Good day House.

Please, I need the response of only married couples.

Also, kindly indicate your sex.

My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now. We are blessed with two kids.
During courtship, we agreed that we will have a joint budget which will be funded by the income of both of us.

Initially, I was the only one working, with take-home pay of 40k. She then got a job of about 36k. back then, she would
withdraw her salary and hand it over to me. What I usually do is to hand it over to her and ask her to use it for feeding
while I take care of all other expenses with my salary.

My salary is now about 95k and her's 65k. Our children's school fees, house rent, feeding etc have all increase, no thanks to the current economic realities!

My wife stopped handing over are salary and insisted that I should be giving her feeding money. I clearly explained to her that my income can not accommodate feeding, for now, explaining clearly how I spend my salary and other income but she still insisted that I should be giving her feeding money

The thing is she is into so many saving schemes, without my approval. She just wants to save money!
She is insecure and doesn't trust me. She wants her own stuff: her own car, her own house, etc.

I have never cheated on her, I pay the rents, school fees, paid for her post-graduate programme, buy foodstuffs occasionally etc.

What should I do?

Give her 1k every month. You and your's will be blessed.

Yes a wife should submit her salary to her man, she should also submit her pvssy, her love, her time and most importantly her life to her man.

The woman belongs to the man, so far he has paid her bride price. Anything the man tells his woman she should do, she must do it, if he tells her to eat grass she must do it, if he tells her to kneel down to serve his food she must do it.

A man is a Lord while a woman is a maid.

budaatum:
Give her 1k every month. You and your's will be blessed.

For only married couples, please!

Jayslicky:
Yes a wife should submit her salary to her man, she should also submit her pvssy, her love, her time and her life to her man.

The woman belongs to the man, so far he has paid her bride price.

hmmm! It should be done willingly though.

Guys make una hustle oo..so dat u no go wait for wife to submit salary.

What the hell kind of irritating question is this?

jarmy:
For only married couples, please!

Should I get my husband to respond instead?

I'm waiting for married couples to come and answer

jarmy:
Good day House.

Please, I need the response of only married couples.

Also, kindly indicate your sex.

My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now. We are blessed with two kids.
During courtship, we agreed that we will have a joint budget which will be funded by the income of both of us.

Initially, I was the only one working, with take-home pay of 40k. She then got a job of about 36k. back then, she would
withdraw her salary and hand it over to me. What I usually do is to hand it over to her and ask her to use it for feeding
while I take care of all other expenses with my salary.

My salary is now about 95k and her's 65k. Our children's school fees, house rent, feeding etc have all increase, no thanks to the current economic realities!

My wife stopped handing over are salary and insisted that I should be giving her feeding money. I clearly explained to her that my income can not accommodate feeding, for now, explaining clearly how I spend my salary and other income but she still insisted that I should be giving her feeding money

The thing is she is into so many saving schemes, without my approval. She just wants to save money!
She is insecure and doesn't trust me. She wants her own stuff: her own car, her own house, etc.

I have never cheated on her, I pay the rents, school fees, paid for her post-graduate programme, buy foodstuffs occasionally etc.

What should I do?

the word HANDOVER is wrong

but i would say PUT OUR MONEY TOGETHER

as Africans especially back in Africa few people or family understand what is a FAMILY INCOME

FAMILY INCOME is total money earned by whoever is working either its hubby/wife only or both

Most africans are financially illiterate, whereby both husbands think getting money from wife salary is a sign to say you are not being a man/not taking care of the family and wives think the same

remember the house or family is your family no one else both your salaries should put together and used for the family needs

you find that most men kicked out wives saying i bought this house with my own money simply because of the reason
above, the husband would be too proud to let wife contribute and when things go bad he uses that excuse to say i bought it with my own money

what the point of marrying and wife keeps money to herself without putting our monies together and work as one unity?

Having saving schemes is ok but the question is, is there any tangible evidence of growth of that money being saved, are you being updated every month of the growth of the savings

donbachi:
Guys make una hustle oo..so dat u no go wait for wife to submit salary.

Ok. but is it ideal for the husband alone to foot all the bills at home? What should a working wife do with her income? I have seen wives that built a house without the husband's knowledge. If you are married to such, would you be happy?

ZIMDRILL:


the word HANDOVER is wrong

but i would say PUT OUR MONEY TOGETHER

as Africans especially back in Africa few people or family understand what is a FAMILY INCOME

FAMILY INCOME is total money earned by whoever is working either its hubby/wife only or both

Most africans are financially illiterate, whereby both husbands think getting money from wife salary is a sign to say you are being a man/not taking care of the family and wives think the same

remember the house or family is your family no one else both your salaries should put together and used for the family needs

you find that most men kicked out wives saying i bought this house with my own money simply because of the reason
above, the husband would be too proud to let wife contribute and when things go bad he uses that excuse to say i bought it with my own money

what the point of marrying and wife keeps money to herself without putting our monies together and work as one unity?

