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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? (7056 Views)
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Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Nobody: 2:13pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
95K against 65k. The man pays rent, school fees, with probably some day-to-day expenditures like running a gen, if they have one. Recharging meter and what-not and the wife still wants him to drop money. Whereas, their salary difference is just 30k, and someone said the lady is overwhelmed by her own share of the responsibility. Okay, she should keep saving her money 'till her husband dies of BP one day. What do I know sef when I am not married? That was how a family friend gave one advise to always hide my money when I get married and this is a married woman. Perhaps, op,s wife has same mentality as my family friend. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by boldx(m): 2:15pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
jarmy:Who told you men are polygamous in nature? This is strictly African mentality. Do you rub it on your wife's face that you are the sole provider of the house? 6 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by boldx(m): 2:24pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
jarmy:From your comments, I kind of understand your personality. I am sorry to say this my brother. N95,000 monthly income for a man is barely enough for buying fuel, car repairs, feeding, NEPA bills, fuel for generator etc. My brother, just pray for God to enlarge your coast and this wahala will be a thing of the past. |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by eojepa: 2:52pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
My wife and I put our salaries together before spending. After necessary subtraction, we take some more for personal use and save the rest if any in our joint account. This way, its ours and not mine. Our car, our land etc. But a man is expected to have most things before marriage. So oga...ur wife is up to something else. Its her thing and if not corrected may aggravate. 10yrs no b beans. What did you do to that woman to change after such time. Maybe ur choice of words, mentality or.... 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by MMotimo: 3:22pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
From your narrative, it sounds like she’s not comfortable with how you use the family income so she’s taken it upon herself to save compulsively. You’ve mentioned how you pay bills but are you able to put aside any tangible savings after those bills? Is it possible her strategy is to save for possible emergencies that may occur? Communication is key here. Who or what is she saving for? Do you both need to open a joint account so that there’s transparency with the family budget? Since she’s not spending her money on frequent owambes and asoebis, it does not sound like you have a major problem. You both just need to understand and plan the savings. I’m female and I run the household income/budget with occasional input from my husband. That works for us because there’s mutual trust and frankly, it’s less headache for my husband as he doesn’t have to worry his head about planning the money. His income is double mine but no one is siphoning secret monies to do secret anything. All income goes into a joint account. 3 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by cy4eve(f): 3:35pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Jayslicky:African mentality 1 Like |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Octobertwentysix(f): 3:36pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Marriage is the union of two people who share everything and that includes money. Handing over her money shouldn't be used but rather contributing to the family income, we've been married for eight years with two girls and a baby boy, the formula I and my husband use is simple. we both have paid salary jobs and side hustle, I have small company and he has his own side hustle, from our salaries we put some amount in our children's account and the rest of the money goes into what we call our capital projects such as car, land and building, now from my side hustle I buy foodstuffs like plantains, garri, yam,palm oil, dried fish and crayfish etc because I have access to local farmers who comes to sell these thing on market days, while my husband is responsible for sack of rice, beans, beverages, detergents etc. He is responsible for school fees, House rent I assist when needed but it's not compulsory, and any of us can buy clothes and shoes for the children. it's all about financial intelligence and trust. Most women who try to hide money from their spouse do so out of fear of the unknown, sit with your wife and discuss what's best for you, just because A is doing it doesn't mean it will work for B. Cheers. 12 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Octobertwentysix(f): 3:47pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
eojepa:Exactly may be he said something or did something that made her change or he's manner of spending scared her to start saving or maybe she had started listening to all these 'hide your money' women who believe that there can never be men who are faithful husbands and would one day push the woman out, I have a lot of them as neighbors and colleagues. 3 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by cy4eve(f): 3:51pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
jarmy:Don't make it look as if she's indebted to u or anyone in d family, u don't make such rule bcus u re the head "'african mentality'". I believe sharing is a willing thing, so b polite. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by goldemimcmr: 4:08pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
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Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by princfred(m): 4:21pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Octobertwentysix: TEMPLATE |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by sisisioge: 4:25pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
I will call my married neighbours to come and contribute o 1 Like |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ThothHermes: 4:29pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
