₦airaland Forum

Holycity:
most ladies here are supporting her
I don't know why but dragging a guy was not even in relationships with you is wrong first he is not convinced that the baby she is carrying is he's...
I could say for sure that she is a Gold digger and someone who desperate for marriage

she saw the guy as potential husband material

I could also say they never dated. he was not her boyfriend if he was she would av know he was married except she was too dump to notice it, beside people can talk, she would have heard it somewhere

she dont know any member of his family or where he's from or even his friends which also mean he was not her boyfriend
if he was her boyfriend the story would have be different even the guy parent would have taken responsibility if he's refusing knowing you were his girl


now she met him 40 not married, and no serious relationship and maybe saw on facebook where he is working and wanted to key it...
his live-in girl left him, she was happy and maybe thought that the guy sent the lady away because of her. so she decided to have a baby for him since he has not been married and doesn't have any children.....

she had 101 chance not to get pregnant
first the guy did not rape her which means she should av insisted on "NO SEX WITHOUT CONDOM" if she say that maybe the guy would have look for condoms or there will be no sex.
secondly she said the guy gave her 2k, if she did not want the pregnancy morning after pills is #100 over the counter
thirdly when she discovered she was pregnant maybe in weeks time or probably a month she would have gotten rid of it with pills over the counter at that time the child is not form yet


she knows about all this things that am saying because if this is her first pregnancy then she has been doing one or more of the above listed to keep herself from unwanted pregnancy but this time she didn't do anything because she wanted the baby....

am also fixing myself in the guy shoes, the guy don't want the baby maybe because it was a one night stand and he thinks the baby may not be his....

all of you that are saying he should take responsibility of the child. if a notorious girl in your street cums out to tell you that your brother is responsible for her pregnancy will you believe... no right
judge for yourself

Holycity:
most ladies here are supporting her
I don't know why but dragging a guy was not even in relationships with you is wrong first he is not convinced that the baby she is carrying is he's...
I could say for sure that she is a Gold digger and someone who desperate for marriage

she saw the guy as potential husband material

I could also say they never dated. he was not her boyfriend if he was she would av know he was married except she was too dump to notice it, beside people can talk, she would have heard it somewhere

she dont know any member of his family or where he's from or even his friends which also mean he was not her boyfriend
if he was her boyfriend the story would have be different even the guy parent would have taken responsibility if he's refusing knowing you were his girl


now she met him 40 not married, and no serious relationship and maybe saw on facebook where he is working and wanted to key it...
his live-in girl left him, she was happy and maybe thought that the guy sent the lady away because of her. so she decided to have a baby for him since he has not been married and doesn't have any children.....

she had 101 chance not to get pregnant
first the guy did not rape her which means she should av insisted on "NO SEX WITHOUT CONDOM" if she say that maybe the guy would have look for condoms or there will be no sex.
secondly she said the guy gave her 2k, if she did not want the pregnancy morning after pills is #100 over the counter
thirdly when she discovered she was pregnant maybe in weeks time or probably a month she would have gotten rid of it with pills over the counter at that time the child is not form yet


she knows about all this things that am saying because if this is her first pregnancy then she has been doing one or more of the above listed to keep herself from unwanted pregnancy but this time she didn't do anything because she wanted the baby....

am also fixing myself in the guy shoes, the guy don't want the baby maybe because it was a one night stand and he thinks the baby may not be his....

all of you that are saying he should take responsibility of the child. if a notorious girl in your street cums out to tell you that your brother is responsible for her pregnancy will you believe... no right
judge for yourself

DBestDoc:
That Lady you quoted and called a dumbo just told you the truth, albeit rather harsh with her usage of words.

People are refusing to say things exactly as they are just so they don't come off as judgemental but trust me, the result may be three kids for three different men if we keep hiding the truth. Oh yes!

The Nigerian society doesn't favour women in any way, from the youngest of us to the oldest so it's our duty to protect ourselves in every possible ways we can, emotionally, physically etc. Being in a relationship shouldn't make you lose your sense of reasoning and self preservation.
If you were living in an organized society, the law would sort you out and that would be a different kettle of fish altogether and Of course you wouldn't be on Nairaland posting this Crap. Yeah, this is bullshi.t and crap.

It's Bullshi.t because you totally planned this out and unfortunately, it's a plan gone wrong. The public pric.k is 40 and single aha? but that doesn't mean he's a father material or even ready to be one or married and you went ahead to take your chances anyways.

He had a live in girlfriend(who was smart enough to not fall pregnant) whom you knew about but you still went on to play.

You caught him whoring with three different women and you still didn't leave. At least, you would have borrowed a leaf from the live in girlfriend that left him because of you, but you didn't. You clearly had a mission to achieve.

