₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
Thank you o...a very simple matter. In fact, they shouldn't have wasted money on a big ceremony in the first place.

Very simple option to take ... The kind of thing we hear happening in reality these days are things we thought only exists in soap opera..

Can you imagine such nightmare? How will that girl ever forgive the father for that? The money spent on food, clothes everything

Anyways he did it because he knows that the daughter has no place in her heart for him

A friend's wedding didn't hold because of something similar. Friend's dad insisted he was only going to hand over his daughter to the fil representative (fil is late). That's where the wahala started. After fil passed and the family abandoned her and the kids, she changed their surname when she became a Christian. Groom's paternal family said she should change the name of they wanted to be part of the wedding. Infact, too many things were dug up that even the groom was not aware of. So much money was spent in preparation.

The man is already married. He and his wife did enjoy their lives. He must have known that the bride's paternal family were not in the picture.

No wonder they were not even told.

But that kind wedding its hush hush they do it na and then send their own portion of the list of items brought to them, no need to make it loud.

peepydelano:
ebira tribe from okene Kogi State.The bride is cooling her head in admission now due to the unexpected shock,and according to the bride's paternal family,there was no marriage

Where were they when she was growing up?

Mizwisdom:
Where were they when she was growing up?

They are not bothered about that aspect.

peepydelano:
They are not bothered about that aspect.

Then their opinion shouldn't hold water. She's already married, all she needs is to legalize it with a simple court marriage. That's all, once she does this let us see how her paternal family will annul it

Unfortunately it is poor people these things happen to. They should go to court and marry first, that one it's own is marriage, and her brothers or cousins can collect her bride price, her father's people don't have to be there.

Imagine a woman of calibre like Deziani raising her kids alone without help from her husband's family, and they will now have the guts to show up on her daughter's wedding day?
Even me like this, if God forbid i had to raise my kids alone, and my children's father did not participate in their life what so ever, they definitely won't even be aware that a marriage is happening.
They definitely also won't dare step foot at that wedding..like it won't even occur to them to try it.

I just imagine my father's brothers having an opinion on anything that concerns me or my siblings lol..as what? People that have ever bought us biscuit?

i think it's people that needs external validation that things like this can happen to.

Richy4:
Maybe you dI'd not understand me.. hope I wasn't speaking German.. I guess U quoted me wrongly... all I was saying is this, if the groom should send a picture of his court marriage to his 'father in law ' after what they did to him, I won't blame him for that..

There isn't even a FIL as her father is late. It's just some end time father's relatives that decided to ruin her wedding. Terrible lot

This! Had to check your gender again tho

Richy4:
People are really quick to pass judgment.. there's nothing new based on that fact..
They didn't know how the mother managed when the girl was sick.. How she might have had a sleepless night thinking about where the next school fees might come from.. how they will eat, if the landlord will chase them away due to inability to pay rent.. they don't know and they don't care... If the man was not there during all these storms in her life , why is it necessary to invite him when the ocean is calm..

People especially Nigerians should differentiate between a father and a sperm donor.. The difference is clear..

Shame on that paternal family. Filthy lot

This is how families create problems (including spiritual battles) for generations.

Traditional marriage is a custom, even the court/registry has its procedures (a notice is placed for public approval before any joining can take place). If you want to lie or conduct a secret cult-like marriage because of your disgusting and dirty secrets or the hate in your extended family, at least do it with SENSE.

Any mother that takes the bride price and other traditional marriage rites without delivering such to the appropriate quarters is a witch (imagine giving her daughter's bride price to her brothers after her late husband ate other people's bride price. What nonsense!). More importantly, any woman that hides her family issues from her to-be husband is capable of murder. Liars and deceitful lots.

I pity the men on this thread, especially those dancing to the tunes of a lying woman. A woman you have just met should not cause confusion and troubles in a peaceful family you've known for at least 30 years of your life. You're m a d if you allow that happen.

virgoquin:
[s]stupid and useless paternal family that are trying to reap where they did not sow.

You never cared about their existence and welfare but now that they have found joy you came to scatter it. This one is what is called daylight witchcraft.

They should go to the court and complete the wedding[/s]

Only a useless man or a vegetable will proceed to court with the deceitful family to complete that wedding.

Bride price is meant for the man's (husband's) family whether late or alive, whether they care or not. The extended family is not bound by any traditional or customary law to take care of anyone. Bridal lists emanate from only one place -- The family of the man (not the wife's siblings).

Ignorant generation of effeminate woman wrappers.

cococandy:
Shame on that paternal family. Filthy lot

Ignorant talk as usual

bukatyne:
I read it which I think is a joke.

In most Nigerian culture, paternal families are involved in weddings.

Well said. It is a norm whether you love them or not.

I sincerely pity the men on this thread for some reasons. A woman and her daughter conspire against her husband's family (because they didn't care? lol), and they think their wives and daughters would not do same to them someday.

Chai, I see many regrets in the future.

Gloriagee:
This! Had to check your gender again tho

My mother raised me right.. I am proud of her. and my Dad raised a gentleman with Class... what kind of male species were u surrounded with that made u have some doubt

@op
Seems ebira people share some similarities with the igbos....

