Well, since she's 18 now! You should actually set boundaries Without hurting her feelings. Suspicions are already raising up and it could generate to something unwanted. There are attimes you need to be stern with her just like your wife. Your daughter is a woman now, and you know the chemistry btw a man and woman, that's what she's feeling now, if she's a boy will she be doing same with you, well I don't think so. So you can see a whole lot of chemistry revealing, therefore boundaries need to be set, good luck!

sacajawea:

Your Types are notorious Players note i did Not say Gold Diggers, you are usually d female versions of Chop and Clean mouth as Adults

Tell me the truth, a girl like that broke your heart?

I think its cute...though I'm a crazy breed

Ubenedictus:
allow her sleep in ur bed if it doesnt disturb u, u will notice that gradually she will adjust.

Allow her to sleep in his bed?!

I appreciate the comments ladies and gentlemen. There's an update I have included as the first reply to the post in a space i reserved before i was suspended.

I would most likely be sending my daughter away to face more life challenges, probably start a relationship and rediscover a new future. I have not been able to find a way to discuss with her about this attachment, her mother did a few times but she seems to take it not seriously.

Mizwisdom:
OP, you're strange, you don't sound like a father rather you sound like a predator. If you rape your daughter you will suffer the consequence.

Not a chance!

kristen12:
I wish I was this close to my dad. She trusts you sooo much that's why she is really free with you.

U can be close to me

DPRmoniker:


I know that even on gunpoint with the devil, I cannot harbor sexual thoughts on my daughter or sister. I am not that religious anyway, but I feel there should be some distance. Others have also indicated that she may use me as benchmark when choosing husband and it will be wrong if not corrected now.

to continue shortly . . .

@bold u make me laff
For u to have created this thread clearly shows something is running through your mind....create some distance bro

Rubbiish:

U can be close to me

So, she should be close to rubbish? Lol.

folake4u:




Tell me the truth, a girl like that broke your heart?

You think you are Smart Abi? Don't worry Karma Will Catch up with You very Soon

Rubbiish:

@bold u make me laff
For u to have created this thread clearly shows something is running through your mind....create some distance bro

That bolded part came into the essay for thoughts like yours.
I created the thread because I think it's a bit strange and abnormal. Almost everybody I asked said they never saw a thing like that. Sometimes her displays get me embarrassed as well.

SolutionsGuy:


So, she should be close to rubbish? Lol.

Lols

DPRmoniker:
I appreciate the comments ladies and gentlemen. There's an update I have included as the first reply to the post in a space i reserved before i was suspended.

I would most likely be sending my daughter away to face more life challenges, probably start a relationship and rediscover a new future. I have not been able to find a way to discuss with her about this attachment, her mother did a few times but she seems to take it not seriously.

Please do not push your daughter into suffering or aid her to make wrong decisions, what do u mean by sending her away? Sit her down and explain things to her, she will adjust. She will take your talk seriously. It is better u talk to her & let her be, than sending her away because u want to avoid talking to her. I really do not like the way u sound. U sound fearful & strange, i hope u haven't develop feelings for her

kristen12:
I wish I was this close to my dad. She trusts you sooo much that's why she is really free with you.

Like some observed, closeness is unhealthy and there should be boundaries. My own parents were more like friends to me.Jokes, nicknames and what have you..it was that good. But the issue of showing body parts, or suggestive positions never came in. For wetin?? I think the girl is being too carefree and childish. She's a woman now and her father must draw a line. I would be disgusted if I saw my adult daughter's sensitive parts.

Vellichor:
Allow her to sleep in his bed?!

yes ma'am,

sometimes this advise is important so i hope you'll remember it: "Observe all things, correct a few and ignore most"

The little you correct will adjust the most u ignore.

Sometimes the easiest way to drive your kids away is to pontificate on all their mistakes.

If u trained them well ab initio, then their mistakes will be self correcting, point the genre out, they will adjust to the particulars.
how is ur day going?

sacajawea:

You think you are Smart Abi? Don't worry Karma Will Catch up with You very Soon

What are you talking about? I have no idea what you're saying!

folake4u:



What are you talking about? I have no idea what you're saying!

All the hearts you've shattered! Who will heal them

sacajawea:
All the hearts you've shattered! Who will heal them

Guy, Idk wetin you dey yarn sha . My prayers are with them, God will heal their broken hearts

DPRmoniker:
I appreciate the comments ladies and gentlemen. There's an update I have included as the first reply to the post in a space i reserved before i was suspended.

