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What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? - Jobs/Vacancies (10) - Nairaland

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What Is The Highest Salary You Have Ever Received / What's The Worst Pay You Have Ever Received As A Writer? / Should He Accept The Job Offer As A University Graduate? Pls Advice Needed (2) (3) (4)

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Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by damtan(m): 2:32pm On Jul 16, 2019
Honestly this thread is capable of healing depression and restoring hope. I've laughed and laughed and still laughing smileysmiley

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by samuelonyewueny(m): 2:41pm On Jul 16, 2019
kitaatita:
I was offered job to sell medications on a molue bus. I had applied as a marketing officer.
LOL..Honestly is that not part of marketing?? grin grin

6 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by goshen26: 2:42pm On Jul 16, 2019
djgreenland:


My own Bode Thomas? I know the furniture company!!!

Yes, your own bode thomas

1 Like

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by PrincessB1(f): 2:46pm On Jul 16, 2019
peteruuu:

grin no. Thanks.
I wanto goan buy popcorn.
Lemme help you.
Enjoy grin

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Seandavid(m): 2:51pm On Jul 16, 2019
OiOi:
Mine was in 300level back in 2013. I needed some money to finance my upkeep in school among other things. So one bright Sunday like that I journeyed to a estate dressing up cute as a fine boy.
I kept knocking on different gates. From one house to the other asking if there is any if there was any laundry they would like to do. Mostly I was attended to by the security guard and turned back. But I got to a madam's house who was ready to listen to me.
She said it's not advisable for an undergraduate to engage in such. Then she told me to sit at the gate man's side. She came out some minutes later and drove me to her fish meal factory.
My brothers! My sisters! I saw muscular men, the size of Brocklesner and Tripple H sweating as they were lifting heavy bags of soya beans. You need to see my stature which is in absolute contrast to those men. Am super thin and tall.

That was when she asked me if I will be able to work under pressure. I was thinking she wanted to make me the store keeper or manager. Till she asked if I can lift bags with those men for 2000 per day.
The devil and hunger in me almost wanted to make me say yes...

I’m in tears for you bro ����

1 Like

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by peteruuu(m): 2:53pm On Jul 16, 2019
PrincessB1:

Lemme help you.
Enjoy grin

Lol, I'm also enjoying this thread with plantain chips.

Yummy grin

3 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Samcent: 2:56pm On Jul 16, 2019
... this thread na stress therapy...

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by harryakand: 2:59pm On Jul 16, 2019
BianoJay:
Was crazily in search of a job after graduation, finally found a company who was even ready to interview me. Interview was for the post of manager of small printing press. Did so well in the interview, and computer tests that the owner of the company had to make me a typist instead of manager���� angry grin grin angry angry
Pay was 20k. Qualification: B.Sc Public Administration, 2.1 grin grin grin
Told me my salary was to be reviewed upwards, after a month. Worked for four months, no review, no salary...I sha advised myself and took off
Lol, before you start borrowing money to go to work grin grin grin
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by clive2u(m): 3:04pm On Jul 16, 2019
deepthougths:
So after my final exams in the uni, I was yet to be shortlisted for nysc. I got a connect to teach in a private sec sch that had population. The principal was a nice man, and the school was my Alma when they only had primary section. I went to the interview with nothing as I was yet to get my statement of result from the University. The principal along with one of his vice principal took me to ss2 for test running. I was told to teach geography spot on. Well, I did. I just collected one of the students her note and naturally read everything out cheesy grin grin. 10minutes into teaching test, I was stopped by the principal and we headed back to his office which was quite fancy. He told me I was employed and that I'll be teaching jss1 to 3, Social studies and home economics. Ss1 to 3 geography and physics. He handed me 12 80leaved note books, 1 for each subject and class and told me to start writing my notes of lesson. He said I'd have to be writing those notes weekly and submit it for marking. I told him I studied engineering and I've not the smallest idea on how to write a note of lesson. He said it's a digital world I should visit the net. Funny man. All the while the principal's voice was so loud, but when it got to negotiating salary, it turned into a whisper. He said the sch is ready to take a chance with me, so they'll pay me 10k.
Wait? 10k each day?
No 10k per month
Am I to come only when I have periods and leave thereafter?
No, you come every day. 7am and leave after sch dismisses, 2:30pm.
I shook his hand firmly, told him thank you. Grabbed the 12 notebooks and left. I gifted the books to my cousin who was in jss3 as at that time in a public sch. I'm sure the 'God bless you' the little boy repeatedly told me has also been a push for me.
I'm almost rounding up my nysc, I'm serving in a private firm in delta.
wise man
U took the note book for him wasting ur time

