Bro... That's why it's good to marry a virgin

Bros am a married man like you and i had a similar experience, i dont believe that your wife is cheating on you but the the truth is that she doesn't know the implication of what she is doing, most wonen irrespective of there age reason like children, dont be tempted to send her away or ask for divorce especially for the sake of you child, but going foward if you dont like any behaviour from your wife, dont pretend over it tell it to her straight and even if she is ranting to the heavens dont exchange words with her, in so doing she will start livin wth ur does & donts

charris76:
Bros am a married man like you and i had a similar experience, i dont believe that your wife is cheating on you but the the truth is that she doesn't know the implication of what she is doing, most wonen irrespective of there age reason like children, dont be tempted to send her away or ask for divorce especially for the sake of you child, but going foward if you dont like any behaviour from your wife, dont pretend over it tell it to her straight and even if she is ranting to the heavens dont exchange words with her, in so doing she will start livin wth ur does & donts

Lol... I believe you may be older than me sir but you're John Snow. When a lady starts giving these kind of excuses, she's riding another dickk.
Ask guys that have experience fuvking married women.

Modern marriage with modern problem!!!

Abi make i nor marry,can’t go nd die young o

Amhappy:
My guess is that Your wife is not cheating so don't do anything irrational. However you need to make her end the overly association with her exes. It's not healthy for your marriage.

you are so on point bro...i appreciate this

Kaycee7:
YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

Both the Op who reeks of insecurity and inferiority complex, all of you who couldn't note that Op is the one with issues and most especially, the immature idiots who have already rushed to the conclusion that the wife is cheating, YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

ur brain needs to br formated back to factory reset

i am not the overly marriage protective type... cos marriage is both responsiblity.... so if shes is ready to ruin that..... then let the free bird fly... nd u settle with someone better.......

dats y some marriage doesn't last.... these kinda people are the reason divorce exists

be very careful about that her ex that called her overnight and couldn't think of calling anyone else except your wife,at d end of the day it is the devil that will take the blame.u better warn ur wife to stay clear off the devils track.you are too soft and it is part of the reason she doesn't obey you.i won't be surprised if one of those exes has her mumu button and she will be forming obedience and submission to him.

my best friend ex girlfriend is currently disturbing my life begging her life out to me to make sure her ex,, my best friend takes her back..... when she was misbehaving,, i personally begged her to stay put,,, but na padlock dem use block her ear then forming stubborn nd not wanting to be submissive cos she ain't married yet
i was the secret brain behind their breakup cos my guy found someone whos a potential wife material... now the ex girlfriend is disturbing my life with unnecessary 50 mins calls almost every day saying she wants my guy back as if cakes that has been eaten can be gotten back.... i pity her shaa
women don't almost always realize what they want until its completely gone..... rubbish

you are a weak man

charris76:
Bros am a married man like you and i had a similar experience, i dont believe that your wife is cheating on you but the the truth is that she doesn't know the implication of what she is doing, most wonen irrespective of there age reason like children, dont be tempted to send her away or ask for divorce especially for the sake of you child, but going foward if you dont like any behaviour from your wife, dont pretend over it tell it to her straight and even if she is ranting to the heavens dont exchange words with her, in so doing she will start livin wth ur does & donts

I agree with you, women are mostly ignorant of the consequences of their actions even when its staring them in the eye. My gf is like that too, although not about exes or guys but she does something's that I don't get the rationale behind it. She will even tell me and that makes me correct her gently and sometimes sternly seven she's being stubborn

Oyindidi:
Lol, no be forming hard o. Year one of marriage I go cry for every little thing. Year twelve I don turn kaki nothing dey move me. Him dey see my post as him be nairalander

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

The best way you can stop this is for you to start yours. This is not peculiar to your wife alone, I've had such as experience. What you have to do is to raise issues about your ex too. From time to time and in close intervals, cook up a story about your ex and tell your wife that you have to go and see them. By the third time, she will complain. Then you tell her that's how you feel when she bring ups her ex too. After that, she will definitely stop.

