₦airaland Forum

dannybrasky:
After my ordeal with egbon Mufu,a friend of mine who's uncle is a former sss turned CEO of a security company told my friend to come work as a security under his company pending when he would get a better job.
Told my padi I was interested,he spoke to his uncle,after so much begging uncle agreed.

But first we were told we would undergo 3 weeks drill/training b4 being confirmed as security operatives with the company. I kept asking my padi,how much is our salary? He asked his uncle,uncle kept telling us not to worry,said we should undergo the training first,then we can talk about pay later,and we would be well paid

Trusting his uncle,we joined some few recruits numbering about 40 of us to one abandoned warehouse in ijesa b4 cele bustop. No light,no food,nothing, we were to feed ourselves through out our 3 weeks drill. Every morning there is this taekwondo master that comes to drill us on self defense and stuff. This man showed me shege,enduring some harsh conditions with this taekwondo master tying my hands to my feet with rope while sitting on the floor because I wasn't flexible enough,he would then start hitting my lower back with a plank as well as pressing me down saying my head must touch my knee at all cost Yet I endured cos I trusted my friends uncle would give us a robust salary,omo boy was just looking at the bigger picture (FAT PAYCHECK)

After almost 2weeks in the camp,mosquitoes chop nonsense commot for my ear,I drink gaari so tee my jaw begin they swell I kept working up my padi,asking omo you don ask your uncle about our salary? He replied saying his uncle is coming today,said they would even give us supervisor position,my heart jumped for joy,with my hands up high singing HALLELUJAH in my heart that finally I have beaten my village people to it. (The poverty in me was rejoicing )

Finally uncle showed up at the camp,every one was greeting him yes sir yes sir including me,but my paddi wanted to show everyone say em no be der mate went to meet his uncle,they shook hands and he was complaining loudly about mosquitos and no light,even me follow go meet them to show others say I know bros well well.

Conclusion!! They walked away leaving me behind and they kept talking. Long story short,padi came back with a long face,I asked him how far? He said monthly salary is 5k,supervisor 7.5k, My jaw dropped,and immediately my mind went to the taekwondo masters torture and all the early morning reluctant jogging join with other suffering. I wish I could see the taekwondo master and just shift his jaw with one blow. (Wèrè)

The next thing I begin pack my shuttle bag,my guy asked me wetin happen? I replied just dey watch me. Immediately he started packing his own bags as well. The remaining recruits for camp were asking wetin happen? Like say na deaf man,omo boy just lock up. Got to the gate of the warehouse,security said on oga's order no one is allowed to leave the camp. When the guy see as my eye red like songo own,I flung the gate open stepped out,i was waiting for him to just touch me so I can unleash all my frustration on his,em no even dare touch me,na so I match out for camp


My friend later got Visa to Europe few months later,I left lagos few weeks after the camp wahala and got a very good job in just a month.

abkrgumel:
guy u don see life o especially the moment ebgon mufu neck no fit turn

gideon1971:
lmaooooooo they have been planning for u

LadySarah:
Really?.Read what i quoted and tell me what You make of it.Nobody is perfect but that post upset my head .

If You are OK with it,no p.

deepthougths:
He said the sch is ready to take a chance with me, so they'll pay me 10k.
Wait? 10k each day?
No 10k per month

dedons:
Na normal thing for liars to take over the thread

LadySarah:
Really?.Read what i quoted and tell me what You make of it.Nobody is perfect but that post upset my head .

If You are OK with it,no p.

Chomzy19:
Look at this one o. Anyone send you come Nairaland come read posts? You go fear "upset my head". Your only contribution to the thread is to insult someone that actually contributed content.

Please mind your language on a public forum. He did not invite you to read his 'atrocious' English. You invited yourself, so bear whatever it is you are having in your head by yourself and apologize to the young man.

molybdenum0012:
Let me share another funny experience. This happened shortly after Sanwo-olu of Lagos won the gubernatorial election.

I was at home relaxing around 4pm on a certain Tuesday. Then a call came in, it was my cousin who is into politics.


He called me and asked me to hurriedly go to Ikeja GRA and meet someone there for a job. Like a fool I did not even bother to ask the kind of job it would be. In my mind, I felt it must be a gevernment job since Sanwo-olu just won the election and my cousin, being One of his campaign members, I felt he must get a slot for me in the ministry. How wrong!

Without delay, I neatly packed my CV and first and second degree certificates into my bag and set for the journey.

I got to the place around 6:30pm. I saw crowd of people celebrating Sanwon-Olu's win. I put a call through to the man I was to see and he directed me to wait for at the reception.
At the reception, I met about 4 guys, neatly dressed. I later knew we were waiting for the same person.

The man addressed us around 7:30, telling us we should come back the follwing morning around 6:30am, that the chairman that would address us was still celebrating. Well, I did not mind to come back the following day I felt it would be a good job.


