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My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Man Storms Hotel, Finds His Wife Cheating On Him With A Certain Big Man / Don’t Kill Your Husband. This Is How To Deal With Him If He Is Cheating On You / My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by schamch: 12:45am On Aug 16, 2019
Your husband has been 'captured' by that other woman .she is actually using remote control on him& it's a pity it would take long b4 he comes back to his senses. The options are two; either you accept the situation and start living with the lady or you make up your mind & leave the man if he is adamant. The second option is the best,though it appears tough at initial stage. I'm a man and I have had a similar experience, so I know how badly it hurts but you just have to take a bold decision and enjoy your life later.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by bitingcool: 12:47am On Aug 16, 2019
Op.

So many women have experienced this.
A phase where a man's dick is pointing to all the edges of other women's compass
Here is what you do IF you want to stay in your home
1. Pray. Nothing is too big for God to handle. Pray for wisdom for yourself, pray for help for your husband
1a. OPEN YOUR MOUTH: This one don pass ' we settle our differences as a couple. Sisterly, una coupleship don wear elastic band. Report to his family with alacrity. His mother and father and everyone. If you want to save small face for him , don't tell your family because they will never see any good in him till he dies. Talk to his closest friends too...they may help reset his brain
2. Watch yourself. Even though you're breastfeeding, it's not a licensed to become a pig. Have u blown out of proportion, get back in shape
3. Plan. Do U have a job, do U have a business idea... Start acting.. even if it's to sell online or on Instagram. Don't depend on any man for money. Hold your side well well... Start planning in case go no go
4. Be wise: give him sexx but make sure you use condom, don't close leg and drive him further into the hands of Jezebel. Create an aura of mystery around yourself. Look exciting and attractive. You mentioned you dated for 7 years.. that's enough to make a man want fresh excitement. I'm sure U have very few friends.
Start talking on d phone to people... leave the room at times when your phone rings... Even if it's you calling yourself. Create a newness around you ( I don't care + I care, U be woman U go sabi am)...both of you have seen the 12 walls of una kpekusss... D pikin don widen am sef... Excitement must be low at this point
5. Express:When you're angry, pour out your mind to d cheating husband let him feel the heat.
6. Don't cry. Crying has never solved anything. Make yourself more reliant and call him out for his bullshit. Demand he needs to cut his assoxiation with the lady despite his feelings...U will let him see d log in his eye if he is too blind to see it. If he still has a little fear of God, U must plant the seed that makes him know his romance is ungodly and bitter. give him other sources of business prosperity he has abandoned because he feels the lady is d main source of his growth. Learn about his business too. People with like interests always find themselves togetther. Donr restrict your interests to your threatened love and the child between you. Don't pamper him in his adultery. Still be the supportive wife...show love but be firm but in everything, run to God because your parents sef, are not perfect. I have to warn you., If he has a cheating tendency, this behaviour may repeat itself again.. with another woman if he doesn't discipline himself. so be strong and live your life to the fullest...as an individual and a wife

Remember, this is my advice if you don't want to let go ooo

There's no direct steps to reinging in a horseband...but there's nothing God cannot do.
I won't advise you to leave if you know deep down he's a good man because there's no guarantee the next man won't be worse.... But if go no go, let God lead you. Marriage is deep.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by akdjr(m): 12:49am On Aug 16, 2019
Just beg him to be using protection so he doesn't get infection. Life is so sweet to bother about a man, cos not matter how you treat him the man will never be satisfied according to my mum. quote author=miss00000 post=81278314]We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.[/quote]
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by RealAdewole(m): 12:50am On Aug 16, 2019
miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

Maybe you should file for divorce
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by Martinez39(m): 12:55am On Aug 16, 2019
Too bad. Either you leave the marriage and dump him or you endure. That's all. The man isn't going to change.
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by elkharpone: 12:56am On Aug 16, 2019
zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.
Thank you for such a great advice
Not like all these mofos saying there's nothing she can do but to endure
Madam should leave the marriage, it is as simple as ABC
You caught the situation at a very early stage and you're still asking for advice
Better leave him and take your child along
Next thing our second wife will want to do is to get rid of you totally, you know what I mean right?
Do you know the kind of mind a lady has to have just to fornicate with a married man?
That lady can do anything to be number one in his life
I'm sure you wouldn't want your child to be motherless.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by bitingcool: 1:01am On Aug 16, 2019
Whoeppme:
Go find his bank account, empty it then move on...if you can't empty the account yourself, Gboys full ground. Na only percentage we go collect... Waiting for your message.

No mind the dick head husband of yours. He is just a small boy. Hand never touch am e go behave...

Lolll, nobody go fit mess with your sister ooo.
Your comment actually shows love and concern to the op. But no dey do gthings my gee. D guy need some clearance make him eye clear. He go come humble, come dey go midweek church service sef, because d money wey remain, na police investigation he go finish am put. He go come lean. Love matter go be like Greek for him ear. Make he come get small accident dey use crutches sef so that his 3rd leg no go dey wander about. Lollllll. An eye for an eye dey sweet at times cheesy grin grin

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by oluwamile(m): 1:02am On Aug 16, 2019
Please just leave the marriage,ur still very young,ho to ur fathers house and let ur parents know what is going on in ur marriage,dont think ur too mature to handle this..

