1StopRudeness:


Be sincere, tell me the truth ...did u even read the OP's complain fully...or u just commented based on the thread topic and small surface reading...cos if u did...u will see where he said she posts pics of herself very well, and also her colleagues at work wishing them well, and even crops the husband's image out when ever she wants to post a fine picture but the husband is on it...to top it all up if the man post her picture on his own face book he will get angry the man is tagging her ...whats she angry about in tagging...we all know what happens when u tag someone....

I don't think a woman that doesn't like someone enuf to the to be seen with the person is worthy of being in a relationship with that person let alone marriage...

I READ IT FULLY WELL

YU ARE THE ONE THAT CANT COMPREHEND..

HE SAID THAT SHE DOESNT CARE IF HER HUSBAND POSTS HER PIC OR NOT, THAT IF HE POST AND TAG HER SHE WOULD UNTAG HER SELF>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I REPEAT, THEY ALREADY HAD @ KIDS, THE GUY IS HANDSOME AND TALL AND ALSO WELL TO DO, MARRIED THE LADY AT THE AGE OF ABOVE 30!, SHE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR!

NOT EVERYONE LOVE DISPLAYING THEIR HUSBANDS OR WIVES

THEY CAN POST PIX OF OTHERS BUT , NO< NO ,NO, NOT Their LEGIT PARTNER!!

LET ME TELL YOU, I DO THE SAME AS WELL


AND MY ADVISE TO THE OP, PLEASE IF U WANT IT, ROMANTICALLY TELL HER< WITH ALL HUMILITY, AND SEE IF SHE CANT, AFFECTION, FRIENDSHIP, ROMANTIC.. YOU CAN GET ANY LADY DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, IF YOU THE ABOVE,

SHE NO DEY CHEAT, SHE DON BORN BABy< HSE TAKES CARE OF YOU, NA TO ADVERTISE YOU FOR SOCIAL MEDIA>>>>>>>>>>

MY GUY YOU NO GET PROBLEM>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TOUCH HER SOFT SPOT AND TELL HER THAT YOU WANT HER TO ADVERTISE YOU, AND SEEE THE OUTCOME>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

GOODLUCK

UyaiIncomparabl:


If she so much hated attention, she wouldn't even post pictures of herself nor have agreed to take pictures. A person who doesn't like attention lives a private life online and offline. In her case, she's disgusted at him.

She also posted pictures of her male colleagues on their birthdays and said sweet things about them on social media. Comma dey.
For me, the flag came up when i read the above

nwanyionitsha:
She also posted pictures of her male colleagues on their birthdays and said sweet things about them on social media. Comma dey.
For me, the flag came up when i read the above

Don't mind them. They want the man to pretend all is well, when it isn't. Nobody would take this coldness.

@ OP

I Promise you, if you follow all these childish nairalanders advise , you will have problems in your sweet home!!!!!!

YOU GOT NO PROBLEMS

I AM A LADY, EVEN TOWARDS THE TIME I WANT TO MARRY, BECAME SCARCE IN SOCIAL MEDIA ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK

SHE LEAVES HER PHONE AND DONT BOTHER CHECKING YOURS ( EXACTLY MY KIND OF PERSON)

LIKE I SAID< CHECK WHETHER YOU PAMPERS HER OR YOU ARE A BIT HARSH OR NON AFFECTIONATE, MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING <<AFTER ALL SHE WORKS AND CAN BUY A CAR< SO WHATS BIG DEAL

YOU ARE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE AND CAN GET HER DOWN ANYTIME, IF YOU WANT HER TO POST YOUR PIX TODAY< SHE WILL, JUST DO THE NEEDFUL< IN FACT FORCE HER ROMANTICALLY,

THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..............

