soberdrunk:



Well if you truly love your husband and want to stay married to him you have to endure her, from your husband's actions it is obvious he will pick his mum over you anytime anyday so the choice is yours......

Guy abeg forget love,nothing like love there..wat of the husband? If he truly loved his wife,then he will protect and defend her no matter what even if its his own mother.



Abi the woman na God?what kind of mother treats her son's wife like that? And u think the wife would be happy,u lie..


If the mother likes let her marry her son na,rubbish

Mindfulness:
Well, if your MIL is exactly the way you have described her then I pity you but I have never ever met any woman in my life so wicked that she would not understand that a pregnant woman may have to retreat from time to time and especially in the first trimester. Are you sure it wasn't all a misunderstanding?

Imagine say Na my wife type,she no Dey talk once pregnant for 9 months. Till she give birth,she go just dey smile and nothing more .... oya tell me if no be Osama Bin Laden she go,call !!

Sister for our western side,dem say. Suru le se Okuta Jina. Meaning with patience oh,stone go boil so tay stone go done.

Sometimes too much love for one special child go come be like aggression.

Finally Abeg forget wetin Mama said. Wicked people no Dey talk. If she said those heavy words,it means she just hot tempered.

2 things I would advise you stop if you are doing it at all. No listen to any love time talk wey your love daddy go tell you say .... haaaaaa my mama Na harsh woman or one kind kurukere story,men can say anything to have a taste of honey after some fights or little misunderstanding.

Don’t listen to any ill stories about Mama,your sister in-law and their entire family. If the chronicle wan start,run like you need to do something urgent.

Las las , Na back to the suru chapter. You don find time to be alone with Mama and go on your 2 knees? Beg even when you are right,ask her to take you as her child oh and please ma forgive me of incoming sins wey I never offend... lol

Do your research,everyone has their addictions. Be it bags,shoes or Na just pepper soup things. If you know how to rock your man,then you must know how to Unite the family.

Good woman job Na to unite oh..., not praising you no mean say you do anything bad oh... go make mama love and then I go ask Kwan1 to sing for you..


All the best!

properties4sale:


You don't have single sense!!! I just hate this... Tufiakwa..
This is my issue, all this marriage nonsense, so because the mum said something 2 years ago and its over. .. Abeg, make una go sit down.
Your MIL, is the breadwinner, she can stay where she is, and ur husband join u.

U r insulting someone, while u don't even understand the write up

/
Your greed got the worst part of you. If you had dated the guy and knew his family, you would have seen the red flag. You heard "doctor" and you opened your legs. Read your story again and see all the landmines you stepped on just to dig gold.

It is your cross carry it. Do you want to go American on them? That's your problem.



/

I did not read all the comments but few are advocating divorce. That is like running away from your shadow. You mentioned that your Bible teaches you to obey elderly people but you have not fully followed the love your neighbor part of that Bible.
What do you want in life? A broken home or a good life with a sweet future family? Most divircees weep solentl you know. They only present a facade to the public. Deep inside, they are dead.
Mama offended you . Yes. Where is forgiveness? Where is your faith? How many more years do you think mama has on this planet that you want to destroy your marriage for?
Look at the BIG picture. Have a heart to heart discussion with your husband. It is a shame to say you have been living apart from your husband for over 2 years in same country. What is marriage to yu then. Yet you want to maintain your Nigerianess. Do your children know your husband, their 'visiting ' father?
Please, call your husband and let him move over. If you so hate the parents, let him get a separate home for them in ML. GOD BLESS!

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

OP... i will advice u take things easy and look for a way to work things out with ur husband...

these are some of the things i observe

1. your mother inlaw is a trouble maker

2. your husband knows, her own husband knows, in-short the entire family knows

3. he is not a mama boy, sometime we love to fault.... especially first sons and their mother

4. him trying to relocate to NY is to build a home with u and the baby(dont throw this away, he is trying to be a better father and husband)

5. you are taking decisions becos of the mother without putting ur husband into consideration

PLS just find a way to make u and ur husband be together, is the only way u can reduce the impact his mother have on him, she will react, but avoid and ignore her, because the entire family knows who she is, a trouble maker

I won't say anything till I hear your husband's side of the story.

properties4sale:


You don't have single sense!!! I just hate this... Tufiakwa..
This is my issue, all this marriage nonsense, so because the mum said something 2 years ago and its over. .. Abeg, make una go sit down.
Your MIL, is the breadwinner, she can stay where she is, and ur husband join u.

