tolani91:
Hello all. I am Tolani. I live and work in Italy. I shared my relocation experience from Nigeria on a previous thread. For reference, you can check here
https://www.nairaland.com/5089540/how-selling-cars-helped-me

I am in a dilemma now. I need your help with advice. Some months ago, I met a lady here. She's Italian. In April, we started dating. The problem is that I have always had the intention to come back to Nigeria to marry. Like come back to marry a yoruba girl like me. But this girl is Italian. And she told me she wants to settle down. Specifically, she wants to settled down with me. She's young. Not those old mama Nigerians marry for papers. I did not really bother about her settling down goal. In my mind, we will just date and rest later. But her character is giving me confusion. She's a real lady.

See what happened recently that busted my brain. There's this 5 star hotel she always wished to go and relax. I had a good week. Sold 2 cars. So I decided to give her a threat. I told her I will take her there last Friday. She accepted. We lodged on Friday together. The hotel was dope. On Saturday, time to checkout, I told her that I budgeted for just one night. We should be going. She said no she wants to stay till Monday. I said I didn't budget for 3 nights till Monday. Just for Friday night. She said I should not worry. She called reception and paid for 2 more nights. Since Saturday till now, we are still at the hotel. She has being attending to the bills.

I think you get the picture of her kind of person now. I am considering following her wish and settling with her. But one mind wants me to follow my initial wish of coming back home to pick a yoruba sister.

Please I need your advice. Help me with matured advice please.

I am sharing a pic I took for her at the hotel this afternoon. The hotel is really cool.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Yea, Naija babes are excellent at swallowing fvckups for fear if what the society would say or how she'd fend for herself eh...

GrabHisBalls:
I would've done exactly what she did with my man, the right resources and if time permits. Wifying me 'cause of that would be your choice. So, op, what's your problem again?

babyfaceafrica:
she seems independent and good.. but I am always wary of white female..they can do and undo if u mess up,they are less forgiving than naija ladies

AwkaetitiBabe:
So are you indirectly saying a Nigerian lady can't do same
So because she paid for 2 extra nights, she's now a wife material?


Marty her o but don't come crying about feminism or being a sitting duck in your own home

ibkayee:
You aren't interested in settling down with her for the right reasons so don't waste her time and then end up absconding back to Nigeria for another wife

Fountainofyouth:
Ok so because she decided to pay for two more nights automatically means she has the 100%ticks for marriage? You didn't mention character, ethics, 5 year plan, intelligence, nothing, you chose instead to show us a hotel room that can be anywhere, even in Naija and a blurry picture of God knows who, so that what? We should tell you kudos and go ahead, I for one wouldn't tell you that, instead I'll tell you the obvious truth, YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE, not even close.

blissgregory:
If u can meet up wit her demand marry her.But if u cant,d case is d reverse

AwkaetitiBabe:
Compare the two societies, compare the culture, compare the economic infrastructures in place.

At one time European women depended solely on their men for survival, they were relegated to the kitchen without a voice.

Personally I think Nigeria will get there if things get better economically.

cr7lomo:

Na dem

Fountainofyouth:



Because the Nigerian gal forcefully collected the tfare from you at gun point abi? Swallow the bile coming out of your mouth.

tolani91:
Hello all. I am Tolani. I live and work in Italy. I shared my relocation experience from Nigeria on a previous thread. For reference, you can check here
https://www.nairaland.com/5089540/how-selling-cars-helped-me

I am in a dilemma now. I need your help with advice. Some months ago, I met a lady here. She's Italian. In April, we started dating. The problem is that I have always had the intention to come back to Nigeria to marry. Like come back to marry a yoruba girl like me. But this girl is Italian. And she told me she wants to settle down. Specifically, she wants to settled down with me. She's young. Not those old mama Nigerians marry for papers. I did not really bother about her settling down goal. In my mind, we will just date and rest later. But her character is giving me confusion. She's a real lady.

See what happened recently that busted my brain. There's this 5 star hotel she always wished to go and relax. I had a good week. Sold 2 cars. So I decided to give her a threat. I told her I will take her there last Friday. She accepted. We lodged on Friday together. The hotel was dope. On Saturday, time to checkout, I told her that I budgeted for just one night. We should be going. She said no she wants to stay till Monday. I said I didn't budget for 3 nights till Monday. Just for Friday night. She said I should not worry. She called reception and paid for 2 more nights. Since Saturday till now, we are still at the hotel. She has being attending to the bills.

I think you get the picture of her kind of person now. I am considering following her wish and settling with her. But one mind wants me to follow my initial wish of coming back home to pick a yoruba sister.

Please I need your advice. Help me with matured advice please.

I am sharing a pic I took for her at the hotel this afternoon. The hotel is really cool.

ifex370:
Loooooooooooool.. To come and marry a Yoruba girl..