The major difference between you and the posters wife is im guessing you make your husband feel loved. He knows you love him. In the case of the poster, he knows she doesnt love him. He cant feel it. This isnt about showing off on Social Media. The dude doesnt just feel loved.

megareal:


Sorry, I have to quote you. Your analysis leaves me perplexed because I am just like the wife of the OP. I have never shown my husband off on social media. No wedding pix, no cute lovey dovey stuff. I don't wish him happy birthday or comment on his post cos we are not friends.
Apart from our circle, folks on social media don't know I'm married to him. I love hubby like crazy, I'm proud of him and would sacrifice anything for him but in my mind, social media is a taboo when it comes to family. I hide my family like kilode. Hubby has never complained nor commented. I don't need to announce to the world that my marriage is good.

I am also very none enthusiastic when given gifts. They don't trip me, reason I couldn't be bought by any man when single. I used to react that way when hubby gave me gifts, even when he bought me a car, now I muster up a little excitement to thank him just so he wouldn't feel bad. I am not demanding neither do I care about his money.

Why I am writing this is because I see myself in that woman, and since I am just like her I'm wondering if your analysis is wrong. I do not have a secret lover or love interest. I've only ever loved my husband in the real sense of the word and the thought of cheating has never crossed my mind, so I'm wondering, could you be wrong about her?.

@OP, your wife MAY just be like me. I don't presume to know what goes on in your marriage, but I'd advise you take most of the advice given here with caution. An innocent woman may just be accused wrongly by folks whose first explanation to everything is cheating.

@OP

You may not have married the most altruistic and conscientious woman in the world - perfection is still of the most high God - but, believe you me, that you're married to a strong-minded woman. . . a gold. Her non-PDA "imperfection" towards you isn't an act of manipulation, this is what matters the most in a case like this. Her non-PDA towards you doesn't mean that she loves you less - talking about the compound/bigger love here, the love that matters, not fancy/physical love. Her non-PAD imperfection is an attitude present in almost all altruistic and conscientious people - some are more extreme than others though - so non-altruistic and non-conscientious people (egotists, egoists and narcissists) must learn to tolerate it when dealing with her type. In her you won't be dealing with an insatiable woman, contentment and self-effacement are her major hallmarks/attributes - she'll only rebel against you if you become lazy and/or irresponsible. I have no doubt that she's reserved, however, she's neither introverted nor timorous. Obviously she's powered by grit rather than greed.

In her you've a woman that'll be forever loyal in particular and faithful in general to you, so long as you remain good towards her in particular and every good thing she sincerely holds dear in general. Yes, I feel your pain, but the best thing you can do at this point is to master the act of accepting her for whom she's. If you can conquer your entitlement of wanting her to embrace PDA towards you, I can assure you of a near perfect marriage till the end of time - all things being equal.

She's more like a woman version of me. In fact, she's even better than me in the sense that she does post photos of her parents and siblings and colleagues and celebrate with them on their special occasions like birthday and its ilk. Personally, you can't/can hardly caught me doing any of such. Also, I'm more inclined in giving than in receiving, but I don't fancy my beneficiary expressing needless excitement. A sincere "thank you" is always enough for me. Of course, I don't express excitement when someone does something good for me, except a sincere thank you too and effort (at the back of my mind) in reciprocating the good gesture in multi-fold in the near future. More so, I find it easy to send congratulatory message on birthday or similar celebration to acquaintances than doing so towards my close relations, not because I love the latter less, in fact, I can die for them. I don't see any new acquisition or accomplishment as a big thing, so I neither revel when opportune to get something new and great done nor communicate same to anyone. I have been privileged to be in some of the most interesting and beautiful places in the world, but I don't have a single photo to show for same because such isn't my thing - it doesn't make those that have interest in such bad though.

Once more, you have a gold, just strive to conquer your entitlement of wanting her to embrace PDA towards you and accept the hard fact that perfection is of the most high God. Liberty - her liberty - will surely be her priciest/most cherished asset, avoid trying to take it away from her if you need continual peaceful coexistence with her. Her behavior towards you didn't suggest that she married you out of availability rather than desirability as many have suggested, because she didn't mete out any form of psychopathic action and inaction against you - one who marries you out of availability rather than desirability will surely do that. Yet, she can do better if she puts in some effort.

I don't know why young people of nowadays prefers Social media validation for their life.

