damton:
Best of luck.


You are angry that you are getting fatter?
When you were busy shouting "THIS IS MY
YEAR OF EXPANSION!!"
You didn't know abi??.
2. A girl born near a door is called Doris
They won't teach you this in school, so tell
me "Thank you!"
3. # LADIES !, When dating a handsome guy,
you have to comment on his pics like "Baby
where did you put the charger ?"
Just to mark your territory.
4. Somewhere in Nigeria, a girl is smelling
her bra to see if she can still wear it after
3days_*
# IbadanGirlsEhn ....
Aunty well done!
5. Nowadays, side chicks have no respect
and fear... They even send regards to the
wife and kids
6. Dad : I noticed you now call me "Dad"
instead of "Papa"...
Daughter : That's because calling you "Papa"
spoils my lipstick
7. Lady 1 : My husband swallowed
paracetamol by mistake, what do I do ?
Lady 2 : Give him headache na... Why waste
the medicine?? # Women_Ehn ??
8. While struggling to find a partner, another
person is in 3 different stable relationships!!
Some people are gifted, I swear!
9. Satisfying a woman is not easy! You will
go and rob a bank and she will ask you why
you robbed Diamond bank instead of Zenith
bank
10. Give a girl 500k or iPhone 8, her mother
or father won't ask her where she got it
from!!
But if you give her ordinary belle, just small
belle o, her father, mother, brothers, uncles
and aunties, witches and even her ancestors
will come looking for you... Is this fair?
11. I look at some people sometimes and
ask myself "Who dey kiss this one sef?"
# MyMouthWillNotKillMeOoooo
12. A girl asked me if Liverpool is a series. I
asked her why & she replied "Cos their fans
are always waiting for next season"
13. Have you ever looked so good, that you
don't want to go home yet, because enough
people haven't seen you??
14. If you don't wanna visit him, then tell
him straight forward. Which one is "I don't
know if I can come again oooo, my father is
angry with my mother "
15. I saw a guy today drinking beer at 6:30
am.
I asked him: "Isn't it too early for you to be
drinking ?"
He replied: "Ooh really, at what time do
throats open?"
I just walked away
Now minding my own business
16. WEDDING NIGHT CONFESSION:
Husband: Sorry, I slept with a lot of
prostitutes.
Wife: I said it!!! Your face looks familiar.
Husband fainted
17. On my wedding day, I will call names
when sharing rice. If you don't hear your
name, you will have to tell us who invited
you!
18. You will never see African parents
kissing, hugging or in any form of
romance... But Boom! 11 children... How
come?
19. 40 different pictures, one cloth .
Bros, no vex o, you be merlin?
20. I was just wondering why the GROOM
sits on the RIGHT and the BRIDE on the LEFT...
I just remembered my basic ACCOUNTING
principles:
INCOME is on the right and EXPENSES is on
the left..
21. Gone are the days when we break up
and delete our numbers... Now, we will just
be observing ourselves on whatsapp and
Facebook status to see who is surviving..
22. People that were owing Lazarus, I
wonder how they felt when Jesus woke him
up from death...
23. That moment when you look horrible in
a group photo and the person who looks
good refuses to delete it.
24.
To my future kids:
I'm not the one delaying you guys from
coming into this beautiful world, Its your
mum who is still busy dating other people's
husband and giving them your milk. I hope
they don't finish our milk.
25. Some Girls are really poor in romance.
You hit her with a pillow, Boom! She's
chasing you with a knife
26. One thing I've discovered is that as you
grow older, you begin to steal meat from
your Mother's pot with more Confidence.
27. Nobody keeps secret like a Nigerian
travelling abroad for the first time.
The fear of Village people is d Beginning of
survival
28. Whether na dem dey rush you,or na you
dey rush dem, don't rush into someone's
relationship or marriage else dem go rush
you go hospital
29. Facebook should try showing us people
you may avoid* not only people you may
know.... Biko
30. If every mother is the Best Mum in the
world, then whose mother goes around at
night bewitching people and pressing
necks??
# I_Wonder_Ooooo ...
31. Shout out to those people that change
the water in garri 2 times before taking it,
hope you wash the one you use in making
Eba?
32. Continue doing "Fat is Bae"
Continue ooo...
Don't go and lose weight...
Until they use bangles to propose to you

hopexter:
Make him come For a two month contract for Bendel insurance.