I agree with your point but not with the insults, calm down . I was expecting to hear, mother inlaw hates me. Since there is no such, tolerate, forgive her utterances but dont agree to live with her permanently.


Well my thoughts,

Someone has to be submissive, who will?
Someone has to be a man, who will?


Roles have been misplaced hence the problem. Act the path of a wife, allow your man make the decisions. Stay with him, always look out for 3 of you first. Go back to the drawing board if you want the relationship to last, exercise patient and be prayerful. Things will just fall in for good.

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

Your ML is the way she is and have been, you cant change her all you need to do is give her space and disregard her mouth. I am sure your husband disregards her words too but you are new to her and have not yet learnt to disregard her remarks. You are learning and have taken steps to keep your distance which i agree, but distancing, your husband, as well as his efforts is not a good thing.

That he cannot stand up to his mother does not mean he is a bad man. My wife accuses me of the same offence but the truth is that i simply refuse to take sides coupled with the fact that i naturally is less vocal that both my wife and mum. Besides, at some times i find fault with my wife but i will not tell her in front of my parents.

The only issue is that of having you husband move over without dragging your inlaws with him, i agree, it will spell doom. He needs to get that point so basically i advise you sit him down and make him understand that it is the interest of the family and the children you are after.

In my case, we live in the same town with my parents, their house which i contributed in building is half empty while my house is small for my growing family. I have never considered moving in with my parents even when my mum suggested. I know its a bad idea and your husband should understand and make appropriate plans.

OP what is required of you right now is alot of patience....No wife should make her husband pick btw her and his mother....We all have good and bad attitudes....the mother is not been good to you but don't try to bad mouth her to is son.....no man can take that neither will a lady take his husband bad mouthing her mother except if she doesn't love her.
she has a strong grip over her son due to the bond and trust me most mothers have that grip ......she will lose it gradually with time.
Marriage is very complicated......first few years is always rough with alot of storm....... Just try to endure and tolerate please for your child sake.

There is no perfect marriage .......it comes with different challenges with different couples....Thank God urs isn't money issh........ is still a minor issh just a lil bit bad mother in-law.

Oooo what is man without his Balls?

Imagine the pv55y guy doing not just the bidding of his momma but his wify! Torn btw two controlling powers.
Oh, weep brothers, weep. We've lost ,yet, another one.

The once upon a time loyal wify has learnt from momma how to tame her man. And taming she would. Now the guy, not realising he has lost his balls long ago, just like his father, is threatening brime stone and fire, forgetting the only card his' got left , divorce , has been well thought out and programs put in place to uppercut him with kids custody.

Op, I know there are a lot you left out of this garnished story. I know the love is gone. I know, however sad, that your mind has been moulded into a lane u wish not.

I just know.


You are not seeking remedy but validation /justification/ new lights on how best you can hatch your plans. And your ability to keep wrong records this long, and play it like they happened yesterday, your glassy calls /talks notwithstanding, is mind melting.

I don't blame you however, the blame is squarely on the balless guy who cudnt take hold of a muster seed before it grew into this gaint oak.

Biggermembersro:



I loved her until she said what she said, who says such abeg, tell me how staying with someone like her won't cause issues.

If this is the case, I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with her in the absence of her son... Talk about anything and everything that bothers you in the marriage and see how reassuring or hateful she can be woman to woman. You must be firm with this type and never give ground or you will be ridden like a bike.

As for your husband, he is a mother's boy. But you are overlooking something. He is used to being controlled and not being in control. If you do not learn to control him, his mother will always do that for you.

Do not try to control him like his mother, openly and carelessly, you will lose. That woman has her yoke deeply embedded in him since childhood and he isn't man enough to shake it off. He will always do whatever she wants and favor her over you. To free him and fill that void with your own control (the void must be filled for him to function normally) you must go about things in a way that will not be too obvious to him. Love, sex, obedience and mind games are your tools. Use them wisely.