Mr Man, it is not everyone that prefers living their life on SM.

It is good for you if you reveal less about you on SM.

All the best.

Shes doing these things as a duty. Shes a dutiful wife.

rOsy247:
Just imagine. She's a good partner yet you complaining of her not showing u off on social media. How's it a problem? Many who show off where are they today? The Tonto, the tiwais, etc. Humans and their insatiable wants.

victorian:







Yes I teach as well.. And also an instructor.

Alright, that's good. I want to connect with u. I'll DM you via email

Ttrrffyyghuuh:


There's nothing more frustrating than a spouse that doesn't make the least effort to work on some character flaw that you find disturbing...
Forget anyone that says's she doesn't like attention, she posts pictures of herself online and with family and even with your child but refuses to be seen pictured with you...
Everyone else above has put up nice submissions, but i want to inquire however, you never made mention of her attitude towards you in social functions you attend together, weddings, parties and the likes. How does she behave at such functions, does she also refuse to be seen with you? Not like it matters anyways, since her overall attitude towards you is cold..

which leads me to my next question....

Also you made mention of gifts and such, how is your daily life, do you ever laugh together, talk deeply about stuff, pray together and so on? does her indifference only come up when you buy her gifts, you made mention of her impersonal disposition towards your gestures but is she like this everyday, do you come home to a wife that is always avoiding you, doesn't let you touch her, shows obvious disgust at you for nothings sake?....

Its easy to say she's opted for you as a last resort due to her age factor after she couldn't get her dream man, which is the most rational analysis, but knowing the answer to this questions will help in finding a solution....
It's worthy of note that she may not be cheating, the fact that she post pictures of her and her child shows that she's stating it loudly that she is a mom...It's just you she's ashamed of.

If she doesn't avoid you at social functions and you have your good times privately (which i believe because you said she took out time to celebrate your birthday with you, but seen pictured with you is an abomination and you also mentioned she performs her duties as a wife, even with her schedule as a surgeon), then you might be able to salvage your marriage, it simply means some part of her still values you although she is ashamed to show you to the world which is your leverage...

Use it well, put it to her bluntly what you think and if she is ready for this marriage or not!!!, you are condoning this rubbish by allowing her jargon excuses to stand!!!, sit her down and tell her all you have told us and let her make a choice, that's the only way to know if your marriage is worth it, else you'll live in an unhappy marriage for a long time, sulking everyday..

if on the other hand, she avoids you everyday, you don't do stuff together, horrible sexlife, doesn't like to be seen with you at social functions or church, then you have no leverage honestly, if you push her to a certain level not even a child or the title of Mrs will make her stay, she will be like even me that is managing you...




Something in my body sha is telling me it's how you look, honestly(Not beauty, since you said you're a fineboy , Maybe you are years older or years younger (Abeg OP if you see this post answer this, what is your age difference?). Her reactions towards gifts from you maybe another thing entirely, have you seen anyone else give her gifts or complement her?, parents, friends maybe? how does she respond?
If she's also cold and distant to others as regards gifts and complements, then that is a character flaw and has nothing to do with you, which could be good in a way......

But this your wife na complex human being sha, see as i dey rack my brain dey try understand person i no sabi, like say i no get work

I agree with you. Probably the guy is an older ,rich handsome man. Definitely not younger.
A younger rich and handsome man may not be this patient.

Acidosis:

..but why would you marry someone who isn't madly in love with you? BTW, no one is emotionless, they just haven't found the one they love. Love do not obey certain human principles, e.g. privacy. Love should make you go out of bounds sometimes.

Two things are involved here; first, your wife is still crazy about an ex she couldn't marry due to family issues, genotype, and other external, not personality differences or infighting. Second, your wife has never been privileged to fall in love with a man.

While the first option spells more doom, you still have the power to turn around the situation. You can make absolutely any woman fall in love with you. It is never too late to change the situation.

You have used attention, incessant gifts, and obsession and nothing has changed. Have you tried withdrawing, making yourself unavailable and giving her the impression her love is unimportant? Women are wired in a different way bro. You need to withdraw the expression of some feelings and act of loving to get her attention. If you made her picture your wallpaper, delete. Remove her picture on your dp and don't upload any for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. That's how you get her attention and put her emotions to work.

