell her truths and lies of how you love her. Then if you have nothing more to day, do some gossiping with her. Stroke her nicely and tell her how hard you are working to ensure your family is financial stable for the next 100 years.

6. You must stop thinking like your ancestors. Define your own path and ignore customary and traditional ways of running your home. Times have changed. Why wont you fetch water and wash your own hand. Seems she is the one doing all the kitchen work and you are the African man waiting to be served. It is not mandatory, besides do you know if her mother used to serve her father that way? It might be she got a different kind of training.

7. Do not ever think you have done enough, cos you havent done jack. If you feel that your wife is cheating, then rent a place somewhere else and move towards a different location. It does not matter if you own the house you are living now. Go and rent someplace nice for a year and move there and change your children's school so as to forget the shame and embarrassment your quarrel may have caused. If it is your house, you can return back after a year.

8. Always remember that most women are like babies. You must master how to lie to them if you know that truth will hurt. Learn all those skills from yahoo boys how they control white women and use it for your marriage. If you do it right, your wife might be giving your pocket money sometimes and you all will fall in love again.

You think your wife is bad? You have no idea. No one will tell you what is going on in their homes.

Master how to manipulate women, and you will control them like a intimacy gadget.

Wow. The sole responsibility of the man is to provide money and protect and he is to do that alone. Hmmmmm. The sole responsibility of the woman nko? If he is to wash the plate from time to time, will she also pay the bills from time to time without complaining. Does his misfortune warrant the insult and embarrassment he faces at home? Hmmmmm, so he should leave his own house because of what? Let me ignore other irrational things you've typed and stop here. SMH.

This white knighting is on a whole different level.

Oyindidi:
Let your mum spend some quality time with her.

Ishilove:

Yes na, she forced him to marry her

Oyindidi:
Yes na, she forced him to marry her

Our parents are wise, but they are also human.

Ishilove:
Our parents are wise, but they are also human.

More reason we should be allowed to take the decision of whom to marry

never marry a woman you can't control
never marry a man who never listens or understand you

Martinez39:
Wow. The sole responsibility of the man is to provide money and protect and he is to do that alone. Hmmmmm. The sole responsibility of the woman nko? If he is to wash the plate from time to time, will she also pay the bills from time to time without complaining. Does his misfortune warrant the insult and embarrassment he faces at home?

This white knighting is on a whole different level.

.
seriously I couldn't wrap my head on what she was trying to project a husband's role is.

more like a slave in medieval times.

Martinez39:
Wow. The sole responsibility of the man is to provide money and protect and he is to do that alone. Hmmmmm. The sole responsibility of the woman nko? If he is to wash the plate from time to time, will she also pay the bills from time to time without complaining. Does his misfortune warrant the insult and embarrassment he faces at home?

This white knighting is on a whole different level.

I know a red pilled man when I see him. �

Lush100:
.
seriously I couldn't wrap my head on what she was trying to project a husband's role is.

more like a slave in medieval times.

Feminists are big time hypocrites who always want to eat their cake and have it. They are the embodiment of cognitive dissonance. They think men and women should have equal responsibilities yet they demand that the man covers the bills alone. They think men should assist in washing the plate at all times yet refuse in assisting with bills at all times. It's clear by now that feminists are seeking favouritism and superiority of female gender.

They want to eat their cake and have it. They never take responsibilities for their actions and it's men's fault when they fail at something.

there's something about slap that resets memories though

give women small power, they become power drunk

your only way out of this is getting a job,even after that you won't still get the respect though

a Bleep.ed woman never change,it's a dna thing....look how chattered your esteem and confidence is because you thought she would change after marriage

Capensis:
Will you pay attention and stop this victim mentality. It is either you will take advise, since you brought this matter to the court of public opinion, or you will narrate your experience, believe your wife is the worst woman and conclude that you are leaving a marriage. You are sounding emotional and your feedback system has totally clouded your judgment.