6 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by tunary(m): 3:08pm On Jul 16, 2019
OiOi:
Mine was in 300level back in 2013. I needed some money to finance my upkeep in school among other things. So one bright Sunday like that I journeyed to a estate dressing up cute as a fine boy.
I kept knocking on different gates. From one house to the other asking if there is any if there was any laundry they would like to do. Mostly I was attended to by the security guard and turned back. But I got to a madam's house who was ready to listen to me.
She said it's not advisable for an undergraduate to engage in such. Then she told me to sit at the gate man's side. She came out some minutes later and drove me to her fish meal factory.
My brothers! My sisters! I saw muscular men, the size of Brocklesner and Tripple H sweating as they were lifting heavy bags of soya beans. You need to see my stature which is in absolute contrast to those men. Am super thin and tall.

That was when she asked me if I will be able to work under pressure. I was thinking she wanted to make me the store keeper or manager. Till she asked if I can lift bags with those men for 2000 per day.
The devil and hunger in me almost wanted to make me say yes...
LOL. too funny
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by PrincessB1(f): 3:11pm On Jul 16, 2019
frozen70:


You would have made use of

"a bed in hand worths two".
A bird rather.
A bird in the hand, is worth two in the bush.

1 Like

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Icelake111: 3:28pm On Jul 16, 2019
Well last year a friend called me saying they need a manager in a hotel in GRA PH...said her mum knows the owner...that i should go with my CV that they will be an interview..
I got there with so much anticipation that am gonna be a manger in a hotel...for GRA..oboy see big boy, well i meet a lady who looked @ me with smiles, after going through my CV told me the pay is 15k, that when am on duty, i will clean the rooms after a guest is done, wash the sheets..n keep the sales of the day for her.
From that place to my house na 400 naira everyday o...i beg the woman to make it 20k she said mbanu!! That's what i pay..
I said ok i will go home and think about it..she said let me keep the CV i told her no i will bring it back
CV wey i want take blow??
Na so i tk run o

22 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by dannybrasky(m): 3:30pm On Jul 16, 2019
After my ordeal with egbon Mufu,a friend of mine who's uncle is a former sss turned CEO of a security company told my friend to come work as a security under his company pending when he would get a better job.
Told my padi I was interested,he spoke to his uncle,after so much begging uncle agreed.

But first we were told we would undergo 3 weeks drill/training b4 being confirmed as security operatives with the company. I kept asking my padi,how much is our salary? He asked his uncle,uncle kept telling us not to worry,said we should undergo the training first,then we can talk about pay later,and we would be well paid grin

Trusting his uncle,we joined some few recruits numbering about 40 of us to one abandoned warehouse in ijesa b4 cele bustop. No light,no food,nothing, we were to feed ourselves through out our 3 weeks drill. Every morning there is this taekwondo master that comes to drill us on self defense and stuff. This man showed me shege,enduring some harsh conditions with this taekwondo master tying my hands to my feet with rope while sitting on the floor because I wasn't flexible enough,he would then start hitting my lower back with a plank as well as pressing me down saying my head must touch my knee at all cost grin Yet I endured cos I trusted my friends uncle would give us a robust salary,omo boy was just looking at the bigger picture (FAT PAYCHECK) grin

After almost 2weeks in the camp,mosquitoes chop nonsense commot for my ear,I drink gaari so tee my jaw begin they swell grin I kept working up my padi,asking omo you don ask your uncle about our salary? He replied saying his uncle is coming today,said they would even give us supervisor position,my heart jumped for joy,with my hands up high singing HALLELUJAH in my heart that finally I have beaten my village people to it. (The poverty in me was rejoicing grin)

Finally uncle showed up at the camp,every one was greeting him yes sir yes sir including me,but my paddi wanted to show everyone say em no be der mate went to meet his uncle,they shook hands and he was complaining loudly about mosquitos and no light,even me follow go meet them to show others say I know bros well well. grin

