DikeDiMighty:
I was going through this section and I saw this thread where a guy was saying virginity is the best marriage gift to give a man.

https://www.nairaland.com/5152538/virginity-best-wedding-gift-man

My take on this is that, while a women keeping her virginity till marriage is all well and good(from the moral or religious standpoint), what about the man?. In this part of the world, men feel it is their right to demand lofty characteristics from women, characteristics which they themselves don't possess. If a woman should keep her virginity till marriage as a gift, then is it not only proper for the man to reciprocate?. Sadly, that is not the case. We view men losing their virginity long before marriage as a normal phenomenon,but if a woman does the same, she is slut-shamed and the act is tagged an fornication/abomination (even by men who, ironically,have slept with myriads of other girls).

Now, I am not preaching gender equality, because I don't even believe in that. But some things are just logical and fair. A man should also be willing to keep his virginity till marriage if he is expecting to marry a virgin wife. You can't be expecting to marry a virgin when you yourself are not one, what make you better that her then?, It is paining you that other men have slept with her,but you reason that it is cool for you to have slept with other women right?, What about the other women you slept with and even took their virginity?.

All these stem from the subconscious believe in Africa that women are the property of their husbands. I feel that is chauvinistic and only a step away from master-slave mentality. We need to change this mindset. A woman is as much her husband's property as her husband is her property.

That is my take.

lagosminded:


Wow

blesskewe:
True talk
And one idiot said based on the fact that she's his wife he can tell her to kneel From morning till evening nothing will happen

khia:


Hopefully you can move on and start your own gay website for your kind so the rest of us don't have to puke with the mental image of your foul behavior.

DikeDiMighty:
There is nothing fouler or viler than an uncouth woman

lagosminded:


I am curious, why don’t you believe in gender equality when you espouse its principles?

khia:

Besides an uncouth man. Don't take it personal, I don't blame you for loving the pe.nis.

My best friend ❤️ is gay.

DikeDiMighty:
Personal?, Of course not. If a leashed dog were to bark at you behind it's owners picket,would you take it personal?. That is a figure of speech by the way

Come on, we are just having fun.

Best wishes to your best friend then, I hope you don't give him/her too much grief?.

khia:


Give him grief about his sexuality, never? He has been my best friend ❤️ since we were 6 years old and I have mentioned that several times on this forum. If I need something he is always there to help and vice versa.

DikeDiMighty:
Nice, he is a good friend then.

DikeDiMighty:
I am more of a realist. The psychological and genetic composition of the female species places her below the male. These taxonomic discrepancies are further reinforced by social myths(such as religion, culture, education, ideology, etc) which govern the existence of the human race.

For example, almost every monotheistic religion on Earth perceive God to be a man, the polytheistic ones have weaker godesses compared to their male counterparts (you see the gods given celestial portfolios over warfare, battle, lightening, sun, ocean, etc, while the goddesses occupy the terrain of love, fertility, etc). Knowing that religion is intrinsic to social dynamics, you can just imagine how this system of worship would subconciously affect the way the female species is generally perceived.

Same goes for culture and other social myths. So, my point is that, women are wired to be slightly inferior to men in nature, but equal to men in biological essence, hence, why I believe they should be treated with equal respect.

khia:


I was nice to him and welcomed him but after his rude response to some questions I asked him, I decided to return the gesture.

blesskewe:
True talk
And one idiot said based on the fact that she's his wife he can tell her to kneel From morning till evening nothing will happen

Funmmyastic:
Nice one Op.
A man sleeping around like a dog does not deserve a virgin lady.

lagosminded:


Oh ok, lol I didn’t know you guys had a history.

lagosminded:


The equality in “gender equality” is not literal, it references access to equal opportunities. Also, women were deemed inferior at a time when physical strength was coveted.

DikeDiMighty:
Women cannot have access to equal opportunities with men because of their natural psychological, social and genetic deficiencies.

For instance, very few women are security experts, military officers or generals because, of course, the military values strength over all other qualities, and women aren't generally as strong as men(hence why they rarely go to war). The political class all over the world is dominated by men because women are burdened with social duties such as raising children, which dulls the momentum of their ambitions. The religious class all over the world is dominated by men because men are perceived to possess an higher emotional quotient and charisma for leadership, which naturally makes them look more credible than women(also, such religious roles are very time consuming, which prevent most women who have other social duties from aspiring. In some cases, religion doctrines even outrightly forbids women leadership, as seen in Christianity and Islam).

So, when men are in charge of the political, military, religious and even economic affairs of a society, do you ever expect equality?, women can never get equal opportunities in such a social setting. The opportunities belongs to men,and it is them who decides whether to share with women or not.

The best we can work towards is gender equity, not equality.

lagosminded:


I think you are very wrong and I don’t agree with you. You just typed how society defines and treats the differences in genders. With each successes of the gender equality movement, society has been proven wrong about their pre-defined roles of genders. There were some roles/jobs that society never thought women could do, yet here we are. No human being should be made inferior because of how they are made. Also, not everyone conforms to a gender stereotype, that’s why everyone irrespective of gender should have equal access and opportunities.

There are some men that don’t want to fight in a war, while there are some women that embrace combat. Those women were previously denied that opportunity because of their gender, feminism exists to change that. Equality- equal opportunities and access irrespective of gender.

DikeDiMighty:
The mere existence of the human society is due to the fact that we believe in the society, otherwise,we'd all be like animals.

What I mean is that, the reason why for example, Nigeria exists today is because we all believe that there is an entity called Nigeria, if we cease to believe it, then Nigeria wouldn't exist.

Same way it is with women and gender equality. The society defined a woman as she is, and the only way you can change that is if society itself ceases to exist. Which is impossible.

That is why I said that what you are dreaming of is an unfeasible utopia where men and women have equal opportunities, it is impossible. Not even just because of society,but also due to natural limitations of the female species.

The best we can have is equity, where women would be treated fairly based on their capabilities and roles in society. Nobody will hand women opportunities on a platter of gold no matter the agitation, and women do not have the wherewithal to seize those opportunities themselves. It is the way humanity has become wired.

lagosminded:


If others that came before you had accepted society’s defined roles on gender and race, you and I would still be in chains.

Humans make up a society and humans set the rules. Nothing is set in stone, rules and expectations change as society evolves. Nothing good happens when we accept the status quo. There is nothing about women that make them inferior, biology or otherwise. It’s humans that decided women should be inferior and you have been indoctrinated to parrot this fallacy.

It’s your choice and right not to believe in gender equality, fortunately the success of the movement doesn’t depend on your approval. There are people that came before you that made possible the new rights that most women now enjoy today, and there are people that will pick up the mantle after you are long gone.

DikeDiMighty:
I agree, the success of gender equality is neither dependent on me nor you.

Which is why such a notion will never succeed, because there can never be a universal conflagration on the subject. Hundreds of millions out there do not believe even in gender equity talkless of equality, some such as I, believe in a concession, a middle ground which I call gender equity, fewer still hold the believe of gender equality. Infact,the ideas you champion is more of gender equity than gender equality.

As long as Christianity and Islam suppresses women and dictates their roles as subservient to men, then I see no way the idea can succeed. I sometimes see christian feminists and I wonder what exactly they understand by feminism or christianity, how can a person be both?,they are two polar idealogies.

So unless we eradicate religion,culture, education,science and other social myths from society(i.e eradicate society itself), then gender equality is a fallacy.