Haven't done this before, but I want to know your honest, experienced and well thought out opinions. I'm really depressed but I won't take Snipper (that devil is a liar). If you don't have anything serious and reasonable to say, please, just read comments (I know as e dey be for here, sometimes).

Its quite a long read. Apologies for any grammatical or typographical error encountered.

Here is my story.

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

My apologies for the long read.

About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me.

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them). To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

How do I move from here? Advice me.

I'm a firstborn too. Handling younger siblings can be difficult.

FTC

firstbornson:

My younger sister who is staying with me disrespects me alot, and she doesn't take my advice. My parents stay very far away and I feel responsible for her. It frustrates me whenever I tell her something and she will wait to do it at her own time or not do it at all. She even sometimes abuses me indirectly.

You have to assert your authority, and stop having the person walk all over you like that.
Start by making serious threats to have her being shipped back to your parents, and if she doesn't change, stick to your words and send her back there.

She is 19, came to stay with me last year November, for a Predegree program, after staying at home for two years without admission. After the first semester of her program, her result was released and it was very disappointing. She made 51% in only one course of four courses, while others are below that. To be honest, I felt I failed in my responsibilities of giving her the right counsel, motivating her, and all that. All she does is press her phone all night long, that's if she isn't watching a movie with her phone. She'll sleep and wake up the next morning by 8 or 9am.

Some people are not good school wise, and that's ok.... Ask her what she wants to do, and see if you can find a course/classes where she will enjoy her passion fully. At 19, she may be lost as to where she could be heading from there, and having her mind focused on something is important.

Recently, there's this guy who happens to be my late landlord's first son in the compound where we stay that she has been spending too much time with in dark corners and I can tell in my gut that he's up to no good. He doesn't go to work, school, church, nowhere. He just seats at home all day, smoking weed and any other smokable substance he can lay his hands on. Sometimes, his friends come around and they smoke and play PES 2011 on a laptop. Lest I forget, he's also a cultist. He has tried on several occasions to make me a yahoo boy, but I had to consciously refuse.

Come on...your sista must be up to no good with them.... At least smoking, which is probably why she has an attitude. Being a pothead does that to you, especially if some fool is making her feel bigger/funkier than she actually is. Throwing her out of your house would have her go shack with this demon child.

My apologies for the long read.
About a week ago, this guy asked her to cook indomie for him, and she did, using our gas, without telling me. This got me really up set. I had to take several deep breaths. I calmed down and allowed her finish. After she was done, I asked her to seat down and we started talking. While we were talking, she started responding rudely to me

The direct outcome of weed+having some dude make her feeling herself...

This made me hit her for the first time in 19 years (I hate hitting them).

Well done!!!!!

To my utmost surprise, she hit me back. That singular act made her receive a very hard beating that she sustained lots of injuries. She immediately called home and my parents where now shouting at me on phone. My dad came the next day and said lots of things. My mom said lots of things on phone which just piss me off the more, called me all sought of names. Said I shouldn't allow the devil that is controlling take me close to my sister.

Be strong on this issue and tell your parents that YOU should raise/help that child the best YOU see fit, and if they don't like it then they should take her back home and care for her their damn self (politely though)

Right now, I hate all of them. My dad, mum, and sister. If I was financially buoyant enough, I would have moved out of this house. I feel really depressed, being having nightmares and I so much hate the fact that am still living here.

By the way, am male, 24, studying Biochemistry, should have finished my first degree last year but I'm having an extra year (3 spill over courses).

So who pays for rent? Or is it your parents house? Then I suggest you keep quiet and let that demon child (sister) do what she pleases and clean your mouth from her biz....

How do I move from here? Advice me.

Be patient...stick to your plan and finish your education 1st, then get a decent job to help you move out of there and live your own life. Take your time as rushing won't help in this matter.

You're also a failure that's why she is disrespecting you.

Now let the little girl be and put your miserable life in other first.

FindX:
You're also a failure that's why she is disrespecting you.

Now let the little girl be and put your miserable life in other first.

This is one of the siblings we are talking about.

Lastborn, keep quiet and let your seniors speak first.

SenorFax:

This is one of the siblings we are talking about.

Lastborn, keep quiet and let your seniors speak first.

Senior, do you have sense?

FindX:




Senior, do you have sense?

Go and find your X, in this case, your sense.

So sad.
I really hate disrespectful siblings.

Our last born is stubborn but I can't beat her cos she's stronger than me.
All I do is to avoid arguments with her or threaten not to give her any of my belongings or give her money.

The truth is that, she'd start respecting you when she sees you can now Carter for yourself and for anybody. Same thing with your parents scolding you.

Relax and make money, and all these nonsense will stop.
If she chooses to date the useless landlord's son, then leave her, all the regret will be bore by her alone. Just do your best.

But why are some landlord's first sons almost very useless?

I dont know what to say. All i can wish you is best of luck. I think giving het the silent treatment will be best.

Fix yourself first and when you do, do not carry her along. She is eating free food, living rent free and still direspecting you.... just bide your time and follow your own dreams.

Before you know, her new boyfriend will carry boys and chuk you in your sleep.