Another good response, but what if she decides to seek attention elsewhere when he withdraws his attention and affection?

just let her be..treat her d exact way she treats u. ..intentionally turn down her efforts to do something nice for u...and u stop doing same for her...not saying u should maltreat her ooo..am saying I should take care of urself ..intentionally forget a birthdays,don't hang with her family or tell her about ur day. .most times women take for granted men when they 're to affectionate. .live for ursrlf and us child

nwanyionitsha:
Another good response, but what if she decides to seek attention elsewhere when he withdraws his attention and affection?

then it's not his fault...it is what she wanted all d while. .it's sickening to give love and receive nothing in return

Bonebreaker:
i read ur story and it was quite interesting. U mentioned she was about 30 when u got married could it be that she married u because she felt that she was getting old and had no choice so she just decided to tie the knot with u??

How can a 30 year old lady be termed 'old'? I really fear for our mentality here in Nigeria

Ishilove:

The husband wants a social media rabble rouser which she is not.

I disagree here. Uploading your wedding picture is not a sin.Using your better half as D.p on their special day is not bad. These are not everyday events.. Then going lengths as to cropping him out of a picture is something I fail to understand. This is just another way of showing you truly appreciate the person.He is not asking for too much.

Evercurious:


How can a 30 year old lady be termed 'old'? I really fear for our mentality here in Nigeria

DONT MIND THEM


,, A PRACTICING DOCTOR AT 30yrs. YOU GUYS THING MARRIAGE IS AN ACHIEVEMENT

SHE SIMPLY DIDNT SEE IT AS AN ACHIEVEMENT, ITS SOMETHING ORDAINED BY GOD AND MUST HAPPEN.

UNA THINK SAY < SHE BE JOBLESS HUSBAND SEEKING LADY < TO BE ADVERTISING HUSBAND ON SOCIAL MEDIA

IS SHE A CELEBRITY ? OR IS THE HUSBAND A CELEBRITY?


NKOGHERI

OILOFGLADNESS:



I READ IT FULLY WELL

YU ARE THE ONE THAT CANT COMPREHEND..

HE SAID THAT SHE DOESNT CARE IF HER HUSBAND POSTS HER PIC OR NOT, THAT IF HE POST AND TAG HER SHE WOULD UNTAG HER SELF>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I REPEAT, THEY ALREADY HAD @ KIDS, THE GUY IS HANDSOME AND TALL AND ALSO WELL TO DO, MARRIED THE LADY AT THE AGE OF ABOVE 30!, SHE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR!

NOT EVERYONE LOVE DISPLAYING THEIR HUSBANDS OR WIVES

THEY CAN POST PIX OF OTHERS BUT , NO< NO ,NO, NOT Their LEGIT PARTNER!!

LET ME TELL YOU, I DO THE SAME AS WELL


AND MY ADVISE TO THE OP, PLEASE IF U WANT IT, ROMANTICALLY TELL HER< WITH ALL HUMILITY, AND SEE IF SHE CANT, AFFECTION, FRIENDSHIP, ROMANTIC.. YOU CAN GET ANY LADY DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, IF YOU THE ABOVE,

SHE NO DEY CHEAT, SHE DON BORN BABy< HSE TAKES CARE OF YOU, NA TO ADVERTISE YOU FOR SOCIAL MEDIA>>>>>>>>>>

MY GUY YOU NO GET PROBLEM>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TOUCH HER SOFT SPOT AND TELL HER THAT YOU WANT HER TO ADVERTISE YOU, AND SEEE THE OUTCOME>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

GOODLUCK

See....its one thing not too post ur man on ur cyber space...and do whatever u want with ur space....why on earth would a wife complain what a man does with his own cyber space to the extent of saying don't post my pics or tag me.....if that isn't selfishness then I don't know what is....it's not a surprise u don't see anything wrong with it...uve said u do the same as well...so best of luck with you and ur husband...

