My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. - Family (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Ftheophilous(m): 3:15pm On May 24, 2019 |
Uhmmm....Okay... What you are about to hear is from a front row seat first born. Yes I'm a first born in all ways describable as a first born and when I tell my siblings to sit, they dare not remain standing. This is not because I beat them or maltreat them, far from that. Let me explain what happened. My siblings have not always been respectful to me while we were much younger, in fact, my mom will nag at me when I touch them. But what happened?? Let me tell you. An uncle came..This uncle flogs them anytime they talk back at me, doing this made them cultivate the habit of respect for me. What I'm trying to butress here is that if your sibling did not respect you while you guys were younger, it will be harder when you guys are much older. So respecting you has to be of her own accord, Thus you do things attributed to an elder. Another reason could be that you guys have been far apart for too long, so, trying to take the mantle of authority and control her might not sit well with her. What you should have done: You should have tried to reinforce that bridge that had weaken in your relationship before you started imposing authority. I can't really imagine my brother or my sister slapping me, their elder brother. If I was in your shoes, I would have done same. Since your parents know that she hit you back, and they went ahead to support her. It means this bro..trying to bend her is a lost cause, otherwise, you guys will keep on fighting. My advice: Since you are still in school, and you are still receiving allowances from your parents, Let her be. You are not responsible for her future, your parents are. If they can not shape her to be decent, you can't also. If you use force, you might break her (injure her), and that's bad. Do this: Try to distance yourself from her a little, let her live her life, experience is not the best teacher, but trust me, it's the toughest. I'm quite convinced that she's seeing you as a nagger, someone frustrating her life and happiness. Let her make her mistake and let her learn. Protect only when the danger might be too much. trust me, she will come around. you guys can start as friends first before you start imposing authority as an elder sibling. Thank you. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:15pm On May 24, 2019 |
FindX:Second born spotted Abeg na joke I dey o ![]() |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Mariangeles(f): 3:15pm On May 24, 2019 |
ThothHermes:If you believe money is the only way for people to respect, then get ready to toil till you're old and grey . |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by God4memi: 3:17pm On May 24, 2019 |
Start making money for yourself and gain the respect both from her and your parent. Shikaina. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:18pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:Yuu carry a heavy burden of love, However, ur expression of this burden is hard, tough and intollerant. Think of things this way; Even as an elder Bro, Yuu got a spill, don't you think, that alone is a dent on your big brother ego? Yuu can't hate family, yeah? Yuu just maaaad, angry, and probably suffering from accumulated anger. What to do: Be Patient, Younger ones who are sturbborn don't often come around easily, yet we cannot ignore them. Give your Younger sis a lot of space, call your parents and apologise, infact apologise to your younger sis too. Then ghost everybody, except for occasional hello's, don't bother yourself with the future. Keep working on ur self to achieve the purpose you have set out for yourself. time heals even the deepest wound. They will eventually come around. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:19pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:The old first born/ second born rivalry. Even the Bible says second borns are natural adversaries. But I can sense you want the best for your sister. Hope the bad boyz don't overspoil her. Be cool. Use your head. Not easy but might be the best response rather than injure her. Don't let the medicine be worse than the sickness. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:22pm On May 24, 2019 |
as a first born family expects you to bend over? well i dont know if you're the sponsoring yourself or its your parents, you will need to assert yourself and put a distance between your and your family cos in my assessment the relationship between you your parents and your baby sister is toxic. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by loomer: 3:23pm On May 24, 2019 |
You no go drive am from your house? |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Oju4190: 3:23pm On May 24, 2019 |
See am....u nor even know book,how ur sister nor go disrespect u..,..Rubbish |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by maxilly(m): 3:24pm On May 24, 2019 |
FindX:If only you would have the guts to tell him to his face that he's a failure. U just carry fone dey comment on somebody life like that. Keyboard warrior |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Stillthebest: 3:25pm On May 24, 2019 |
