₦airaland Forum

spongeisback:
OP is Ibrahim's side chick. Leave the young couple to work on their marriage, whatever he's telling you ask him to go tell his wife.

gr8minds:
The best comment ever,.
Please leave the couple alone,let them get to know each other better and stop being a third party in their marriage,let the couple work out their marriage themselves and mind your own business.
You have no idea what brought them together,now you have started separating them by supporting the guy In extramarital affairs.
Remember,in every couple’s story,there is always an untold part.

liberalchick:
Hahaha me too, I was expecting to read “now that he sees, he thinks his wife is ugly” lol

dominique:
All these are trivial issues that can be worked upon. First couple of years in marriage is a huge learning period for both husband and wife. After all, we live to learn. All I see here is an evil friend who is trying to destroy a young marriage probably for his own selfish gains. Friends like this will be subtly poisoning your mind against your spouse till you start questioning your decision to marry him/her. A friend that encourages you to get drunk and womanize, is that one a friend?

Stillthebest:
Marriage is a serious school. It tests alot of things about the personalities of the both parties. Most at times, many people have a lot of reasons not to be happy in a marriage but for reasons they chose to be happy by embracing the signed agreement.

There's no perfecr marriage anywhere. Some womens bedroom ministries are poor like your friends wife while some will even want to cheat because the husband can't satisfy them. I don't think your friend wants the latter.

He might need to adjust to her because no matter what he tries to change in hrr she might not change. Changes are only from the minds.

Additionally,. Backgrounds of both of them are different. Your friend has had sex with more than one girl and may be her wife is reserved with a solid background so he shouldn't expect a miracle. If ahe does what he wants sexually today to please him your friend shouldn't expect her to do same next time because she would have forgotten it as it is not a part of her.

Women are colonies they are hard to understand at early timea in marriages .... Firat few years(more than two years) are terrible.
As for food cooking , it is a skill and can be learned and be perfect at. Let your friend make her understand that. They can both engage in it sometimes for her to enjoy doing it better(self will on the part of the lady)...

Not being lively at home?Every human has many characters in them we act the only ones we developed . Tell your friend to advise her her to cheer up. If they have family friends let him take her outing with them sometimes to learn how wives relate with their hubbies.

Last, he is free to take any decision that he consides the best for himself. He shouldn't allow marriage to frustrate him. No one owns your happiness. You own it.

israelmao:
Everything was wrong with their marriage from the beginning your friend's obsession with beauty made him to forget other good qualities that a man should watch out in a lady.If your friend truly loves her and not her beauty she could still become good in bed by talking to her and teaching her what she is expected to do in response to what he does in bed and she could become the best cook if she is willing to learn.Your friend has tasted Igbo girl now I doubt if he will have such time and patience because everything is wrong with his wife and all is right with his sex partner from what I read.

gr8minds:
Your friend never told you anything good about this lady or you just streamlined it to her negative sides to achieve your aim?
God is watching. You can’t break another person’s home and pray to have a good home.

Dreamz77:
A friend of mine happens to be in a serious dilemma, he is a Successful young man, a Muslim but Unhappily Married! The gist -.

Some few years back my Buddy (Ibrahim)was fortunate to secure a Federal govt job which as we all know in naija is like hitting a jackpot! His family are quite rich and he happens to be the last born so he had so much benefits and little or no responsibilities.

Dude was living large and as such was able to Conquer quite a number of ladies and you know our Naija girls, once you are a "money spender" you Automatically become their dream Man! Love of their life and all those rubbish etc.

Every damn thing was good, we always balled together, i made him stop takin codeine and all this crazy syrub which I noticed most some part of Hausa's Cherish more than their O level(dats mostly their max anyway)well I introduced him to taking proper Alchohol like Hero, legend and my ever favorite "Budweiser "!
He always payed the bills coz financially he was bigger!

The main problem began wen he traveled to Philippines to meet with his dad, a Consultant in Manilla, their he met Zainab who was a med practitioner. This lady drove my guy crazy! Like literally crazy! First, wen she got back to Nigeria he became more obsessed ,their was no conversation we could make without he mentioning or Linkin it to her. He was becoming bitchy! Even wen we all go out together she always had dis disdainful grimace on her face like the people around there are beneath her. Imagine ordinary Philippines naim she school (no disrespect for) dats not my headache atoll.

In a nutshell, he wanted her badly and as we all know, as a Muslim its a serious taboo to lose ur virginity before marriage! Ibrahim wanted dis lady soo badly and I don't know mayb it was her beauty cause to be honest she was glaringly radiant in beauty and very erudite in speech. or maybe twas his percievd pedigree of her, I couldn't tell what the oomph was all about.

She liked him too dou but he never took the time to understand that marriage is different from the normal menalin quest!

They never kissed; touched nor romanced before he proposed which I agitated against but my friend went on with his plan and they got married. Yes! He got married Blindy and ever since Dia marriage has been more like its a hell in a cell match.

First, this lady knows nothing about cooking,she can't even cook shit! Ibrahim always have to come eat at my place after work cause according to him she only prepares indomie and Egg!

Secondly she is not a playmate unlike before she doesn't gist while watching tv or have naughty talks aside work and normal stuff like dey use to.