He still brought his public peni.s into your Vagin.a (which you clearly don't respect) and you didn't make him use a Condom. You weren't scared of contracting some incurables from him. Wow!

The 'morning after pills' would have saved the day even after all the intentional 'mistakes' but you again chose not to use it.

Women make this 'intentional mistake' for one of three reasons; to have a baby of their own with or without the involvement of the father. These women see and treat the pregnancy as a gift, they have the means and are happy to take care of the kid all by themselves. The idea of being able to have their own babies whether or not marriage happens is their motivation.These ones are the wise sisters, they don't go embarrassing themselves because they know what they want.

The second category are the ones that tie a man to marriage with pregnancy. It works for a lot of sisters but some others get their fingers burnt and their lives altered forever.

The third category are the ones that want some extra cash from Child support. This is a mistake in Nigeria as you'll spend more in time, energy and money trying to get some kobo that isn't worth the hard Labour The law will work for you abroad and you could get an extra coins from the government for the upkeep of your kids
The last group are the genuinely ignorant and innocent sisters who were deeply in love with a man, got sweet talked and lied to and mistakenly fell for the lies and got pregnant. These ones, i feel some pity for 'cause they never saw it coming.

You know which category you fit in but my advise is that you let it go. The deed has been done, pregnancy has advanced and you got an amazing gift from God already. You said money is no problem and you can pay people's salaries on here so, save yourself this stress and channel all energy to welcoming your gift and giving it a good life.

Forget about that man, he's a dead beat and very irresponsible. If you want to stress yourself fighting him, you'd be doing your mental and physical health no good as High BP may set in. The agencies and lawyers you're calling on will not do you much good. An order will be given that he pays the Child support but paying it regularly may not be achieved.

This guy rejected this pregnancy from the start, forget about him. If in the future he decides to come take responsibility, that would be fine. Let your family and friends channel all their resources towards you and your baby because you'd need as much support as you can get. Being a single mum isn't a walk in the park and that phase of your life will begin soon.

This is just an opinion and you may decide not to take it. Any quotes with insults will not be dignified with a response. i'm a very busy person but i took out time to write this here. Maybe some girls planning on using this 'intentional mistake' method may reconsider because it hardly ends well. The exact advise i'd give to my flesh and blood.

I sincerely wish you all the best!

DBestDoc:
That Lady you quoted and called a dumbo just told you the truth, albeit rather harsh with her usage of words.

People are refusing to say things exactly as they are just so they don't come off as judgemental but trust me, the result may be three kids for three different men if we keep hiding the truth. Oh yes!

The Nigerian society doesn't favour women in any way, from the youngest of us to the oldest so it's our duty to protect ourselves in every possible ways we can, emotionally, physically etc. Being in a relationship shouldn't make you lose your sense of reasoning and self preservation.
If you were living in an organized society, the law would sort you out and that would be a different kettle of fish altogether and Of course you wouldn't be on Nairaland posting this Crap. Yeah, this is bullshi.t and crap.

It's Bullshi.t because you totally planned this out and unfortunately, it's a plan gone wrong. The public pric.k is 40 and single aha? but that doesn't mean he's a father material or even ready to be one or married and you went ahead to take your chances anyways.

He had a live in girlfriend(who was smart enough to not fall pregnant) whom you knew about but you still went on to play.

You caught him whoring with three different women and you still didn't leave. At least, you would have borrowed a leaf from the live in girlfriend that left him because of you, but you didn't. You clearly had a mission to achieve.

He still brought his public peni.s into your Vagin.a (which you clearly don't respect) and you didn't make him use a Condom. You weren't scared of contracting some incurables from him. Wow!

The 'morning after pills' would have saved the day even after all the intentional 'mistakes' but you again chose not to use it.

Women make this 'intentional mistake' for one of three reasons; to have a baby of their own with or without the involvement of the father. These women see and treat the pregnancy as a gift, they have the means and are happy to take care of the kid all by themselves. The idea of being able to have their own babies whether or not marriage happens is their motivation.These ones are the wise sisters, they don't go embarrassing themselves because they know what they want.

The second category are the ones that tie a man to marriage with pregnancy. It works for a lot of sisters but some others get their fingers burnt and their lives altered forever.

The third category are the ones that want some extra cash from Child support. This is a mistake in Nigeria as you'll spend more in time, energy and money trying to get some kobo that isn't worth the hard Labour The law will work for you abroad and you could get an extra coins from the government for the upkeep of your kids
The last group are the genuinely ignorant and innocent sisters who were deeply in love with a man, got sweet talked and lied to and mistakenly fell for the lies and got pregnant. These ones, i feel some pity for 'cause they never saw it coming.