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by bitingcool: 1:09am On Aug 16, 2019
uuzba:

I really pity the OP
You dated the guy for 6years
And in all that time, you didn't see his character?
When OP said when got pregnant BEFORE wedding, I knew something was wrong with both OP and husband
WAIT AND MARRY FIRST, you will not hear.
The man MAN CANNOT CONTROL his sexual urge, that is why he got you pregnant out of wedlock.
Now you've married, you thought it is over?
Shey you are seeing now that it isn't over?
He is trying to justify his uncontrollable sexual desire by quoting Bible.

You guys are so holy, why didn't you marry in church?

Aunty, this is your problem. You lied to yourself. You have to face whatever shit you get until your husband has a change of heart.

Sit down with him and tell him both of you did a bad thing from the start.
Confess, repent and start again

What a great advise... Spent blaming than looking for a solution. I pity those that work under you. Na die they dey

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by friendl: 1:10am On Aug 16, 2019
zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

I know your type ,you might be the lady in question

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by tunwumi: 1:28am On Aug 16, 2019
Hello madam,
This is a very delicate balance that have no template of solution. Are you working and making money? If yes don't play with your job so you won't be a slave to a man. If no, dust you credentials or get a venture. Be careful of what you do with advises. They will poison your mind and it will become more dangerous situation.

You have to be patient here as his reason for getting into this is money. I can assure you that it is only patience and calmness at all time that can safe you. If anything goes wrong you will be blame in all cases. Just see him as your boyfriend which he is and don't expect anything from him. He may change or he may not. Whichever way the choice is always yours.


miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by davnery123(m): 1:32am On Aug 16, 2019
Madam beer it with time God will touch his heart he will change for good they is no perfect marriage every body has his or her own ups and down so take heart and be strong
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by bmos(m): 1:33am On Aug 16, 2019
majamajic:
hmmm


You started your marriage on a wrong footing. You started firing each other just after proposal. Is that God ordained stsps to marriage?
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by charmzy58: 1:34am On Aug 16, 2019
madridguy:
Your husband is the type that make woman to be looking for remote control all over places. Just a year marriage he's already talking about second wife.
I will suggest you discuss the issue with your parent for quick intervention.
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by dalass(f): 1:38am On Aug 16, 2019
Wow...men shocked shocked shocked

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by ddeola: 1:41am On Aug 16, 2019
He's making a mistake. I pray God opens his eyes to see that there is more to it than him just formalising things with this strange lady

However, I think it's good to inform his parents.
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by cococandy(f): 1:46am On Aug 16, 2019
Please dump his fvcking idiotic ass.

If he won’t accept apologies and gifts from you as a compensation for having another man on the side who you don’t plan to leave, there’s no reason why you should accept such from him.

The nerve

9 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by cococandy(f): 1:47am On Aug 16, 2019
davnery123:
Madam beer it with time God will touch his heart he will change for good they is no perfect marriage every body has his or her own ups and down so take heart and be strong

Hope you wait for God to change your woman’s heart while she’s frolicking with other men.
Hypocritical advice

6 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by cococandy(f): 1:48am On Aug 16, 2019
At 26 I wonder why she has to let a man walk all over her like that.

Not even at 50 should any women allow that happen to her. much less when she’s in her prime.

zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

8 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by donifez(m): 1:52am On Aug 16, 2019
After reading the other post where the man complained of his wife cheating on him and now reading this, I can only say, most of us are HYPOCRITES.

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by cococandy(f): 1:54am On Aug 16, 2019
It’s not by force to be married to someone.
If he doesn’t want, she should not try to hold him to herself.

Frankly she’s better off without him.
bekpo:
Since ur marriage was registry, u r d wife no other. He can't marry a second wife d law doesn't allow for that. Just make sure d marriage certificate is safe with u. If he tries or attempt to go for a second wife, first get ur family to b informed. If he doesn't rescind d decision, get a lawyer to write him and remind him of d implications of running fail of d marriage Act. He should let him know that bigamy is a serious criminal offence that will land him in prison and tarnish his future.

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by cococandy(f): 1:54am On Aug 16, 2019
You surprised?
donifez:
After reading the other post where the man complained of his wife cheating on him and now reading this, I can only say, most of us are HYPOCRITES.

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by citadels(f): 1:55am On Aug 16, 2019
If you can private chat me I will tell you how to handle it best.
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by Nobody: 1:56am On Aug 16, 2019
omg shocked
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by Nobody: 1:57am On Aug 16, 2019
Seeking counsel from Nairalanders will be more complicated for you than your present state.......
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by citadels(f): 2:00am On Aug 16, 2019
If you marry okwu if you no marry wahala. I brown skin girl don't understand again oo.
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by donifez(m): 2:04am On Aug 16, 2019
cococandy:
You surprised?
I never knew we were operating on this level. Damn.
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by millionboi2: 2:16am On Aug 16, 2019
Richy4:
Reading some of the heart breaking stories here on Nairaland sometimes makes me imagine/ wonder what the Reverend Fathers must have been hearing during confessions..