Op, first don't commit suicide lol... I know you won't....see, if you think yours is big you need to see other family affairs. A worst case happened to me recently( a lil similar to yours) Bible says respect your parents but don't be fooled by that statement to accept what you will regret later. The way your parents treat you now might be how they will treat you forever if you don't maintain a stand..so while maintaining your stand try and respect them. Has it occurred to you that parents always mind their language to a tough child and they tend to love the child more even when they are not aware of it? This is what you should do, let the child leave or you leave her and let it be known to your parents while you won't live with her If the girl needs your help in distance do it if you have it. And, also reduce your rapport with her and your parents but make sure you still respect your parents...and help them accordingly when you have it. Some parents are always like yours especially if they are not educated. You still are going to face a lot of challenges that will test your stand in the family later in the future. For now begin to man up. Your parents acted on your weakness which has been known incontiously by them over the years. As for your sister, distance and authority are all you need. She doesn't respect you yet. Hey don't think of you have money she will it is a fallacy. Respects are earned. Your tough stand but with modesty and civility coupled wit personality will earn you that. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Iyajelili(f): 3:25pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:OP, listen very carefully and try to implement this. Let your sister make her mistakes and face the consequences of her actions. You are tied together by blood and not a must for you to make her "successful". Truth is many people out there will gladly exchange you for their siblings who will care this much about them, if you don't give her space and allow her make mistakes she will resent you for a very long time. Cohabit with her like she's a stranger for the sake of your sanity and peace. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by ajayiopy: 3:25pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:IN THIS 21-CENTURY |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by ThothHermes: 3:26pm On May 24, 2019 |
Mariangeles:Tell me another way now ![]() |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by annyberry: 3:28pm On May 24, 2019 |
For all I care ur parents are d main problem here, who gives d younger one power ova d seniors... After ur parent it is u in times of authority......... I am also a first child I dnt give my younger ones dat chance so as my parents, just ignore her na only she go reset hersef my brother was on dis table bfor no b person tell am. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Nobody: 3:29pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:The one and only solution to this before she brings disgrace you and your family that's supporting her is to send her back home. Because when the ganja smoking criminal eventually impregnate her, you will still be eventually blamed for self inflicted predicament. SEND HER PACKING. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Sassilicious(f): 3:30pm On May 24, 2019 |
I'm Taurus as well.and everything you have said is spot on. castro316: |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Zombicmodz: 3:35pm On May 24, 2019 |
Nigerian parents of a certain generation are sick by default. Most don't even know they're the worst parents in the world. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Aarenasbaba(m): 3:37pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson: |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Kokaine(m): 3:38pm On May 24, 2019 |
Sellfish:as you rightly put it, we don't value what we have until we loose it. There is something called sibling rivalry. Look it up. Not all siblings could ever be friends. Some siblings became the cause of suicides of individuals. Its easy to sit down in the comfort of your palour and dream up a perfect relationship with your sibling based on your mature outlook to life now. But remember that those in these rivalry never actually planned it out that way. Competition, comparisons, individual differences, sizes, oppression, and all take place among families. It could take away the view to life you presently have. Even in the western world where poverty is not the problem, rivalry exists among siblings. Its a topic quite bigger than can be said away in these few lines. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by grandstar(m): 3:38pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:Your sister is still young and naive. She's also going through the bloom of youth. A point will come when she'll realise you were right. You need to be patient with her. You now have a clue to what it means handling a teenager, especially a girl. If she's doing poorly academically, let her learn a trade. This is temporary until whenever she gains admission. Learning a trade will also keep her busy The best you can do is to direct your sister, you can't live her life for her. You need her to get the sense of what you are saying. Don't also treat her like a child. That would just make her the more rebellious. You can apply some wisdom instead. For instance, if she's in the habit of coming home late, you too come home late deliberately. If you do this