budaatum:Are you a woman Or gay Muttleylaff is Buda female |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Mizwisdom(f): 4:29pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
jarmy: If she tells. you to prepare lunch or dinner for the family you will start preaching that a man is not supposed to do such but here you are shamelessly waiting for your wife's sweat. Look Oga, you're a man and the head of the family, start acting like one, go out there and hustle enough so that you won't be waiting for your wife's meagre salary, the only way I personally will share my salary is if I see that my husband helps me with domestic work and he's humble. 7 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Joystark(f): 4:55pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
princfred: What's with the 'Rivers State' and 'Igbo women' talk nau? 1 Like |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Joystark(f): 4:57pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Octobertwentysix: Okay, this looks nice. Married people come and tell us more o. |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ZIMDRILL(m): 5:00pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
jarmy: i get you but its you who have to make her self secure like right now you say "MY PROJECT" instead of saying OUR PROJECT remember in most marriage ceremony they say you are now ONE meaning you no longer think and do things as an individual but as couple, couple means who people who have the same vision, goals and they sit down and agree to those visions and goals 2 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by princfred(m): 5:31pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Joystark:Point that you couldn't help but notice. |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by princfred(m): 5:34pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Mizwisdom:The children he made with you no reach to help you na unless he come make eba abi. Dont worry na to arrange sexy calaber house girl wey go help you and help me for everywhere no be only to make eba. |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:20pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
theButterfly:Do you know the irony of it? She may even get more from me if she agrees to submit her pay. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Nobody: 6:25pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
More out of thin air, abi? Yawn, double your hustle, oga. jarmy: 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:28pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Octobertwentysix:Well said |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:31pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
boldx:Ok. Thanks |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:34pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
MMotimo:She has a personal mutual fund account and another saving scheme at her place of work. I have worked hard to ensure that we complete our own house but she sees the house as mine and not ours |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:39pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
ZIMDRILL:What if they don't agree? marriages are successful because there is a will to make sacrifices. It must be a collective effort and not a one-sided thing. |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by thorpido(m): 6:44pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Why did you come up with the idea of submitting her salary to you in the first place?Na you employ am? Why do you people like to start something that will backfire later? 14 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:45pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Mizwisdom: So what would you do with your income, knowing fully well that your husband's salary cannot pay all the bills? 1 Like |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by jarmy: 6:48pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
thorpido:She was doing that before. |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Acidosis(m): 7:08pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Boss, your wife's contribution is a privilege, not a right. 7 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:22pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
jarmy: if they dont agree they need to back to drawing board and find a way to agree to knew thing that work for both in this case he is saying she wants her own house, lets forget about the car because if money is there you can have cars in family one for each but for me when comes to marriage you can not say this is house my house and that one is hers nothing wrong with having many properties aka house but having them in personal names while you are married is not a good idea she wants her own house may be the house is in his name only thats why she feels insecure WHY? (from the few responds i see here when it comes to properties aka house when the husband dies, husband's relatives will kick the window out take over the house etc ) so her solution would be having her own house just in case But eg if the husband puts both there name on the property she feel secure because in the even he dies before her, she will legally the owner of the house and kids would have a roof on there head so sometimes it is us men we make our women insecure because we do not involve them in financial decision of the future, therefore they try to have secret future plans in case the worst happen i agree that sometimes we need to sacrifice personal happiness for marriage to work but its always better to lead by example eg you as the husband lead by sacrificing first 6 Likes |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by Rukkydelta(f): 7:22pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Jayslicky: Savagery |
Re: Should A Wife Submit Her Salary? by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:27pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
jarmy: good question besides where is her salary supposed to go ? is it that when you got married you claimed to be ONE so his salary and her is meant for the two of you aka your house as husband and wife |
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