Please send her home before 'weed smoking cultist' will get her pregnant. It is not your responsibility to train or raise her. That's your parents responsibility. If they are angry about what you did, ship her back like a defective jumia product. You are only doing them a favour. That girl can even be a distraction at a time when you need to focus on clearing all your papers.

People like your sister always come back to their senses when something bad has happened to them.
In this case pregnancy or joining cult group.

My honest advice

I am a first son. As you and have 6 sisters. How do I manage them. Hmm bro it's the grace of God. My prayer is for God to give me all boys because girls are really difficult to cater for esp in their adolescent stage.

Ignore her completely, act like she does not exist. The reason why she is disrespecting you is because you are giving her too much attention. Do the dishes yourself. Clean your house by yourself. Ask her to raise her legs so that you can sweep the floors. Whenever you see her with her crew of guys don't say a word. Do this for a month she will realize she is On her own. She will start getting scared and start seeking attention else where. When she gets negative attention and see the selfishness of the people she is with, and reality of life sets in she will find her roots. Pls don't interfere with this process because you will ruin everything. They are probably having sex but don't kill yourself. That's life for you. I have a sister though not wayward but she is very stubborn. It took me 4 yrs to bring her to her senses. Now she realizes she needs a brother.

Bringing her to her senses
Maybe after a month or two she may need your opinion about something. Reply her with calmness and never relate it to any of her lifestyles. Its possible you judge her all the time about her lifestyle that's why she disrespects you. Its probably doesn't like the life but don't know how to change so be objective in your communication with her with time she will see you as someone to look up to. Always encourage her to do the good things and reward her when she does them. You may never get her to your side but you will get your respect back. Abi is that not what you always wanted?

By the way when is your birthday and when is hers so that I can couch you better?

castro316:
My honest advice

I am a first son. As you and have 6 sisters. How do I manage them. Hmm bro it's the grace of God. My prayer is for God to give me all boys because girls are really difficult to cater for esp in their adolescent stage.

Ignore her completely, act like she does not exist. The reason why she is disrespecting you is because you are giving her too much attention. Do the dishes yourself. Clean your house by yourself. Ask her to raise her legs so that you can sweep the floors. Whenever you see her with her crew of guys don't say a word. Do this for a month she will realize she is On her own. She will start getting scared and start seeking attention else where. When she gets negative attention and see the selfishness of the people she is with, and reality of life sets in she will find her roots. Pls don't interfere with this process because you will ruin everything. They are probably having sex but don't kill yourself. That's life for you. I have a sister though not wayward but she is very stubborn. It took me 4 yrs to bring her to her senses. Now she realizes she needs a brother.

Bringing her to her senses
Maybe after a month or two she may need your opinion about something. Reply her with calmness and never relate it to any of her lifestyles. Its possible you judge her all the time about her lifestyle that's why she disrespects you. Its probably doesn't like the life but don't know how to change so be objective in your communication with her with time she will see you as someone to look up to. Always encourage her to do the good things and reward her when she does them. You may never get her to your side but you will get your respect back. Abi is that not what you always wanted?

By the way when is your birthday and when is hers so that I can couch you better?

kai!!! Castro has killed it o.... Hmnnn

Preshy561:
So sad.
I really hate disrespectful siblings.

Our last born is stubborn but I can't beat her cos she's stronger than me.
All I do is to avoid arguments with her or threaten not to give her any of my belongings or give her money.

The truth is that, she'd start respecting you when she sees you can now Carter for yourself and for anybody. Same thing with your parents scolding you.

Relax and make money, and all these nonsense will stop.
If she chooses to date the useless landlord's son, then leave her, all the regret will be bore by her alone. Just do your best.

But why are some landlord's first sons almost very useless?

Thank you. Although, I don't think threatening not to give her money would work here. My parents give us same amount of pocket money.

firstbornson:


Thank you. Although, I don't think threatening not to give her money would work here. My parents give us same amount of pocket money.

Someone - be it sibling can't give me wahala under my roof.
Send her to your parents.

castro316:
My honest advice

I am a first son. As you and have 6 sisters. How do I manage them. Hmm bro it's the grace of God. My prayer is for God to give me all boys because girls are really difficult to cater for esp in their adolescent stage.

Ignore her completely, act like she does not exist. The reason why she is disrespecting you is because you are giving her too much attention. Do the dishes yourself. Clean your house by yourself. Ask her to raise her legs so that you can sweep the floors. Whenever you see her with her crew of guys don't say a word. Do this for a month she will realize she is On her own. She will start getting scared and start seeking attention else where. When she gets negative attention and see the selfishness of the people she is with, and reality of life sets in she will find her roots. Pls don't interfere with this process because you will ruin everything. They are probably having sex but don't kill yourself. That's life for you. I have a sister though not wayward but she is very stubborn. It took me 4 yrs to bring her to her senses. Now she realizes she needs a brother.

Bringing her to her senses
Maybe after a month or two she may need your opinion about something. Reply her with calmness and never relate it to any of her lifestyles. Its possible you judge her all the time about her lifestyle that's why she disrespects you. Its probably doesn't like the life but don't know how to change so be objective in your communication with her with time she will see you as someone to look up to. Always encourage her to do the good things and reward her when she does them. You may never get her to your side but you will get your respect back. Abi is that not what you always wanted?