You know which category you fit in but my advise is that you let it go. The deed has been done, pregnancy has advanced and you got an amazing gift from God already. You said money is no problem and you can pay people's salaries on here so, save yourself this stress and channel all energy to welcoming your gift and giving it a good life.

Forget about that man, he's a dead beat and very irresponsible. If you want to stress yourself fighting him, you'd be doing your mental and physical health no good as High BP may set in. The agencies and lawyers you're calling on will not do you much good. An order will be given that he pays the Child support but paying it regularly may not be achieved.

This guy rejected this pregnancy from the start, forget about him. If in the future he decides to come take responsibility, that would be fine. Let your family and friends channel all their resources towards you and your baby because you'd need as much support as you can get. Being a single mum isn't a walk in the park and that phase of your life will begin soon.

This is just an opinion and you may decide not to take it. Any quotes with insults will not be dignified with a response. i'm a very busy person but i took out time to write this here. Maybe some girls planning on using this 'intentional mistake' method may reconsider because it hardly ends well. The exact advise i'd give to my flesh and blood.

I sincerely wish you all the best!

TV01:
Sister B how far? Good to hear from you. How's family?

Ah! See the thread you mentioned me on


TV

bukatyne:
We are good thanks.
I would look for a befitting thread to mention you.
You just disappeared from NL.

liberalchick:
Bless you. I was about to type all this. So let me add. She can also go to OPD in Yaba. I have already made contact with a lawyer there (a friend). My friend said she should just take care of herself, have the baby then she can file. The court will demand he submits to a DNA test, if he refuses, she gets a default judgement.

Since he works with the Lagos State Government, his wages can be garnished and remitted to her.

OP, check your inbox.

DBestDoc:
That Lady you quoted and called a dumbo just told you the truth, albeit rather harsh with her usage of words.

People are refusing to say things exactly as they are just so they don't come off as judgemental but trust me, the result may be three kids for three different men if we keep hiding the truth. Oh yes!

The Nigerian society doesn't favour women in any way, from the youngest of us to the oldest so it's our duty to protect ourselves in every possible ways we can, emotionally, physically etc. Being in a relationship shouldn't make you lose your sense of reasoning and self preservation.
If you were living in an organized society, the law would sort you out and that would be a different kettle of fish altogether and Of course you wouldn't be on Nairaland posting this Crap. Yeah, this is bullshi.t and crap.

It's Bullshi.t because you totally planned this out and unfortunately, it's a plan gone wrong. The public pric.k is 40 and single aha? but that doesn't mean he's a father material or even ready to be one or married and you went ahead to take your chances anyways.

He had a live in girlfriend(who was smart enough to not fall pregnant) whom you knew about but you still went on to play.

You caught him whoring with three different women and you still didn't leave. At least, you would have borrowed a leaf from the live in girlfriend that left him because of you, but you didn't. You clearly had a mission to achieve.

He still brought his public peni.s into your Vagin.a (which you clearly don't respect) and you didn't make him use a Condom. You weren't scared of contracting some incurables from him. Wow!

The 'morning after pills' would have saved the day even after all the intentional 'mistakes' but you again chose not to use it.

Women make this 'intentional mistake' for one of three reasons; to have a baby of their own with or without the involvement of the father. These women see and treat the pregnancy as a gift, they have the means and are happy to take care of the kid all by themselves. The idea of being able to have their own babies whether or not marriage happens is their motivation.These ones are the wise sisters, they don't go embarrassing themselves because they know what they want.

The second category are the ones that tie a man to marriage with pregnancy. It works for a lot of sisters but some others get their fingers burnt and their lives altered forever.

The third category are the ones that want some extra cash from Child support. This is a mistake in Nigeria as you'll spend more in time, energy and money trying to get some kobo that isn't worth the hard Labour The law will work for you abroad and you could get an extra coins from the government for the upkeep of your kids
The last group are the genuinely ignorant and innocent sisters who were deeply in love with a man, got sweet talked and lied to and mistakenly fell for the lies and got pregnant. These ones, i feel some pity for 'cause they never saw it coming.

You know which category you fit in but my advise is that you let it go. The deed has been done, pregnancy has advanced and you got an amazing gift from God already. You said money is no problem and you can pay people's salaries on here so, save yourself this stress and channel all energy to welcoming your gift and giving it a good life.

Forget about that man, he's a dead beat and very irresponsible. If you want to stress yourself fighting him, you'd be doing your mental and physical health no good as High BP may set in. The agencies and lawyers you're calling on will not do you much good. An order will be given that he pays the Child support but paying it regularly may not be achieved.