Simply, put, your marriage is the kind where the woman is the real power in the house and not the4 man. Some smart woman use that power wisely so their husband remains the head of the house. Evil women enslave the man forever.l

So now if you are a coward, run away and maybe in 5 years time you find you man happy with a controlling woman.
If you are wise, stay and take control
If you are wicked, stay and enslave


It may sound strange to you but your husband is the victim here not you. Take control.

If you have any more questions ask me.

breakerofchains:



Sis, you don't have to endure any rubbish.

Put your foot on the ground and give him and his mother very serious warnings. Tell your MIL that if she threatens you again, you'll file a report in the police station.

You are in AMERICA, leverage it!

Don't endure any rubbish ESPECIALLY from your in-laws and husband. Call them out.

If only u understand the meaning of marriage u wouldn't be wispering this kinda evil plan and idealogy into her head like a demon possessed b1tch. Offering marital advice is not for everyone much more from delusional feminists like u who have no business been married. This is a family affiar n I believe all options of
solution have not been exhausted n u are talking about police n American leverage. I am not siding for the man of course he needs to grow up buh ur advice potrays u as a waiting disaster for any unfortunate man straying to u for marriage.....

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

Since you have the government on your side, use it but don't abuse it.
.
Insist that you won't accept any arrangement that will lead to you and her mum in the same house or nearby. Milk her dreadful statement about causing a miscarriage to the heavens. If she continues with her threats and intimidation, stay calm and record them. You can use it to obtain a restraining order and also expose any slanderous against as she is going to twist things.

Since your father-in-law is under her thumb,confide in him if you think he'll take your side. It is helpful to have someine from your husband's family secretly on your side. He can drum some balance into you husband's head. If both parents support your husband, that won't be good.

Marriage makes both of you one, you're yoked together
Automatically you are higher than his mum and dad and should differ to you. The same with your husband regarding your parents. It is therefore wrong for any parent to control your marriage. Your mother in law should really know better. She's obviously possessive. Perhaps she does not want to "loose" her son.

Apply wisdom let your man see reasons and if he obliges shey it's for them to move to NY they don't have to stay with you guys if he can take care of the mortgage for another house

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

Providing likely solutiions without hearing the other parties involved in a situation like this always come with flaws.

soberdrunk:
You cannot marry a "Mamas boy" and not fall in love with his 'mama'......

that it.. skikena.. since you haven't gel when you guys were starting. .so now you can't force yourself. the signs are that it may end in divorce soon...brace up for that...

AngelicBeing:
Gbam

Angel of life how are we?

budaatum:
2 likes for the quality of writing, 3 likes for the sense

One night some girl and some guy were going to a party but had an accident and couldn't go anymore so they went to her house and she called the guy's mama.

"Mama", she said. "We had an accident"
"Hehn!" Said mama. "Is anybody hurt?"
"No mama".
"Olorun seun" said mama. "Come now and finish my hair my dear", and mama put the phone down.
The girl turned to the guy, " Mama said I should come do her hair".
Guy looked at clock and yelled, "Hell no"! And they went to bed.

The next morning, they got up early and went to the guy's house where mama stays, and as soon as they entered, mama ripped! "What time is this? Why didn't you come last night? Is that how you disrespect your mother?! And you want to marry my son!?"

On hearing his mama, the guy said, "Mama mi, it was two o'clock in the morning! It would have taken us 2 hours to get here!" But mama was having none of it and ripped some more till eventually, the guy ripped too!

"Would you ask my sister your own daughter to travel at that time?" And mama's response brought thunder.
"This is my house!" He said to his mama. If you cannot be civil to my friend and live in my house by my rules, then get out!"

Mama think say na joke. Every morning the guy would wake up and say, "Good morning mama mi. Are you still here? I want you to leave my house please!" And three weeks later, mama moved out, and the girl and guy got married a year later with mama's blessings.

A year to the day after they were married, the wife and husband were returning from the home office where the wife had just been given Indefinite Leave to Remain when she said, "It's been a while since I have been home to see my mother, I'd like to go and see her". So they arranged for her to go and she was gone for a month. And when she returned, she said she wanted a divorce, "your mama, your mama, your mama!" And they divorced.

She went on to have two beautiful daughters who are now married themselves, while mama is still praying that her 60 year old only son find a suitable woman to give her grandchildren.

