₦airaland Forum

OmoAlata1:
You are an idiot for this comment. So bc there is no reassurance another man will marry her, it means she should stay in marriage where a man has no respect for her whatsoever. Is an identity of a woman ties to being Mrs? Since you are a man, if your wife is doing same as her husband to you, will you stay? Please don't advise someone to take something you can't take.

Sharp, sharp...insults have started flying

Oma307:
I can't remember quoting you before you insult people online. for your information I just air my opinion based on the op saying.
shalom

I respect your composure and patience..

Oma307:
I can't remember quoting you before you insult people online. for your information I just air my opinion based on the op saying.
shalom

I aired on my opinion too based on your post

1StopRudeness:
Sharp, sharp...insults have started flying

Look at busybody

OmoAlata1:
Look at busybody

I notice u have energy for insults, perhaps you derive some joy from it ...but Before u use me to score useless nairaland likes that cannot cash money in the bank.....let me take a hike...like the other man said.....Dey carry your wahala go



Oma307

Hey! don ever leave your marriage. You can only do this if the 2 parents were at loggerhead on your hubby decision. And pls, make sure you open up to family members that will help you. Don't die in silence. God will see you through.

1StopRudeness:
I notice u have energy for insults, perhaps you derive some joy from it ...but Before u use me to score useless nairaland likes that cannot cash money in the bank.....let me take a hike...like the other man said.....Dey carry your wahala go



Oma307

If you learn to mind your business and not come for me, I will not come for you. Now be gone.

OmoAlata1:
If you learn to mind your business and not come for me, I will not come for you. Now be gone.

Hahaahahahaha

Op, go through this thread and solve your issues with advises from there. https://www.nairaland.com/5359392/wife-cheat-need-advice. Advises emanating from here will be reeking of double standard.
Remember to do what you have to do for the sake of your sanity in life and above all, flee from a cheat or you will die prematurely.

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children. we started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year. About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business. 8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine. After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me. One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw). He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this. while growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

if you are pretty,educated and have a job,come to me.
I have money too,educated,handsome,from a good family and smart

Richy4:
Reading some of the heart breaking stories here on Nairaland sometimes makes me imagine/ wonder what the Reverend Fathers must have been hearing during confessions..

I can't just imagine how a man will look into his wife's eyes and say that he won't let got of the other woman.. That is the highest disrespect that...I'm speechless..

OP please tell me that you are not jobless.. because I can't see what will make a talented, young, beautiful 26yr old daughter of the land to remain in that house and swallow garnished Sh!t.. If he can't let go of her you should have shown some class and withdraw honourably..

Some times I blame parents for interfering and putting unnecessary pressure on their kids to get married.. it's not compulsory that every relationship must end in marriage..

Take your baby, Go to your parent's home and cool off temporarily...While you were there, Think if it was possible for you and your baby's to have a good life and future without him in the picture.. this is because He has made up his mind to have a second wife, The other woman has agreed to be in his life... So now the decision is yours to make if u want to be be the first wife or separate from that bull$h!t

If you were my sister, I would seriously advise that you don't allow your parent to reconcile this matter.. Let him finish what he has started.. because if they forced him to leave the other woman, his business might suffer..and his anger would be on u.. if you asked for an upkeep money... He will angrily tell u he doesn't have... He might be bold to tell you that the person helping him on his business is no longer there, where do u expect him to get money.. That I believe will hurt u..

If u are not working, dust your certificate and Start submitting CVs. At least within 5months u might get something... You rent a little granny flat and settle with your son.. suggesting that you go to your parents house was just for u to think.. not for u to bash him in any way... and it's not for intervention..

Well said 100%.

Very painful thread, imagine the height of disrespect, boldly to her face, smh!!!

A man who loves you will cheat but a man who loves God, like really loves God makes out to be a faithful husband. I wish every young woman out there got to see this!

Na wa oooh.