I can't just imagine how a man will look into his wife's eyes and say that he won't let got of the other woman.. That is the highest disrespect that...I'm speechless..

OP please tell me that you are not jobless.. because I can't see what will make a talented, young, beautiful 26yr old daughter of the land to remain in that house and swallow garnished Sh!t.. If he can't let go of her you should have shown some class and withdraw honourably..

Some times I blame parents for interfering and putting unnecessary pressure on their kids to get married.. it's not compulsory that every relationship must end in marriage..

Take your baby, Go to your parent's home and cool off temporarily...While you were there, Think if it was possible for you and your baby's to have a good life and future without him in the picture.. this is because He has made up his mind to have a second wife, The other woman has agreed to be in his life... So now the decision is yours to make if u want to be be the first wife or separate from that bull$h!t

If you were my sister, I would seriously advise that you don't allow your parent to reconcile this matter.. Let him finish what he has started.. because if they forced him to leave the other woman, his business might suffer..and his anger would be on u.. if you asked for an upkeep money... He will angrily tell u he doesn't have... He might be bold to tell you that the person helping him on his business is no longer there, where do u expect him to get money.. That I believe will hurt u..

If u are not working, dust your certificate and Start submitting CVs. At least within 5months u might get something... You rent a little granny flat and settle with your son.. suggesting that you go to your parents house was just for u to think.. not for u to bash him in any way... and it's not for intervention..





wait till u marry


#shit plenty4marriage oooo
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by DateMynd44(m): 2:18am On Aug 16, 2019
missjo:
If I had to guess,I'd say you are mostly dependent on that filth of a husband for your financial sustenance.
mind your words young lady that's still her husband for God's sake? we know his actions are wrong but you're hurting the lady the more by calling her husband a filth. Damn do u Even know what that Word means?
Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by Baselm: 2:39am On Aug 16, 2019
Why would any sane person advise her to leave her matrimonial home, because the husband is emotionally attached to another lady?? All these NL oloshos forming feminist advice.
I will advise you to stay in your place and continue with whatever you have going on for you, channel your love to your child and get a job or face your business and continue to pray.
Focus more on your life than the prayers, it should be a side hustle.
If you must, confide in your pastor and parents to pray with you and probably counsel him.
Leave when your life is being threatened, otherwise don't leave, do the things that make you happy, he will come to his senses soon.

If you leave
1) you abandoned your home for someone else to take over. you have made them winners
2) you will deprive your child of the love of both parents.
3) as much as polygamy scares you, have you given having different baby Daddys a thought? or have you given being Single for a large part of your life a thought?

STAY FOR AS LONG AS YOU ARE SAFE AND FOCUS ON PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT, YOUR CHILD AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by cuteboy2: 2:39am On Aug 16, 2019
I'm just amazed at how quickly women are so quick to dish out advice that the woman should pack out of her matrimonial home.

Some are chronic spinsters with many years of cognate experience with no husband in view. If they get to know OP's hussy, they will snatch him in a heart beat. Most who are married are enduring worst things from thier husbands, including beatings, bringing women home, and deporting them to the spare room. Yet, they put up with thier "sweet and loving" husband in public for years. Here they are telling the OP to move out without getting all the facts. Haba!

1. Is this man a Muslim? If yes, is he not entitled to 4 wives?

2. The husband might not even be doing this with clear eyes. Who knows if the business partner lady has not jazzed him. So counseling for both parties is the best option.

3. Is the husband the only child or only male child? In this case, polygamy might even be encouraged by his parents to keep the family lineage. I personally do not support polygamy.

4. Judging situations based on the story from one party is always risky, because the person who feels hurt always loads the account in a way that favors him or her . If the husband was to tell his own side of the story, we will form a very different opinion. So both parties should approach a professional Counselor .

Finally, divorce is never a pleasant thing. It is especially traumatic on the children. If the man is not physically abusive and provides for her family , I don't advise it

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by ityP(m): 2:47am On Aug 16, 2019
Khemhyte:
Another one here. Your marriage is too early to experience this now. And to think baby creates more bonding between husband and wife instead he is creating a drift inorder to embrace another Eve in such a recent period.

He is solely yours, don't be intimidated by his words, your actions will either make him proceed or stay put.
Since he has stylishly made his intention known to you, have a deep talk with him first, why he want to do so, if he needs your support in his business...put cry cry and weakness aside; have heart to heart talk with him. I think him being close to that lady is the fire here with a burning effect on you without smelling the smoke in time.

Inform your people and his parent aswell, don't do solo now biko. If your relationship with his parent is a good one then you are on a winning side and you will come out victorious.
And don't forget that prayer is the Master Key.
Snap into Action Madam!


Babies do not create more bond between husband and wife. They divide it sef.

1 Like

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