I would most likely be sending my daughter away to face more life challenges, probably start a relationship and rediscover a new future. I have not been able to find a way to discuss with her about this attachment, her mother did a few times but she seems to take it not seriously.

Your finding it hard to have this conversation with her speaks volume about your own weaknesses as a parent. I still refer you back to my earlier suggestions and advice.

You are abdicating your parental duties and sending her away so that life, her school, the internet and her peers can train your child for you. In essence, you are leaving her success in life to chance.

I have my deep fears about your sending her away this way without preparing her adequately for life. The consequences may be dire.

Her foundations are shaky no thanks to you and perhaps your wife lacking the requisite parenting skills. She's your child and you need to man up to the duties of a father before it's too late.

Two words too much for the wise.

Best wishes and I sincerely pray she turns out great and successful.

Sending her to school without having a talk with her is A VERY WRONG MOVE.

You and your wife, and together MUST sit and have a talk with her on this in a gentle, parental and loving manner. I wonder why Nigerian parents dodge speaking with their kids, yes kids can be close to their parents, but the towel move? I don't think so....

I guess when she was growing up there were no rules or boundaries set? Or probably she is trying to fill up for your wife or has misunderstood previous gestures?

Please deal with this before sending her to school, otherwise be prepared for the consequences...

@Rubbiish, DeeMain, trendyprettygir, I am surprised myself on what is stopping DPRmoniker from talking to his daughter and setting boundaries about this close bond they share before he sends her away? I’m lost for words and trying to understand why.

@OP; I really don’t understand why you are not comfortable talking to your daughter about this closeness you both share to have boundaries before you send her away to start her life. Your wife has been trying from your write-up; but your daughter doesn’t seem to want to take heed to what her mother is rightfully pointing out to her.

The example of the towel incident is really shocking; I mean common mate; she’s 18 and at that age one should expect her to be conscious of not exposing herself in that manner irrespective of whether she's in front of her family members or not. SHE SHOULD LEARN TO BE APPROPRIATELY DRESSED AND SITED PROPERLY WHEN SHE IS IN AND OUT OF THE HOME. It’s apparent that when that incident happened, you didn’t DO MUCH (I may be right or wrong); but rather your wife did and your daughter probably didn’t take kindly to the correction; as your daughter thinks she did nothing wrong.

You and your wife have to work as a team otherwise if it’s only your wife trying to teach your daughter for her to limit this closeness with you, your daughter is going to form and enemy bond with her mother. So you and wife have to speak in one voice when you set these boundaries.
You are saying that you can never have the feelings of molesting your daughter which IS VERY GOOD and I commend and applaud you for that; but if you hear the stories of fathers who have molested their daughters, it didn’t just happen just like that it started from somewhere; which can include having a close bond without setting boundaries which eventually led into a wrong act being committed. Hence be cautious that it NEVER HAPPENS TO YOU (excuse my emphasis) as you are a man and she is a woman.

YOU NEED TO SET BOUNDARIES (repeating this again) as this has already been pointed out to you by other posters on this issue. That you stayed with her since she was very young which translated into this close bond happening is just an excuse you making for not wanting to set boundaries and that should be curbed. In situations like this you need to be firm but fair so it doesn’t turn out that your daughter begins to sense that you want to push her away.

I know a lady who had this same extreme closeness to her father and when she got married it still carried on and this made her husband confused and uncomfortable about it. Along the line, as a result of this issue and others, the marriage ended. So please talk to your daughter so that this doesn’t impact on her marital life when the time comes for her to settle down as not all men can overlook their wife having an extreme close bond with her father.

Also she’s young at 18 and not sure why you now want her to get into a relationship because you subconsciously think that it will limit the bond you both share, oh please; sorry to burst your bubble; but that ain't gonna happen; as it may not limit the bond as you envisage it to. Dude, don’t push her into a relationship at that age (as she needs to develop herself first ) due to your not forth-coming to talking to your daughter ABOUT SETTING BOUNDARIES TO THE CLOSENESS YOU BOTH SHARE. Please and please, try and sort this out before you and her travel out so as to avoid any problem arising between you, your wife and your other children.

I rest my case

Thanks again @Rubiish, DeeMain, trendyprettygirl and toksbisola.

I have further, deeply understood your advice. We shall have a meeting on this in the coming weeks.
It's not as if I don't talk to her on anything, just that I haven't reasoned to sit her down and tell her that it is not very good she is too close to her father, and that she should work to cut it down. I was of the view it could lead to withdrawal of some sort that may be bad for the family.

