₦airaland Forum

etrange:
First, sorry for your sister's exposure to such things, glad she came out fine. I admire her courage and I wish most kids would be like her.

Back to the topic, are you saying since she didn't come out immediately, she should keep mute forever? How would this help those yet to speak up? Aren't we using this speaking up thing to shadow the real issue on ground? She should have voiced out but she did not so the pastor, if guilty, should now be left alone? Shouldn't we be seeking justice first?

See friend, I am not making excuses for anyone, I am only highlighting reality. We all want rape victims to speak up asap. We want to tell them the dangers of not speaking up in time just as you listed. We are clamouring for the same thing here. But some of them have the fears I listed above and we can't help it. People are different. Whichever way, turning the table to blame the rape victim is outrightly ridiculous. Speaking up immediately or 100yrs later does not in any way undermine their ordeal. We have to chase away the kite before blaming the hen for exposing its chicks. Yes, evidences are lost after many years but speaking when you can remains ideal. Whether people eventually believe you or not, you get to feel relieved. Regardless of how we view this, we must agree that speaking up late does not remove the cruelty of rape. Like I said earlier, the question is if the man did or not. Trying to shun her down cause she didn't speak up early enough would only discourage past victims from coming out. They'd literally give in to their fears.

All these are distractions. Let's all pray for justice.

I respect your opinion. But unfortunately it's not mine opinion.

If anyone refuses to report rape at least within one or two years it happened, its better the fellow stays silent forever except of course in a case where the rapist is being suspected to have committed the same crime or similar crime in the future. My view.

Reporting it 10 years or 20 years after simply creates problems I listed for everyone.

The fellow that committed the crime could've even beat the habit by then and living an upright life.

The fellow that's reporting the case could've also accumulated a lot of wrong doings probably worse than rape over those years.

Law enforcement agents simply won't know from where to start investigating.

I simply advocate its reported early or its forgotten. Everyone also has gone through heartwrenching circumstances they'd rather not speak about for life.

ubunja:
time is crucial because proof is needed.
A crime reported 15 yrs later won't be evidence-based

No one is saying time is not important. I am saying that regardless of how long it takes one to speak up, rape is still rape and remains a terrible crime.

We have seen people convicted for a crime they committed 50 years earlier so all hopes are not lost. And if she ends up not being able to prove it cause of the loss of evidence, it's still a good thing she spoke up. That'd make her feel better and encourage other victims to talk. We cannot get rape victims to be open if we keep shunning them down.

etrange:
No one is saying time is not important. I am saying that regardless of how long it takes one to speak up, rape is still rape and remains a terrible crime.

We have seen people convicted for a crime they committed 50 years earlier so all hopes are not lost. And if she ends up not being able to prove it cause of the loss of evidence, it's still a good thing she spoke up. That'd make her feel better and encourage other victims to talk. We cannot get rape victims to be open if we keep shunning them down.

yes.

But when it comes to rape everyone is emotional. And the man won't be guaranteed of a fair trail.

See how already everyone has concluded the man is guilty.

ubunja:
don't wait till a person is famous to report a rape because then it raises some questions.

That's what we're saying.

If you're raped go report. Today. Tomorrow. But not 15 yrs later.

You are 100% right. But should the rapists be left go free because the victims waited for long before speaking up? Will past victims have the mind to speak up seeing how we treat this case? Time might make it difficult if not impossible to prove but it never make it less a crime.

ubunja:
yes.

But when it comes to rape everyone is emotional. And the man won't be guaranteed of a fair trail.

See how already everyone has concluded the man is guilty.

Well, everyone is not the judge. Everyone is not the investigator. Everyone is just voicing their opinion. We hope for a fair trial. And if the man is guilty, we should be glad she eventually came out.

blujoi:
As an addendum, if you had watched the interview you would have seen where she stated that she reported to her immediate family when the incident happened, so yeah she decided to out the man publicly after 17 years. Probably her own way of dealing with the hurt and the psychological damage it brought to her

lol....her own way of trying to use the media trial to get the man to step down.... bunch of evil ppl

etrange:
You are 100% right. But should the rapists be left go free because the victims waited for long before speaking up? Will past victims have the mind to speak up seeing how we treat this case? Time might make it difficult if not impossible to prove but it never make it less a crime.

justice does not always win. Make peace with that.

See how tyrants ruined countries like Zimbabwe but today those men still walk free. It Hurts. But what can you do?

Some things will only be settled on Judgement Day.

loswhite:
Without proof you already believe the man is guilty

I never said he is. I use expressions like "allegedly", "if guilty", etc. We can only hope for a good trial. I'm only saying there's nothing bad in speaking eventually.

etrange:
Well, everyone is not the judge. Everyone is not the investigator. Everyone is just voicing their opinion. We hope for a fair trial. And if the man is guilty, we should be glad she eventually came out.

there is such a thing called The Court of Public Opinion. The sentiment of the general public can influence the outcome of a court case.
That's why these women like reporting cases first on Social Media than the Police.

GraGra247:
I respect your opinion. But unfortunately it's not mine opinion.

If anyone refuses to report rape at least within one or two years it happened, its better the fellow stays silent forever except of course in a case where the rapist is being suspected to have committed the same crime or similar crime in the future. My view.

Reporting it 10 years or 20 years after simply creates problems I listed for everyone.