Pay attention:
Being a husband is a full-time job. Just like any job, it comes with serious responsibilities and repercussions if you fail to understand how the game is played.

1. It is your responsibility to get the money, pay the rent, pay kids school fees. You are the chief medical officer of your home, so everyone's health including your wife's and kids', are under your care.

2. You are the chief security officer of your home, you must check that all doors are locked at night and ensure the safety of everyone in the family.

3. You are the chief romance officer, you must master how to play women with sweet words, give her massage every evening, and make sweet love to her during the massage sessions, and I mean this. Get a massage table, it goes for about 180K to 300K for a good one. If you cant afford that, then buy massage mat. Prepare the oil and get some candles.

4. You must join her in the kitchen, even if there is a maid to do the chores and help her out, you must learn this. Wash those plates sometimes.

5. You must lie down with that woman on bed after sex, hold her face, and tell her truths and lies of how you love her. Then if you have nothing more to day, do some gossiping with her. Stroke her nicely and tell her how hard you are working to ensure your family is financial stable for the next 100 years.

6. You must stop thinking like your ancestors. Define your own path and ignore customary and traditional ways of running your home. Times have changed. Why wont you fetch water and wash your own hand. Seems she is the one doing all the kitchen work and you are the African man waiting to be served. It is not mandatory, besides do you know if her mother used to serve her father that way? It might be she got a different kind of training.

7. Do not ever think you have done enough, cos you havent done jack. If you feel that your wife is cheating, then rent a place somewhere else and move towards a different location. It does not matter if you own the house you are living now. Go and rent someplace nice for a year and move there and change your children's school so as to forget the shame and embarrassment your quarrel may have caused. If it is your house, you can return back after a year.

8. Always remember that most women are like babies. You must master how to lie to them if you know that truth will hurt. Learn all those skills from yahoo boys how they control white women and use it for your marriage. If you do it right, your wife might be giving your pocket money sometimes and you all will fall in love again.

You think your wife is bad? You have no idea. No one will tell you what is going on in their homes.

Master how to manipulate women, and you will control them like a intimacy gadget.

what the fuc.k

Op I didn't go through your post but honestly the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone on earth is ending up in marriage with with the wrong partner. Forget any bullshyt anyone try to tell you here, if you believe you can salvage the situation then by all means stick with her, but if you don't have the strength, then bros please I beg you leave that marriage 'cause it will damage you and I mean everything about your existence.

OmoAlata1:
You sound like those husbands that will emotionally drained their wives. I know your type very well. You can fool others with your poor me victim card post but not me.

Didn't expect less from an Omoalata.

OmoAlata1:
You sound like those husbands that will emotionally drained their wives. I know your type very well. You can fool others with your poor me victim card post but not me.

I see finspirit here.

Capensis:
Will you pay attention and stop this victim mentality. It is either you will take advise, since you brought this matter to the court of public opinion, or you will narrate your experience, believe your wife is the worst woman and conclude that you are leaving a marriage. You are sounding emotional and your feedback system has totally clouded your judgment.

Pay attention:
Being a husband is a full-time job. Just like any job, it comes with serious responsibilities and repercussions if you fail to understand how the game is played.

1. It is your responsibility to get the money, pay the rent, pay kids school fees. You are the chief medical officer of your home, so everyone's health including your wife's and kids', are under your care.

2. You are the chief security officer of your home, you must check that all doors are locked at night and ensure the safety of everyone in the family.

3. You are the chief romance officer, you must master how to play women with sweet words, give her massage every evening, and make sweet love to her during the massage sessions, and I mean this. Get a massage table, it goes for about 180K to 300K for a good one. If you cant afford that, then buy massage mat. Prepare the oil and get some candles.

4. You must join her in the kitchen, even if there is a maid to do the chores and help her out, you must learn this. Wash those plates sometimes.

5. You must lie down with that woman on bed after sex, hold her face, and tell her truths and lies of how you love her. Then if you have nothing more to day, do some gossiping with her. Stroke her nicely and tell her how hard you are working to ensure your family is financial stable for the next 100 years.