This guy rejected this pregnancy from the start, forget about him. If in the future he decides to come take responsibility, that would be fine. Let your family and friends channel all their resources towards you and your baby because you'd need as much support as you can get. Being a single mum isn't a walk in the park and that phase of your life will begin soon.

This is just an opinion and you may decide not to take it. Any quotes with insults will not be dignified with a response. i'm a very busy person but i took out time to write this here. Maybe some girls planning on using this 'intentional mistake' method may reconsider because it hardly ends well. The exact advise i'd give to my flesh and blood.

I sincerely wish you all the best!

how does a man take part in the responsibility of birth control beyond condoms? am i to follow my one night stand around demanding oya, have you taken your morning after pill? with the risk of pregnancy, and the fact that [as is the case here] the bulk of issues lie with the woman, shouldn't any woman, no matter the case , insist on condoms? if i recall women are more at risk as far as contracting stds is concerned.

i am all for female emancipation etal, and that means taking responsibility for your business

as a woman, there are some guys you will get it on with - no one will tell you to use morning after pill if there was no protection - you will just look at the guy and know that you do not want to spend the rest of your life tied to this guy in that way.

isn't the whole abortion \birth control debate about women's ownership and control of their bodies?

are we thus ceding control of women's bodies back to men?

the issue i keep seeing, unfortunately is women do not always want the responsibility that comes with emancipation. in the end we are fully responsible for our own lives and our own choices. if this fellow in this case is hit by a bus tomorrow, what happens?

crackhaus:
Lmao.. You probably didn't realize the question I asked you has no right answer. Either way you answer it (and I'm pretty sure you thought hard before typing your response), it still reveals the inherent flaw in the psyche of women who demand the right to have choices, but are not ready to handle the outcomes of those choices.
You guys will remain your own worst enemies if you don't look for a way to accept responsibility for the outcomes of the choices and rights you fight for.


Let me break down your response for you:
1. You met a man unknown to you he was married...you became enthralled, he said the right words, turned on your spirit animal and lied his way into your pants - up until the point you took off your undies, you made all the choices. We should also note that lying isn't a convictable offense. Even you will lie sometimes in your day to day life. The man who successfully got into you by lying about his marital status outwitted you. your choice again to allow yourself to be outwitted.

2. Man invites you over to his place or you invite him over to your place - either way, you made your choice to be alone with him.

3. Man starts all those tested & trusted sweet moves that nature made sure will always work on women once the punaní starts throbbing, then sex happened - another choice you made.

4. In the heat of the moment, man didn't use protection and you didn't ask for one, or maybe you did but of course the punaní is throbbing hard and doing most of your thinking, so you couldn't be bothered...after all, you can take the pills or so you thought IF you had no ulterior motives- you have made choices again.

5. One month later, you discover you're carrying. You inform sweet-talking married expert game player and he tells you, hey I don't want a baby, we have to get rid of it. You tell him NO WAY, I'm keeping it - you have made this choice on your own, forgetting that this G after becoming a part of the unborn child's life when he didn't use a condom (according to your comment), he also became part of the joint decision to be a parent...but of course ONLY you can now decide this for him.


SUMMARY:
Your choices brought you here, his choices also brought him here, both towards the same outcome up to that point.
However, immediately one made the choice to be a parent and the other made the choice to NOT be a parent, how do you begin to rationalize the importance of one choice over the other without seeming like a completely entitled person?
Isn't the progressive movement all about respecting people's (male & female) choices anymore? Why the double standards? Why the hypocrisy?

Isn't the idea of freedom to choose hedged on the stone of responsibility?
Why should anyone be taking responsibility for the decision of someone else?

Same way the man couldn't make the decision to terminate a pregnancy carried by you because you have no interest in that, is the exact same way you can't make the decision to have him open his heart & pocket towards a pregnancy he has no interest in.
Isn't this what fairness is supposed to be about?
What exactly are people fighting for in this world if the simple concept of equal choices & equal outcomes cannot be followed through?

Ibkayee, I rest.

Still regarding choices we make.
As some of us said that as soon as the man straf without CD, he has no choice again to choose whether to involve himself or not if his action results in pregnancy.

Now a scenario arises whereby a married man give a single lady belle and want the said lady to give birth as he is ready to take care of them 100%.
Now, if the lady said no, as she dont wanna give birth as a single woman or have a child for a married man or even don't want anything to connect her with the man since they were just having fun and shit happened.

My question is this; as in this case,the man don't have a choice anymore even though he don't want the pregnancy, do the lady here have any choice?
Afterall it takes two to tango and the man is ready to take full responsibility.
If the lady decides to abort irrespective of however the man pleads, can we say that the lady is heartless?