I think you have the patience and wisdom to deal with this. You calmly presented your case and I believe you remain calm when dealing with mama hence the 3 likes. I think you should have moved on when he refused to defend you. You should have told him off big time when he didn't and got him to commit to defending you from attack. What if it were an outsider, would he have said nothing then too?! Talk to him about it now.

The two star is for not living with her and for keeping her in a different state. That's bold! She has not changed. You saw it when she spoke to her husband who must have put up with her as long as her oldest child has lived. Don't go there! If she and her son move to your state, its probably time to move states unless you get that commitment from him to defend you from her in writing! And it likely would be worth less than the ink its written in! A commitment from her would be worth more, but I think that's wishing on a star territory.

I'll be rooting for you. Remain strong.



2 like! Plus 3 like now that I've read it.

In summary, you hoped the hubby would have defended his wife from the clearly, unnecessary, verbal molestation.

Yes it was bad but i would have prefered he catch his wife buy the hand and said, lets leave this place without saying more words that would put salt on frayed nerves. The wife has rightly moved on but the husband is not in the same page.

Asking him do defend her seems like you are asking him to confront the mother on his wife's behalf. That's far from the solution. His responsibility is to keep his mother away from his wife so that the can keep a minimal level of interaction and still be a family.

A lot of women seek for defence against MIL's but i think the best defence is to keep them at opposing arms length. The wife has done it by herself and needs her husband to cement the safe position that is currently in existence.

In your story, the husband should not have allowed his wife on a solitary a visit. I will not allow that if i know who my mother is. You dont keep a Lion and a Goat in the same cage, you dont even keep them in adjacent cages. You keep the far from each other for peace to reign.

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

I like your clarity and patience, you are philosophical in the way you relate with the world, very good. I have simple but impacting response to share.

Her scolding you two years ago and not getting any defense from your husband was very wrong. I want you to reflect on who she is in her upbringing.

1. If her own children could not speak up for fear of offending and getting scolded by her, your mother in law was probably raised in a generation where obedience to elders is absolute, and she grew up in a household in which opinion of the breadwinner is final, any dissenting voice will get cut memorably from a razor sharp tongue.

You did not share but Im sure she possesses many fine qualities you admire.

2. Your children share her gene and if you have daughters in them you will see her as they grow older.

Praise publicly, scold privately! Give a second chance.

It's time to reconcile with your mother in law. Chalk off that one incidence as ego, a product of her own strict upbringing. Call her, tell her you will be coming to town with her grandchildren and want you and her to go out and have fun with the kids. When you visit and are outside of the home bring her back to that day and that moment two years ago and tell her you are still hurting.

Once the blockage is cleansed your relationship with your husband and in laws will have a new dynamic and positivity. Cherish what you have now. There is no prince out there looking for a mother of two to marry.

budaatum:
2 likes for the quality of writing, 3 likes for the sense

One night some girl and some guy were going to a party but had an accident and couldn't go anymore so they went to her house and she called the guy's mama.

"Mama", she said. "We had an accident"
"Hehn!" Said mama. "Is anybody hurt?"
"No mama".
"Olorun seun" said mama. "Come now and finish my hair my dear", and mama put the phone down.
The girl turned to the guy, " Mama said I should come do her hair".
Guy looked at clock and yelled, "Hell no"! And they went to bed.

The next morning, they got up early and went to the guy's house where mama stays, and as soon as they entered, mama ripped! "What time is this? Why didn't you come last night? Is that how you disrespect your mother?! And you want to marry my son!?"

On hearing his mama, the guy said, "Mama mi, it was two o'clock in the morning! It would have taken us 2 hours to get here!" But mama was having none of it and ripped some more till eventually, the guy ripped too!

"Would you ask my sister your own daughter to travel at that time?" And mama's response brought thunder.
"This is my house!" He said to his mama. If you cannot be civil to my friend and live in my house by my rules, then get out!"

Mama think say na joke. Every morning the guy would wake up and say, "Good morning mama mi. Are you still here? I want you to leave my house please!" And three weeks later, mama moved out, and the girl and guy got married a year later with mama's blessings.