Now tell your friend this:

whether the groom spent 20million or not, no marriage has happened traditionally.

He may choose to go to the registry,if he likes but he is just postponing his days of agony.. If he marries that girl in court and let's say something unfortunate like death befalls her, he go hear am and also no matter the numbers of children the woman bore him, they all belong to her father..

Can he stand this?


If he still want to marry the girl, he should do all the necessary things...

Those people had pity on them small.. I have witness such occurrence.. The wedding was totally disrupted.

The girl's mother was billed a penalty fee of 500,000..

All these people shouting reaping where he has not sown, una never see anything. This is Africa.. We have culture

Cee9:
@op
Seems ebira people share some similarities with the igbos....

Now tell your friend this:

whether the groom spent 20million or not, no marriage has happened traditionally.

He may choose to go to the registry,if he likes but he is just postponing his days of agony.. If he marries that girl in court and let's say something unfortunate like death befalls her, he go hear am and also no matter the numbers of children the woman bore him, they all belong to her father..

Can he stand this?


If he still want to marry the girl, he should do all the necessary things...

Those people had pity on them small.. I have witness such occurrence.. The wedding was totally disrupted.

The girl's mother was billed a penalty fee of 500,000..

All these people shouting reaping where he has not sown, una never see anything. This is Africa.. We have culture

That's the norm in ALL families where bride price and bridal lists are a norm.

How can a woman collect bride price and share with her siblings because the late husband's family didn't "care"?

I was and still am surrounded by classy folks. Have to take back my compliment... the insulting question is unwarranted, in my opinion.

Richy4:
My mother raised me right.. I am proud of her. and my Dad raised a gentleman with Class... what kind of male species were u surrounded with that made u have some doubt

Stop coating barbaric and uncharitable acts as culture. Culture ko, culture ni

Cee9:
@op
Seems ebira people share some similarities with the igbos....

Now tell your friend this:

whether the groom spent 20million or not, no marriage has happened traditionally.

He may choose to go to the registry,if he likes but he is just postponing his days of agony.. If he marries that girl in court and let's say something unfortunate like death befalls her, he go hear am and also no matter the numbers of children the woman bore him, they all belong to her father..

Can he stand this?


If he still want to marry the girl, he should do all the necessary things...

Those people had pity on them small.. I have witness such occurrence.. The wedding was totally disrupted.

The girl's mother was billed a penalty fee of 500,000..

All these people shouting reaping where he has not sown, una never see anything. This is Africa.. We have culture

.

Some family members does not have shame. Where were they when the bride needed them ? Nonsense, so they now want to eat where they did not sow. Good punish Satan. I will even blame the bride mum for allowing them to come into the wedding venue at first .

You will not respect yourself now

Acidosis:
Ignorant talk as usual

cococandy:
You will not respect yourself now

Shut up

I know of an ex whose mum gave her out in marriage, her mum also collected bride price and the necessary items on the traditional list she gave out to the groom. On her wedding day, her elder brother walked her down the aisle and stood as her father.
This happened coz according to my ex, her late father's family abandoned them when her father died, and her mum single handedly trained four of them.

Acidosis:
That's the norm in ALL families where bride price and bridal lists are a norm.

How can a woman collect bride price and share with her siblings because the late husband's family didn't "care"?

Sure

The bride's paternal family should immediately be arrested and jailed for causing kiosk and havoc

peepydelano:
Reasons the mom gave was that she see no reasons involving them since she has been solely responsible for her and her siblings after their fathers death and no one cared from their father's side if they existed or not.I stated that in the post

My take is it's obvious he's dealing with dangerous people, if I were him there only two routes to take.....
I go to the family and make peace if I truly love the girl
Or I abscond for my life.....I cannot comman die because of love....
#Shalom!

Go for court wedding . The paternal fam are useless people. U can't reap where u no sow

JeffreyJames:
The Paternal family dey vex cos them no see bride price money chop. Lmao..


What tribe?

me self day wait for d tribe o
but d bride messed up,u kw how ur family people take day, instead of them to do d wedding at a low key, but they broadcast d wedding, everywhere and she knw how diabolical africa is,

nuelyoyo:
I know of an ex whose mum gave her out in marriage, her mum also collected bride price and the necessary items on the traditional list she gave out to the groom. On her wedding day, her elder brother walked her down the aisle and stood as her father.
This happened coz according to my ex, her late father's family abandoned them when her father died, and her mum single handedly trained four of them.

my guy it happens every where, it's for ur own safety, it's better d other heartless family don't hear, I have seen situation where d girls father people didn't come for the daughter wedding and d mother people only few of them because of their wickedness, they girl jejely do d wedding born pikin. move on with her life, ,when u jam some diabolic family u wil wish u were not just born, inviting them to ur wedding or giving them invitation is at ur own peril

peacefulhome:
Some family members does not have shame. Where were they when the bride needed them ? Nonsense, so they now want to eat where they did not sow. Good punish Satan. I will even blame the bride mum for allowing them to come into the wedding venue at first .

same with me I blame even d mother, they should have done a very low key occasion, even without posting on social media,cus I believe those family members got to kw thru social media, may b d girl is a friend to one of the partanal people, na them do their self