Conclusion!! They walked away leaving me behind and they kept talking. Long story short,padi came back with a long face,I asked him how far? He said monthly salary is 5k,supervisor 7.5k, undecided My jaw dropped,and immediately my mind went to the taekwondo masters torture and all the early morning reluctant jogging join with other suffering. I wish I could see the taekwondo master and just shift his jaw with one blow. (Wèrè) grin

The next thing I begin pack my shuttle bag,my guy asked me wetin happen? I replied just dey watch me. Immediately he started packing his own bags as well. The remaining recruits for camp were asking wetin happen? Like say na deaf man,omo boy just lock up. Got to the gate of the warehouse,security said on oga's order no one is allowed to leave the camp. When the guy see as my eye red like songo own,I flung the gate open stepped out,i was waiting for him to just touch me so I can unleash all my frustration on his,em no even dare touch me,na so I match out for camp grin


My friend later got Visa to Europe few months later,I left lagos few weeks after the camp wahala and got a very good job in just a month.

36 Likes 5 Shares

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by peteruuu(m): 3:30pm On Jul 16, 2019
deepthougths:
So after my final exams in the uni, I was yet to be shortlisted for nysc. I got a connect to teach in a private sec sch that had population. The principal was a nice man, and the school was my Alma when they only had primary section. I went to the interview with nothing as I was yet to get my statement of result from the University. The principal along with one of his vice principal took me to ss2 for test running. I was told to teach geography spot on. Well, I did. I just collected one of the students her note and naturally read everything out cheesy grin grin. 10minutes into teaching test, I was stopped by the principal and we headed back to his office which was quite fancy. He told me I was employed and that I'll be teaching jss1 to 3, Social studies and home economics. Ss1 to 3 geography and physics. He handed me 12 80leaved note books, 1 for each subject and class and told me to start writing my notes of lesson. He said I'd have to be writing those notes weekly and submit it for marking. I told him I studied engineering and I've not the smallest idea on how to write a note of lesson. He said it's a digital world I should visit the net. Funny man. All the while the principal's voice was so loud, but when it got to negotiating salary, it turned into a whisper. He said the sch is ready to take a chance with me, so they'll pay me 10k.
Wait? 10k each day?
No 10k per month
Am I to come only when I have periods and leave thereafter?
No, you come every day. 7am and leave after sch dismisses, 2:30pm.
I shook his hand firmly, told him thank you. Grabbed the 12 notebooks and left. I gifted the books to my cousin who was in jss3 as at that time in a public sch. I'm sure the 'God bless you' the little boy repeatedly told me has also been a push for me.
I'm almost rounding up my nysc, I'm serving in a private firm in delta.

Looool grin grin grin grin I wanted to boil rice and chop o, but see me now, rolling on my bed with laughter grin cheesy

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by LeoFish92(m): 3:31pm On Jul 16, 2019
LordAdam16:


See this too many times, that maybe it's necessary to set the record straight.

Factory and warehouse jobs the world over are terrible. Go read accounts about minimum-wage workers in Amazon processing centers who have to pee in bottles to save time. That's a company with a $990b market cap.

This also explains why automation is seeing rapid growth in that sector, with the hope that the factories and warehouses of the future will not employ humans.

The question really is would you or anyone you know buy cabin biscuit for N40 apiece to help provide the "humane" working conditions you hastily propose for the factory workers? Or isn't this just the ironic conundrum that those who decry conditions regarded as representative of modern slavery are often the most price-conscious consumers.

Same individuals who'd go to a local eatery (commonly called mama put) and want a large serve of rice, beans, plantain, two large-sized cuts of meat all for less than $1 if possible. And then when they're told the worker is paid less than 10k monthly after "slaving" from 6 to 6, they begin fuming like they've ever tipped or make it a point to pay excess.

If you think you can run a factory that pays much better, gives lots of breaks, paid vacations, even maternity/paternity leave to low-skilled workers; while simultaneously offering low market price or even better undercutting the competition, paying off your double-digit loans timely, and providing double-digit returns to investors and shareholders; please write a business plan and I can guarantee you you'd become a billionaire in 5 years as capital will find you instead of the other way around.

Gala has been sold at 50 naira for over 10 years. In that same time minimum wage has risen from 9800 to 30000, and NGN/USD rate has risen from 100/$ to 360/$. Now if UAC says they want to increase the price to 150 to match the wage and rate increase; how many of you would buy?