maryjames9:


Have you heard of the word diplomacy? When you go for job interview and they tell you "you have done incredibly well, we will get back to you", just forget am, you ain't coming back. If they want you, they will tell you "let's discuss salary or when are you starting".

They diplomatically stylishly eject him from their team. His performance is not at par with their expectations. Lets face it, Mikel is a liability unlike Messi who is and will always remain an asset. Mikel has one style, take the ball, reduce the pace of players, pass to the back, side and never forward.

Glycosunde:
Y can't they retain him after all they all praised his contributions to the team

Glycosunde:
Y can't they retain him after all they all praised his contributions to the team

Englishgold:
Mourinho contributed to all these, anyway you have made lots of money bro. You can leave football and go into business as igbo u be. One love

maryjames9:


Have you heard of the word diplomacy? When you go for job interview and they tell you "you have done incredibly well, we will get back to you", just forget am, you ain't coming back. If they want you, they will tell you "let's discuss salary or when are you starting".

They diplomatically stylishly eject him from their team. His performance is not at par with their expectations. Lets face it, Mikel is a liability unlike Messi who is and will always remain an asset. Mikel has one style, take the ball, reduce the pace of players, pass to the back, side and never forward.

comshots:
Nigerian sport newspapers are the ones praising him on behalf of his club.How can mid praise him for scoring only one goal out of 18 appearances.

damton:
Best of luck.


