₦airaland Forum

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

Tunagee:
The truth is, we only courted for like a year plus, so I did not see a lot of things about her mum,but till she left, she had always been a well brought up girl, an introvert, and extremely faithful.

Tunagee:
Currently doing something

Tunagee:
So there is no for 'better for worse again'
Somebody told me that all women always destroy their husbands image in their family when they have issues. Does it apply to all women?

"Better for worse" keh..That's when the going is good, but when it gets tough, hmmmm. Let's not generalize though, we have few good ones

CaptainMitch:
I dont support verbal or emotional abuse, give her time to heal, marriage should be based on love not forced. Try to improve your income we all know money brings respect

Poorboy:
Don't be too emotionally attached to women if you do so suicide awaits you..... If you love with your whole heart then a big problem awaits you. ....


You said you're jobless and you feel a woman will love you, wake up brother and do something about your life.

Note as a man even if you marry a lady that loves you and Money stops coming the love she has for you will die naturally.

Not that you must be rich, but you must be working and be able to pay some bills.

Even in my house as a man the time my parents started respecting me is when I got a Federal Government job, I saw a different behavior from them...

Tunagee:
She started teaching when I lost my job, but prior, she was operating a shop. I heard she is working for her aunt presently

Lexusgs430:
Ever heard of a word called 'Divorce'?......

igetdata:
so for you, the best situation in this case is a divorce.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.
My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)
All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.
Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.
The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time.Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.
Pls advise on what to do.
We are legally married.

Lexusgs430:
Can't you see that the marriage is over.......... Marriage is for better, for worse..........

If he is not financially able, he is deemed useless.......

Martinez39:
Do you have children?

Kendumazy:
Will you take my advice? Shit happens in this life. Not until, when you started seeing everything as risk which end result you can't predict, you will live life better. Forget about all the emotional abuse etc. As a man you have every right to verbally abuse her in as much as she is the one that triggers it and she seems never ready to stop. You can as well verbal abuse her. Na blood dey run in your vein too. The strength to keep been silent over verbal abuse from a second party is a gift. Not everyone is gifted in such area. The ability to settle every abuses in a relationship is what keep most marriages till date most especially the ones both parties contributed to the abuse. Your wife triggers your anger which made you reacted but she is not ready to look at things in that way that she is also the cause.
Bro, life isn't hard! In as much as her mum is alive, there's little or nothing you can do. She will continue to control her daughter. Do you know why the woman keeps doing that shit as well? Because, you too, you give her the chance.
See, ignore them. Work on your life. The little you have, Send your kid upkeep to her via bank account for record purposes. Don't dwell much on the nonsense they are doing. You have tried enough. Go out there and make yourself happy. Trust me, when they see that, you don't send them again. Your wife will gradually come back to her senses and probably start fighting for her freedom from her mother. In short, stop being a sissy!

Tunagee:
A 6 year + boy

Kendumazy:
Will you take my advice? Shit happens in this life. Not until, when you started seeing everything as risk which end result you can't predict, you will live life better. Forget about all the emotional abuse etc. As a man you have every right to verbally abuse her in as much as she is the one that triggers it and she seems never ready to stop. You can as well verbal abuse her. Na blood dey run in your vein too. The strength to keep been silent over verbal abuse from a second party is a gift. Not everyone is gifted in such area. The ability to settle every abuses in a relationship is what keep most marriages till date most especially the ones both parties contributed to the abuse. Your wife triggers your anger which made you reacted but she is not ready to look at things in that way that she is also the cause.
Bro, life isn't hard! In as much as her mum is alive, there's little or nothing you can do. She will continue to control her daughter. Do you know why the woman keeps doing that shit as well? Because, you too, you give her the chance.
See, ignore them. Work on your life. The little you have, Send your kid upkeep to her via bank account for record purposes. Don't dwell much on the nonsense they are doing. You have tried enough. Go out there and make yourself happy. Trust me, when they see that, you don't send them again. Your wife will gradually come back to her senses and probably start fighting for her freedom from her mother. In short, stop being a sissy!

Poorboy:
Don't be too emotionally attached to women if you do so suicide awaits you..... If you love with your whole heart then a big problem awaits you. ....


You said you're jobless and you feel a woman will love you, wake up brother and do something about your life.

Note as a man even if you marry a lady that loves you and Money stops coming the love she has for you will die naturally.

Not that you must be rich, but you must be working and be able to pay some bills.

Even in my house as a man the time my parents started respecting me is when I got a Federal Government job, I saw a different behavior from them...

flexxyworld:
I'm sure you don't know the cost, the emotional stress and the long process in getting a divorce especially when you need too consider the kids too.. its not beans ooo

flexxyworld:
Well done sir.. I feel your plight but truth is your problem didn't start when you lost your job, it's been there but you were covered either by love and she was seduced by the funds you were making available but your inability too meet all her demands exposed it all.. fast forward too the issue at hand, it's a pity you might not win the war, I'm sure she's from a broken home or a home where the mother happens too be almighty. kindly be prayerful. may we never marry our enemy or a woman sent out too disorganise our life's. . she's was never your wife but it's too late, just take it easy. I pray God help you over come, the real fight isn't your wife anyways, it's her mother.. just my humble summation.

dirtydiva:
Who are my to judge when I hv not heard from both mouth and you nid to leave your wife as she is in safe hands and focus on how to start up again and once you start all over learn to control your house and I hope what you stated here are exactly what happened

stinflame:
When you used the word faithful wife I just laughed. Believe you me, cheating is not merely about committing adultery. It begins when one starts giving attention to another individual, who isn't their spouse. Believe you me, a woman normally acts up when they start giving attention to another and that person is doing some , for now truth be told u no longer the sugar In her tea, some one practically is, you no longer the one she yawn to talk to, make her hormones jump for joy. But believe you me some one definitely is. Your wife might not be cheating on u but trust me some one is taking her attention. All this can be seen in even an ordinary girlfriend who find another guy appealing than her guy. Little wrong from you will offend her, she won't want to give u a listening ear, cause she knows not talking to u wont swing her mood provided her admirer is there. My take is, stop begging for her attention, pretend like nothing bothers u. This in later run strike a chord in her, and most importantly make sure u making progress, go out and hussle and make ur mind occupy. She will be back and her admiring and u been her super hero will start all over again.
And most importantly sniff around, to find facts,and confront her with them amicable people become powerless when u know their secret.

theButterfly:
It's irresponsible for a grown woman of 40-years to leave her husband's home for her mother's for 10-months now and counting, not caring about your wellbeing or how you're faring. I suppose she took the child with her. You didn't admit any abuse or irresponsible behaviour on your part to have warranted such a move. The reasons you mentioned aren't enough for her to leave her matrimonial home, that is, if what you've written is the complete truth. She obviously doesn't want to be married to you anymore or has someone else she's not telling your about.

Tunagee:
I actually mentioned unguided vocal utterances due to impatience, anger and intolerance leading to emotional abuse cos she provokes me a lot.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.
My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)
All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.
Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.
The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time.Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.
Pls advise on what to do.
We are legally married.