6. You must stop thinking like your ancestors. Define your own path and ignore customary and traditional ways of running your home. Times have changed. Why wont you fetch water and wash your own hand. Seems she is the one doing all the kitchen work and you are the African man waiting to be served. It is not mandatory, besides do you know if her mother used to serve her father that way? It might be she got a different kind of training.

7. Do not ever think you have done enough, cos you havent done jack. If you feel that your wife is cheating, then rent a place somewhere else and move towards a different location. It does not matter if you own the house you are living now. Go and rent someplace nice for a year and move there and change your children's school so as to forget the shame and embarrassment your quarrel may have caused. If it is your house, you can return back after a year.

8. Always remember that most women are like babies. You must master how to lie to them if you know that truth will hurt. Learn all those skills from yahoo boys how they control white women and use it for your marriage. If you do it right, your wife might be giving your pocket money sometimes and you all will fall in love again.

You think your wife is bad? You have no idea. No one will tell you what is going on in their homes.

Master how to manipulate women, and you will control them like a intimacy gadget.

Bros ayam not understanding you oh , do you want to finally turn him into a modern slave to the wife. I don't see anything wrong if the wife supports the home afterall he has been the one shouldering the whole responsibilities when he was working. Giving the school his number to call and embarrass him is totally uncalled for and humiliating.
Op, you saw all the red flags yet you choose to ignore them, na you shoot yourself for leg na
Deed has been done, kindly leave home for a while (get an apartment and enjoy peace of mind, still do the best you can for your family) Or better still file for annulment.
PS: if you can't stand/take the heat.. Get out of the kitchen!
Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness or peace of mind..

The lady is even feeding your jobless ass and u are here ranting like a mad dog.

A jobless man will be disrespected by even an angelic wife.

You failed in your responsibility of providing for your family, A man must always be able to pay
1. Rent
2. School fees
3. Feed the family

Michelle55:
Bros ayam not understanding you oh , do you want to finally turn him into a modern slave to the wife. I don't see anything wrong if the wife supports the home afterall he has been the one shouldering the whole responsibilities when he was working. Giving the school his number to call and embarrass him is totally uncalled for and humiliating.
Op, you saw all the red flags yet you choose to ignore them, na you shoot yourself for leg na
Deed has been done, kindly leave home for a while (get an apartment and enjoy peace of mind, still do the best you can for your family) Or better still file for annulment.
PS: if you can't stand/take the heat.. Get out of the kitchen!
Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness or peace of mind..

Are you married?

Capensis:
Will you pay attention and stop this victim mentality. It is either you will take advise, since you brought this matter to the court of public opinion, or you will narrate your experience, believe your wife is the worst woman and conclude that you are leaving a marriage. You are sounding emotional and your feedback system has totally clouded your judgment.

Pay attention:
Being a husband is a full-time job. Just like any job, it comes with serious responsibilities and repercussions if you fail to understand how the game is played.

1. It is your responsibility to get the money, pay the rent, pay kids school fees. You are the chief medical officer of your home, so everyone's health including your wife's and kids', are under your care.

2. You are the chief security officer of your home, you must check that all doors are locked at night and ensure the safety of everyone in the family.

3. You are the chief romance officer, you must master how to play women with sweet words, give her massage every evening, and make sweet love to her during the massage sessions, and I mean this. Get a massage table, it goes for about 180K to 300K for a good one. If you cant afford that, then buy massage mat. Prepare the oil and get some candles.

4. You must join her in the kitchen, even if there is a maid to do the chores and help her out, you must learn this. Wash those plates sometimes.

5. You must lie down with that woman on bed after sex, hold her face, and tell her truths and lies of how you love her. Then if you have nothing more to day, do some gossiping with her. Stroke her nicely and tell her how hard you are working to ensure your family is financial stable for the next 100 years.