The problem with marriages these days is that people will b doing rubbish and call it maturity. U mean ur wife is going about frolicking with her exes in the name of functions/ceremonies and u condole it, thinking its maturity?
Now here's the blunt solution: Let her fam know of this n let it b the last warning!

If she wants to live oyibo life, let her marry oyibo. We r blacks, we have culture!

Grupo:


Yes, continue to give benefit of the doubt until she carry HIV come give you, then you go die for nothing.

Perhaps she's of questionable character then

MissingBudget:


People make stupid generalizations. I've had only one ex, and I don't even remember her. Next girl I will have anything with, will be my wife. So how will I have a thing for the ex again? Mtscheew!

Lol

daben1:
wife not girlfriend, seems you've forgotten

Did i say girlfriend?

@OP; Listen mate, things like this happen when you allow your wife to see you finish; asin she don see you finish. I can’t understand when men/women can’t let go of their EX especially when they’re now married to different people. Don’t men/women realise that if they were that good then they’ll have been married to their EX and not someone else?

This mostly happens when a woman has no respect for her man/husband. If a man/woman has utmost respect for themselves, then he/she has no business being in close contact with his/her EXs. From this angle, you’re a bit too soft; no offence and hope none taken; wake up and smell the coffee to the advertised drama that your wife is performing with her EXs and PUT AN END TO IT.

Your wife is killing you slowly without you even knowing by this her stubborn refusal to stop communicating with her EXs. She seems to have forgotten that she’s no longer a girlfriend to any of her EXs but rather a wife to someone else and that someone else is YOU. REMIND YOUR WIFE THAT IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR HER TO KEEP IN CONSTANT COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OF HER EXs.

It’s obvious; you’re not in control of your home otherwise your wife wouldn’t have the audacity or even the liver to keep in constant contact with any EX. I am not saying that you should be a tyrant/bully neither should you be a walk-over/weakling. Rather, YOU NEED TO BE FIRM WHEN YOU SAY CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD NOT TOLERATE IN YOUR HOUSE SUCH AS YOUR WIFE KEEPING CLOSE LINKS WITH HER EX/OTHER MEN AND THE SAME RULE SHOULD APPLY TO YOU AS WELL REGARDING YOUR EX/OTHER WOMEN.

You have to sit-up and tackle this head-on and if she wants to stay with you, then you give her the option again (I’m sure you must have done that already) to cut off all ties with her EXs as she rather seems to be emotionally attached to them which makes her have continuous contact and chats with her EXs. If she’s not willing to do that, then you simply tell her THE CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT HER REFUSAL WOULD LEAD TO. The choice is hers; and BE FIRM when you tell her that. From your write-up, it seems you have spoken to her severally times without any change; hence, you’ve now been boxed into a corner and you now need to address this problem as a matter of urgency i.e TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS.

Let me digress a bit and ask if the case was the reverse (I hope you ain’t involved in this) i.e you were the one keeping in contact with your EX/other female friends' and also doing what she is doing with them; I can guarantee that she would raise the house down; fight with you, quarrel with you, nag you as well etc. The saying; DO ON TO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT DONE TO YOU comes to mind.

Unfortunately, your wife has lost all form of self-respect for herself as a MARRIED WOMAN WHO HAS NO SHAME IN CARRYING ON CONTACTING HER EXs. This may be due to your neglecting her; maybe/may be not who knows? Dude, wake up to the reality that HIV and AIDS ain’t written on anyone’s forehead and it only takes a single encounter to become infected as your wife seems to have graduated from only communicating with her EXs on phone but also now planning a visit; I laugh in Japanese. Be warned and be wise.

I rest my case

Kaycee7:
YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

Both the Op who reeks of insecurity and inferiority complex, all of you who couldn't note that Op is the one with issues and most especially, the immature idiots who have already rushed to the conclusion that the wife is cheating, YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

U have zero experience with humans.

Quorax:

Make I give you bucket to cry?

greatnaija01:
SO IGNORANCE IS BETA ABI? that is how u may carry AIDS without knowing....

see a BROKEN marriage is better than a BROKEN LIFE.

IF u already have zero trust or confidence in ur wife, the marriage is as good as over.