And age nor dey your side. Women select too much until they get old start regretting because nobody will interested again.

victorian:
Oga, you are not tall dark and handsome. Talk true make devil shame.

Anyways I understand what she's going through. Cause I almost got myself entrapped in such kind of marriage but counselling with my Pastor saved me on-time.
I'm not saying u are a bad person, neither am I saying u are ugly but the thing is this : you can be someonelse dream man , perfect and Denzel looking to another woman except your wife. Your wife has the idea of how her ideal man should look like.
Not all women are tall, dark and handsome as their ideal looking man. Some prefer average height, natural for looks with a muscular or athletic body. That's why God created us in different shapes and sizes.
And your wife who got married in her 30s must have seen it all, got heartbroken by the kind of guys, she would have love to marry and settle down with. But reality dawned on her, such guys won't make A good husband to her. Then u strolled along into life, she realised u are serious with marriage. She checked herself, she's not getting younger, what da heck! Lemme marry. I will simply resign my self to this marriage as long as I have a family with him. Who cares about happiness and love. Most marriages sef are just there.
And with what friends will always ring into our ears everyday. Marriage is not about love, it's about marrying a man who is ready and capable to stay married. Just be humble and calm, have your kids and have a business or career going for yourself. That's all. We don't always marry who we wish to marry and here we are with our kids. You cannot be selective anymore, forget about falling in love and just Marry!
That's exactly how your wife feels. She's resigned to her fate with u. She cannot leave u, cos she's determined to stay married. Her happiness is irrelevant as long as she's Mrs.

What a life


In my own case, I stopped myself on-time from marrying the guy who proposed to me, after opening my heart to my Pastor. My Pastor said do I want to be lifeless in the marriage, I said no with tears almost running down my cheeks. He said good, then don't marry him, cos u will regret it. Tell him kindly u simply don't love him, which is the truth. There and then I felt so free and alive, I even felt like hugging the pastor with so much joy! Lol
I told the guy, I'm sorry dear, I can't go thru with it. And I don't regret it. I feel free and alive! . I don't care about my age. I just want to feel at peace wit my soul and being.

Creampro:


Since you are a social media person, show off your own pictures with your wife. Display you and your wife,

If she doesn't like to display, that's her own choice..she may not be a social media display person.

No she is a social media person because she posts her pictures, she posts her pictures with her kid, and she posts pictures of her male colleagues. I know a Sri Lankan woman like this who I used to work with she flirts with me a lot and she bugs me to let her move into my house because she wants to leave her husband, true story. She doesn’t have any of her husbands picture on fb either, I know for sure she cheats on her husband.

koyyes:
Op, I wonder how you can be talking about your wife's age and the hypocritical pedophilia standards when you can clearly see she is still bearing kids even till now. And mind you, research has shown that kids born at that age are usually the smartest.
You expect her to be grateful she has a d1ck to call her own even when the d1ck can't give her anything but $perm.

She probably has faced reality a long time ago and has decided that the only thing that can give her long lasting joy are her career achievements and kids.

Maybe there are things you say and do that irritates her and she doesn't want to be emotionally invested in you.

You met her and you liked what you saw. A females who doesn't need a dime from you and is not clingy. What more does a negro want?You can't have it all. Just manage her like that.

I hope you don't cheat? Else, you don't expect a woman like your wife to be as you want her to be because you can't change certain females by acting that way. You will only worsen things.

If you like, take the reverse psychology advice of some dundi united here that are telling you to make her jealous by frolicking with girls. Remember that those hungry girls have feelings too. They want someone that will give them money and rent/buy a house for them. You cannot use and dump them. They are smarter now. You will eventually become their baby daddy. Be prepared to divide your home, pay more school fees and live worse than 2face all in the name of 'she doesn't upload my pics online'.

Hope you wont mind a peck from me. I still d9nt understand how people would term a 30 year old lasy as old. Sorry at that age , marriage wasnt evn close to my list

constanceibe:

Sharrap ya mouth, spiritual husband dey social media. Okurrr...

