₦airaland Forum

Lol it's good to be stubborn and cold, when you are a goat nobody bothers about you, it's obvious your mother knows you have terrible choices when it comes to women, if not I dont see why a woman will be telling me a man, who to end up with. Lol

If this is true, I have to ask. Where is your dad?

If this is true, then
Your mum is a manipulative selfish woman
You are a weak-assed punk

If you go ahead to marry this girl against your mother's wish, I give it a maximum of 6 months before you cave in to your mother's blackmail and make the poor girl's life a living hell.

Are you man enough?

ctleurocollege:
How old is your mum? If your dad is late get her hooked

My dad is alive and kicking. She has always had her way with all decisions. He allows her decide.

LewsTherin:
If this is true, I have to ask. Where is your dad?

If this is true, then
Your mum is a manipulative selfish woman
You are a weak-assed punk

If you go ahead to marry this girl against your mother's wish, I give it a maximum of 6 months before you cave in to your mother's blackmail and make the poor girl's life a living hell.

Are you man enough?

This is my life, so it's true.

My dad believes her judgement and basically supports her decisions.

I'm not weak. No one wants to keep fighting against someone who can rally the whole family against you and make you isolated. You want to be on her good side but I don't care anymore about her opinion on this matter.

Also note that she has made some right judgments in the past.

When I marry Hauwa we will stay far from her and keep our distance to avoid interference. When I'm married there's no room for external manipulation that's why she's fighting it now.

I am man enough because I have made firm choices that keep making life better for me. Hauwa who by all standards will be considered a very wealthy young lady can see how much of a man I am such that she is even Willing to pitch her tent as a life partner.

pcguru1:
Lol it's good to be stubborn and cold, when you are a goat nobody bothers about you, it's obvious your mother knows you have terrible choices when it comes to women, if not I dont see why a woman will be telling me a man, who to end up with. Lol

You are right on this.

I guess that's why Robert Greene said it's better to be feared than loved.

I will be more assertive about it

Ayiiii

You are the first born I guess.

Propose to your mum

johndan103:
Background
I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.


Statement of Problem
My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.


More Details
She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship).
She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.



My Point of View
I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.

My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.


Hauwa's Point of View
Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.


Mom's Point of View
The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home).
The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.


Family point of view
My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.


My Question
What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??


NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person.
Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.

Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.

Cheers

Hmm, you are Okun too. My mum has told me expressly never to bring an unOkun girl home she even emphasized yagba. I'm just laughing. Me tht wants to marry oyinbo.

Your mum is a pyscho. Marry beyond her back. Nothing will happen. Parental blessing doesn't guarantee good marriage . People with these kind of mentality don't deserve to be alive

johndan103:
This is my life, so it's true.

My dad believes her judgement and basically supports her decisions.

I'm not weak. No one wants to keep fighting against someone who can rally the whole family against you and make you isolated. You want to be on her good side but I don't care anymore about her opinion on this matter.

Also note that she has made some right judgments in the past.

When I marry Hauwa we will stay far from her and keep our distance to avoid interference. When I'm married there's no room for external manipulation that's why she's fighting it now.

I am man enough because I have made firm choices that keep making life better for me. Hauwa who by all standards will be considered a very wealthy young lady can see how much of a man I am such that she is even Willing to pitch her tent as a life partner.

Good for you.

Hope you can keep to this.

But....... Oh well.

She's a witch

johndan103:
Sorry if the grammer offends you. I only want people reading to understand instaed of mumbling words that might confuse the reader.

Bros, as much as parental consent is important, when parents become selfish and sentimental, the best thing is to follow your heart.
You can't marry your mom. And your mom has lived her life already. Don't lose a gem cos mama doesn't approve. She'll come round someday. Follow your heart.

johndan103:
Sorry if the grammer offends you. I only want people reading to understand instaed of mumbling words that might confuse the reader.

Very coherent narrative.

Such a perfect family. Am jealous! Get out with this hoax !

johndan103:
Background
I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.


Statement of Problem
My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.


More Details
She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship).
She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.



My Point of View
I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.

My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.


Hauwa's Point of View
Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.


Mom's Point of View
The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home).
The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.


Family point of view
My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.