6. You must stop thinking like your ancestors. Define your own path and ignore customary and traditional ways of running your home. Times have changed. Why wont you fetch water and wash your own hand. Seems she is the one doing all the kitchen work and you are the African man waiting to be served. It is not mandatory, besides do you know if her mother used to serve her father that way? It might be she got a different kind of training.

7. Do not ever think you have done enough, cos you havent done jack. If you feel that your wife is cheating, then rent a place somewhere else and move towards a different location. It does not matter if you own the house you are living now. Go and rent someplace nice for a year and move there and change your children's school so as to forget the shame and embarrassment your quarrel may have caused. If it is your house, you can return back after a year.

8. Always remember that most women are like babies. You must master how to lie to them if you know that truth will hurt. Learn all those skills from yahoo boys how they control white women and use it for your marriage. If you do it right, your wife might be giving your pocket money sometimes and you all will fall in love again.

You think your wife is bad? You have no idea. No one will tell you what is going on in their homes.

Master how to manipulate women, and you will control them like a intimacy gadget.

Dear Capensis,

First, i must thank you for taking time out to write out such bold thoughts of yours on a forum like Nairaland. It is impressive to read people who are knowledgeable and can put it out in nice language writing freely and for no financial returns. It isn't very common in Nigeria, as against what readily obtains in Reddit and Quora which are quite Western.

That said, I wouldn't join the bandwagon of those castigating you. Indeed, my opening message of thanks is as sincere as it comes. I must tell you that I have saved your post as "Tips to surviving a bad marriage" on my computer hard drive. OP has made the cardinal mistake by marrying a bad girlfriend. OP possibly can not/does not/is advised against divorce as an option. SO what you have written for him are the effective radical changes and roleplay that he could consider in order to survive and live in an otherwise distressing situation he has found himself - and I fully agree with you if this is his situation.

The first rule before going into marriage is DO NOT MARRY A WOMAN FOR ANY REASON IF YOU ARE NOT ABSOLUTELY AND OVERWHELMINGLY SURE you can live with her strengths and weaknesses, attitudes and proclivities for the rest of your life. Never marry a woman because your family or a Pastor said/advised (these 'Men of God' are often times modern day dibias/babalawos) or you feel indebted or obliged or feel the society expects you to. When the shit hits the fan, you would be all on your freaking own!

But the OP has gone past that stage already now, and the preceding paragraph is for singles. For a man with three kids, he now must take a very different and careful course, and that is why your advice may be the best thing from the textbook of survival in a bad marriage. It involves a lot of role-playing, bending over backwards and ego-ripping, but it is possibly important to take one (or many) for the family, at least for the children. OP must now take the role of the wife and let the domineering woman take the role she wants/seems to prefer. It is a lot worse that he has lost his job currently.

Even the best of wives might occasionally misbehave when dealing with a man who doesn't bring anything significant to the family's table. Women are weaker vessels that often do not cope well in the shoes of men.

That's why the single men out there today must be very careful. If you want a good wife, you must prepare yourself too as a good bachelor. There are no good wives in those women you go to clubs and drinks, smoke and dance seductively with. You cannot catch a dolphin in a river, no. They are in the seas. It is the same way you cannot expect to meet the best of women at beer-parlours or clubs. What you attract is what you get.

I have not written about Churches or Mosques in choosing a life-partner. All good and bad people go to Church on Sundays, maybe mosques on Fridays too. Attending Church on Sunday for most people is a part of their weekend ''owambes'' that begins with attending a Christian wakekeeping on Thursday, a burial ceremony owambe on Friday afternoon and the club at night, A wedding "owambe" on Saturday afternoon and Church "owanbe" on Sunday mornings before resuming work again on Monday morning. In today's world, values or virtue are hardly/rarely seen or perceived in the larger percentage of the church-thronging people around us - and they are in their millions!