A year to the day after they were married, the wife and husband were returning from the home office where the wife had just been given Indefinite Leave to Remain when she said, "It's been a while since I have been home to see my mother, I'd like to go and see her". So they arranged for her to go and she was gone for a month. And when she returned, she said she wanted a divorce, "your mama, your mama, your mama!" And they divorced.

She went on to have two beautiful daughters who are now married themselves, while mama is still praying that her 60 year old only son find a suitable woman to give her grandchildren.

I think you have the patience and wisdom to deal with this. You calmly presented your case and I believe you remain calm when dealing with mama hence the 3 likes. I think you should have moved on when he refused to defend you. You should have told him off big time when he didn't and got him to commit to defending you from attack. What if it were an outsider, would he have said nothing then too?! Talk to him about it now.

The two star is for not living with her and for keeping her in a different state. That's bold! She has not changed. You saw it when she spoke to her husband who must have put up with her as long as her oldest child has lived. Don't go there! If she and her son move to your state, its probably time to move states unless you get that commitment from him to defend you from her in writing! And it likely would be worth less than the ink its written in! A commitment from her would be worth more, but I think that's wishing on a star territory.

I'll be rooting for you. Remain strong.



2 like! Plus 3 like now that I've read it.

Please I don't understand this story it seems something is missing. Pls what happened after the marriage?

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

let him move in with you and your children in the house you live in and then his parents can stay in his house in ML. All he really needs to do is send weekly/monthly upkeep money for them and visit them once in a while.

Acidosis:
When a man agrees to the equal submission nonsense in the home, sons and daughters from that home end up becoming "mama's boys and girls". To all those denying their husbands the "head-ship" authority, brace up for war with your daughter in-laws. You can't eat your cake and have it too.

Your father in-law is a weak man and the root cause of the problems you currently face. He's too weak to put his wife under authority. She's first a wife before becoming a MIL.She failed as a wife, of course, she's going to fail as a MIL too. She "conquered" her husband, of course, she'll always "conquer" her son too.

In so far as your husband remains the son to your MIL, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Your FIL is the ONLY solution to your problem.

Whatever you think you know about the word 'submission' is wrong. You are quick to call the father a weak man because he could not stamp his authority on the case and 'command' his wife to behave herself. Headship changed the moment the MIL assumed the breadwinner of the home. While you are huffing and puffing over who conquered who and won't come out victorious, understand that it is your place as a man to provide and take care of your home. You lose your ground the moment you fail to do this.

I hope I Tim5:8 is still in your Bible.

But where is dominique sef

America lovers sef

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

Let him do his worse, last last him go pay child support taya, no be New York? Him eye go clear. I really stay away from anyone that call themselves nurses or doctors in USA , they and their families are full Of themselves. There are few exceptions though.

The only advice I can give is be careful and I think maybe she overreacted but just be watchful and prayerful . If you didn’t feel like going you are right to we’ve all had events people have canceled on it does make us love them any less

Also why are you taking what his mum said as a grudge against your husband he is just suggesting an affordable option since your family is still young you may need the help when he is divulged in work

Biggermembersro:
Some people's sole aim in this world is to provoke people intentionally, I am a "slow to react to anger" kind of person and I always stay in my lane and mind my business, once I smell trouble coming from afar, I run to the opposite direction as fast as my leg can carry me, I come from a tribe where you have to respect elders no matter the situation same as what my Bible says so what gives abeg.......


My husband always praise his mum cos she trained him to med school here in U.S.A, of course who wouldn't just like I don't joke with my dad cos he did well for his six kids, so he adores his mum, praises her in every situation, always at her beck and call, I didn't see it as a big deal cos, well, it's his mum, we met here in NY, he and his family stay in Maryland while I was schooling in NY, the plan was when we get married I'll go back and forth till I finish school then move to Maryland, so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is, so one of those days i went to ML for the weekend one time, during that period, his mum had a get together so everyone is expected to be there, being in my first trimester, I was sick and told her I can't be there, she insisted and I told her I'll try, when the time came I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen" that is exactly what she said, I was shocked, my husband was there looking he didn't say anything, his father was there, he shouted at her that why would she say something like that, his mum shut him down saying all manner of unsayable things because she was more like the breadwinner, his sister, that one cannot talk if not the mother will insult her very existence just because she got pregnant out of wedlock but she still married the father ooo, me, my mouth was open, I couldn't talk cos I dont even know what to say, when they left hubby didnt even try to ease my mind or anything, the next day I jejely left for NY, vowing that my leg will never step into ML anymore.