My Question
What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??


NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person.
Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.

Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.

Cheers

she wants yo to marry her...

Op i had this same experience exactly like yours but let me tell you the consequence, you would end up marrying someone you dont love. I insisted I would marry my wife, they didnt even attend my wedding but we are heading to our fourth year of marriage and it feels like yesterday. Your mum is not ready to give you up, the bond you have with her is very strong.

Oga you are now a man, if you dont put your fits down your mum wont let you be, this happened to my cousin whose mother is from okun yagba west, till now his mother still envies his wife and request for double of what the lady gets as gift or even what the ladiy buys herself, whenever she visits him she make them make pouded yam almost everyday and the woman only eats her own soup

The best thing you can do now is to marry who you love because no matter who you marry your mum wouldnt let go, but if you marry and impregnate huawa , you can always make peace with huawa anytime your mum flares up and with love the two of you can over come your mum's clinginess and even make jokes about it in future when you both love each other

..

Give me Hauwa's no & let me marry her

UjuJoan2:
The first time the mother met me, she told me out-rightly that her son had 'better' options but turned them down, and she wanted to see if he will finally bring home 'gold'!

Long story short, I eventually became her best DIL.

She died three months ago and I miss her dearly . . . . my heart literally breaks each time I think of her

This is good. At least finally, a good MIL/DIL story with a happy ending for all of us who are afraid

Your mum is a witch..End of story..

Marry your mum and have peace.

pocohantas:
E remain make you type reference and appreciation, it'll become a fullblown final year project.

Maybe it is this your grammar that is making her refuse. She is probably not understanding you and your choices.

Ogbeni comot for here. Didn't you understand what he is saying?

johndan, come and introduce me....she would like me

you may end up marrying the wrong one.PLEASE dear nairalanders my name is celestine nwankwo 28YRS OLD from awgu L.G.A. enugu stat For almost 12yrs now i have been down with spinal cord injure.no source of income i hav been living on family support especially my ageing mother who has been nursing me at home for all this while. but right now things are very very difficut for me and my mother who is also diabetic expecially feeding and title medications.please i need your help in any way posible no matter how small it will make a diffrence and i am also looking for a goverment or N G O rehabilitation home for the disable. thank and GOD BLESS.see my signature below for more details.

johndan103:
Some men have married women older than them and had a peaceful home. Age is just a number, love comes to us in different ways. In our case I am even older than her with some months. I dont really fancy distant age gaps in my choice of a partner and Hauwa is very obiedient, respectful, beautiful and most of all emotionally matured and stable.

I dont think age will have any negetive impact on our relationship cos we understand each other perfectly.

Your mum seems to have insecurities. She wants to ensure she has full control over you... and by extension, whoever you marry. That's why she keeps trying to hook you up with her friends' daughters. That would also mean control over the in-laws. And from your post, even your dad can't influence his wife's decision. What a pity! She'd only consent to your marriage if you bring her an asslicker who is perhaps an orphan.

In all honesty, your mum isn't acting like a good person... and if you're not careful, you'll end up miserable.

elektra:
Since it is looking like your mother will never accept your choice of wife, you have only two options.
You either marry Hauwa, or your mother’s choice.

If you go ahead and marry hauwa, be ready to grow some balls and protect your wife. It is obvious your mother will try to frustrate the girl. You have to be ready to stand up to your mother and put her in her place when the need arises. In-laws can really destroy peaceful marriages and should not be underrated.


Hauwa, if you are reading. Please seriously reconsider if this is the family you want to spend the rest of your life with. I am a firm believer in wives loving their husbands family as their own and vice versa. Even with families that love and accept you, problems will arise talk less of families that are obviously against you. Think very well before you enter oh, marriage is hard enough without all this other stress.

Personally, I won't advise any lady to go ahead to marry a man whose mom does not approve of their union EXCEPT you can guarantee that you'd protect your wife from the wrath of mama. No mother likes being disobeyed especially because of another woman.
Cos mothers will always find a way to influence their son, and you can't alienate a son from his mom. Some mothers never forgive, even after the giving birth to male and female children for her son.
Hauwa, can you cope? Think twice.

Okay we get it YOU ARE RICH