Having saving schemes is ok but the question is, is there any tangible evidence of growth of that money being saved, are you being updated every month of the growth of the savings

Thanks for your comment, especially regarding the husband carrying out projects without the wife's contribution. Concerning update on her savings, she doesn't give me any update.

My wife knows everything about all my projects. I also ensure that I get her support before embarking on any.

I thinks the problems is her insecurity. I don't know where this is coming from.

jarmy:
Ok. but is it ideal for the husband alone to foot all the bills at home? What should a working wife do with her income? I have seen wives that built a house without the husband's knowledge. If you are married to such, would you be happy?

when it comes to money,u cant bend a woman's hand...so,it takes a woman dat has the fear of God to do so.it is not a love thing..cos somebody can love u and still be stingy to u.

In some places in Rivers state I heard tales of women giving their salary to their husband even the husband being the one to receive/collect the wife's salary after which the man will give her money for home upkeep from there sometime an amount bigger than her salary that she collected. What a beauty.

donbachi:
when it comes to money,u cant bend a woman's hand...so,it takes a woman dat has the fear of God to do so.it is not a love thing..cos somebody can love u and still be stingy to u.

Infact most women that claim love are stingy to the man they claim to love.

Why I rate a woman's love more by her lack of stinginesss than provision of sex.

I don’t handover my money to my husband,will never do.

What we agree on is, i take care of some of the expense in the house and I save what is left for myself.

Quick question, why is that every small argument, y’all will say, but “I don’t cheat oh”are we suppose to clap for you? Westin concern money with cheating?

Pls know your wife before you yarn this dust. Nobody get monopoly for anything.

princfred:
In some places in Rivers state I heard tales of women giving their salary to their husband even the husband being the one to receive/collect the wife's salary after which the man will give her money for home upkeep from there sometime an amount bigger than her salary that she collected. What a beauty.

An ideal man is always happy providing for his family. Do you know that most men are more liberal than their wives?

jarmy:
An ideal man is always happy providing for his family. Do you know that most men are more liberal than their wives?

Of course and that's very fine.
Yet a non stingy wive; a fine compliment otherwise the man can be made a goat if things go south for him financially by the very woman he made a queen.

If I may ask, is your wife from Rivers state and has she started associating with igbo women which precipitated the change ? Beware of her latest company.

zeb04:
I don’t handover my money to my husband,will never do.

What we agree on is, i take care of some of the expense in the house and I save what is left for myself.

Quick question, why is that every small argument, y’all will say, but “I don’t cheat oh”are we suppose to clap for you? Westin concern money with cheating?

Pls know your wife before you yarn this dust. Nobody get monopoly for anything.

Thanks for your response. A man is polygamous by nature. Any man that sticks only to his wife is sacrificing for his marriage and keeping to his marital vow.

That said, may I ask, what is the savings for and is oga aware of this?

jarmy:
Thanks for your comment, especially regarding the husband carrying out projects without the wife's contribution. Concerning update on her savings, she doesn't give me any update.

My wife knows everything about all my projects. I also ensure that I get her support before embarking on any.

I thinks the problems is her insecurity. I don't know where this is coming from.

She has been listening to bad advisers Nairaland So Called feminist have gotten to her


On a more serious Note Marriage is a Union and not Single person should foot the bills While the other get to keep theirs. She's just being selfish, Op sit her down and talk to her.

Olorunnim:
She has been listening to bad advisers Nairaland So Called feminist have gotten to her


On a more serious Note Marriage is a Union and not Single person should foot the bills While the other get to keep theirs. She's just being selfish, Op sit her down and talk to her.

Ok, I will do that, if she will listen.

jarmy:
Thanks for your response. A man is polygamous by nature. Any man that sticks only to his wife is sacrificing for his marriage and keeping to his marital vow.

That said, may I ask, what is the savings for and is oga aware of this?

Likely for personal vanities.

School fees is paid once in three months, house rent once a year, feeding three times a day excluding juice for children and special meals. How about her cream, soap, hair and clothes . Review your program, start contributing to feeding money daily, give her the option of helping to pay half of school fees once in a while. Also, let her also contribute a little during house rent. The truth is that, it's not easy on both of you but her especially. She is feeling overwhelmed. Have you gone to market lately? Try and be giving her feeding money she will compliment, let's say you give 1500 for soup, she will add 1k to prepare a week soup. You must be patient with her and let her understand that she is trying. Don't make it look as if it's her duty, it's not true.

jarmy:
Ok, I will do that, if she will listen.