By the way when is your birthday and when is hers so that I can couch you better?

Thank you. My birthday is 6 June while hers is 3 May.

MrBrownJay1:


You have to assert your authority, and stop having the person walk all over you like that.
Start by making serious threats to have her being shipped back to your parents, and if she doesn't change, stick to your words and send her back there.



Some people are not good school wise, and that's ok.... Ask her what she wants to do, and see if you can find a course/classes where she will enjoy her passion fully. At 19, she may be lost as to where she could be heading from there, and having her mind focused on something is important.



Come on...your sista must be up to no good with them.... At least smoking, which is probably why she has an attitude. Being a pothead does that to you, especially if some fool is making her feel bigger/funkier than she actually is. Throwing her out of your house would have her go shack with this demon child.



The direct outcome of weed+having some dude make her feeling herself...



Well done!!!!!



Be strong on this issue and tell your parents that YOU should raise/help that child the best YOU see fit, and if they don't like it then they should take her back home and care for her their damn self (politely though)



So who pays for rent? Or is it your parents house? Then I suggest you keep quiet and let that demon child (sister) do what she pleases and clean your mouth from her biz....



Be patient...stick to your plan and finish your education 1st, then get a decent job to help you move out of there and live your own life. Take your time as rushing won't help in this matter.

Thank you.

Listen man, focus on your spillover courses. You both have your individual goals to pursue. You're older. So what? Few years from today, your sis would end up with a man, with or without a degree. You should be very concerned about your future as you have more people to look after in the nearest future. If you scold or beat up your sister for failing, who's going to scold you for the 3 spill over courses in one session?
Doing the work of your parents shouldn't be at your own detriment.

Let me just drop little advise for you.

I am also a first born with two younger ones. My last born is almost like your sister. He doesn't listen to advise. I beat him when it is necessary ( I don't talk, only take actions). Even my parents fear me because they can't predict me.

Your parents shouted on you because they still give you money. Start being independent and see how they will respect you and your decisions.

For your sister, just tell her what you feel about her life style and the consequences. Then leave her and face your life. Ignore her totally, she should fend for herself and see the magic. She will definitely run back to you

ValCon888:
Please send her home before 'weed smoking cultist' will get her pregnant. It is not your responsibility to train or raise her. That's your parents responsibility. If they are angry about what you did, ship her back like a defective jumia product. You are only doing them a favour. That girl can even be a distraction at a time when you need to focus on clearing all your papers.

People like your sister always come back to their senses when something bad has happened to them.
In this case pregnancy or joining cult group.

I pray it doesn't come to that before she realizes herself.
Thanks.

firstbornson:


Thank you. My birthday is 6 June while hers is 3 May.

Ok. You sister needs someone who can pet her crack jokes with her and as a brother you must provide security for her. Hmmm your sister must be a stubborn one o. Very subborn and she will not yield to you if you are aggressive towards her. She is the stay at home kind of girl but it seems you are not making her comfortable that's why she goes outside. Sorry though their type have more of guys as friends so don't sweat it that she moves with guys. Its probable that she bullies but once you pet her you will see her feminine side. Like I said, do what I said in my previous post the once you win her care for her. You can't boss a natural boss make her your friend instead

Put Sn*per in her Tea

Three things are wrong with you

1. You don't have money

2. There is no mystery about you

3. You don't do what your mates do so they underate you. Things like having a girlfriend, drinking beer etc. You will be surprised how these little things bring respect!

If u need respect from her and others work hard and get that money.

Be happy at least that she is alive and well enough to be troublesome



We don't know what we have until we lose it...

As an only child, I envy people when they complain about how troublesome their siblings are....

I wish i had troublesome siblings who will steal from me, make me very angry sometimes...

Why do you think couples who have no kids find it so depressing.... The sound of kids jumping up and down everywhere in the house, breaking stuff, screaming and playing, and being all the adorable nuisances that kids generally are, is such a joy to a parent... A parent will always complain about how stubborn their kids are... But they get depressed once the kids go on holiday and the house is as silent as a cemetary

It is usually when troublesome people die that we actually get to realize that their troublesome nature isn't the worst thing that can happen... That their trouble was part of what actually gave meaning to our own lives


I am sure your sister does not mean any harm... Calm down and be the persevering elder Bro that you are... If you can't put up with her youthful excesses, who will...

You cant do much since you dont do that much in paying her bills.
Send her back home and face your book. If she carry belle, na you go still carry the blame. She (a teen) should be ur parents baggage, since they are alive and well!

Am also the same of your age and my sister is 19 but dem no born in the girl to be rude to me. Dem neva burn or born her well. You too find a way to gain independence

Go and make money

One thing I hate in my life is disrespect .

OP, I know she's at a rebellious age but you must teach her and other people how to respect you .

Don't ever settle for less, don't tolerate nonsense.
It doesn't matter whether you have money or not, demand respect from her by hook or by crook !