₦airaland Forum

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

beatcoins:
When you marry, then we can argue your previous comment.

PrecisionFx:
Bros abeg don't ever check ur wife's phone, talk more of cloning it. U are looking for everlasting problem.

ruddyman500:
If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN. .....That was exactly what i told her that i dont want old affections and emotions to be awaken but she is just so adamant and irritably sturbborn

siralos135:
Please bro, Prayerfully consider your reactions to her deeds.Don't take every trash you hear here o.A whole lot of people who are still living with their parents offering advises.

I will strongly advise you consider her elder brother who is a pastor who can talk some sense to her

rawfact:
You're so wise bro!

AlanSugar:
Re good boy for that area, you sure? I mean with this damning statement of yours that all bang must be banged, you're a suspect there oo bro. Anyhow, you did good in stating the obvious. Guy op is a learner. My wife tried that shit in 2016, today she's in her mother's house still looking for a husband. I had since moved on.

drmikeadams:
thank u ...any time I hear from these babes "" I dated 5 guys before u,they RE my ex""all I understand is "" I opened my legs for 5 guys before u"

ruddyman500:
thanks so much bro i really appreciate your sincere opinions its as if u read my mind ..that is exactly what i planned to do and i have even started already this morning ...its not as if am a soft guy but she was the one that complained back in 2017 that i was too harsh that i should stop treating her as if she is my enemy...based on that i really worked on myself to change and i showed her love and gave her the best of all i could afford . She greeted me this morning and i answered and she went tp prepare food but i did not eat ..just told her am off to the office .I think i have ro revert back to my old self if that is what will work.....My peace of mind is paramount in all these bro....I have also called that her pastor brother this morning and he was just full of surprises, he said i have kept quite for too long that he cant take such arrant nonsense even as a pastor...He said he will get back to me as soon as he leaves office today

Slimzzy00:
please how do I clone phones

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

How do we clone her phone. what steps is one to take.
Esp. her whatsapp?

15ssDRIVE:
Baba,Woman Na the only sword with multiple edges. As in Na Baba God Dey give person wife,no
Matter of I sabi choose.

At this stage,the 2 options is peace,peace,peace.

Just Dey watch like Mumu,senior people says. Suru lafi se Oko obirin.

She go begin fear,when she realize that no more,questioning or counter arguments.

When she says,I am going to Ibadan. Tell am safe trip,may God go with you.

If she want go kafancha.... Salam alaikum.

She want go New York,tell am make she greet Donald trump for you.

Try to engage yourself in some hobbies,that needs time and attention.

For me as Igbo smoker...... I just Dey watch you like Dele Giwa.Till the day way,Gods kingdom go come in our life.

Bakersfield:
My brother I have been in this business called marriage for the last 27 years now. I'm lucky I married my best friend and soul mate. She is from the south east and I'm from the south west of Nigeria. I know some of the hidden secrets of successful, unsecured and unsuccessful marriages.

No long story. Let me tell you the NAKED TRUTH.
YOUR WIFE IS A NYMPHO AND SHE IS BLEEPING HEAVILY WITH HER EX's. Maybe your CUCUMBER is not doing the job as expected and she resolved to help herself outside. Please try to do reappraisal of your sexual performance. Maybe you are lacking in some areas of her needs and the EX's are filling the gap for you.

You need to sit down and sort out issues holistically. No holds bar discussion.

From your submission, she has all the traits of INFIDELITY. Adjust and follow the trails. Good luck.

musa1987:
My brother, i have similar experience when i got married. a week after our wedding my wife woke up to informed that she want to go to the town to collect phone from her ex who came back from abroad. i just declare that she can go and should not come back home. she brag from that morning till in the night but i refuse to alter a word. i told her to choose her marriage or her ex. some times u need to be rigid to get it right.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

stupidity:
jesuu!!! Sir you mean you sent her packing??


I won’t lie, I’m not sure of getting married I swear, i don’t want to go Mad because of a woman.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

MrDoGood:
I was in a similar situation. She feels she's still hot and sexy.. lol women with their ways of thinking.
Get another phone with a new number and register with another name cos she's going to check the number with true caller.
Register whatsapp with the new line and use the phone to chat yourself. Claiming to be one of your ex wanting you guys to see that she just wants to apologize and all that. If possible, make up for all the wrongs she's done to you. Just make it a very sensitive chat that would make her jealous and want to bring down the roof when she sees it. If possible, put one of your cousin's female photos that she doesn't know and make sure she's extremely beautiful but u need to play calm in the chat as a man who respects the wife and you don't want anything to do with exes. Your wife won't be happy with it and bla bla.
To round it up, tell her you will appreciate it if she stops chatting with you. (Remember this is yourself chatting with you) then let your wife see the chats. She will definitely bring up issues abut u seeing her. Then you have the upper hand to open her eyes and brain to see what you are talking about. Believe me bro, she will stop all those nonsense of felling funky and hot that exes kept calling her. na she dey give the room for the conversation. (That's if she is willing to change) without that, there's little or nothing u can do.

I do not want to use a disgusting word, but she should be ashamed to talk about her ex. let alone giving u the impression that they're many. She should count herself very lucky to have a man like you.

agylistic77:
My advice will be simple and short..since she still want things with her exes shows how irresponsible she is. She is very lucky she married a good Man that know about her exes, not even one. Sit her down and tell her how uncomfortable u are communicating with her exes
If she doesn't stop then u send her to her parent temporary without informing your family, she will be the one to explain to her family not you.mind you don't rush to beg her.

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

PrecisionFx:
Bros abeg don't ever check ur wife's phone, talk more of cloning it. U are looking for everlasting problem.