On a dark note, pray she doesn't listen so you can leave her a baby mama; she gets to train the children with that money she no wan bring out and you get a younger fresher wife. Win-win-win situation.

On the good side, don't take the above advice.

Graxie:
School fees is paid once in three months, house rent once a year, feeding three times a day excluding juice for children and special meals. How about her cream, soap, hair and clothes . Review your program, start contributing to feeding money daily, give her the option of helping to pay half of school fees once in a while. Also, let her also contribute a little during house rent. The truth is that, it's not easy on both of you but her especially. She is feeling overwhelmed. Have you gone to market lately? Try and be giving her feeding money she will compliment, let's say you give 1500 for soup, she will add 1k to prepare a week soup. You must be patient with her and let her understand that she is trying. Don't make it look as if it's her duty, it's not true.

Very lovely wife or wife material spotted except for the last sentence.

jarmy:
Thanks for your response. A man is polygamous by nature. Any man that sticks only to his wife is sacrificing for his marriage and keeping to his marital vow.

That said, may I ask, what is the savings for and is oga aware of this?

Oga everybody is polygamous by nature, everyone likes the thrill of something new. Everyone would like to know what variety taste like.

Take your case for example if you cheat, you loose money even though you are barely surviving.

If she cheats, she enjoys the dick and maybe get some “ Thanks for coming money”. So uncle you might want to respect yourself.

For your 2nd question, as long I take care of my own part of the bargain, he doesn’t care about the rest.

jarmy:
Thanks for your response. A man is polygamous by nature. Any man that sticks only to his wife is sacrificing for his marriage and keeping to his marital vow.

That said, may I ask, what is the savings for and is oga aware of this?

What stops women from being polygamous in nature?

Yes, husband and wife should both contribute financially in a marriage but the Nigerian wife is living in a society that doesn’t recognize said financial contribution. When you have a society that doesn’t appreciate a wife’s role in building the communal property of a marriage, then the wife has to look out for herself and her children. Most Nigerian wives hoard money for a rainy day fund. Nigerian women have seen too many wives been kicked out without a kobo to their names start from scratch, too many cautionary tales out there for you not to protect yourself and your kids.

Nigerian men laugh and mock the Western family laws, then in turn cry when Nigerian wives get creative in the absence of such laws. You guys can’t have it both ways.

If she suddenly started hoarding and saving after 10 years of marriage, then, A. something changed in the marriage that made her re-access what would happen to her financially if the marriage ends. B. She got a good advice.

Rather than request a submission of salary, you guys can agree she picks up a/some household expense(s).

Graxie:
School fees is paid once in three months, house rent once a year, feeding three times a day excluding juice for children and special meals. How about her cream, soap, hair and clothes . Review your program, start contributing to feeding money daily, give her the option of helping to pay half of school fees once in a while. Also, let her also contribute a little during house rent. The truth is that, it's not easy on both of you but her especially. She is feeling overwhelmed. Have you gone to market lately? Try and be giving her feeding money she will compliment, let's say you give 1500 for soup, she will add 1k to prepare a week soup. You must be patient with her and let her understand that she is trying. Don't make it look as if it's her duty, it's not true.

Thanks but remember that my net income is just 95k. Some families earn less and still lives happy.

I do car maintenance, parents upkeep and sometimes assist in feeding by buying things in bulk like bag of rice.

IamR:

What stops women from being polygamous in nature?

Just watch National Geographic Channel, you will understand. A man is till sexually active even at 100, some men can have erection by mere looking at a woman

This is strictly for married folks only.

Why on earth will you ask your wife to submit her salary? You should not expect her to do the same thing as she was financially when you got married.

Men should increase their hustle. As she sees you take more responsibility at home, she will take a cue and do the same gradually.

On the other hand, if the man is taking responsibility of every financial expense at home and the wife refuses to do the same, that woman should be examined and in this case, the man should be careful not to go berserk.

Why should she continue "handing over" or "submitting" her salary to you? Ahnn ahnnn, what kinda thing is that? If she's no longer handing over her salary to you but saving, it's probably to protect your family [I doubt she's doing it for herself]. Open a joint account where an agreed amount from both of you goes into - towards household expenses, but demanding her whole salary isn't right. Instead of trying to use her salary as your own extra income, double your hustle and make that money yourself.