Better talk to ur mum before u get married.

Simplep:
Which kine advice be this tori oloun

Check his username

Kendumazy:


You need to show some actions that she doesn't really matter since she doesn't want to do the right thing or doesn't respect your feelings. You need to show some actions that you can live without her. If you show these actions and she doesn't bitterly apologize to save her marriage. Then, you need to work on separation cos your peace of mind is one of your most priorities. Sorry, if I sound as if I want to destroy your marriage. Hell No! The truth is that, it takes iron hand and iron heart to handle a kind of your woman.

.

Bros God bless you, change your attitude and show her you can live well without her.
If she values her marriage, she would adjust

This is the type of lady that will be saying no sex until marriage when she is busy banging other guys or exs

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
@Op don't allow unnecessary pressures break your home.

You guys should communicate more as an equal. Best you give her the benefit of the doubt.

I don't think u read his article.

stupidity:
In as much as I hate restricting my girls movement, even to visit an ex or whoever she wants to visit, our ladies are so dumb to know almost every man that comes in contact with them, be it an ex or a new toaster, or wannabe bestie, will grab every opportunity to get her laid.

Just know one thing bro, when an ex visits me, or I ask her to visit me for whatsoever reason. The fvck must be fvcked. Fact#. Talk more of the ex having a bigger dlck than yours, and the said ex can fvck very well. Tell me why she won’t wanna have some when she visits him.

Dem go fvck your wife o. Bros.

Na anyhow ladies just full Nigeria. Who does that??



Someone in the comment section said the OPs wife has “excess ex’s”

Another said “he knows the password to unlock all his ex’s brain and get them laid”

so what are we now saying??

If my ex visits me, tori olorun, I fvck her like I’m not gonna see her again. But not when she’s married I be good boy for that area

Boss, your nickname and your writing Na total opposite. I would have say,that’s my bishop,but imagine if you go be bishop?
Kpekus go suffer enough calamity’s.

The line that’s ways you don’t eat,married Vs.thats the best lyrics in a long time from a honey eaters member.

Mutemenot:
I blame you for marrying a woman who wasn't ready for marriage . You probably want to change her from her numerous male friends but failed to understand the difficulties in changing an adult .
The only option you have Is to close your eyes to her dealings with the EXs or u 'll continue to have issues with her..

Wen u marry, allow ur wife to still be friends with all her exes

PrecisionFx:


I don't think u read his article.

I did. He needs to b careful how he handles the situations on ground.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
I did. He needs to b careful how he handles the situations on ground.

There's is nothing to be careful about anymore, his wife has long gone haywire and it is his fault because he allowed the first ex story she came up with.

This woman has completely lost it and needs to be violently shaken back to reality.

All that guy needs to do is contact the wife's family and tell them everything n also sternly warn his wife that she will go back to her father's house if she ever brings up any story of ex-boyfriends in their home.

U that is defending the girl, how would u feel if ur husband on 2 or 3 occasions tell U that he's going to visit his ex girlfriend.

PrecisionFx:


There's is nothing to be careful about anymore, his wife has long gone haywire and it is his fault because he allowed the first ex story she came up with.

This woman has completely lost it and needs to be violently shaken back to reality.

All that guy needs to do is contact the wife's family and tell them everything n also sternly warn his wife that she will go back to her father's house if she ever brings up any story of ex-boyfriends in their home.

U that is defending the girl, how would u feel if ur husband on 2 or 3 occasions tell U that he's going to visit his ex girlfriend.

No no, I didn't defend her. She ought to drop all her exes contacts.
I would definitely get hurt and insecured unless he's such a trustworthy person

TrumpDonald2:


The best way you can stop this is for you to start yours. This is not peculiar to your wife alone, I've had such as experience. What you have to do is to raise issues about your ex too. From time to time and in close intervals, cook up a story about your ex and tell your wife that you have to go and see them. By the third time, she will complain. Then you tell her that's how you feel when she bring ups her ex too. After that, she will definitely stop.

They say two wrongs don't make A Right.... Lalalala

This is the kind of man uyailcomparabl will like as a husband.