Women today are ''slaying'' proudly, whatever that means. Men are marrying semi-professional harlots[b][/b] from apps like Instagram et al. Men should ask themselves within the first month of meeting a lady if she ticks their boxes for a wife and mother of kids. Once that fails, then the marriage is condemned to be problematic - and these roleplaying changes may be necessary for survival in such situation as that which the OP has found himself until he gets a job and can command finances again.

As always, women and money are usually friends. You'll rarely hear of the wives of rich African men threatening to divorce their husbands anyway.

Regards.

Martinez39:
Wow. The sole responsibility of the man is to provide money and protect and he is to do that alone. Hmmmmm. The sole responsibility of the woman nko? If he is to wash the plate from time to time, will she also pay the bills from time to time without complaining. Does his misfortune warrant the insult and embarrassment he faces at home? Hmmmmm, so he should leave his own house because of what? Let me ignore other irrational things you've typed and stop here. SMH.

This white knighting is on a whole different level.

Are you married?

Capensis:
Are you married?

Commot here jare. You could have said that you were drunk while typing and I would have understood but you want to proceed further with a defense to the ridiculous garbage you wrote. Good day.

Capensis:
Are you married?

What does being married got to do with the topic?

ogawisdom:
The lady is even feeding your jobless ass and u are here ranting like a mad dog.

A jobless man will be disrespected by even an angelic wife.

You failed in your responsibility of providing for your family, A man must always be able to pay
1. Rent
2. School fees
3. Feed the family

The world is something else. Paying the bills doesn't warrant insults. It is not written anywhere that it is the man that must provide any one can provide as long as they are both happy with the decision. I know women who have paid the bills. My father was once broke and jobless and my mother, being a nurse with a good salary, paid the bills and started frying akara and selling iceblock to assist with the bills. She still gave my father his respect and encouragement. Luckily my father got back on his feet big time. My dad really appreciated my mum for this that immediately he got back in his feet, he started assisting my mum in many things. Unfortunately when he told my mum not worry about something she wanted to go to the market to buy that he will go by himself and help her out, he died in a car accident later. If my mum can do this, what excuse does any lady have? Can you and Capensis tell me? Besides my mum was still beautiful and I was just 8 years of age. She could have insulted and left my dad for other rich men.

Martinez39:
Commot here jare. You could have said that you were drunk while typing and I would have understood but you want to proceed further with a defense to the ridiculous garbage you wrote. Good day.

but if it was written for the wife
you will gladly applaud it

wehdone sir!!!!

Martinez39:
The world is something else. Paying the bills doesn't warrant insults. It is not written anywhere that it is the man that must provide any one can provide as long as they are both happy with the decision. I know women who have paid the bills. My father was once broke and jobless and my mother, being a nurse with a good salary, paid the bills and started frying akara and selling iceblock to assist with the bills. She still gave my father his respect and encouragement. Luckily my father got back on his feet big time. My dad really appreciated my mum for this that immediately he got back in his feet, he started assisting my mum in many things. Unfortunately when he told my mum not worry about something she wanted to go to the market to buy that he will go by himself and help her out, he died in a car accident later. If my mum can do this, what excuse does any lady have? Can you and Capensis tell me? Besides my mum was still beautiful and I was just 8 years of age. She could have insulted and left my dad for other rich men.

good point
your father treated her well
appreciated all her efforts, supported and loved her in all of it

DrTee1:
Dear Capensis,

First, i must thank you for taking time out to write out such bold thoughts of yours on a forum like Nairaland. It is impressive to read people who are knowledgeable and can put it out in nice language writing freely and for no financial returns. It isn't very common in Nigeria, as against what readily obtains in Reddit and Quora which are quite Western.

That said, I wouldn't join the bandwagon of those castigating you. Indeed, my opening message of thanks is as sincere as it comes. I must tell you that I have saved your post as "Tips to surviving a bad marriage" on my computer hard drive. OP has made the cardinal mistake by marrying a bad girlfriend. OP possibly can not/does not/is advised against divorce as an option. SO what you have written for him is the effective radical changes and roleplay that he could consider in order to survive and live in an otherwise distressing situation he has found himself - and I fully agree with you if this is his situation.