Sincerely I was tempted to abort and divorce my husband because I don't understand how someone can say evil like that, even if it was a joke, that was nonsense, since then I've been in NY, I gave birth here, Dre has been the one coming here, it's not like me and his mum don't talk, she calls and we talk, sometimes I call too, all for recently, infact last week Dre says he got an opening for a job here and he wants to take it, I blatantly told him NO, because his parents couldnt work anymore due to health and all so they are staying with him in ML, him moving here means his mum will do that too, I told him no that I like things the way they are, no issues, nothing, I cannot stay in the same house with his mum because we will have issues that one is certain, he started shouting, I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago, he now said it is the past, which past? Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her, call me delusional the instinct of a mother is to protect her children, even if she may not do anything, we will still have issues and I don't want that before someone say I'm disrespectful when I talk back.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission, but no, I won't tell him that, some of their laws here is stupid to be honest and I'm a nice person and I was born and bred in the north in Nigeria also I don't want to escalate issue, I am the only one here, my family is in Nigeria and i never mentioned any of this to them so it won't turn to family issues, now he's not talking to me saying he will take drastic measures, it will not pass divorce and custody battle of which I know I will win but I don't want that for my kids, they need their parents in the same home not divorced, my own is he should stay where he is and take care of his parents and continue worshiping his mum, is it that hard?

I dey vex abeg, pls advice on other options fam.

I support you on this!!!

A man still tied to his mum apron strings is not a real man!!!

What struck me was the way the mum treated her husband...we men take care of our wives with no complaints but if the reverse is the case,they rain hellfire down on us. Ain't we supposed to be partners and support each other??
This marriage thing taya me o,honestly

crackhaus:

Nothing.

Only a certified witch can speak things like that. Little wonder she has successfully subdued everyone (husband, daughter, and son).

This is not even about the son not being able to stand up to his mother. Obviously, no one in that house is able to stand up to that woman which makes me wonder why folks are making it seem like it's the son's fault.

@biggermembersro, turn 'American' on them if that's what you need to do.
Only the death of your MIL or divine intervention can restore some semblance of normalcy in that their family. I bet more on the former.

Cheers...

85% of African MIL's can make such utterance. The only thing I figured is there is no hate between MIL and op which is good.

Op has a lot of rules she has to break or bend. Someone has to compromise. If your plans are no longer working, allow your man make the decisions.

If you worry yourself and get high bp and die. Give him 2months, you will be replaced. Let your husband be the man. He married you! You are already acting like his mama, so watch it!

properties4sale:


You don't have single sense!!! I just hate this... Tufiakwa..
This is my issue, all this marriage nonsense, so because the mum said something 2 years ago and its over. .. Abeg, make una go sit down.
Your MIL, is the breadwinner, she can stay where she is, and ur husband join u.

Non sense and ingredient

[quote author=budaatum post=79114978]2 likes for the quality of writing, 3 likes for the sense

One night some girl and some guy were going to a party but had an accident and couldn't go anymore so they went to her house and she called the guy's mama.

"Mama", she said. "We had an accident"
"Hehn!" Said mama. "Is anybody hurt?"
"No mama".
"Olorun seun" said mama. "Come now and finish my hair my dear", and mama put the phone down.
The girl turned to the guy, " Mama said I should come do her hair".
Guy looked at clock and yelled, "Hell no"! And they went to bed.

The next morning, they got up early and went to the guy's house where mama stays, and as soon as they entered, mama ripped! "What time is this? Why didn't you come last night? Is that how you disrespect your mother?! And you want to marry my son!?"

On hearing his mama, the guy said, "Mama mi, it was two o'clock in the morning! It would have taken us 2 hours to get here!" But mama was having none of it and ripped some more till eventually, the guy ripped too!

"Would you ask my sister your own daughter to travel at that time?" And mama's response brought thunder.
"This is my house!" He said to his mama. If you cannot be civil to my friend and live in my house by my rules, then get out!"