This is the type of economic illiteracy that leads to the election of nutjobs like Buhari and AOC.

There's no emotion in the jungle or the real world. Employers do not just arbitrarily choose what to pay workers, the market determines what to pay workers.

That is why entry doctors in Nigeria earn $6000 while their mates in the US earn 6 figures. The difference however is that while childbirth by CS in Nigeria stays below $800 in total; in the US, it goes for about or over $10k (you can check the giving birth thread on NL). In fact, a woman was quoted $877,000 after having triplets. Heart transplants can reach 7 figures.

I'd like to see people proffer solutions on how to address wage inequality without the emotional-laden diatribes. That last bit disgusts me!

-Lord

Dear lord!


Didn't know You are this F'cking brilliant, that's when you are not showering banal encomiums on C. Ronaldo angry

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by molybdenum0012: 3:36pm On Jul 16, 2019
Let me share another funny experience. This happened shortly after Sanwo-olu of Lagos won the gubernatorial election.

I was at home relaxing around 4pm on a certain Tuesday. Then a call came in, it was my cousin who is into politics.


He called me and asked me to hurriedly go to Ikeja GRA and meet someone there for a job. Like a fool I did not even bother to ask the kind of job it would be. In my mind, I felt it must be a gevernment job since Sanwo-olu just won the election and my cousin, being One of his campaign members, I felt he must get a slot for me in the ministry. How wrong!

Without delay, I neatly packed my CV and first and second degree certificates into my bag and set for the journey.

I got to the place around 6:30pm. I saw crowd of people celebrating Sanwon-Olu's win. I put a call through to the man I was to see and he directed me to wait for at the reception.
At the reception, I met about 4 guys, neatly dressed. I later knew we were waiting for the same person.

The man addressed us around 7:30, telling us we should come back the follwing morning around 6:30am, that the chairman that would address us was still celebrating. Well, I did not mind to come back the following day I felt it would be a good job.


The following morning I had woken up so early that I left home around 5:30am to beat the traffic. I got to the venue exactly 6:00am. I was the first person to get there. I was so well dressed that some of the security guy there thought I came from the governor's office. They even gave me a chair to sit.


Later the man in charge of the recruitment walked in. Then I started seeing some area boys/thugs, some did not wear clothes, some were smoking weeds. I began to wonder why they were there. I could not come to the term that they came for the same job I was there for.

Later, a man brought out a full scalp sheet for us to write our name and phone no. Before I knew what was happening the whole place was full with area boys. They too was there writing their name. Some of them could not write their name properly 'cos there are not educated. After written mine, I waited patiently for us to be addressed about the job description.


Meanwhile, I had earlier called my younger brother to join me there 'cos I thought we would be employed based on our educational qualification. Not long, my brother walked in and became angry seeing the caliber of people around there. Immidialtelt he left, saying it could not be a good job.


I remained there, I just wanted to be sure it was actually not what I thought. I could not believe my own cousin would ask me to come work with such caliber of people.

Later, we were asked to gather to be address about the job description. My brother I could not strand amount those guys. Some of them were smelling, with skin rashes all over their body, I had to stay somewhere far and listen to the man speak. Right there we were told we would be removing campaign posters from the street of Lagos and would work alongside LASA. Meanwhile the pay for the job was not mentioned. The man said it is between Sanwo-olu and God.. lol. I look myself from head to toes, I just pity my life.

Later we were given two white polos and a cap. I felt so disappointed and had to come back home without follwing them to LASA office that very day. The polos and cap they gave me, I just gave it out to someone at home.

It was really a horrible experience for me. I wasted more than 2k for transport and exhausted my energy.

26 Likes 4 Shares

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by PrincessB1(f): 3:38pm On Jul 16, 2019
damtan:
Honestly this thread is capable of healing depression and restoring hope. I've laughed and laughed and still laughing smileysmiley
that's true grin

2 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by LeoFish92(m): 3:45pm On Jul 16, 2019
PrincessB1:

Okay grin grin

Enjoy cheesy

I love people like you. Playful and jovial. See the way you are just sharing seats and popcorn with happiness.. You brought a warm smile to my soul

4 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by PrincessB1(f): 3:48pm On Jul 16, 2019
dannybrasky:
After my ordeal with egbon Mufu,a friend of mine who's uncle is a former sss turned CEO of a security company told my friend to come work as a security under his company pending when he would get a better job.
Told my padi I was interested,he spoke to his uncle,after so much begging uncle agreed.