The fellow that committed the crime could've even beat the habit by then and living an upright life.

The fellow that's reporting the case could've also accumulated a lot of wrong doings probably worse than rape over those years.

Law enforcement agents simply won't know from where to start investigating.

I simply advocate its reported early or its forgotten. Everyone also has gone through heartwrenching circumstances they'd rather not speak about for life.

Don't make seem as if I'm saying it should not be reported early. That is ideal. But I totally disagree with never reporting cause you didn't do it as soon as it happened. We are arguing this cause you miss the problem domain. Reporting years later is never the problem, the problem (rape act) already exists. Reporting years later only makes it a bit more difficult to solve the problem. And like I said earlier, whether you're able to prove it or not, it's still a good thing you eventually spoke out. If you rape someone and later turn a new leaf, go and apologise.

ubunja:
there is such a thing called The Court of Public Opinion. The sentiment of the general public can influence the outcome of a court case.
That's why these women like reporting cases first on Social Media than the Police.

You're right and for the same influence of public opinion, we should desist from shutting down people that report rape cases based on the grounds that they didn't do it early enough. Such could deter others.

etrange:
You're right and for the same influence of public opinion, we should desist from shutting down people that report rape cases based on the grounds that they didn't do it early enough. Such could deter others.

But it will change the game for future victims. They'll not make the same mistake.

ubunja:
justice does not always win. Make peace with that.

See how tyrants ruined countries like Zimbabwe but today those men still walk free. It Hurts. But what can you do?

Some things will only be settled on Judgement Day.

No one is arguing that. Justice does not always win. But we can always be on the side of justice. If the man is guilty, she could still lose the case due to lack of evidence. But it'll still be a good thing she eventually spoke out.

etrange:
No one is arguing that. Justice does not always win. But we can always be on the side of justice. If the man is guilty, she could still lose the case due to lack of evidence. But it'll still be a good thing she eventually spoke out.

I'm all for the case going to court. If for nothing than closure for the victim.

What the court will decide we'll welcome.

ubunja:
But it will change the game for future victims. They'll not make the same mistake.

Because of people who are yet to be victimised, you want the present day victim to go without justice? See, we encourage everyone to speak up and make the same mistake but we also want justice for the one who has spoken up. In fact, that's the best way to encourage others.

ubunja:
I'm all for the case going to court. If for nothing than closure for the victim.

What the court will decide we'll welcome.

Perfect!

etrange:
Because of people who are yet to be victimised, you want the present day victim to go without justice? See, we encourage everyone to speak up and make the same mistake but we also want justice for the one who has spoken up. In fact, that's the best way to encourage others.

not really.

If they see how hard it is to prosecute 15 yrs later maybe they'll be pushed/motivated to move faster

etrange:
Typical Nairalander playing the gender card.

Fear women? Women are the leaders of bokoharam? Women are the kidnappers terrorising Nigeria? Women are the rapists roaming the streets? Women are the Fulani herdsmen killing people out there? Please, I'd rather have a logical response than this chauvinistic comment you spewed up there. You think a Dakolo's wife just woke up and decided to look for a pastor to defame?

I don't know the kind of women you have in your life but don't quote me if all you can offer is prejudice. Thank you.

Well, I'm not gender biased as you think. But then, what if they dated and it all ended sour? What if she wants to use this as a medium to punish him for his unfulfilled promises? I'm not saying that she lied; only that women can do anything to reduce a man, even cook up any stories. Maybe because of their weakness we'll be left with no doubt than to back them up. I'm praying such thing will not happen to me. Lastly, even if you're a woman, my important advice to you still remain fear women

etrange:
Don't make seem as if I'm saying it should not be reported early. That is ideal. But I totally disagree with never reporting cause you didn't do it as soon as it happened. We are arguing this cause you miss the problem domain. Reporting years later is never the problem, the problem (rape act) already exists. Reporting years later only makes it a bit more difficult to solve the problem. And like I said earlier, whether you're able to prove it or not, it's still a good thing you eventually spoke out. If you rape someone and later turn a new leaf, go and apologise.

One other factor and most cogent reason I failed to mention is that if victims keep reporting rapes late when evidences are no longer available, many desperate ladies will jump on it and use it to settle scores with men that disagreed with them over other issues.

The'll just report that he raped me ten years ago when we were in high school. Such report alone without any evidence have sacked a lot of accused men from work and made them loose many important connections and friends due to suspicion.

Some of the ladies that later jumped on the Harvey Weinstein #metoo rape expose were reported to have faked it just to get the fame or receive some settlement like the real victims could.

Dumb Nigerian man, how wont your sister be getting raped with this your dumb mentality? See how unfortunate you and your entire family are. No money, poverty, sexual perversion and everything evil. Shior! Family of bad luck and nonsense. better take that small girl for deliverance and probe further, I'm very sure she must have been abused when she was 3.

GraGra247:
My sister at age 9 reported an attempted rape from a relative the very next day it happened. Many younger naive girls have done the same.

Now a lady at full age of 17 had to wait 15 whole years to report a multiple full rape case and I say it's improper and wrong and everyone wants to crucify me for it.


If a minor is raped and speaks later its tolerable. But if a lady of accountable age cannot speak until 10 years later, she better remains silent forever.


I dislike where people pour too much emotion and sentiments into every matter without applying common sense and logic.