She is not a badly behaved or lousy person. I have watched her grow for almost 2 decades, I know what she can or cannot do. Just that I overlooked this closeness thing, and believed she would outgrow it with time, but the time isn't just coming.

My thoughts of sending her to a more serious school in Europe is that if she is so busy for months working on class projects on her own, she would have less time to video chat with daddy or mummy and naturally the bond will be fading. Out of sight is mostly out of mind, with minimal communication. Maturity is now.

As you have emphasized, we shall have a few rounds of talk on this before August/September when she will be resuming in the faraway school.

DPRmoniker:
Thanks again @Rubiish, DeeMain, trendyprettygirl and toksbisola.

I have further, deeply understood your advice. We shall have a meeting on this in the coming weeks.
It's not as if I don't talk to her on anything, just that I haven't reasoned to sit her down and tell her that it is not very good she is too close to her father, and that she should work to cut it down. I was of the view it could lead to withdrawal of some sort that may be bad for the family.

She is not a badly behaved or lousy person. I have watched her grow for almost 2 decades, I know what she can or cannot do. Just that I overlooked this closeness thing, and believed she would outgrow it with time, but the time isn't just coming.

My thoughts of sending her to a more serious school in Europe is that if she is so busy for months working on class projects on her own, she would have less time to video chat with daddy or mummy and naturally the bond will be fading. Out of sight is mostly out of mind, with minimal communication. Maturity is now.

As you have emphasized, we shall have a few rounds of talk on this before August/September when she will be resuming in the faraway school.

I must emphasize again. It is extremely important you and your wife have this talk with her and months before she leaves for school.

And you know why? Because you need ample time to both study her after the talk and ensure she clearly understands that its not that you both do not love her, but you both need her to understand boundaries and limits especially because of the future.

You need to watch her behaviour before she leaves so she does not think otherwise and get attached to the wrong person.

Cheers!

This thread is bigger than me so i am here to learn, I actually like the fact that I'm extremely, selfishly close to myself

DPRmoniker
Let her be going to bum fire night @jives every Tuesday night

she will change

lol well. I de find wife oo
Abum nwa nsukka ideke Arumona

Ama abu ezigbo di oo

Homeboiy:
DPRmoniker

Let her be going to bum fire night @jives every Tuesday night


she will change


lol well. I de find wife oo

Abum nwa nsukka ideke Arumona


Ama abu ezigbo di oo

Lol.
She no go fit go Jives o, she no dey UNN.

Dejee o! O ya b unu patag'de manya nkwu elu

DPRmoniker:
Thanks again @Rubiish, DeeMain, trendyprettygirl and toksbisola.

I have further, deeply understood your advice. We shall have a meeting on this in the coming weeks.
It's not as if I don't talk to her on anything, just that I haven't reasoned to sit her down and tell her that it is not very good she is too close to her father, and that she should work to cut it down. I was of the view it could lead to withdrawal of some sort that may be bad for the family.

She is not a badly behaved or lousy person. I have watched her grow for almost 2 decades, I know what she can or cannot do. Just that I overlooked this closeness thing, and believed she would outgrow it with time, but the time isn't just coming.

My thoughts of sending her to a more serious school in Europe is that if she is so busy for months working on class projects on her own, she would have less time to video chat with daddy or mummy and naturally the bond will be fading. Out of sight is mostly out of mind, with minimal communication. Maturity is now.

As you have emphasized, we shall have a few rounds of talk on this before August/September when she will be resuming in the faraway school.

Please no need for any meetings, if u have the means send her out to study, u bring the idea of meeting, she will start having ideas of harboring things from you, which is very bad from the family, after a year or two in abroad, her brain go reset

DPRmoniker:

Lol. She no go fit go Jives o, she no dey UNN.
Dejee o! O ya b unu patag'de manya nkwu elu

Nna anyi onye ek'k weé bu unu shi
Dejee oo

Rubbiish:
U can be close to me

I'll pass

Omoluabi16:
Like some observed, closeness is unhealthy and there should be boundaries. My own parents were more like friends to me.Jokes, nicknames and what have you..it was that good. But the issue of showing body parts, or suggestive positions never came in. For wetin?? I think the girl is being too carefree and childish. She's a woman now and her father must draw a line. I would be disgusted if I saw my adult daughter's sensitive parts.

I understand. Guess she's just a free spirit.

kristen12:

I understand. Guess she's just a free spirit.

Exactly. Being free spirited is cool though.
How are you Kristen, hope you're good.