When God wants to bless you but village people are using your picture to fan corn.

carter009:
I bet you, you will never do this, even you have billions in your account.

pansophist:


Just as men were relegated to the field slaving away their life, risking their health and engaging in fatal jobs that left many dead, disabled, permanently sick, just to provide for their family, including the wife, so what's your point? Seeing women working from home historically as ''relegation'' is sickening, it is a misunderstanding of history and a talking line of feminist that makes people with common sense never take them seriously.

Present-day Nigeria is economically harsh to both men and women, and somehow, men still try to survive and cater to women who in many cases, are an extra burden on them. No lady in good conscience can say that the reason why she is a leech is that the Nigerian economy did not permit her to make her own money. If Nigeria is a country where women ain't permitted to engage in economic activities, and their right not enshrined in the constitution, then I see the point, but it is not.

Any lady that is a leech is simply a leech, do not excuse, justify or try to somehow absolve them from the responsibility of taking care of themselves. Also, do not blame their parasitic behavior on externalities such as the economy, government, men, etc. A leech is a leech, as simple as that.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Perhaps relegation wasn't the right word to use. It will take time for people to break out of that culture of looking up to the man for their needs. Isn't it possible these ladies see their fathers providing all for their mothers and subconsciously feel a man should provide theirs?

J111333:
I have recently realized that going back home to marry one imaginary virtuous Nigerian woman is making a fool of one's self. I've tried to so many times but one thing or the other seemed not to make it happen.

Wherever you find love, go for it bro. Since you now live in a civilized world, you guys can always understand each other.

pansophist:


Using your same logic, isn't it possible that men saw their mothers giving their father sex and subconsciously feel a woman should give it to them? if this doesn't make any sense to you, then that's exactly I feel with your logic.

So far, you are still absolving Nigerian women of their responsibility to be financially independent. you seem to pamper women's leechy attitude and attribute it to external factors. I think we can both agree that a woman knows the difference between her father and other men. I also want to believe that she knows that the responsibility of her father towards her is not the responsibility of other men. If not, then you are inadvertently admitting that women are dumb and can't differentiate that a man owes her nothing.

So tell me (in the context of a non-conjugal relationship), what exactly has to be done, and how long more will it take for women to understand that men do not want to bear their responsibilities, that men owe them nothing, just as women owe no man sex? Women are quick to denounce their contempt for fvckboys, but somehow, go around and justify why they should continue to leech on men. It is hypocritical.

damzy88:
I have been considering this lately. I don't know maybe it is only me. I don't think it is worth going back to Nigeria to find a wife once you have left.

AwkaetitiBabe:
The sad truth is, as long as men continue to demand sex, ladies will continue to try to use that to their advantage in getting material things needed. Personally, I prefer a mutually beneficial relationship. Relationships ought not to be a competition between the two sexes.

pansophist:


Even men that are not demanding for sex are being tasked with a financial burden, so what's your point?

A thread few days on the romance section got men describing how ladies were asking them for iPhone, and other ridiculous demands on first dates, or when they are in the meet-up phase. You just can't wrap your head around the fact that many ladies choose to be leeches, and it's not because of some external factors. Also, where is women's honor? isn't it prostitution for a woman to exchange sex for material gain?

Furthermore, why is sex seen as a bargaining chip, when it an act that both engaged in consensually? every time you try to put the blame of female parasitic behaviours on externalities, you unknowingly shot yourself in the foot, because no matter how you slice it, it is unjustifiable and exposes the biases in your reasoning (lack of responsibility).

AwkaetitiBabe:
Yea, Naija babes are excellent at swallowing fvckups for fear if what the society would say or how she'd fend for herself eh...

MJBOLT:

marry the italian lady then travel back to nigeria and marry a yoruba lady

Safitu:
What is this obsession with going home to marry, when all day everyday you guys always complain about naija babes? I don’t understand it. You have independent babes in front of you, yet you still desire these so called leeches that you despise so much? Looool pitiful.

Regiomontanus:
Why are you too defensive and getting personal? It is not everything you respond to and you mustn't always prove a point. You can't change everyone.

Just cool down and come relax in my yacht. Nigeria is stressful, you know? any of my four yachts would come in handy. You need to take some time off from the stress and come relax with daddy(me) - you deserve it.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Its not worth it. Why waste all that resources? Marry a white and secure your future. I'd do same without looking back

Fountainofyouth:



Because the Nigerian gal forcefully collected the tfare from you at gun point abi? Swallow the bile coming out of your mouth.

kraayfeesh:



No, they won't collect it from us forcefully but most of you thinks its ypur birthright to be given tfare so we will also do good to give it to you to guarantee another visit from you and also boost our ego and dominance over you!!!