But first we were told we would undergo 3 weeks drill/training b4 being confirmed as security operatives with the company. I kept asking my padi,how much is our salary? He asked his uncle,uncle kept telling us not to worry,said we should undergo the training first,then we can talk about pay later,and we would be well paid grin

Trusting his uncle,we joined some few recruits numbering about 40 of us to one abandoned warehouse in ijesa b4 cele bustop. No light,no food,nothing, we were to feed ourselves through out our 3 weeks drill. Every morning there is this taekwondo master that comes to drill us on self defense and stuff. This man showed me shege,enduring some harsh conditions with this taekwondo master tying my hands to my feet with rope while sitting on the floor because I wasn't flexible enough,he would then start hitting my lower back with a plank as well as pressing me down saying my head must touch my knee at all cost grin Yet I endured cos I trusted my friends uncle would give us a robust salary,omo boy was just looking at the bigger picture (FAT PAYCHECK) grin

After almost 2weeks in the camp,mosquitoes chop nonsense commot for my ear,I drink gaari so tee my jaw begin they swell grin I kept working up my padi,asking omo you don ask your uncle about our salary? He replied saying his uncle is coming today,said they would even give us supervisor position,my heart jumped for joy,with my hands up high singing HALLELUJAH in my heart that finally I have beaten my village people to it. (The poverty in me was rejoicing grin)

Finally uncle showed up at the camp,every one was greeting him yes sir yes sir including me,but my paddi wanted to show everyone say em no be der mate went to meet his uncle,they shook hands and he was complaining loudly about mosquitos and no light,even me follow go meet them to show others say I know bros well well. grin

Conclusion!! They walked away leaving me behind and they kept talking. Long story short,padi came back with a long face,I asked him how far? He said monthly salary is 5k,supervisor 7.5k, undecided My jaw dropped,and immediately my mind went to the taekwondo masters torture and all the early morning reluctant jogging join with other suffering. I wish I could see the taekwondo master and just shift his jaw with one blow. (Wèrè) grin

The next thing I begin pack my shuttle bag,my guy asked me wetin happen? I replied just dey watch me. Immediately he started packing his own bags as well. The remaining recruits for camp were asking wetin happen? Like say na deaf man,omo boy just lock up. Got to the gate of the warehouse,security said on oga's order no one is allowed to leave the camp. When the guy see as my eye red like songo own,I flung the gate open stepped out,i was waiting for him to just touch me so I can unleash all my frustration on his,em no even dare touch me,na so I match out for camp grin


My friend later got Visa to Europe few months later,I left lagos few weeks after the camp wahala and got a very good job in just a month.




Your narration is captivating and exhilarating.

Laugh still wan kill me for this onegrin
Your battle with mosquitoes no get part two grin

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by tbabs10166(m): 3:50pm On Jul 16, 2019
dannybrasky:
After my ordeal with egbon Mufu,a friend of mine who's uncle is a former sss turned CEO of a security company told my friend to come work as a security under his company pending when he would get a better job.
Told my padi I was interested,he spoke to his uncle,after so much begging uncle agreed.

But first we were told we would undergo 3 weeks drill/training b4 being confirmed as security operatives with the company. I kept asking my padi,how much is our salary? He asked his uncle,uncle kept telling us not to worry,said we should undergo the training first,then we can talk about pay later,and we would be well paid grin

Trusting his uncle,we joined some few recruits numbering about 40 of us to one abandoned warehouse in ijesa b4 cele bustop. No light,no food,nothing, we were to feed ourselves through out our 3 weeks drill. Every morning there is this taekwondo master that comes to drill us on self defense and stuff. This man showed me shege,enduring some harsh conditions with this taekwondo master tying my hands to my feet with rope while sitting on the floor because I wasn't flexible enough,he would then start hitting my lower back with a plank as well as pressing me down saying my head must touch my knee at all cost grin Yet I endured cos I trusted my friends uncle would give us a robust salary,omo boy was just looking at the bigger picture (FAT PAYCHECK) grin