You are angry that you are getting fatter?
When you were busy shouting "THIS IS MY
YEAR OF EXPANSION!!"
You didn't know abi??.
2. A girl born near a door is called Doris
They won't teach you this in school, so tell
me "Thank you!"
3. # LADIES !, When dating a handsome guy,
you have to comment on his pics like "Baby
where did you put the charger ?"
Just to mark your territory.
4. Somewhere in Nigeria, a girl is smelling
her bra to see if she can still wear it after
3days_*
# IbadanGirlsEhn ....
Aunty well done!
5. Nowadays, side chicks have no respect
and fear... They even send regards to the
wife and kids
6. Dad : I noticed you now call me "Dad"
instead of "Papa"...
Daughter : That's because calling you "Papa"
spoils my lipstick
7. Lady 1 : My husband swallowed
paracetamol by mistake, what do I do ?
Lady 2 : Give him headache na... Why waste
the medicine?? # Women_Ehn ??
8. While struggling to find a partner, another
person is in 3 different stable relationships!!
Some people are gifted, I swear!
9. Satisfying a woman is not easy! You will
go and rob a bank and she will ask you why
you robbed Diamond bank instead of Zenith
bank
10. Give a girl 500k or iPhone 8, her mother
or father won't ask her where she got it
from!!
But if you give her ordinary belle, just small
belle o, her father, mother, brothers, uncles
and aunties, witches and even her ancestors
will come looking for you... Is this fair?
11. I look at some people sometimes and
ask myself "Who dey kiss this one sef?"
# MyMouthWillNotKillMeOoooo
12. A girl asked me if Liverpool is a series. I
asked her why & she replied "Cos their fans
are always waiting for next season"
13. Have you ever looked so good, that you
don't want to go home yet, because enough
people haven't seen you??
14. If you don't wanna visit him, then tell
him straight forward. Which one is "I don't
know if I can come again oooo, my father is
angry with my mother "
15. I saw a guy today drinking beer at 6:30
am.
I asked him: "Isn't it too early for you to be
drinking ?"
He replied: "Ooh really, at what time do
throats open?"
I just walked away
Now minding my own business
16. WEDDING NIGHT CONFESSION:
Husband: Sorry, I slept with a lot of
prostitutes.
Wife: I said it!!! Your face looks familiar.
Husband fainted
17. On my wedding day, I will call names
when sharing rice. If you don't hear your
name, you will have to tell us who invited
you!
18. You will never see African parents
kissing, hugging or in any form of
romance... But Boom! 11 children... How
come?
19. 40 different pictures, one cloth .
Bros, no vex o, you be merlin?
20. I was just wondering why the GROOM
sits on the RIGHT and the BRIDE on the LEFT...
I just remembered my basic ACCOUNTING
principles:
INCOME is on the right and EXPENSES is on
the left..
21. Gone are the days when we break up
and delete our numbers... Now, we will just
be observing ourselves on whatsapp and
Facebook status to see who is surviving..
22. People that were owing Lazarus, I
wonder how they felt when Jesus woke him
up from death...
23. That moment when you look horrible in
a group photo and the person who looks
good refuses to delete it.
24.
To my future kids:
I'm not the one delaying you guys from
coming into this beautiful world, Its your
mum who is still busy dating other people's
husband and giving them your milk. I hope
they don't finish our milk.
25. Some Girls are really poor in romance.
You hit her with a pillow, Boom! She's
chasing you with a knife
26. One thing I've discovered is that as you
grow older, you begin to steal meat from
your Mother's pot with more Confidence.
27. Nobody keeps secret like a Nigerian
travelling abroad for the first time.
The fear of Village people is d Beginning of
survival
28. Whether na dem dey rush you,or na you
dey rush dem, don't rush into someone's
relationship or marriage else dem go rush
you go hospital
29. Facebook should try showing us people
you may avoid* not only people you may
know.... Biko
30. If every mother is the Best Mum in the
world, then whose mother goes around at
night bewitching people and pressing
necks??
# I_Wonder_Ooooo ...
31. Shout out to those people that change
the water in garri 2 times before taking it,
hope you wash the one you use in making
Eba?
32. Continue doing "Fat is Bae"
Continue ooo...
Don't go and lose weight...
Until they use bangles to propose to you

damton:
Best of luck.

