₦airaland Forum

Beat123:
Brother! She may hv lied I don’t know. But for the fact that she didn’t give you n pretend which obviously it would be from you.

She tried. She’s not wicked after all.

Accept her if you love her n your kids

Help her make it work.

She will adore you forever


Ps: you don’t hv to tell anyone!

Your kids Surely are clean so you hv no worries.

In sickness and in health remember?

Hobbsandshaw:
My fear is that,I may not be lucky forever, and even with the situation at hand, she is still full of attitudes.She is a very stubborn woman.

sinaj:
wether you have a strong immune system or not, if hiv should enter your system, its destroying that immune system you rate high.
Unless you are immune to the virus itself or your partner is on good drugs.

NaijaTushboy:
dude you are just lucky to have a short d**k coz peope with short konji doesn't penetrate place where HIV dey if it was someone like me or lalastic***hmmm

GrabHisBalls:
Stop saying she pressured you. I don't think women easily pressure men into doing things they don't want. I could even deduce you married her 'cause a child was involved which you had a choice to say 'No' to. Inasmuch as she may have fooled you, you have your own share of the blame. Couples undergo series of test like genotype, blood group, HIV status before marriage. If you'd both done this, you would've known her status prior to the marriage. That would've informed you that she's infected since you're lucky to have been immune to the virus.

yemisolar:
Eleyi gidi gaan ( this one strong o)

Let's try to take it fact by fact:

Fact#1 is she HIV positive now? YES

Fcat #2 she told you she was pregnant. Did you conduct any test on your own before paying the bride price despite the fact that it must have taken some months before gathering your people and money to do traditional marriage? NO

Fact #3 pregnancy mysteriously disappeared. Did you ask any questions or do any test? NO

Fact#4 she told you that she was to have a C-section because the baby was so small. Did you see or study any of the scan results or at least ask for opinion? NO

But you did research to know that Nevirapine is to stop mother to child transmission of HIV.

Not that I don't believe you, but you need to she'd more light on some aspects of the story.

if she breastfeed the your first son at all and she was positive at the time she would most likely have infected your son.

Also, if she was already infected at that time, it's somewhat inprobable that the tests would have been non reactive after two years during the pregnancy of your second son.

If it is true that's he has been taking antirotroviral drugs for FIVE YEARS. How come you did not notice inspite of your suspicion? It's either she is a great pretender or you are greatly careless and non observant.

I have not said she is right. I am saying you could have handled things in a better way.

Suggestions

Make sure you get 2 or 3 opinions on your (and your sons') HIV status and be sure you are safe.

Secondly,you need to have a heart to heart discussion with her devoid if anger and emotion on the way forward. You will need medical advice if you decide to stay with her.

If you establish that she she actually decided you into the marriage, it is a ground for divorce mainly because you life and that of your son's are at stake here. That changes the equation of things entirely because of the children involved.

Lastly, there is the option of loving forgiving and loving her through it. As wierd as it might sound,she might have not been open because she was afraid of loosing you.
It doesn't make it right but it's a reason. besides, being HIV positive is not a death sentence.

It's a tough one the Lord can lead you through it if you allow Him

Hobbsandshaw:
I dare not show her any sign at all.I know her very well, she won't mind poisoning me

Hobbsandshaw:
I need mature advice from nairalanders.

I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.

The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.

She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.

She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.

Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.

This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.

I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her.
What should I do?

Kokaine:
Which one be discordant couple again

7pages:
thanks for educating my ignorance Sinaj

Hobbsandshaw:
I need mature advice from nairalanders.

I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.

The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.

She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.

She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.

Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.

This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.

I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her.
What should I do?

Breaststroke:
The lies and deception feels too much. Bros no vex, e be like say you no be street guy.

How did you let your wife koba you like this nah? I am vexing on your behalf because what she knowingly did is cruel & malicious.

She knew you were at risk of being infected but didn't disclose her status. Chances are, she would have turned things around and claimed you infected her via infidelity, if you ever tested positive for HIV.

You are right to be afraid and distrustful of her, in fact you should be. There was a HIV thread where a guy said his former roommate in school deliberately infected him because of a fight they had during first semester.