After almost 2weeks in the camp,mosquitoes chop nonsense commot for my ear,I drink gaari so tee my jaw begin they swell grin I kept working up my padi,asking omo you don ask your uncle about our salary? He replied saying his uncle is coming today,said they would even give us supervisor position,my heart jumped for joy,with my hands up high singing HALLELUJAH in my heart that finally I have beaten my village people to it. (The poverty in me was rejoicing grin)

Finally uncle showed up at the camp,every one was greeting him yes sir yes sir including me,but my paddi wanted to show everyone say em no be der mate went to meet his uncle,they shook hands and he was complaining loudly about mosquitos and no light,even me follow go meet them to show others say I know bros well well. grin

Conclusion!! They walked away leaving me behind and they kept talking. Long story short,padi came back with a long face,I asked him how far? He said monthly salary is 5k,supervisor 7.5k, undecided My jaw dropped,and immediately my mind went to the taekwondo masters torture and all the early morning reluctant jogging join with other suffering. I wish I could see the taekwondo master and just shift his jaw with one blow. (Wèrè) grin

The next thing I begin pack my shuttle bag,my guy asked me wetin happen? I replied just dey watch me. Immediately he started packing his own bags as well. The remaining recruits for camp were asking wetin happen? Like say na deaf man,omo boy just lock up. Got to the gate of the warehouse,security said on oga's order no one is allowed to leave the camp. When the guy see as my eye red like songo own,I flung the gate open stepped out,i was waiting for him to just touch me so I can unleash all my frustration on his,em no even dare touch me,na so I match out for camp grin


My friend later got Visa to Europe few months later,I left lagos few weeks after the camp wahala and got a very good job in just a month.




chaii mogbe, 7.5k after taekwondo sufferings, but that uncle wicked gan o

7 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Amyyy2020: 3:50pm On Jul 16, 2019
Chai! See hustle...

No worry, u go soon blow
dannybrasky:
After my ordeal with egbon Mufu,a friend of mine who's uncle is a former sss turned CEO of a security company told my friend to come work as a security under his company pending when he would get a better job.
Told my padi I was interested,he spoke to his uncle,after so much begging uncle agreed.

But first we were told we would undergo 3 weeks drill/training b4 being confirmed as security operatives with the company. I kept asking my padi,how much is our salary? He asked his uncle,uncle kept telling us not to worry,said we should undergo the training first,then we can talk about pay later,and we would be well paid grin

Trusting his uncle,we joined some few recruits numbering about 40 of us to one abandoned warehouse in ijesa b4 cele bustop. No light,no food,nothing, we were to feed ourselves through out our 3 weeks drill. Every morning there is this taekwondo master that comes to drill us on self defense and stuff. This man showed me shege,enduring some harsh conditions with this taekwondo master tying my hands to my feet with rope while sitting on the floor because I wasn't flexible enough,he would then start hitting my lower back with a plank as well as pressing me down saying my head must touch my knee at all cost grin Yet I endured cos I trusted my friends uncle would give us a robust salary,omo boy was just looking at the bigger picture (FAT PAYCHECK) grin

After almost 2weeks in the camp,mosquitoes chop nonsense commot for my ear,I drink gaari so tee my jaw begin they swell grin I kept working up my padi,asking omo you don ask your uncle about our salary? He replied saying his uncle is coming today,said they would even give us supervisor position,my heart jumped for joy,with my hands up high singing HALLELUJAH in my heart that finally I have beaten my village people to it. (The poverty in me was rejoicing grin)

Finally uncle showed up at the camp,every one was greeting him yes sir yes sir including me,but my paddi wanted to show everyone say em no be der mate went to meet his uncle,they shook hands and he was complaining loudly about mosquitos and no light,even me follow go meet them to show others say I know bros well well. grin

Conclusion!! They walked away leaving me behind and they kept talking. Long story short,padi came back with a long face,I asked him how far? He said monthly salary is 5k,supervisor 7.5k, undecided My jaw dropped,and immediately my mind went to the taekwondo masters torture and all the early morning reluctant jogging join with other suffering. I wish I could see the taekwondo master and just shift his jaw with one blow. (Wèrè) grin

The next thing I begin pack my shuttle bag,my guy asked me wetin happen? I replied just dey watch me. Immediately he started packing his own bags as well. The remaining recruits for camp were asking wetin happen? Like say na deaf man,omo boy just lock up. Got to the gate of the warehouse,security said on oga's order no one is allowed to leave the camp. When the guy see as my eye red like songo own,I flung the gate open stepped out,i was waiting for him to just touch me so I can unleash all my frustration on his,em no even dare touch me,na so I match out for camp grin


My friend later got Visa to Europe few months later,I left lagos few weeks after the camp wahala and got a very good job in just a month.