The first rule before going into marriage is DO NOT MARRY A WOMAN FOR ANY REASON IF YOU ARE NOT ABSOLUTELY AND OVERWHELMINGLY SURE you can live with her strengths and weaknesses, attitudes and proclivities for the rest of your life. Never marry a woman because a Pastor said/advised (these 'Men of God' are often times modern day dibias/babalawos) or you feel indebted or obliged or feel the society expects you to. When the shit hits the fan, you would be all on your freaking own!

But the OP has gone past that stage already now, and the preceding paragraph is for singles. For a man with three kids, he now must take a very different and careful course, and that is why your advice may be the best thing from the textbook of survival in a bad marriage. It involves a lot of role-playing, bending over backwards and ego-ripping, but it is possibly important to take one (or many) for the family, at least for the children. OP must now take the role of the wife and let the domineering woman take the role she wants/seems to prefer. It is a lot worse that he has lost his job currently.

Even the best of wives might occasionally misbehave when dealing with a man who doesn't bring anything significant to the family's table. Women are weaker vessels that often do not cope well in the shoes of men.

That's why the single men ojut there today must be very careful. If you want a good wife, you must prepare yourself too as a good bachelor. There are no good wives in those women you go to clubs and drinks, smoke and dance seductively with. You cannot catch a dolphin in a river, no. They are in the seas. It is the same way you cannot expect to meet the best of women at beer-parlours or clubs. What you attract is what you get.

Women today are 'slaying'. Men are marrying semi-professional harlots from apps like Instagram et al. Men should ask themselves within the first month of meeting a lady if she ticks their boxes for a wife and mother of kids. Once that fails, then the marriage is conemned to be problematic - and these roleplaying changes may be necessary for survival in such situationsnas that which the OP has found himself until he gets a job and can command finances again.

As always, women and money are usually friends. You'll rarely hear of the wives of rich African men threatening to divorce their husbands anyway.

Regards.

Thank you DrTee1,

Marriage is a real job. I mean it as it sounds. A real career, the longest carrier we might ever have. Even after retirement, we are in this marriage career if we ever want to be happy.

Just as in any career, it requires specialized skill-sets designed for professionalism and mastering.

We must identify the fault systems because there is always a fault system in any system processes. We must accept that things will naturally go bad, and MUST go bad except we identify the fault systems and engineer processes to fix them and do actually troubleshoot for prospective fault systems and ensure we protect the system with serious firewalls and ensure that it dont go bad.

Marriages are going bad, because partners have introduce ego into the equation. Husband is a husbandry job. We must understand that we are shepherds, and must follow even the last calf into the ditch and bring it out. That is how to be the best master - a wise Master.

How we do one thing, is how we do everything. Because the Universe is an interconnected computing system. If this man was a good husband at home, there is no way he would have lost his job. It is the same strategy that he applied at home that he applied at work. And it is called being a snowflake.

HUmans of Nigeria should erase the erroneous impression that they deserve something. The fact that you married the woman does not mean you deserve the pusssy. That is what our tradition informed us, but it was never true, it is just that they had control over women and were enslaving our grandmothers. I personally hate slavery, so even my house-helps are treated with utmost respect. So, I ensure that my home systems are managed.

Money itself is the root of happiness, but it does buy somethings that you make you happy, yet there is a way to make a woman very happy even without money, and that has a lot to do with mind control using legitimate tools.

Learn to dominate your women with excellent strategic romances, sex, chores, lies, truth, science and even fiction.

Ensure that you win. If not, men like me will take your wives and there is nothing you can fucccking do. Trust me, when I say that.