If you attempt or threaten to take the boys away she may harm you. Whatever you decide to do, plan it carefully and quietly without her knowing.
You're completely right.

GrabHisBalls:
Stop pushing blames. She didn't force you into marriage. This is why I dislike getting pregnant out of wedlock and suddenly getting the man marry you. Most men who marry in such conditions only do so for the child, not for the woman. Davido impregnated 2, didn't marry any and wasn't forced. Even the Chioma he claims to have so much affection for is pregnant just like the other ladies. Question is, would he have married her if not for the pregnancy? Wizkid has his and wasn't forced. At least, not yet. Own up to your mistakes 'cause you could've said 'No' and nothing would have happened.

What happened to having your medical records before marriage? How insensitive were you that your wife was taking a particular drug for 5 good years under your nose and you had no idea? Just thank God you and your son's are immune to the virus.

Hobbsandshaw:
I need mature advice from nairalanders.

I got married to my wife December,2015. The
What should I do?

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Can you do what you wrote here?

Hobbsandshaw:
My concern really is my boys.I want the best for them

Flier:
Dont mind him,it’s not possible. He can’t be having sex with an hiv positive woman for more than 5 years and still negative
I think the wife just contacted it

Hobbsandshaw:
I need mature advice from nairalanders.

I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came last month.

The issue now is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.

She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.She then pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people",but the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.

She eventually took in(for real this time),she came back from antenatal one afternoon crying, when I enquired what the issue was, she told me that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to have the baby by herself,I was there consoling her not knowing that the doctor opted for C-SECTION because she is HIV positive.She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.The baby was 3.6kg at birth.My son was giving Nevirapine.I did some search and discovered that the drug is an antiretroviral drug,I became worried but I still played it down.

Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son in a different hospital, maybe she might have thought to herself that at this point there is nothing I will do any more, she told me that the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor not satisfied with result of our confirmatory test,took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the rush for the marriage and the Nevirapine that was giving to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.

This woman has hid her status from me and have been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at one teaching hospitals I went for the test last month that maybe I'm just lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I have been expecting her to show remorse, and maybe apologize but she is still doing as if nothing happened.

I can't discuss this with my family or even hers, she will be stigmatize.I feel betrayed,I don't know how long I will stay in this marriage, but then I'm concerned about my boys. I'm afraid she might get desperate and try other means to infect me,I don't trust her.
What should I do?

Hobbsandshaw:
My fear is that,I may not be lucky forever, and even with the situation at hand, she is still full of attitudes.She is a very stubborn woman.

Omojudy:
Bro, hard truth is you have to forgive. I know someone in similar shoes. The only difference is that he hasn’t found out. Sometimes we have to try and understand things from the perspective of these carriers. It’s hard being stigmatized for something probably wasn’t our fault.
Do you think it was by your power you didn’t get infected from other girls in your previous life or were you a virgin till marriage?
So for your sanity, your kids future and all, forgive,take your drugs and live. About madam think of an appropriate punishment. Maybe threaten a separation till she comes back sober. And you too please don’t go about having side chicks especially without a condom!

AfroKnight:
OMG!

This woman can kill.

Beat123:
Brother! She may hv lied I don’t know. But for the fact that she didn’t give you n pretend which obviously it would be from you.

She tried. She’s not wicked after all.

Accept her if you love her n your kids

Help her make it work.

She will adore you forever


Ps: you don’t hv to tell anyone!

Your kids Surely are clean so you hv no worries.

In sickness and in health remember?

GrabHisBalls:
Stop saying she pressured you. I don't think women easily pressure men into doing things they don't want. I could even deduce you married her 'cause a child was involved which you had a choice to say 'No' to. Inasmuch as she may have fooled you, you have your own share of the blame. Couples undergo series of test like genotype, blood group, HIV status before marriage. If you'd both done this, you would've known her status prior to the marriage. That would've informed you that she's infected since you're lucky to have been immune to the virus.

Hobbsandshaw:
Brother calm down.This issue is not as simple as you are seeing it.This woman is desperate to keep me,if I force anything, she will fight in a dangerous means. And forget,we have two children together already.I need all the wisdom I'll get to handle this situation.I'm not weak at all.