Lastly she doesn't flow in bed (dead wood) and my friend through me has tasted some igbo girls and we know igbo ladies are beasts in bed (we love it like da) he complains of her being too modest in bed and this is funny cause I believe he solely got married cause that was the only way he could have her.

At the moment, they not on talking terms cause he doesn't touch her anymore nor even eat her food (indomie).

My friend was blind to get married with a wrong perception but I really feel for him dou he causd the drama himself. He is considering cheating on his wife at the moment just to relax his urge but I don't support cassanovering wen one is already legally married.

The wife already believes me to be the shenanigan confusing her hubby not knowing m trying to save her marriage .pls dam, Any reasonable advice would be much appreciated guys cause I really don't know how to help out here. Tanx

BecaciaBarbie:
I sincerely see no problem here, not to talk of one strong enough for divorce. Op, please stay out of their marriage, give them time to figure each other out as this is the time they need to avoid 3rd parties like you who unknowingly gives bad advice. If your friend values his marital vows and commitment and also the happiness of his marriage, he'd do everything to help her and not run at the slightest flaws he observes in her. These things can be taught and worked upon when they both sit together to discuss. We really think all should be perfect in marriage, but that's us being unrealistic, and this to me is a minor problem, your friend is just looking for a quick excuse to sample different ladies thereby blaming his wife just to justify his filthy actions.

D1zion:
He's a Muslim remember & entitled to three more wives islamically.so my suggestion is its better he married someone else & bring to the house, a well mannered & cultured Hausa girl,even if its not Hausa maybe Yoruba Muslim which he can get& they'll agree to marry him cos the resources(money( is there.if he can take your advice advised him on that.

Yoighaman:
Same here. I like the OP's style of writing and enjoyed it.

david22uu:
I think best option is for him to make marriage worl... the second one may not be better

babaneenoni:
am not sure u are a true muslim u introduce ur friend to be talking alcohol and bold to say in wen u know well in islam it a taboo to take it smh... tell him to take her catering school.

abkazy:
It is better you advise your friend to go for marriage counselling so that he will be able to explain his marital problem to the professionals to help him out.

maiyee:
why would she be free with her husband when he keeps telling YOU everything that happens in their matrimonial bed. What even concerns with with another person's marriage? I'm sure you just miss the benifits you were getting from your friend before he got married, stop pretending to be a concerned friend.

Reference:
There is no nobility in the acts from whence you both came, no vision to where you both go and no grace on the land you both stand.... so there is no advice to give. Any move you both make is bound to end disastrously.....

Correct your ways and embrace life.

SmartMen:
My bros, I have been there before but thank God for his saved me... Omo, some girls beauty make us lose our senses... I Don japa leave the babe since 3 weeks now.

Well, all those things your friend is complaining about can be fixed if she is willing to learn.

I will advise he talks to her about how he feels and if she is not willing to change, let her know he can't cope.

SmartMen:
that is what has led to the death of a lot of people... Shut ur mouth. Allow people to speak up and save themselves. I know you will also say people shouldn't divorce even when it is leading to death of one of the couple... Cos that is the stock in trade for u Nigerians

Jude4Jesus:
Oga, advice your friend rightly, the way you narrated the story, ur friend believe u a lot, tell him to endure, u guess they are newly married, tell him to go back to her and fix things up, God hates divorce according to the Bible. If he get another lady outside marriage he will regret it, that's the bitter truth, he may fall into the hand of a promiscuous girl that nay be unfaithful. I suggest he enroll her on a 2weeks catering course, and she will learn how to cook. And I most say this here, as regards what you said about been good in bed or not, the women is not the problem, UR FRIEND IS. it is because of the way he had slept with other lady, so he is expecting HIS WIFE to behave like those prostitutes, it doesn't way that way. Sleep with her in a decent way sir, this is marriage, not a brotel. And he is very wrong for discussing their sexual life with other, it may lead to wrong advice.


MAKE THE MARRIAGE WORK.

Gforce2019:
I always think nairalanders ladies no get sense but you prove me wrong... very intelligent comments.
In addition , I will say that the op shld copy your comment and send it to the guy instead of giving him wrong advice. I'm sure the guy will pick sense from your comment.
It seems to me that the couple are committed Muslim (I may be wrong) glaringly .screenshoted already. Tanx fam

Gforce2019:
I always think nairalanders ladies no get sense but you prove me wrong... very intelligent comments.
In addition , I will say that the op shld copy your comment and send it to the guy instead of giving him wrong advice. I'm sure the guy will pick sense from your comment.
It seems to me that the couple are committed Muslim (I may be wrong)

xianah:
Get someone to teach her how to cook,and the sex part he can talk to her about it,she will adjust if she's willing to keep her marriage....I don't advice u cheat ,just end it and move on since u guys don't have kids together.

kingjrofficial:
how can they work on their marriage when she has no clue about being a house wife? (No disrespect Bro, but He's made a mistake which will take the grace of God to sustain the marriage...)
Issues Are..
1- She's Not Romantic In bed, Which breaks many homes today..
2- She's not friendly as a wife, (she doesn't gist wit her husband while watching TV, Who Does That??)
3- Wife's Meal Keeps Husband Hectic day off ones it tastes nice...
Lastly, What's the aim of the marriage if she negative about those 3mentioned??
They both need family consultant ASAP...