The following morning I had woken up so early that I left home around 5:30am to beat the traffic. I got to the venue exactly 6:00am. I was the first person to get there. I was so well dressed that some of the security guy there thought I came from the governor's office. They even gave me a chair to sit.


Later the man in charge of the recruitment walked in. Then I started seeing some area boys/thugs, some did not wear clothes, some were smoking weeds. I began to wonder why they were there. I could not come to the term that they came for the same job I was there for.

Later, a man brought out a full scalp sheet for us to write our name and phone no. Before I knew what was happening the whole place was full with area boys. They too was there writing their name. Some of them could not write their name properly 'cos there are not educated. After written mine, I waited patiently for us to be addressed about the job description.


Meanwhile, I had earlier called my younger brother to join me there 'cos I thought we would be employed based on our educational qualification. Not long, my brother walked in and became angry seeing the caliber of people around there. Immidialtelt he left, saying it could not be a good job.


I remained there, I just wanted to be sure it was actually not what I thought. I could not believe my own cousin would ask me to come work with such caliber of people.

Later, we were asked to gather to be address about the job description. My brother I could not strand amount those guys. Some of them were smelling, with skin rashes all over their body, I had to stay somewhere far and listen to the man speak. Right there we were told we would be removing campaign posters from the street of Lagos and would work alongside LASA. Meanwhile the pay for the job was not mentioned. The man said it is between Sanwo-olu and God.. lol. I look myself from head to toes, I just pity my life.

Later we were given two white polos and a cap. I felt so disappointed and had to come back home without follwing them to LASA office that very day. The polos and cap they gave me, I just gave it out to someone at home.

It was really a horrible experience for me. I wasted more than 2k for transport and exhausted my energy.

PrincessB1:
I get o, but that one no be for free

Asquare84:
The remove 600 k

dadayung1:
is service this august

dannybrasky:
Back then in Bariga after secondary school,did waec and was waiting for result . As a born hustler,I would do any legit job to make sure I have my own little cash at hand. Name it, any hard job,omo boy was always ready lol.

I tried hard but couldn't get something to do until a friend of mine asked if I would work as a sand lifter with basket from the lagoon at bariga. Mehn I was do danm happy like yaay I have finally gotten myself a gig lol,but guys I was wrong as what I saw wasn't what I expected

Got to the lagoon down down after king sunny Ade's house,can't remember the name of the street. From the lagoon you can clearly see third mainland bridge.

Oh b4 I forget,being overwhelmed with happiness I didn't bother asking what the pay was like. Fast forward got to the lagoon,saw some giant well chiseled bros them, going into the lagoon with basket to park sand and then bring it to the shores of the lagoon. As a strong omo boy I was still like no shaking I go chop this job for breakfast easy pizzy lol.

Then came the shocker, there was this bros that was suppose to direct me on how to go about it,his name is Egbon Mufu. I asked some of the guys at the shore pls I'm asking for egbon Mufu,and then one pointed me at a direction and said there he is. Egbon Mufu was just coming out of the water with heavy basket of sand looking huge and well chiseled like a Greek god. I watched the way he struggled a bit to find his way to
shore in order for him to dump the sand he got from the lagoon.

He dumped the sand, stood there and was breathing heavily. And then one of the guys called him to inform him I was looking for him. NOTE, egbon Mufu was backing us when he was called upon,reacting to the call egbon couldn't turn his neck he had to turn his whole body cos his neck has already gotten stiff due to the pressure from the heavy basket of sand he carried couple with latic acid burning. In my mind I was like wtf,na so I won take die? Na so my neck go come break We concluded on how I would go about the job,he told me to pull of my clothes as I have to work with boxers alone lol. Me wey be say as soon as I saw the neck issue I already made up my mind to salo lol. Na so I tell am say I no wear pant say make I go buy boxers to wear He then replied saying eat b4 u come back o,I say no wahala egbon. If I'm to ever see egbon Mufu again that would be today I jejely went back home to hug my bed Too young to die

Puregold3:
This is the funniest job ever. so, u scammed egbon abi... Ur lie was epic

dannybrasky:
Haaa! I though I was hardcore,when egbon couldn't move his neck with all the muscles on his body,I knew I was facing death

martinskelly:
O boy see people experience 4 job matter, e no funny o!

Mine was in 2013 after my NYSC in kwara, i decided to call my dad friends wife who happens to be working with fed ministry of foreign affairs in Abuja,