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

No man can intervene in your marriage but God. The ring he put on your finger at the altar is not for fashion or nothing. It's your covenant with God and your husband, you have every power over that man, go to God and remind him of that covenant, hold up that ring and pray and cry to God, it's not your battle to fight, the battle is of the lord and he has not lost any yet.

akinade28:
Life is full of ups and downs
Please get yourself together for the sake of your baby and your family. Because if you fall sick or die, he will still go about sleeping around, making your child motherless and throwing your parents and loved ones into mourning. Don't let your parents investment into your life come to a waste because of a man.
You can force a guy to be loyal or faithful to you, you can only try your best to be a good wife.
Please leave the marriage, if you can no longer endure it or it is affecting you psychologically.
Your child deserve the best of you.
Don't stay alone, you will just get depressed. Surround yourself with people you can trust and can make you laugh
Please focus on your goals and how to make your life and that of child better
I know it's not going to be easy, but I pray God strengthens you, and you will look back and smile at the end

Please are u married?

Na wa oo

I just finish reading an article from a man who him wife dey gv free pvssy service to any mofos yet una carry another version come eeeeh... MOD what's the problem nah?

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

Crying and starving yourself won’t change a thing. Put yourself together, be strong for your baby and leave his ass while you can, life goes on. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

And you came to Nairaland for advice. My dear wrong place.wrong move. If you are real, please seek advice somewhere else. Many of the people here don’t have boyfriend or girlfriend, not talking of wife or husband, or are even fathers or mothers. Many are social media kids, many are frustrated. Please seek for advice from respectable persons you know.

Sign the divorce paper. And get urself freedom . You are 26years. The bible says divorce is on the ground of infidelity. So go to court and save your life. That man must be a very ugly rogue to dare want to destroy you!

Please call a therapist or divorce him. Please leave us alone

This could be karmic, a cross you solely have to bear due to your past deeds. But that's by the way. Now, realistically, you'd need to calm down, relax, breathe in and out.

I don't envisage a divorce, as long as there isn't any form of physical abuse in your marriage, then that should be your last resort, Okay.

Your husband "should" have a mentor, I mean someone he looks up to in high regards, it could be his pastor, his parent, friend etc. Etc. I feel you should start by reporting him to this "mentor", because I feel your husband brain needs a factory reset. He has lost his path and he needs directions. If you as a wife is unable to help retrace his step, at least his mentor should.

Good luck dearie.

zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

Are you married?

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

None of his promises mean anything now as its piss and sh1t. He said there was nothing going on and yet there was. He lied and cheated so why take any poo promise of his serious.

Worst of all, he's marrying someone from a different religious and cultural background without any thought to how it would affect your life and that of your child.

To hell with him, you are free to walk out of the sham. Tell his parents, tell your parents.

This poo is not something you two can sort out alone.

Women are the enemy of other women

OmoAlata1:
I don't understand why women cheapen themselves like this all because you want to maintain Mrs status and you don't want society to ridicule you. That man has no respect for you at all, and he is doing it because he knows you are not going anywhere. He is very confident he will get his cake and eat it. You think if the case was reversed, he would still be around crying and begging for you to love him.

Please learn to love and fall in love with yourself. Value yourself and instill a lot of self worth in your life. No man is worth dying for, if you die today, he will still enjoy himself.

Get a job, make money and put yourself in a financially stable place. Life doesn't end if a man is not in your life.

Are you married.

If No, you're not qualified to counsel.. This is a dangerous counsel.

Talk to God in prayers

Since ur marriage was registry, u r d wife no other. He can't marry a second wife d law doesn't allow for that. Just make sure d marriage certificate is safe with u. If he tries or attempt to go for a second wife, first get ur family to b informed. If he doesn't rescind d decision, get a lawyer to write him and remind him of d implications of running fail of d marriage Act. He should let him know that bigamy is a serious criminal offence that will land him in prison and tarnish his future.

DATMAT:
send his number to me I will counsel him... though this might sound funny...

Thank you.

Did you discuss your values and beliefs with this negroe while you were dating? or you were already playing husband and wife?

Your story reveals that both of you have been fornicating and even decided to get pregnant 1st before making your union legal.

The both of you laid a very bad foundation. No deep discussions, just sex and running domestic chores.

He has zero morals and you lowered your own standards to suite his. You have shown him that anything goes. Look at the negroe asking you to show him where it is written that polygamy is bad. What were you expecting. hmn!!

God wasn't high when He laid down certain rules. Break it, you pay. Marriage doesn't make saints out of people with weak spirituality.

Only you can decide what to do in this marriage of incompatibility.