4 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by idom101: 3:54pm On Jul 16, 2019
PrincessB1:
grin grin cheesy


laugh have finish me. chai

1 Like

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Amyyy2020: 3:55pm On Jul 16, 2019
Sad! cry
molybdenum0012:
Let me share another funny experience. This happened shortly after Sanwo-olu of Lagos won the gubernatorial election.

I was at home relaxing around 4pm on a certain Tuesday. Then a call came in, it was my cousin who is into politics.


He called me and asked me to hurriedly go to Ikeja GRA and meet someone there for a job. Like a fool I did not even bother to ask the kind of job it would be. In my mind, I felt it must be a gevernment job since Sanwo-olu just won the election and my cousin, being One of his campaign members, I felt he must get a slot for me in the ministry. How wrong!

Without delay, I neatly packed my CV and first and second degree certificates into my bag and set for the journey.

I got to the place around 6:30pm. I saw crowd of people celebrating Sanwon-Olu's win. I put a call through to the man I was to see and he directed me to wait for at the reception.
At the reception, I met about 4 guys, neatly dressed. I later knew we were waiting for the same person.

The man addressed us around 7:30, telling us we should come back the follwing morning around 6:30am, that the chairman that would address us was still celebrating. Well, I did not mind to come back the following day I felt it would be a good job.


The following morning I had woken up so early that I left home around 5:30am to beat the traffic. I got to the venue exactly 6:00am. I was the first person to get there. I was so well dressed that some of the security guy there thought I came from the governor's office. They even gave me a chair to sit.


Later the man in charge of the recruitment walked in. Then I started seeing some area boys/thugs, some did not wear clothes, some were smoking weeds. I began to wonder why they were there. I could not come to the term that they came for the same job I was there for.

Later, a man brought out a full scalp sheet for us to write our name and phone no. Before I knew what was happening the whole place was full with area boys. They too was there writing their name. Some of them could not write their name properly 'cos there are not educated. After written mine, I waited patiently for us to be addressed about the job description.


Meanwhile, I had earlier called my younger brother to join me there 'cos I thought we would be employed based on our educational qualification. Not long, my brother walked in and became angry seeing the caliber of people around there. Immidialtelt he left, saying it could not be a good job.


I remained there, I just wanted to be sure it was actually not what I thought. I could not believe my own cousin would ask me to come work with such caliber of people.

Later, we were asked to gather to be address about the job description. My brother I could not strand amount those guys. Some of them were smelling, with skin rashes all over their body, I had to stay somewhere far and listen to the man speak. Right there we were told we would be removing campaign posters from the street of Lagos and would work alongside LASA. Meanwhile the pay for the job was not mentioned. The man said it is between Sanwo-olu and God.. lol. I look myself from head to toes, I just pity my life.

Later we were given two white polos and a cap. I felt so disappointed and had to come back home without follwing them to LASA office that very day. The polos and cap they gave me, I just gave it out to someone at home.

It was really a horrible experience for me. I wasted more than 2k for transport and exhausted my energy.
Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by idom101: 3:55pm On Jul 16, 2019
who ever created this thread God bless you, na so I dey laugh since I enter here. chai

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by dannybrasky(m): 4:01pm On Jul 16, 2019
That was like 18 years ago! My story don change my bro! Thanks for the prayer,I still embrace am,as I never reach where I dey go wink

Amyyy2020:
Chai! See hustle...

No worry, u go soon blow

7 Likes

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by Deicide: 4:03pm On Jul 16, 2019
This Thread is Amazing grin Am crying and Laughing at the same time just reading people experience.... People day suffer for this country o.

Its also disheartening to see Foreigners come into our Country and treat we the Citizens as trash! All in the name of Finding jobs, Nigeria where did we get things wrong?

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by generationz(f): 4:04pm On Jul 16, 2019
pocohantas:
One useless teaching job,

The pay was a little above 10k.