You b goat, Mumu read the post well.

You don't need to watch are phone. It might cause you to do something you will regret forever. That's wrong

fastseo:
Your wife is normal. You said she uploads her make colleagues and wishe them happy birthday n wrote swt things.
If she had not done the above then I would said leave her alone it's her nature but it's otherwise.
You are not her idea man, probably she has boasted how her man should be n thar that that...

Probably married u cos of her age, being over 30 woman at this time will say i do to any man.

You need to watch her very well especially her phone.

megareal:


Sorry, I have to quote you. Your analysis leaves me perplexed because I am just like the wife of the OP. I have never shown my husband off on social media. No wedding pix, no cute lovey dovey stuff. I don't wish him happy birthday or comment on his post cos we are not friends.
Apart from our circle, folks on social media don't know I'm married to him. I love hubby like crazy, I'm proud of him and would sacrifice anything for him but in my mind, social media is a taboo when it comes to family. I hide my family like kilode. Hubby has never complained nor commented. I don't need to announce to the world that my marriage is good.

I am also very none enthusiastic when given gifts. They don't trip me, reason I couldn't be bought by any man when single. I used to react that way when hubby gave me gifts, even when he bought me a car, now I muster up a little excitement to thank him just so he wouldn't feel bad. I am not demanding neither do I care about his money.

Why I am writing this is because I see myself in that woman, and since I am just like her I'm wondering if your analysis is wrong. I do not have a secret lover or love interest. I've only ever loved my husband in the real sense of the word and the thought of cheating has never crossed my mind, so I'm wondering, could you be wrong about her?.

@OP, your wife MAY just be like me. I don't presume to know what goes on in your marriage, but I'd advise you take most of the advice given here with caution. An innocent woman may just be accused wrongly by folks whose first explanation to everything is cheating.

Do you also show off your pics and crop off your husband from the photograph or go chatty chatty with male colleagues online?

MyFlair:

Alright, that's good. I want to connect with u. I'll DM you via email

OK cool.

What's your email id?

Francejaik:


Is this your real face This excess make ups cum cropping made you look like a PS 2 Graphics.

Really?

It's my real face. I like makeup, but light ones.

If u see excessive makeup, u go bow. I'm even learning where makeup is concerned.

This is too bad, and here I am, looking for someone to love me and display me to the world.

SamOyovwi:
And age nor dey your side. Women select too much until they get old start regretting because nobody will interested again.

Leave her to select as much as she wants to.. Naaa her life.. Me sef i still dey select at my 'old' age. Abeg make unaa free person..

Well naaa for thise wey e dey bother cos i care less

Xaos:


Disgusted at someone she married — the father of her child? Okay. For you to say this, maybe you skipped the part he said she has been / still is a good wife. Or the fact that he ‘only’ isn't a part of her life online.

Oh... You don't know a thing or two about people who hates attention. Is not something you can ‘just’ fathom.

forget talk. that guy na heavy ju man.

UyaiIncomparabl:


You talk too much.

women y'all don't really like yourselves. did she write more than that guy above her I actually enjoyed her write up, she expressed herself to an enjoyable extent.

victorian:








Really?

It's my real face. I like makeup, but light ones.

If u see excessive makeup, u go bow. I'm even learning where makeup is concerned.

Babe you fine joor

I was only joking. Do have a splendid evening

CASTOSVILLA:
she does not want her handsome hubby to be preyed by some anonymous predators. Between, I'm an Architect too, which firm do you work at that pays millions, I want to apply.

By the Way, not between.

Evercurious:



Hope you wont mind a peck from me. I still d9nt understand how people would term a 30 year old lasy as old. Sorry at that age , marriage wasnt evn close to my list

Well, science tells us kids born by women 30 years and older have a very high chance of being challenged... Plus, considering the fact that menopause is just about 15 years from 30, it explains why some may consider age 30 to be a little late for a woman to get married. Then too, u are probably one of very few women who wasn't thinking of marriage at age 30... Even women in advanced countries, where age isn't really a thing, would be searching for a marriage mate on or before 30...