Me: ma I'm through with my service
Madam: Oya start coming to Abuja,i think u know kubwa
Me: Not really coz i have never been to Abuja no to talk of kubwa
Madam: OK don't worry i will send u address
Me: Alright ma.
She sent me address after two days of our conversation, Boom! The next day i boarded a bus going to Abuja from iyana ipaja with joy in my heart say "i wan go work for ministry" .
The quantum of joy i experience during the journey cannot be measured even if you use tape rule lol!
I said to myself if na die we go die there together shebi na Abuja i must make am(well it was my first time of entering Abuja don't blame me though).
I got to Abuja(Zubwa) around 11:30pm that night but i no fear say na night we dey because i just don't know where i got the strength from, anyways i decide to charter car from Zubwa to Kubwa lol! Well thank God her house was easily located; Damm her house was beautiful, i said to myself again if this woman fit own a mansion why me no go fit(but i never knew i was dreaming).
She was the only one staying in the house coz her husband normally come home maybe weekend and her only son is in the USA studying.
After like a month of staying with her, to cut the story short! no job, no movement, no money for my hand again(after spending all my alawee for transport and stuff) she told me not to worry that she is working out something for me at her place of work(Ministry), That for the mean time that i should be washing her car so she would be giving me something to use hold body lol! I obliged o, i come dey wash car for her; 3months don pass i still dey wash her car, her friends car, even some neighborhood people self dey bring car to help them wash.
After 4months i told her how far the "Ministry job" she told me that the position that she wants to fix me in is taken by somebody else that i should be patient, i got angry and told her that:
Me: I am leaving for Lagos the next day say i get interview in two days time.
Madam: why so soon, after all my effort you just want to go to Lagos just like that
Me: yes ma, i have an interview in two days time and i don't want to miss it
Madam: o really
Me: yes, since i came here i have never submitted CV or you collecting my CV not to talk going for interview Madam: what about setting up a car wash for you here(Abuja)
Me: na so i open mouth(so na car wash dis woman want make i come dey do for Abuja)

Till now the woman no know as i take reach lagos.

Ytea:
It was during NYSC, while on camp I met with the ZGI through a gender equality awareness group I joined, she told me there's this NGO that needs a female Corper, that's how aI entered it. The NGO building was an abandoned flat in a market place... I was like OK, let's see what happens. The owner goes, "em I don't have anyone working with me, so you'll be the one to open and close everyday, you clean the whole place, I'll get you acquainted with some of the paper works we do here, so you'll take over. I mustn't forget to mention that some churches will want us to come speak with them on Sundays, so be ready to work on Sundays too. you'll be paid 5,000 naira, shebi NYSC is going to pay you 19,800". I was shocked, I told her to reject me o, she refused because she has a relationship with the ZGI. Alot of drama happened sha, ZGI wanted me to stay also, I maintained my refusal, they saw me as a bad shild but what's my own? I know one day, something go push the woman send me enter market go buy maggi and salt for am.

damtan:
chisos maybe the ministry work would be after you've removed all posters

deepthougths:
So after my final exams in the uni, I was yet to be shortlisted for nysc. I got a connect to teach in a private sec sch that had population. The principal was a nice man, and the school was my Alma when they only had primary section. I went to the interview with nothing as I was yet to get my statement of result from the University. The principal along with one of his vice principal took me to ss2 for test running. I was told to teach geography spot on. Well, I did. I just collected one of the students her note and naturally read everything out . 10minutes into teaching test, I was stopped by the principal and we headed back to his office which was quite fancy. He told me I was employed and that I'll be teaching jss1 to 3, Social studies and home economics. Ss1 to 3 geography and physics. He handed me 12 80leaved note books, 1 for each subject and class and told me to start writing my notes of lesson. He said I'd have to be writing those notes weekly and submit it for marking. I told him I studied engineering and I've not the smallest idea on how to write a note of lesson. He said it's a digital world I should visit the net. Funny man. All the while the principal's voice was so loud, but when it got to negotiating salary, it turned into a whisper. He said the sch is ready to take a chance with me, so they'll pay me 10k.
Wait? 10k each day?
No 10k per month
Am I to come only when I have periods and leave thereafter?
No, you come every day. 7am and leave after sch dismisses, 2:30pm.
I shook his hand firmly, told him thank you. Grabbed the 12 notebooks and left. I gifted the books to my cousin who was in jss3 as at that time in a public sch. I'm sure the 'God bless you' the little boy repeatedly told me has also been a push for me.
I'm almost rounding up my nysc, I'm serving in a private firm in delta.

PrincessB1:
You're welcome

OlawaleBammie:
See pls pls pls, i want to slp early, am soo tired and decv to rest, a take God beg u let me slp, a never finish reading ur post but laf wan tear my belle already, egbon mufu

OlawaleBammie:
ahahah omo buruku, otulugbo.
he said av made up mu mind to salo

LordAdam16:
The question really is would you or anyone you know buy cabin biscuit for N40 apiece to help provide the "humane" working conditions you hastily propose for the factory workers?

Olamsoh:
"What is the most ridiculous job offer you have ever received?"

Applied as an Operations Manager in an iron company. I was offered d job. 3months later, dey sack d gateman & handed d key 2me. I wil be d 1 to opn d gate,wash d toilet,mob d offices,go 2 bank evryday 2 deliver client cheques plus multiple insult frm my boss r.All dis for 40k

Let us hear from you.

3rdavefarms:
. Yea 50 k per month I mean

Totaling 600 k per annum

dedons:
Do you want your payment in cash or kind