@quote author=Martinez39 post=76140678] The world is something else. Paying the bills doesn't warrant insults. It is not written anywhere that it is the man that must provide any one can provide as long as they are both happy with the decision. I know women who have paid the bills. My father was once broke and jobless and my mother, being a nurse with a good salary, paid the bills and started frying akara and selling iceblock to assist with the bills. She still gave my father his respect and encouragement. Luckily my father got back on his feet big time. My dad really appreciated my mum for this that immediately he got back in his feet, he started assisting my mum in many things. Unfortunately when he told my mum not worry about something she wanted to go to the market to buy that he will go by himself and help her out, he died in a car accident later. If my mum can do this, what excuse does any lady have? Can you and Capensis tell me? Besides my mum was still beautiful and I was just 8 years of age. She could have insulted and left my dad for other rich men.[/quote]@ Martinez39

The Bible which is the word of God shared the roles, husband ,= provider
Wife ,= helper

Note the word help is discretionary ie if she wants to. Your mum was an exception and not the norm.

Pls don't go into marriage expecting your wife to be like your mum bc it may never happen, if it happens then count yourself lucky.

I hope your mum didn't pay rent for your dad while feeding him too

Martinez39:
The world is something else. Paying the bills doesn't warrant insults. It is not written anywhere that it is the man that must provide any one can provide as long as they are both happy with the decision. I know women who have paid the bills. My father was once broke and jobless and my mother, being a nurse with a good salary, paid the bills and started frying akara and selling iceblock to assist with the bills. She still gave my father his respect and encouragement. Luckily my father got back on his feet big time. My dad really appreciated my mum for this that immediately he got back in his feet, he started assisting my mum in many things. Unfortunately when he told my mum not worry about something she wanted to go to the market to buy that he will go by himself and help her out, he died in a car accident later. If my mum can do this, what excuse does any lady have? Can you and Capensis tell me? Besides my mum was still beautiful and I was just 8 years of age. She could have insulted and left my dad for other rich men.

Your Dad was successful in marriage because;

He took full responsibility of being a man, and provided everything his home needed and never ever expected your mum to fill in except when he was broke. That reflects on how much he appreciated the wife when she helped out when he was broke. If your Dad was a weak man, who always complain that his wife should assist him, when he was doing well, your mum would not have stepped in the way she did.

The problem with many men here is that they expect a woman to contribute to the home compulsorily as a partner. Marriage is not a partnership. It is okay to stay single and have baby mamas, but if you actually want to get married, you must understand that you went and buy this woman. Yes, bride price is cost price, you change her name to yours, and that again is the change of title, when you buy land or car, you change the name to yours, that is how you complete the purchase.

Then it is your responsibility to oil the car, fuel it, repair, SO YOU CAN ENJOY DRIVING. Same thing with marriage. I do not like coating words when I am operating on a higher level of understanding.

Trick is: Do not expect the woman to know anything, do anything. Just like the car, prepare to do everything to have a clean ride for a clean drive and if your wife happens to contribute, please act surprise and be surprised. This does not stop you from giving her massages and treating her like a queen.

Like I always conclude, I will always take your girls from you with these strategies, cos I am not just wealthy due to my disciplined strategies, I am also great in engineering women to angels. I know the laws of this universe and how to play it. Expect nothing, work for everything and go all out to win at anything AGAINST ALL ODDS.

Do not ever give up, if the prize is great. But ensure there is a prize.

ogawisdom:
@quote author=Martinez39 post=76140678] The world is something else. Paying the bills doesn't warrant insults. It is not written anywhere that it is the man that must provide any one can provide as long as they are both happy with the decision. I know women who have paid the bills. My father was once broke and jobless and my mother, being a nurse with a good salary, paid the bills and started frying akara and selling iceblock to assist with the bills. She still gave my father his respect and encouragement. Luckily my father got back on his feet big time. My dad really appreciated my mum for this that immediately he got back in his feet, he started assisting my mum in many things. Unfortunately when he told my mum not worry about something she wanted to go to the market to buy that he will go by himself and help her out, he died in a car accident later. If my mum can do this, what excuse does any lady have? Can you and Capensis tell me? Besides my mum was still beautiful and I was just 8 years of age. She could have insulted and left my dad for other rich men.