The principal used to send me to buy pepsi for him. Even send me back when it is not chilled enough.

Wetin I know na, just wanted to work. grin


grin

Lol na those kind principal sabi use teachers pass.

Fr 10k you will teach, further maths, chemistry , physics and biology.

They will still owe you at the end of the month o.

Later they will say Buhari is Nigeria's problem.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by samuelonyewueny(m): 4:04pm On Jul 16, 2019
Mine is a testimony..and I give all glory to God.
After NYSC I told myself I won't accept any job not inline with my course of study (I cannot come and waste school fees and my 5 years of my life to be an Engr.)...It was really tough sticking to that decision, but it paid off after much crying, fasting and praying.

backing up a little, so I got this contact for a teaching job in a private school. oya now conditions of service;
1. work mon. to sat.
2. report to work 7am daily
3. prepare huge lesson notes (my worst nightmare)
4. how much?? 20k..maybe not bad for a first timer

more conditions
YOU WOULD SUBMIT YOUR PHONE TO THE SCHOOL AUTHORITIES DURING SCHOOL HOURS (normally in most schools you just turn off your phone or something)...this really got me angry (not because i'm a phone freak) but cos I saw that place as a toxic work environment...knowing how i react when i done vex..i just jejely stay back @ home...didn't bother about the interview..

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is The Most Ridiculous Job Offer You Have Ever Received? by PrincessB1(f): 4:09pm On Jul 16, 2019
molybdenum0012:
Let me share another funny experience. This happened shortly after Sanwo-olu of Lagos won the gubernatorial election.

I was at home relaxing around 4pm on a certain Tuesday. Then a call came in, it was my cousin who is into politics.


He called me and asked me to hurriedly go to Ikeja GRA and meet someone there for a job. Like a fool I did not even bother to ask the kind of job it would be. In my mind, I felt it must be a gevernment job since Sanwo-olu just won the election and my cousin, being One of his campaign members, I felt he must get a slot for me in the ministry. How wrong!

Without delay, I neatly packed my CV and first and second degree certificates into my bag and set for the journey.

I got to the place around 6:30pm. I saw crowd of people celebrating Sanwon-Olu's win. I put a call through to the man I was to see and he directed me to wait for at the reception.
At the reception, I met about 4 guys, neatly dressed. I later knew we were waiting for the same person.

The man addressed us around 7:30, telling us we should come back the follwing morning around 6:30am, that the chairman that would address us was still celebrating. Well, I did not mind to come back the following day I felt it would be a good job.


The following morning I had woken up so early that I left home around 5:30am to beat the traffic. I got to the venue exactly 6:00am. I was the first person to get there. I was so well dressed that some of the security guy there thought I came from the governor's office. They even gave me a chair to sit.


Later the man in charge of the recruitment walked in. Then I started seeing some area boys/thugs, some did not wear clothes, some were smoking weeds. I began to wonder why they were there. I could not come to the term that they came for the same job I was there for.

Later, a man brought out a full scalp sheet for us to write our name and phone no. Before I knew what was happening the whole place was full with area boys. They too was there writing their name. Some of them could not write their name properly 'cos there are not educated. After written mine, I waited patiently for us to be addressed about the job description.


Meanwhile, I had earlier called my younger brother to join me there 'cos I thought we would be employed based on our educational qualification. Not long, my brother walked in and became angry seeing the caliber of people around there. Immidialtelt he left, saying it could not be a good job.


I remained there, I just wanted to be sure it was actually not what I thought. I could not believe my own cousin would ask me to come work with such caliber of people.

Later, we were asked to gather to be address about the job description. My brother I could not strand amount those guys. Some of them were smelling, with skin rashes all over their body, I had to stay somewhere far and listen to the man speak. Right there we were told we would be removing campaign posters from the street of Lagos and would work alongside LASA. Meanwhile the pay for the job was not mentioned. The man said it is between Sanwo-olu and God.. lol. I look myself from head to toes, I just pity my life.

Later we were given two white polos and a cap. I felt so disappointed and had to come back home without follwing them to LASA office that very day. The polos and cap they gave me, I just gave it out to someone at home.

It was really a horrible experience for me. I wasted more than 2k for transport and exhausted my energy.
Damn! See stress.

Your youngy was so smart grin

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