repeatedly, one day she may challenge you for coming home late. You tell her to mind her business Bring a "useless girl" home for instance (all scrpted). Let the girl behave razz in front of her. If the girl keeps coming, one day your sister will advise you to dump the razz girl. You can tell her to mind her business that she doesn't like you pokenosing into her love life. But later, but soon afterwards, dump the girl. Inform your sister that you've dumped the girl. That you've taken her advice. And thank her and don't go further than that. Don't tell her to drop the guy. That will whip up some guilt in her. She'll most likely dump the guy afterwards. At her age she wants to explore and go wild. She's been in a cocoon and now wants to "taste life". She wants her freedom and you're about to ruin it. It ain't happening. The best way of handling her is ignore ignore ignore and treat her nicely. The more you pay her attention, the more rebellious and independence she'll want. She wants her space and will take you down to get it. That's why she slapped you. The rebellious spirit is in charge. She actually needs you to be antagonistic so she won't feel guilty when she rebels. It's like when someone slaps you and you work away. By not reacting to the slap, the assailant is left powerless. You've deprived him of a fight as that's what he really craves. By maturely ignoring her and giving her the freedom she wants, the less she'll actually crave it. By treating her kindly, you'll gain her respect. You'll become a confidant. Youths aren't stupid. She knows the life she wants to live is wrong but wants it anyway. By you earning her respect, she would be forced to temper things |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Joystark(f): 3:39pm On May 24, 2019 |
MrBrownJay1:lol@'Demon Child'.... hahahah |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by AmNuhRegular(f): 3:41pm On May 24, 2019 |
Lol. Welcome to my world. My own is even worse because she's the last born. Even when they are sharing food. It's either hers is more than mine or it's the same. Person that I senior with 4 years wey big ![]() After trying countless times to fix it, I've decided to just let it go. Her respect won't put food on my table anyways Although with three spill over courses you're not much of a good example yourself ![]() |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by dinocy(m): 3:45pm On May 24, 2019 |
kabvic:I am a first born too but my dear, it’s frustrating, they use your stuff without tellig and to make things worse, mine all all boys. They talk to you like we mates and even wait for you to talk to them first the next morning. I just ignore and bear because i know i am the first for a reason. God help us all. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Evangkatsoulis: 3:45pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:FALSE STORY. |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by madgoat(m): 3:49pm On May 24, 2019 |
FindX:With the way you are on the first page of this thread shows you spend your days on NL jobless. Isn't this a clear sign you are a failure in life? |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Davidtolu1: 3:49pm On May 24, 2019 |
She above 18 and she will eventually get married ..so you don’t have to be depressed....it’s just preparing you for the future on how to handle such situations.... I won’t say you should ignore her ....but act like you are not seeing what she is doing .. she will eventually know right from wrong later on ....just pray for her advice her once in a while if she cares to listen ....but just always pray for her ....don’t hate ....and have it in mind that All is Well ...���������� |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by Excuzeme: 3:50pm On May 24, 2019 |
tgmservice:The girl is his[b] BLOOD Sister[/b] or are youout of your freaking mind? ![]() #Oloshi.Oloriburuku |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by IamPlato(m): 3:53pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:I Wish I Saw This Earlier... Stop Trying To Change Sturbborn Girls allow Them Learn From Experience. My Younger Sister Is Worse Than Your Sister, presently She Is Out Of The House Since 3months Ago, sleeping With Yahoo Boys And Smoking, she Has Never Communicated Us only Chat With Her Friends but Will Never Give Out Her Location... Presently I Dont Care She Can Go And Die. Thank God My Mother Is No Longer Bothered As Before every Body Is Tired Of Her... Just Ignore Her abeg, let Her Live The Life |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by luminouz(m): 3:55pm On May 24, 2019 |
firstbornson:Jesus!!!! Haddon,ubunja,lefulefu...and the rest,please advise this guy... I'm done talking!!! |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by luminouz(m): 3:57pm On May 24, 2019 |
Preshy561:No wonder u dey abuse me since....common younger sister u can't beat...lazy geh ![]() |
| Re: My Younger Sister Disrespects Me Alot - Help A First Born. by RTSC: 3:58pm On May 24, 2019 |
Female siblings are like that. You can't control them and as a guy you can't ignore them to their whims and caprices because you don't want her to be taken advantage of . My younger sister is 21, and was telling me she can go and come anytime she wants. I just didn't know what to say at that moment. |
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