@ Martinez39

The Bible which is the word of God shared the roles, husband ,= provider
Wife ,= helper

Note the word help is discretionary ie if she wants to. Your mum was an exception and not the norm.

Pls don't go into marriage expecting your wife to be like your mum bc it may never happen, if it happens then count yourself lucky.

I hope your mum didn't pay rent for your dad while feeding him too

Not everyone believes in your book of fairy tales called bible and your god doesn't exist. My mum paid the rent and fed the family. There is no discretion, you are to assist your family in your capacity as you can be it man or woman. It is not written anywhere that the man must do everything. Marriage involves two people working together for their own good in love.

I am not stupid to expect that women would be like my mother. What my mother showed is that there is no excuse to insult and embarrass your man because he is broke. To insult and embarrass your man because he is broke and struggling is a choice and it takes a bad and disgusting soul to make that choice.

Dyt:
but if it was written for the wife
you will gladly applaud it

wehdone sir!!!!

The misogyny all over this thread sha

I have my own imperfections too as a man,but it really baffles me when a woman you paid her bride price

"Always remember that most women are like babies. You must master how to lie to them if you know that truth will hurt."

"Master how to manipulate women, and you will control them like a intimacy gadget."

"you must understand that you went and buy this woman. Yes, bride price is cost price, you change her name to yours, and that again is the change of title, when you buy land or car, you change the name to yours, that is how you complete the purchase."

"Do not expect the woman to know anything, do anything"

"Women today are ''slaying'' proudly, whatever that means. Men are marrying semi-professional harlots from apps like Instagram et al"

Capensis:
Your Dad was successful in marriage because;

He took full responsibility of being a man, and provided everything his home needed and never ever expected your mum to fill in except when he was broke. That reflects on how much he appreciated the wife when she helped out when he was broke. If your Dad was a weak man, who always complain that his wife should assist him, when he was doing well, your mum would not have stepped in the way she did.

The problem with many men here is that they expect a woman to contribute to the home compulsorily as a partner. Marriage is not a partnership. It is okay to stay single and have baby mamas, but if you actually want to get married, you must understand that you went and buy this woman. Yes, bride price is cost price, you change her name to yours, and that again is the change of title, when you buy land or car, you change the name to yours, that is how you complete the purchase.

Then it is your responsibility to oil the car, fuel it, repair, SO YOU CAN ENJOY DRIVING. Same thing with marriage. I do not like coating words when I am operating on a higher level of understanding.

Trick is: Do not expect the woman to know anything, do anything. Just like the car, prepare to do everything to have a clean ride for a clean drive and if your wife happens to contribute, please act surprise and be surprised. This does not stop you from giving her massages and treating her like a queen.

Like I always conclude, I will always take your girls from you with these strategies, cos I am not just wealthy due to my disciplined strategies, I am also great in engineering women to angels. I know the laws of this universe and how to play it. Expect nothing, work for everything and go all out to win at anything AGAINST ALL ODDS.

Do not ever give up, if the prize is great. But ensure there is a prize.

My dad was indeed a real man. He never expected my mum to do anything but my mum was always in charge of the kitchen and the laundry of me and my siblings. My dad preferred to wash his clothes or gave it to my mum if she insisted on washing it. To insult and embarrass your spouse because of a shortcoming is a choice and it takes a bad and disgusting soul to make that choice. Why are you not calling the woman out on her behaviour? Now, where did the OP say he expected his wife to take on the full responsibility? Can't you read? The foolish op only complained about the bad attitude of his wife.

Besides, you don't know as you think you do. You just have this grandiose delusion that you know how the universe works. Be humble, learn and think more so you be typing the nonsenses you are typing. You don't even know the purpose of bride price, see the nonsense you are typing. Captain White Knight in a shiny armour .