Mama think say na joke. Every morning the guy would wake up and say, "Good morning mama mi. Are you still here? I want you to leave my house please!" And three weeks later, mama moved out, and the girl and guy got married a year later with mama's blessings.

A year to the day after they were married, the wife and husband were returning from the home office where the wife had just been given Indefinite Leave to Remain when she said, "It's been a while since I have been home to see my mother, I'd like to go and see her". So they arranged for her to go and she was gone for a month. And when she returned, she said she wanted a divorce, "your mama, your mama, your mama!" And they divorced.

She went on to have two beautiful daughters who are now married themselves, while mama is still praying that her 60 year old only son find a suitable woman to give her grandchildren.

I think you have the patience and wisdom to deal with this. You calmly presented your case and I believe you remain calm when dealing with mama hence the 3 likes. I think you should have moved on when he refused to defend you. You should have told him off big time when he didn't and got him to commit to defending you from attack. What if it were an outsider, would he have said nothing then too?! Talk to him about it now.

The two star is for not living with her and for keeping her in a different state. That's bold! She has not changed. You saw it when she spoke to her husband who must have put up with her as long as her oldest child has lived. Don't go there! If she and her son move to your state, its probably time to move states unless you get that commitment from him to defend you from her in writing! And it likely would be worth less than the ink its written in! A commitment from her would be worth more, but I think that's wishing on a star territory.

I'll be rooting for you. Remain strong.






Nice one... A very wise input....

so I took in, you know first pregnancy how difficult it is

Er, no.
All the first pregnancies I’ve come across were carried as a thing of pride.
I once knew a woman around 21 - 23 who men continuously begged to relax during pregnancy because she still carried out athletic movements despite being heavily pregnant.
This was her third or fourth pregnancy, mind you.
I’m guessing you’re on the older side of womanhood.

I was too ill to go anywhere so I didn't go, all for his mum to come later that night and was shouting saying and I quote "when I tell my son your husband to run he will run, even if I tell him to jump he will do just that so who are you to tell me you can't come, what silly sickness, if I blow that your belly, highest is you'll loose the pregnancy and then take in again,nothing is going to happen.

This is a combination of many things:
1. A loss of pride at you not coming. She felt slighted that you didn’t bother to come regardless of your illness.

2. An understanding of how first pregnancies are easy for most women so she feels you made up whatever the situation is because you do not want to see her.
She was probably a young mother her first time so has no idea how difficult it is for older females when pregnant.

3. Envy that you have taken away her only son.
Her words about losing the pregnancy have a hidden clause that he will instead replace you.
This is my mind filling holes and I hope I am wrong.

4. An understanding of US laws.
If she truly performed the action nothing will happen because of how their laws protect female aggressors compared to males.

I reminded him of what his mother said two years ago

Now, you’re just being petty.
A defenceless foetus is different from a two year old who can scream their lungs out and attract attention.
You being a woman know how wild emotions can get hence her utterance back then.

Why does he still live with them to begin with?
Doesn’t he have his own independence?
How old is this guy, 18?
Two of you should go house hunting and sign a legal document where he agrees to not bring his parents in for longer than a few months or weeks.
They are meant to have their own accommodation.
It seems he is not fully ready for independence.

Now that I'm working I am expected to leave my babies with her

If there’s one thing Mexicans are good at it’s menial labour.
You’re based in the US, hire Consuela to babysit your kid(s).
If your MIL wants to see her grandchild(ren) it will happen only during visits with you by their side.

If I decide to turn American now, I'll just tell him he can't bring anyone here without my permission

Keep this as a last resort.
Let everyone around see you put in effort to bear with the situation before going full-akata.

In conclusion, I don’t see why you’re pushing your husband away due to his mother’s actions.
The marriage is meant for both of you and not six (partners and in-laws from both sides).
You believe his mother deserves a leash then you and your husband should go house hunting and sign the legal agreement.
If you keep pushing the man away that nightmare of becoming a single mother will fully manifest.
You should sit him down and suggest to hire a babysitter since if he starts working in NY you and him will stay busy during the daytime.
Do not go full akata on the situation yet because you will lose in the end.
Most of those women are as good as useless because they abuse the law and eventually chase the man away — negatively affecting the children.

That’s all the advice I can give on the situation.
Give a mention and I might think up more suggestions.