You are angry that you are getting fatter? When you were busy shouting "THIS IS MY YEAR OF EXPANSION!!" You didn't know abi??. 2. A girl born near a door is called Doris They won't teach you this in school, so tell me "Thank you!" 3. # LADIES !, When dating a handsome guy, you have to comment on his pics like "Baby where did you put the charger ?" Just to mark your territory. 4. Somewhere in Nigeria, a girl is smelling her bra to see if she can still wear it after 3days_* # IbadanGirlsEhn .... Aunty well done! 5. Nowadays, side chicks have no respect and fear... They even send regards to the wife and kids 6. Dad : I noticed you now call me "Dad" instead of "Papa"... Daughter : That's because calling you "Papa" spoils my lipstick 7. Lady 1 : My husband swallowed paracetamol by mistake, what do I do ? Lady 2 : Give him headache na... Why waste the medicine?? # Women_Ehn ?? 8. While struggling to find a partner, another person is in 3 different stable relationships!! Some people are gifted, I swear! 9. Satisfying a woman is not easy! You will go and rob a bank and she will ask you why you robbed Diamond bank instead of Zenith bank 10. Give a girl 500k or iPhone 8, her mother or father won't ask her where she got it from!! But if you give her ordinary belle, just small belle o, her father, mother, brothers, uncles and aunties, witches and even her ancestors will come looking for you... Is this fair? 11. I look at some people sometimes and ask myself "Who dey kiss this one sef?" # MyMouthWillNotKillMeOoooo 12. A girl asked me if Liverpool is a series. I asked her why & she replied "Cos their fans are always waiting for next season" 13. Have you ever looked so good, that you don't want to go home yet, because enough people haven't seen you?? 14. If you don't wanna visit him, then tell him straight forward. Which one is "I don't know if I can come again oooo, my father is angry with my mother " 15. I saw a guy today drinking beer at 6:30 am. I asked him: "Isn't it too early for you to be drinking ?" He replied: "Ooh really, at what time do throats open?" I just walked away Now minding my own business 16. WEDDING NIGHT CONFESSION: Husband: Sorry, I slept with a lot of prostitutes. Wife: I said it!!! Your face looks familiar. Husband fainted 17. On my wedding day, I will call names when sharing rice. If you don't hear your name, you will have to tell us who invited you! 18. You will never see African parents kissing, hugging or in any form of romance... But Boom! 11 children... How come? 19. 40 different pictures, one cloth . Bros, no vex o, you be merlin? 20. I was just wondering why the GROOM sits on the RIGHT and the BRIDE on the LEFT... I just remembered my basic ACCOUNTING principles: INCOME is on the right and EXPENSES is on the left.. 21. Gone are the days when we break up and delete our numbers... Now, we will just be observing ourselves on whatsapp and Facebook status to see who is surviving.. 22. People that were owing Lazarus, I wonder how they felt when Jesus woke him up from death... 23. That moment when you look horrible in a group photo and the person who looks good refuses to delete it. 24. To my future kids: I'm not the one delaying you guys from coming into this beautiful world, Its your mum who is still busy dating other people's husband and giving them your milk. I hope they don't finish our milk. 25. Some Girls are really poor in romance. You hit her with a pillow, Boom! She's chasing you with a knife 26. One thing I've discovered is that as you grow older, you begin to steal meat from your Mother's pot with more Confidence. 27. Nobody keeps secret like a Nigerian travelling abroad for the first time. The fear of Village people is d Beginning of survival 28. Whether na dem dey rush you,or na you dey rush dem, don't rush into someone's relationship or marriage else dem go rush you go hospital 29. Facebook should try showing us people you may avoid* not only people you may know.... Biko 30. If every mother is the Best Mum in the world, then whose mother goes around at night bewitching people and pressing necks?? # I_Wonder_Ooooo ... 31. Shout out to those people that change the water in garri 2 times before taking it, hope you wash the one you use in making Eba? 32. Continue doing "Fat is Bae" Continue ooo... Don't go and lose weight... Until they use bangles to propose to you

Glycosunde:
Y can't they retain him after all they all praised his contributions to the team

Glycosunde:
Y can't they retain him after all they all praised his contributions to the team

maryjames9:


Have you heard of the word diplomacy? When you go for job interview and they tell you "you have done incredibly well, we will get back to you", just forget am, you ain't coming back. If they want you, they will tell you "let's discuss salary or when are you starting".

They diplomatically stylishly eject him from their team. His performance is not at par with their expectations. Lets face it, Mikel is a liability unlike Messi who is and will always remain an asset. Mikel has one style, take the ball, reduce the pace of players, pass to the back, side and never forward.

Glycosunde:
Y can't they retain him after all they all praised his contributions to the team

Sellfish:
In case you guys do not know..

Mikel's transport company owned the bus involved in that terrible accident with a Dangote Truck in Riyom, Plateau State ...it is reported in the 2nd thread below this particular one...in the attached picture you will even find Mikel's name and initials on the bloodstained bus

I see no one is saying that Mikel has used the accident victim for rituals...but most are accusing Dangote of using accident victims for rituals

Mikel and his Family are good people...Dangote is also a good person....Accidents happen and with the number of trucks that Dangote has on the road, it is only natural that his vehicles are involved in many road mishaps

Blaming Dangote trucks for accidents is like blaming Toyota for many accidents involving their vehicles...Toyota has very many vehicles on Nigerian roads its normal that their vehicles are involved in many accidents...simple

Nobody is using anyone for rituals...accidents happen anywhere and anytime

May the souls of the departed find peace